Michelle Obama Lectures Men: 'Y'all need to go talk to each other'

[DonViejo]

Source: Newsweek Magazine



BY ANNA MENTA ON 11/1/17 AT 3:21 PM

Michelle Obama has a message for the men of the world: Do better, try harder and most importantly, communicate more.

On Wednesday, the former first lady sat down with poet Elizabeth Alexander on the second day of the Obama Foundation Summit in Chicago, the first of an annual event. The topic turned to gender, and Obama had some choice words: She noted that women tend to communicate, reflect and support each other better than men—something she feels needs to change.

"Y'all should get you some friends," she laughed, pointing to the men in the audience. "Y'all need to go talk to each other about your stuff, because there's so much of it! Talk about why y'all are the way you are."

In fairness, Obama also addressed the ways she feels women contribute to sexism and male entitlement. "We raise our girls to be strong, and sometimes we take care not to hurt men. And I think we pay for that a little bit," she said. "Are we protecting our men too much, so that they feel a little entitled, a little self-righteous?"

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Read more: http://www.newsweek.com/michelle-obama-lectures-men-698887

[Skittles]

1. Ms. Obama: women routinely take their husbands' names

I wonder if she thinks THAT contributes to that entitled superiority complex?

[InAbLuEsTaTe]

2. Good question!

[Coventina]

3. Don't even get me started....

Even here on DU most think that taking the husband's name is a good thing.
At least, I gather that based on the threads I've seen on the subject.

[monmouth4]

4. Was reading an old archived article on my hometown paper and there was the list of attendees at a

party. It was all Mrs. Clifford, Mrs. Joseph...Awful..

[angstlessk]

8. Try getting a license after being married!

Birth certificate not the same as your social security so NOW you need a marriage license! FOR A FEE.

I call this discrimination against women!

[Coventina]

10. Yep. I refused to change mine. Have never regretted it for a second.

[angstlessk]

11. Glad you had a choice...many earlier did not.

[Coventina]

12. I know. Which is why I'm surprised so many women still choose to do it.

It makes zero sense to me.

[kag]

16. I'll tell you why I did it.

When I married, my husband had two brothers who clearly were never going to have children (for health and other reasons). I had three brothers of my own who, I knew, wanted families--and have since gone on to have them. I knew that my own family name would live on without any help from me, but my husband's name, unless I raised my children with it, would disappear.

Also, I was never that attached to my family name. My father was no hero, and my husband IS the love of my life. I would so much rather share a name with my husband than with my father.

My husband would have been fine with me keeping my name, but I chose to change it for what I thought were good reasons. Never regretted it.

[csziggy]

19. You could have kept your name and still given the children their father's name

That is what my little sister did - she never changed her name, through two marriages. Her four children by her first husband all have their father's name. No sweat, no hassle.

[TheKingofSoup]

14. Whose name?

Not to disempower anybody, but it strikes me that women who refuse their husband's name are usually insisting on keeping their father's. So applause for the independent spirit, but patronymic chauvinism remains intact.

[angstlessk]

15. So how far back do you suggest women go for the origin of their name?

[TheKingofSoup]

18. Going backward rarely helps, does it?

Perhaps everybody should get to choose their own name at some point, and just keep it.

[Coventina]

20. The artist Judy Chicago changed her name to reflect her birthplace.

To avoid the Patriarchy.

Not such a bad idea.

[whathehell]

5. Wow..Guess it's all their fault, then, huh?

We are clearly complicit in our own abuse since many take their husband's names... Seriously, it was probably our idea to "routinely" give our kids his last name too!..You can blame the whole fucking Patriarchy on women, for sure!

[angstlessk]

9. There was a time when we had NO choice but to take our husband's name

The church would do all the paperwork...and viola...I am Mrs.so and so

[whathehell]

17. Yes, that's true, n/t

[whathehell]

6. Mr. Skittles: Children are "routinely" given their husband's last names

I guess that was our idea too.

[SkyDaddy7]

21. I'm a guy & I think...

That is a good question. I would think Michelle Obama would say it certainly plays a role. The tradition of the woman taking the man's name come's from when women belonged to their fathers until he gives her away to another man, her husband, and now she is his so she takes his name.

My wife took my name 25yrs ago but it was done without us even discussing it. If we had it to do over again maybe I would take her name? Not sure exactly what we would do...To be honest I would probably just do what my wife would want because I honestly would not care.

...I do have a question though...When two people marry regardless of who the two are what options do they have? Please tell me it is not law that married couples share a last name?

...They could decide to both use one of their names like so many women have done taking their husband's name.

...Or they could decide not to change their names at all?

I was just curious...Could they come up with a completely new last name?

[Skittles]

22. women still have their dads "give them away" to their husbands

YUCK

I don't think women realize how much they participate in the charade.

[Yupster]

23. Sure

Anyone can legally change his/her name.

[Corvo Bianco]

7. Amen.

[Miigwech]

13. Men need to talk to one another as

long as it isn't in the 'locker room' (right, trump)