Police say Pa. woman who disappeared in 2002 after dropping off kids for school found in Fla.

[azurnoir]

Source: Washington Post

A central Pennsylvania woman who mysteriously disappeared after dropping off her children for school 11 years ago has surfaced in Florida and has told police she traveled there on a whim with homeless hitchhikers, slept under bridges and survived by scavenging food and panhandling, authorities said Wednesday.

Brenda Heist, 53, had been declared legally dead, Lititz Borough Police Det. John Schofield said. The detective said he met with her in Florida on Monday and she expressed shame and apologized for what she did to her family.

Heist was going through an amicable divorce in 2002 when she got some bad news about future housing plans, Schofield said. She was crying in a park when some strangers befriended her, then invited her to join them as they began a monthlong hitchhiking journey to south Florida, he said.

Her ex-husband got the courts to declare her legally dead two years ago and he has remarried, Schofield said.






Read more: http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/police-say-pa-woman-who-disappeared-in-2002-after-dropping-off-kids-for-school-found-in-fla/2013/05/01/785e9f60-b279-11e2-9fb1-62de9581c946_story.html

[Myrina]

1. That sounds SO tempting!!

My kiddo's a senior in college.
My job sucks.
I don't have any family and just a few friends here.
The only debt I have is my mortgage - Citi can have the house back, I'll leave the keys with the neighbors.

Hmmm ....

[azurnoir]

2. Did you see her picture at the link

didn't look all too tempting IMO

[Myrina]

4. I didn't say SHE was tempting,

I said 'it' sounds tempting.
And I wouldn't live under a bridge ... I'd plan first so I had a job & a place to crash, however meager. But the 'disappearing and changing identities' thing sounds good right about now.
I'm due for my midlife crisis.

[azurnoir]

5. oh what I meant was that from the picture she wasn't leading a 'lifestyle'

that made the disappearing proposition all to tempting, and I'm not quite sure how one would disappear other than figuratively living under a bridge

[Myrina]

6. Two words: Creative Documentation.

[azurnoir]

7. Lol that could work too

[bemildred]

3. "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." nt

[kimbutgar]

8. Looks like she enjoys a little crystal meth

[MinneapolisMatt]

9. *snort*

I shouldn't laugh, but I did.

[azurnoir]

10. I looked at your title line

and was sort of like

[Hekate]

11. How unbelievably cruel to her children that was

For some reason this just strikes me to my core.

Her photo -- she does not look like a happy person. Nor should she be. She did a terrible thing to her young kids.

[juajen]

13. I doubt we know the whole story.

Give her a break. Some makeup and a hairdo would make a world of difference. If she has been living homeless, that is good reason to look like s**T. Really people, judgmental, much? She also looks scared to me. What is she facing. If she has been living homeless, any ss benefits would be scarce and hard to get, and she has obvious problems.

This should not be typical behavior on here. We do not know why she wanted to leave home in the first place. If she were a man all of you would be a little less critical. After all, when women have children, those children own them for the rest of their lives. Men, not so much.

[Hekate]

15. My comment on her photo has everything to do with the look on her face...

... not cosmetics or the lack of same.

[juajen]

17. I agree, she looks very sad.

I still doubt that we have the whole story, but am going to re-read. I don't remember reading about her leaving something defrosting on the stove. I suppose she should have cooked it before she ran away. I'm telling you, I have felt like running away before, and it hurts knowing that you feel that down.

[raccoon]

14. ITA!

[hedda_foil]

12. She looks like she's either insane or a very long-term drug abuser.

There's a lot more about her that doesn't ring true. For instance, that she worked as a bookkeeper at a car dealership before she disappeared, but was so devastated about not getting housing assistance that she left dinner defrosting on the counter and ran away with a couple of homeless strangers. Not very mentally stable to begin with, to say the least. BTW, here's the pic.

[geek tragedy]

18. Tricksy little hobbitses told us we'd be back within a week, precious. nt

[juajen]

19. If that was the case before she ran away, it should be in court records.

I re-read the article, and stand by my original post. However, there was a long absence and she is probably a different person now, than she was then.

I am struck by something in the article. Was he working when they were getting divorced or not? If so, why was she so devastated when she did not get assistance. The article says she was working, but nothing about monetary support from her husband. What she did was sorta crazy. Perhaps he accused her of being crazy, but all I read in the article was how hard he had after she left. As I said, there is more to this story. She was taking the kids to school, defrosting dinner and was working. Gee, I wonder why she was upset?

We should hear more about this. The story is not very fleshed out. There are a lot of questions in my mind. Perhaps, she did need medical assistance and/or mental assistance, as well as financial assistance. Right now, I feel very sorry for her. Perhaps after more information I will change my mind. I still say there is a rush to judge her.

[kelliekat44]

16. In this case i think she did the children a favor! nt

[byeya]

20. From her photo, I don't think much effort went into looking for her, just sayin'

[Sheldon Cooper]

26. What does your comment mean?

[yellowcanine]

22. She looks like she might be mentally ill.

Messed up for sure.

[struggle4progress]

23. went out for a ride and never went back

[hunter]

24. Why the USA sucks... all you have to do is read some of the comments in this thread.

Mental illness? Drug Addiction?

Welcome to hell.

[leftyladyfrommo]

25. She looks like she's lived a really hard life.

People don't just take off like that for no reason. And the reason could very well be mental illness that lead to homelessness that led to drug addiction.

Sad case for everyone.

[MADem]

27. Because they don't have these problems in other countries....?

You might want to do a little travelling. This isn't just an American thing.

They do have these problems in other countries--even ones with primo health care.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make 'em drink. And some people aren't "qualified" to drink...like the undocumented in UK.

Lovely London: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/aug/12/homeless-poles-rough-sleepers



Gay Paree: http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/dec/18/france-homeless-paris-guardian-weekly



Tokyo: http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/03/01/us-japan-homeless-ageing-idUSBRE92005720130301

South Korea: http://blogs.wsj.com/korearealtime/2011/08/09/seoul-ousts-homeless-from-main-station/


It's a round-the-world problem. Other countries "suck" too when it comes to this matter.

[hunter]

28. It's the "blame the victim..."

... "let them pull themselves up by their own bootstraps" crowd I'm talking about.

You can't use mental illness or substance abuse problems as a reason to dismiss another's pain.

Our U.S. culture often blames a person's misfortune on their own "poor choices." But most commonly misfortune is simply that: misfortune. In other words random shit falling out of the sky. What doesn't fall on you today could fall on you tomorrow.

Nobody gets to choose the most important things in life. Otherwise we'd all be born to good parents with lots of money living in excellent neighborhoods and possessing perfect health in body, mind, and spirit. We would all be good natured happy people.

Most first world societies (the USA is not one) have reached the conclusion that medical problems are usually random things that can happen to anyone and thus they have implemented coherent national health care systems. Some even have strong safety nets supporting those with mental health issues. The truth is that mental health problems are a medical problem just like any other. A brain is a physical organ. Things can go wrong with brains.

There are always going to be people who refuse help. Hell, my grandmother had to be dragged out of the home she owned by police and paramedics when she became a danger to herself and others. She had a good pension, savings, and health insurance but she had the same sort of mental illness that makes other people bag ladies. Without resources she would have been a bag lady.

The best response to a story like this is compassion, a feeling of "There but for the Grace of God go I" or the equivalent phrase in one's own system of ethics.

One might even say, "Crap, there's been times I wanted to run away with hobos in the park..." but then you can quickly go wrong congratulating yourself that you didn't, the same way you can go wrong if you think you are successful because God loves you and you follow "the rules" whatever those rules may be.

We don't need to know how or why the woman got into this state. We often go looking for ways to blame people for their own troubles. It's a way of distancing ourselves from the possibility that bad stuff might happen to us, or to deny our own ethical obligation to care for others who have not been as fortunate as we are.

[MADem]

29. And sometimes, shit just happens. I do know that most people that I associate with don't

believe in "bootstraps" or "blame the victim," however, that said, they do believe that you can't CONTROL other people and force them to do stuff because "It's good for them."

I used to volunteer at a "feeding center" (they don't call them soup kitchens anymore) and I met a ton of people who didn't want help, didn't want mental health medicine, didn't want outreach, didn't want shelter, didn't want first aid/medical care or to be told what to do. They did want a hot meal, hop to it, dole it out, "Get the line moving because we've got things to do," and they weren't playing the "Please, Sir, May I Have Another" card, either. If it was winter and they needed a new coat or shoes, they'd take them like they were owed them, and not be "appreciative" in the slightest.

They didn't regard themselves as victims no matter how much "do gooders" wanted to perceive them as such. Their reality and their PRIORITIES were just different and they resisted and resented any efforts to nudge them in any particular direction. And no one was going to "control" them or tell them how they should live and what was good for them, or not.

You can give them all the "compassion" in the world, and they don't want it or need it. Their attitude is this: You're doing this for your OWN reasons--don't drag me into it.

For all we know, maybe this lady was a member of that club--marching to her own drummer. So long as she's not hurting anyone or causing a societal disruption, there's not a thing anyone can--or really should--do to or for her without her express consent. People can provide those "compassionate" services--or not. It's entirely possible that her attitude won't be affected either way.

The only point I was making is that this kind of thing happens around the world, even in Utopias like, say, Canada, http://www.readersdigest.ca/magazine/who-are-canadas-homeless or homogeneous Sweden. http://rt.com/news/sweden-welfare-homeless-choice/

America doesn't "suck." I found that assertion shallow. America does more than a lot of countries, and less than others, but it's by no means alone in having to deal with a population of homeless people, many who do not want to be helped.

[hunter]

30. If you want "appreciative" get a dog.

I'm one of those people who resist and resent any efforts to nudge me in a particular direction.

This society that reduces most every means of human survival to a common denominator of "money" sucks.

Why should people who have been thrown under the bus, people this society has no "use" for, feel any appreciation?

I think it is possible to build a society where even people with extremely unpleasant personality disorders can stay out of trouble, with minimal intervention, but this society ain't it.

The most troubling thing to me about our society is that the smoothest talking sociopaths, people with no other skills but the manipulation of others and/or the manipulation of an artificial, forcefully imposed economic system (in other words, games for which they write the rules) can accumulate unconscionable wealth and political power as people starve and our earth's environment is destroyed.

On the list of suckage, use of resources, people in prison, the increasing disparity of wealth, yes the USA sucks. Much of what we label "productivity" in our economy is simply evil.

[MADem]

31. Well, I disagree with your view of "America" as the sort of society that reduces everything to money

Maybe you're just hanging with a bad class of people.

Get out more--there are plenty of people who do good "just because." You can either be one of those people, or you can complain that "others" aren't sufficiently altruistic to suit you.

Like attracts like.

Those that can, and want to, do. Those that can't, or won't, sit on their asses and say that everything "sucks."

Just sayin'......

[hunter]

32. I hang with the very best class of altruists.

A very cynical bunch.

When my wife and I met we were urban school teachers.

That was the toughest job I ever had. When my wife was accepted to graduate school in another state I was happy to follow her.

Most everyone in my family, and most everyone in my wife's family are underpaid overworked altruists. On the side we are artists. Or simply starving artists.

The political and economic machine that governs the USA has discovered that altruists will put up with a lot of shit, just as they discovered people will work at Wal-Mart for substandard wages if they are hungry enough.

What this nation needs is a generous welfare system and government jobs that compete directly with the crappiest lowest paying private sector jobs, and we should pay for that with a tax rate that makes it impossible for anyone to accumulate enough wealth to buy our government and set the economic rules in their own favor.

Without strong meds I go into a very dark place. On my own, without meds, I'm a mostly harmless, a slightly paranoid, feral person with plenty of obsessive-compulsive "things to do." At my all-time worst, during one of my breaks from college, I lived in my car in a church parking lot. Fortunately I had a few people looking out for me, the Pastor of the church who let me park my car there, who even offered me a place to stay (which I did not accept), the manager of a fast food place and other people who made sure I didn't starve, the places where I showered and did my laundry, and the folks who kept my computer accounts active even though I wasn't a registered student.

This was many years ago. I think our culture is meaner now. Reagan's "morning in America" was the lights going out. In many ways the nation is still sliding backwards. Clawing back from the plutocracy that which rightfully belongs to all of us isn't easy. Cynicism doesn't mean we stop.