The last thing UK Labour needs is a leader like Jeremy Corbyn who people want to vote for

[T_i_B]

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/the-last-thing-labour-needs-is-a-leader-like-jeremy-corbyn-who-people-want-to-vote-for-10411466.html

Blair himself has informed us Corbyn would be a disaster. This could cause a problem, because for giving his views in a speech Blair usually charges at least £200,000, and Labour’s finances are stretched enough as it is. Normally he’s advising the government of Kazakhstan or a Saudi Arabian oil company, or shaking hands with characters like Colonel Gaddafi so it’s surprising he didn’t suggest cancelling the election and putting the army in charge of the party, and sentencing Diane Abbott to 500 lashes. Even so it’s sweet of him to take time out from his busy schedule. He said that if your heart is telling you to vote for Corbyn, you need a heart transplant. You can see how he thinks this, because the first word anyone thinks of when they see Blair is “heart”. Tony Heart Blair is what his friends President Assad of Syria and ex-military ruler Mubarak of Egypt call him.

The Blair viewpoint has clearly affected Margaret Beckett, as she’s one of the MPs who nominated Corbyn, and her response to being called a moron was to agree. She regrets helping him to stand for the election, she says, as she never guessed he would win as much support as he has. This is a novel attitude towards democracy, that the worst thing you can do in an election is allow someone to stand if they might win. Maybe Labour should change its rules for elections again, so that anyone who disagrees with Blair is only allowed to stand if they sign a pledge to get fewer than eight votes.

Luckily, Corbyn’s opponents are making a persuasive case for their own bids. Andy Burnham is especially clear that he’s opposed to the Tory’s Welfare Bill, as it will “Hit working families” and “hit children particularly badly”. Indeed he’s so opposed to it that he was determined not to vote against it. The most effective way to oppose it, he insisted, was to abstain rather than vote against it, because that way he can unite the party against it. It’s so rare that a politician speaks clearly like that, in a language we can all understand. Presumably he’ll be telling all his supporters not to vote for him in the leadership election, but to abstain as that way he can win by even more.

If you look at Corbyn’s record it’s clear he just can’t win elections. In his constituency of Islington North he inherited a majority of 4,456, which is now 21,194. He’s one of the few Labour MPs whose vote increased between 2005 and 2010, when he added 5,685 to his majority. This is typical of the man, defying the official Labour policy of losing votes and getting more of them instead, just to be a rebel.

[nxylas]

1. Love a bit of Mark Steel

He's that rarity, a political comedian who is funny, rather than preachy.

[Joe Chi Minh]

2. Blair's endorsement is the kiss of death. I think Corbyn is

our Bernie.

[T_i_B]

3. Blair hasn't endorsed any candidate...

...other then to attack Corbyn and turn the Labour leadership contest into an open civil war between Labour's Blairite top brass and the parties grassroots.

[Joe Chi Minh]

5. True. I mis-wrote!

[uriel1972]

4. Can't be having anyone remotely progressive...

might scare the Establishment and the private positions after politics might dry up.

[Joe Chi Minh]

6. What a mess, eh? NuLab(c).. Thatcher's own Labour party.

[T_i_B]

7. Every club should be like Labour – you can’t join as a new member unless you’re already a member

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/every-club-should-be-like-labour--you-cant-join-as-a-new-member-unless-youre-already-a-member-10428421.html

It’s outsiders that have caused it. The only explanation for the madness that’s taken over the Labour Party, according to MPs such as John Mann, is people from outside are joining Labour, so the leadership election should be cancelled.

Presumably John Mann would change the rules, so no one was allowed to join the Labour Party unless they were already a member. That should stop these scheming non-members from trying to infiltrate the party through the trick of becoming members. Then Mann should be put in charge of other organisations to keep out troublemakers. If you apply to join a snooker club, he could be there to ask “are you already a member of this snooker club?” If you said you weren’t – which is why you’d like to join – he’d say, “Get out. I know your game pal, you want to turn us into a canoeing club.” That way it would stay pure and wholesome.

The most important job for any political leader, as we’re told every day, is to “stay in the centre ground”. You could argue a true leader tries to change the centre ground, but that’s romantic nonsense. So a sensible Labour leader in the year 1500 would have said: “It’s all very well Jeremy Corbyn promising to stop burning witches, but that will lose us the election by abandoning the centre ground.”

Another reason it would be ridiculous to make Corbyn leader, say his opponents, is the Tory press would be brutal towards him. This is a fair point, as The Sun and Telegraph and Mail would be scrupulously fair to any other Labour leader. They’ll never stoop to publishing photographs of Andy Burnham or Yvette Cooper chewing food. It’s only fair to choose the leader Rupert Murdoch suggests, as this is far more sensible than allowing the vote to be infiltrated by outsiders.

[Joe Chi Minh]

8. It seems as if it was meant to be a satire, but it's very convoluted, and was

perhaps meant to be serious.

[T_i_B]

9. Mark Steel does write satire...

....whereas John Mann's call for the Labour leadership contest to be halted because it isn't producing the results he wants is pretty much beyond satire.

[Joe Chi Minh]

10. Sorry. The penny's dropped.... I think. The outsider being Corbyn:

Nately to Blair's Milo Minderbinder.