Securities and Exchange Commission Says Stock Market A Fantasyland, Fucked

[EEO]

Wall Street is setting up the next economic collapse, and the government just shrugs.

Securities and Exchange Commission Says Stock Market A Fantasyland, Fucked

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): Earlier this morning, the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) confirmed a report from last week that it did not have the authority to prevent companies from engaging in stock buybacks. SEC Chair Mary Jo White assured Americans they would all become well-acquainted with what stock buybacks were "when the economy tanks again, basically due to the same type of stock market manipulation and lack of government regulation that caused it the last time."

And...

White added, "What this means is stock values are largely based in a fantasyland and are completely fucked. And many companies are quasi-legally doing stock buybacks instead of increasing wages or investing in things like research and development."

The seal of the government agency that will not
prevent the next economic collapse. (Above)

[Hydra]

1. It's coming, it's just a matter of when and what it will look like

Jaime Dimon flippantly pointed out that we're back on the 5-7 year crash cycle again, which means there's basically no recovery time for Main St before they go massively raid the treasury again.

A bonus is that they'll keep consolidating into bigger companies and have smaller numbers of "competitors." Pretty soon they'll just be vacuuming up money from the treasury like the MIC does.

[EEO]

3. Yup. Good times.

For him and his criminal friends.

[Jim Lane]

2. You should note it's a satire in case anyone didn't figure it out.

Anyone who gets to the second paragraph and sees the SEC head supposedly using the word "fucked" in a statement will know. Even the first paragraph is VERY unlikely to be true but some people might be fooled.

Scroll down from your linked story:
"The Nil Admirari is spurious news."

[Ruby the Liberal]

4. The SEC said "fucked"?

*hides bogus thread*