Tens Of Thousands Sign White House Petition For Alaska To Secede And Rejoin Russia

[uhnope]

Last edited Sat Mar 29, 2014, 04:31 PM - Edit history (1)

Source: CBS

WASHINGTON (CBS DC) – A new White House petition has been launched calling for the state of Alaska to secede from the U.S. and rejoin Russia. The petition – called “Alaska Back to Russia” — has nearly 30,000 signatures after being created March 21 by S.V. of Anchorage.

The petitioner does not explain or provide any reason why Alaska should rejoin Russia, but just states: “Vote for secession of Alaska from the United States and joining Russia.”

The petition, which is strangely worded, describes how Alaska was settled and populated by native Russians.

“First visited Alaska August 21, 1732, members of the team boat “St. Gabriel »under the surveyor Gvozdev and assistant navigator I. Fedorov during the expedition Shestakov and DI Pavlutski 1729-1735 years,” the petition states.

Read more: http://washington.cbslocal.com/2014/03/27/tens-of-thousands-sign-white-house-petition-for-alaska-to-secede-and-rejoin-russia/

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"strangely worded" = broken English direct from Russian, evidently

[Cooley Hurd]

1. Wow. Must SUCK to be a TRAITOR!

Join Putin's anti-semite-anti-lgbt Russia, ya horses asses!

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

31. Now now, you don't know who is signing it.

It might be a petition started and largely signed by people outside of Alaska

[Cooley Hurd]

32. Todd Palin, signatory. ;-)

[PatrynXX]

73. oh Rick Perry

wanna move up there. ironic all this pro Capitalism guys wanna go socialist

[roguevalley]

78. I live here and have NEVER heard anyone say we need to go back to

Russia. And there were native people here when the Russians came. This is some punk in Russia having a go at restoring their empire. If Russia ever decided to come here and take this place back, they better bring three body bags for every soldier. There are guns having guns up here.

[Salviati]

2. What are they calling it?

The "Better Red than Black" movement?

[Scuba]

22. DUzy!!!

[Heather MC]

56. You Win, but I guess no one told them

Always bet on black

[freshwest]

87. Nailed it. n/t

[LiberalEsto]

3. Under one condition: They have to take Sarah Palin

[Bluenorthwest]

5. As I recall Todd Palin was a member of a secessionist Party prior to the McGramps

campaign....

[LiberalEsto]

6. Well, they'll have to take him too nt

[jmowreader]

14. It was called the Alaska Independence Party

I wonder if they know Russia doesn't speak English.

[MNBrewer]

40. Does what Sarah Palin speaks count as English?

[Jackpine Radical]

66. No, that's Gibberish.

She took a language immersion course on the planet Gibber.

[jmowreader]

74. It's closer to English than to Russian, anyway

[2banon]

28. ^This! 1000+!

[SummerSnow]

60. Yes, she must be the first to go. I'll pay her fare

[lastlib]

68. GMTA!

I was gonna add, first condition is, Moose Lady goes with 'em.

[penndragon69]

4. Red state ASS HOLES.

Good bye !

[Jake Stern]

7. If they don't want to be part of the team let 'em go! nt

[roguevalley]

80. NO ONE HERE IS PART OF THIS! Truly. No Alaskan I ever heard spoke about any

form of secession and never to Russia. I have lived here for 40 years. Never once.

We leave secession to Texas and the other trogs who talk about it. Truly, I have never once heard it. in normal people conversation. (Except from Joe and the independence party years ago.

[chuckstevens]

8. Todd Palin?

Remember folks: In right-wing world, it was just fine for Sarah Palin to say that Barack Obama "paled around with terrorists" (Bill Ayres), yet failed to mention that in 1968 when Ayres was protesting Vietnam, Barack Obama was an 8 year old boy living 1000's of miles away. Yet this racist, vile, piece of shit, phony Christian husband's Todd was once a member of the Alaskan Secessionist Party.

If this group were to secede, they have to take the all Palins with them!

[Reter]

42. The Alaskan Independence Party that Todd supported certianly does not want to join Russia

They want to form their own country.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alaskan_Independence_Party

[jberryhill]

51. Oh, Okay, that's much better then

For a moment, I thought they might not like the US.

[Scootaloo]

9. Ten bucks says maybe ten of those are Alaskans

I lived in Alaska. If Alaska breaks off, Alaska's going to be Alaska. MAYBE seek to join Canada. Russia my ass.

[FailureToCommunicate]

10. Hey, Sarah, How's that secession-changy thing workin out for ya?

(Sounds like Sarah's kind of petition)

[adieu]

11. I have no problems with this

I do wonder, however, what Canada might want to say about it. If there's any body of land that should take Alaska, it would be Canada, as Alaska is contiguous with Canada.

[AllTooEasy]

18. Bullshit!

Alaska is a donor state. It gives the federal gov't more money than it takes in. I say we give taker, red states like the entire south back to England/France/etc.

[n2doc]

21. I'm ok with Georgia going 'back' to England

At least I'd get health care, and guns would be outlawed.

[demilib]

25. Unfortunately,

we would still have to deal with David Cameron.

[n2doc]

37. Better him than Crooked Deal

Although maybe we will wise up and get Carter. One can only hope.

[SunSeeker]

26. LOL nt

[StoneCarver]

48. You are mistaken

Sorry, But I couldn't let this pass. Alaska is NOT a donor state, -but a taker state. They get back almost $2 for every dollar they send to Washington.

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2011/11/states-federal-taxes-spending-charts-maps
States receiving the most federal funding per tax dollar paid:
1. New Mexico: $2.63
2. West Virginia: $2.57
3. Mississippi: $2.47
4. District of Colombia: $2.41
5. Hawaii: $2.38
6. Alabama: $2.03
7. Alaska: $1.93
8. Montana: $1.92
9. South Carolina: $1.92
10. Maine: $1.78

[bravenak]

53. Thank you!

We give welfare to big oil and uncle sam gives it back to us. Pretty much.

[bravenak]

52. We are a red state.

We get welfare from the government. We need it. We are a red state.

[roguevalley]

81. We are a huge mineral and food resource for this country. Consider this, lower forty eight

before you bust your ass kicking us around.

Here is what the average is for Barrow, the northern most city in north america:

Cost of living (National average is 100%): cost of living: 120%, utilities: 229% and groceries: 139%. It can cost up to $2400 dollars A MONTH to heat a house in the bush.

Most of the towns and cities in Alaska including the state capital, Juneau are not accessible by road. You take boats, planes to get there and you have to ship everything in that you need. Many is the Alaskan who comes to the city once a year to buy an entire years worth of food and supplies, then ship it home on barges or planes. The cost of shipping is exorbitant.

Housing is everything from mansions to shacks. We have a space rocket installation in Kodiak and stone age villages all over the place with tough smart people living a life style that their ancestors taught them with a resilience that you wouldn't be able to emulate more than a day or two. There is a large number of bush villages that don't have running water or sewers. You take your shit bucket down to the lagoon everyday and pour it in. TB and hepatitis are epidemic up here.

It can cost 10$ a gallon for gas in the bush, as much for milk and other food. Stores ship in their goods and it can cost an arm and a leg to eat. Food isn't fresh in the winter which can go on forever. given a good wind chill, it can go to -180 up north. My dad when he worked driving pipe to Prudhoe was forced to wait out a storm with those temps.

You have roads and transportation. People up here actually use sleds (snow machines) and dog sleds to get around in some places. You can go nuts from the isolation and manmy do.

Lots of people subsist, gathering food during the good months to last through the bad.

What you take for granted in your lower 48 life we are still trying to build here. I doubt that you would put up with half the shit we do because our infrastructure is still either space age or stone age depending where you live.

We pay taxes and give lots of stuff to the US. We are tough and resilient. Its easy to knock us but try and live without us. You would be surprised how much of your life out there depends on the efforts of people here.

The Palins are a joke here. I love this place. We give back more than we get and we make do with stuff that you wouldn't tolerate. Alaska is a good place.

[bravenak]

85. I have lived in Anchorage for 22 years and i love it.

But we are a red state and we get more $ in from the fed than we pay out. That is my point.
I still live here. Thats why i said WE are a red state.

[roguevalley]

95. I have lived here for 40. we are a blue state bought out

by red oil money. I remember when we were blue. Money and oil did their usual deeds.

[NBachers]

12. Let's start a petition to buy anyone a one-way ticket to the Russian destination of choice

You wanna go? We'll pay your way on Malaysia Airlines, or you can steam over on the White Star Line. Sign the paper on the way out, and don't come back ever again.

Welcome Home!

[jmowreader]

20. No, no, that's not necessary

There's a whole fleet of salmon boats up there that are more than capable of crossing the Bering Strait.

[cosmicone]

63. Why plane? They can see Russia from their houses! n/t

[Auntie Bush]

89. They can go by rowboat, canoe or sailboat...no plane.

Their relatives got here by boat so why not leave by the same method?

[cosmicone]

90. Or... they can wait for the next ice age and walk across the frozen sea n/t

[Auntie Bush]

91. That would be a good solution but it takes too long since we're headed in the opposite direction.

However it would be a good method to keep the Polar Bears from starving.

[cosmicone]

93. Not according to teabaggers hahaha n/t

[snappyturtle]

13. Hell no! nt

[Jerry442]

15. Putin/Palin in2018!!! NT

[AllTooEasy]

16. I bet this petition is a gag

Seriously?

[red dog 1]

58. You only need 50 signatures to get a petition up on the White House's

"We The People" (petition place)..and then you need to get 100,000 signatures within 30 days to even get a response from the White House.

[SummerSnow]

62. Then we can definitely get those many signatures to exile Palin

lol

[red dog 1]

98. I'll sign that petition!

Let's start one (No joke)

We can't let the tea baggers have all the fun, can we?

[uhnope]

17. "strangely worded" indeed. Broken English direct from Russian

[justhanginon]

19. Maybe the vast majority of the signers are from the

lower fortyeight states just trying to get rid of the Palin family any way they can.
Like a variation on the old Henny Youngman joke, "take my state please".

[DeadLetterOffice]

65. I just assumed that's what it was.

"Here, Putey-poot, you wanna annex something? Then take Alaska, PLEASE."

[louis-t]

23. Jeez, teabaggers will sign anything.

[christx30]

24. Maybe I can get one of them

to sign my petition to ban the dangerous chemical dihydrogen monoxide.

[MiniMe]

71. H2O?

[christx30]

72. Yes

in the early days of the Internet, there was a joke email going around telling about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. Dumb people would fall for it. I figured the people that want to keep government out of their Medicare would fall for it.

[Guaguacoa]

69. Do you REALLY think that's who

is signing for a red state to leave? I doubt it very seriously. They would be signing for CA to leave.

[defacto7]

27. I would have a long talk

with Mr. Seward if I were them. We bought it fair and square for 2 cents an acre.

[zeemike]

36. Something overlooked.

And it was purchased by the US government with our tax dollars...so we own it and there is no giving it back except by an act of congress as a gift...
But the right wing is doing this to stick a finger in the eye of our country.

[2banon]

41. Lovely memories in the Kenai Peninsula.

Performed in Seward, spent a couple of days there.

On our performance tour included Kodiak Island, Homer, Kenai and some other places. One take away from the trip was getting acquainted with Russian culture as well as Inuit peoples. It was fun, I'd love to go there again. Seward was a trip. Performed at the Sea Life Center, our "stage" area was set up right in front of the Sea Lyon Aquarium.. did a boat tour on fjords, the glaciers are mind blowing, both visually and aurally. I had no idea they make this sort of other worldly moaning sound when "calving" (I think is the term).. The Orcas simply stunning, and other wildlife including the bald headed eagles were plentiful.

[roguevalley]

82. I live on the peninsula. Come back. :D We would be glad to have you. :D

[2banon]

83. ....

[trusty elf]

29. ...............

[IMG][/IMG]

[mnhtnbb]

47. Oops! We're dumbfucks. We can't even manage arranging 6 signs.

[red dog 1]

50. Great post!

Such brilliant tea baggers!

[freshwest]

86. SEXY? They not only misspelled it, they mispronounced it. n/t

[ebbie15644]

30. Can Texas go too?

[Faygo Kid]

33. FReepers love Putin

All those traitorous wingnuts are calling for secession all the time while loudly proclaiming their "patriotism."

Ptooie.

[freshwest]

88. Yes, they found their ticket for 2016:

[SoapBox]

34. Another "Dumbest Thing Ever"

However...can we "secede" Palin's ass to Puty?!?

Oh that's right...she's hiding out in Arizona now.

[Jgarrick]

35. I predict this will be every bit as effective as the petition to build a Death Star.

[jtuck004]

39. Aka - The Teapartymobile... n/t

[pragmatic_dem]

38. lol - fine, we'll take our cruise ships and go home, but Russia has to keep the Palins nt.

[christx30]

43. So now it's time for

the Russian/non-Russian self defense units to show up in Fairbanks and protect the population and their right to self determination from NATO and western interference. Right?

[2banon]

44. I thought this was from the Onion..

hard to believe it's a bonafide story.

[mnhtnbb]

45. Damn! If they take Sarah Palin and we never hear from her again...

done deal.

[MNBrewer]

46. Indexed for inflation since 1867, the cost to be paid to the US Government for Alaska would be

about $120 billion.

[Crowman1979]

49. Be careful what you wish for Teabaggers! Otherwise get ready to be told...

Говорите по-русски ты дебил!

Which is Russian for: Speak Russian you moron!

[Guaguacoa]

70. I doubt seriously it's teabaggers signing it, most likely

russians or blue staters. Think teabaggers want to get rid of a red state?

[rocktivity]

54. Candidate for this year's "You Call This NEWS?" Award

The "You Forgot the 'Not From The Onion' Disclaimer" category.

P.S. What's next -- a petition to give Texas back to Mexico? How about giving Hawaii back to Kenya?


rocktivity

[LisaL]

55. They need a 100 thousands for White House to review their petition.

[Wolf Frankula]

57. It Will Be No Deal

I was part of a committee negotiating the re-sale of Alaska to Russia. Russia agreed to pay $20,000.000 in gold, a substantial profit over the $7,200,000 paid in 1867. They balked at taking Snow Snooki and her family. I was instructed by Mr. Obama, 'Either they take the Palins or it's no deal.' Vladimir Putin told me directly, "There is absolutely NO, that is NO way we will take Snow Snooki, Sarah Palin and her family, No, nyet end of discussion."

There matters end.

Wolf

[Brigid]

64. But . . . but Mr. Putin!

Caribou Barbie has the hots for you!

[red dog 1]

59. K&R...Thanks for posting.

Q....How many tea baggers does it take to change a light bulb?

A....None! When they come across a dim bulb, they run it for Congress.

[bayareaboy]

61. So Calfornia had a Russian fort 2hrs north of San Francisco...

Does that mean we in California can now choose where we want to belong to?

I will opt for Mexico instead of Russia if I can't be American. On the other hand Fort Ross was bought by John Sutter who was originally from Switzerland. So does that mean I can be Euro-trash?

[davidpdx]

67. I refuse to believe this unless there is a corresponding

RT article.

[Fred Sanders]

75. So a vote in Alaska would be to secede and join Russia but a vote in Crimea is annexation?

How does that work?

[Pterodactyl]

76. Well, that's just stupid.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

77. 30,000 is hardly tens of thousands...........

and so what it Alaska aint goin' anywhere..........

[ManiacJoe]

79. I am sure we can come up with a dollar amount

if Russia wants to buy it back.

[blkmusclmachine]

84. I remember when the CONservatives hated Communism. Now, they LOVE Communism. And Daddy Putin, too!

Traitors.

[Auntie Bush]

92. The Indians used to own NYC...should we give that back to them.

I'll bet 100% of them wish they had it back.

[marble falls]

94. Only if Palin stays in Alaska.

[Jefferson23]

96. With more frequency there are OP's where one is sure to find a link to The Onion.

Then you open it, and it's not.

Have these signatures been verified I wonder..not that it is impossible there are 30, 000
clueless people living in any one state.