CDC to America: There Is No Zombie Apocalypse
Source: Time
Despite a string of grisly incidents throughout North America, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention declared late last week that there is no evidence of a coming Zombie Apocalypse.
The CDC, based in the Atlanta area, has previously issued promotional materials on how to survive a zombie attack, but these were all a tongue in cheek campaign to engage new audiences with preparedness messages, according to a new post on the agencys website. Following a series of ghastly incidents in Canada, Florida, New Jersey, Washington and Maryland, the organization was actually forced to address (mostly online) concerns about back-from-the-dead monsters feasting on the flesh of the living.
CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms), agency spokesperson David Daigle told The Huffington Post on Friday.
Zombie talk began May 26 in Florida after 31-year-old Miami resident Rudy Eugene stripped off all his clothes, attacked a homeless man and attempted to chew off his face. Eugene, naked and growling, only ceased his attack after police shot him several times, according to eyewitnesses.
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Read more: http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/06/04/cdc-to-america-there-is-no-zombie-apocalypse/
Liberal Veteran
(22,239 posts)Roland99
(53,342 posts)I don't have any techno albums that I can use as weapons. Im doomed!
may3rd
(593 posts)Hassin Bin Sober
(26,337 posts)onehandle
(51,122 posts)But they do not discount the possibility.
freshwest
(53,661 posts)And devour all the Eloi.
I believe each of these two groups fall into the two dominant political parties.
Republicans are Morlocks, with their vampire capitalists, and ready to drag off their kill and gnaw the bones.
The Democrats are Eloi, hoping for love and peace and not quite sure what those gruesome noises are.
That's not a perfect analogy, but I still think we need to watch out.
Maybe I better quit the SciFi.
onehandle
(51,122 posts)TrogL
(32,822 posts)TygrBright
(20,763 posts)freshwest
(53,661 posts)Not pulling away from Paranoid Plaza while there's a chance of the dreaded Mittbot2012 moving into the White House. He drinks the blood of people, I tell ya!
slackmaster
(60,567 posts)leftyohiolib
(5,917 posts)he found a way to make the dead go to work creating more dead people for steve's work force of the dead
yurbud
(39,405 posts)cosmicone
(11,014 posts)they are the zombies.
freshwest
(53,661 posts)Try to reason with them and knock them down with facts or logic, but it doesn't work on them. They crawl away for a dose of Rush and Beck and then return to make incoherent picket signs and threaten to kill you because you are a DemonRat liberal.
And remember, the hero of the movie was a black man killed just before the plague was over with... I think they expect this to happen.
rayofreason
(2,259 posts)well there have been a lot of crazy stories in the last couple of weeks!!
William Seger
(10,779 posts)</conspiracytheory>
Sancho
(9,070 posts)if there's no Zombie Apocalypse, then I may have to go to plan B, a Pirate Invasion.
slackmaster
(60,567 posts)awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)beware what you wish for, me matey... I mean fellow DUer.
zbdent
(35,392 posts)Zombies would have looked better ...
AnnieK401
(541 posts)You're not fooling anyone CDC. Have you seen the Governor of our state?
MrScorpio
(73,631 posts)Sounds like a cover-up of the real problem to me.
It's really a Cannibal Holocaust, isn't it?
Evasporque
(2,133 posts)zombie...
Solly Mack
(90,785 posts)Deep13
(39,154 posts)4th law of robotics
(6,801 posts)SomeGuyInEagan
(1,515 posts)Just sayin'.
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)stock up on the twinkies.
TrogL
(32,822 posts)I suspect somebody there is in deep doodoo for the original "tongue in cheek" campaign.
Nevertheless, to even see the issue addressed as a for-real issue just gets me going.
may3rd
(593 posts)exercises their stand your ground rights
I'm sure a righteous beat down was served
HooptieWagon
(17,064 posts)AsahinaKimi
(20,776 posts)Alice on our side.....
freshwest
(53,661 posts)AsahinaKimi
(20,776 posts)freshwest
(53,661 posts)The storyline in Wikepedia is fairly complex, too. Thanks for the images.