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babylonsister

(171,073 posts)
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 11:44 AM Dec 2017

Stop Telling Me Im Angry. I Know. I Wish You Were.

https://johnpavlovitz.com/2017/12/15/stop-telling-im-angry-know-wish/


Stop Telling Me I’m Angry. I Know. I Wish You Were.
December 15, 2017 / John Pavlovitz


Dear Friend,

Thank you for your note to let me know you’re worried about me, that you’re concerned about my health—that you’re not sure that I realize I’m coming across as really angry lately.

Your assessment is correct.
I am angry.
I’m sorry.

I can imagine I’m not all that fun to be around right now, and that from time to time my words come across as combative or abrasive. I’m probably more than a bit of a downer lately and I apologize.

You’re going to have to bear with me, as I haven’t been sleeping well for about a year or so. Admittedly I’m not at my best these days, so you’ll need to forgive me. I’m chronically overtired. I’m exhausted from having to give all the sh*ts about people that you’re supposed to be giving—along with my own.

I’m worn out from keeping up on legislation and watching hearings and staying on top of details and remembering deadlines and imploring action—while you go about your day as if such things are an annoyance, is if they are a disruption of your plan, as if the expiration date for my outrage has long come and gone.

I am absolutely burnt out from trying to make my voice loud enough to counteract not only the bad people’s incredible volume—but your deafening silence. Both of these things are doing similar damage right now, sadly.

Believe me, I understand that my activism is a problem for you. Please know that your inactivism is similarly problematic for me. It’s part of the reason I am as angry as I am; because I’m not only having to fight against those who seem furiously bent on hurting people—I’m having to fight against those who don’t seem give enough of a damn that they are doing so, to say anything.

Look, I get it, I really do. It’s difficult to see so much bad news, to fully face the relentless flood of terrible, to try and wrap your brain around seemingly boundless cruelty around you. It’s tiresome to spend so much time with a closed fist. I know it’s even a pain in the rear end to endure the continual rantings of people like me on your news feed and in your timeline and across the dinner table and in the break room.

I’m tired of me too.
I’m sick of the fight too.
I’m sick of the sound of my own voice.
I’d rather not be doing this either.
I’d much rather prefer to just enjoy life, to forget about it all, to only post pictures of puppies and my kids, and to simply ignore all that “political garbage.”
But that is what privilege looks like; to even believe I have such an option, to have the great luxury of living without urgency because I can seemingly shield myself from it all.

That is what the bad people are counting on. They’re counting on good people who are too tired, too apathetic, too selfish, or to oblivious to sustain their outrage. I am not going to give that gift to them.

As long as they’re fully invested in putting people through hell, I’m going to be as invested in pushing back against it.
I think the people I love are worth it.
I think you and the people you love are worth it.
I think people I’ll never meet are worth it.

And that’s the rub here: love will often look a lot like rage, as it fiercely fights on behalf of those who are being attacked.

So yes, angry is not all that I am, but I am rightly angry.

And it would be really helpful if we could carry the load of outrage right now.

That would actually be a source of rest and joy and breath.

Friend, if you really want me to be less angry, you might try being a little more angry.

I am angry, friend.

I wish you were angry too.
42 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Stop Telling Me Im Angry. I Know. I Wish You Were. (Original Post) babylonsister Dec 2017 OP
Kick and rec. Yes this is all of us. NT The Polack MSgt Dec 2017 #1
crap I am with you. bdamomma Dec 2017 #2
K&R secondwind Dec 2017 #3
Yes, I'm so pissed off I can't see straight. alarimer Dec 2017 #4
Anger put in action pazzyanne Dec 2017 #5
very good point... dhill926 Dec 2017 #6
THIS. EXACTLY relayerbob Dec 2017 #7
Welcome to DU, pazzyanne! calimary Dec 2017 #21
Hear, Hear! smirkymonkey Dec 2017 #8
"wish you were angry too." Duppers Dec 2017 #9
Just what repubs want DownriverDem Dec 2017 #10
Awesome post. hamsterjill Dec 2017 #11
Me to. Been angry for a year and have cut off a lot of people on FB. notdarkyet Dec 2017 #20
I've lost friends that I've had for a lifetime. hamsterjill Dec 2017 #29
Thanks for posting this lordsummerisle Dec 2017 #32
Marie Antoinette Bill or Steve Mnuchin Tax Relief Bill for Wealthy Alice11111 Dec 2017 #12
This is one of my anger points. Saddling my kids and grandchildren with notdarkyet Dec 2017 #22
busy running her Chinese import company. I look at my children Alice11111 Dec 2017 #26
Excellent! PatSeg Dec 2017 #13
Me too! Reminds me of Peter Finch in the movie Network, Im mad as going to take Pepsidog Dec 2017 #14
Peter Finch. calimary Dec 2017 #19
Thanks for the correction. It was a brilliant and prescient movie Pepsidog Dec 2017 #30
If you're angry and willing to do something about it .. ananda Dec 2017 #15
Been this way since March 19, 2003 shadowmayor Dec 2017 #16
Post removed Post removed Dec 2017 #17
Welcome to DU, robin650! calimary Dec 2017 #23
Kick, kick, kick! CrispyQ Dec 2017 #18
Angry as hell! lark Dec 2017 #24
My sentiments exactly. hay rick Dec 2017 #25
+1000000000 treestar Dec 2017 #40
Excellent! mia Dec 2017 #27
My only objection is the 4th line: I'm sorry. nocoincidences Dec 2017 #28
I share the same feelings, but I've had them since 12/12/00. robertpaulsen Dec 2017 #31
Bush versus Gore decision. Yes. PatrickforO Dec 2017 #41
That's the key, Patrick. Strength in numbers. robertpaulsen Dec 2017 #42
Anger is one our four genetically inherited emotions. Reasoned anger is a show of self esteem. ancianita Dec 2017 #33
Beautiful Perseus Dec 2017 #34
It is an anger that can and should be put to use. TNNurse Dec 2017 #35
It is time to start working on future issues "UBI" that will determine 2020. CK_John Dec 2017 #36
yes handmade34 Dec 2017 #37
This was very well said. PatrickforO Dec 2017 #38
K&R treestar Dec 2017 #39

bdamomma

(63,877 posts)
2. crap I am with you.
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 11:55 AM
Dec 2017
That is what the bad people are counting on. They’re counting on good people who are too tired, too apathetic, too selfish, or to oblivious to sustain their outrage. I am not going to give that gift to them.

I won't give them that gift either.


Never do this

pazzyanne

(6,556 posts)
5. Anger put in action
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 12:27 PM
Dec 2017

can more things in positive directions. It is when we turn it inside us that it wreaks havoc on our bodies. I won't do that to myself because of the orange disgrace that perches in the White House.

calimary

(81,322 posts)
21. Welcome to DU, pazzyanne!
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 02:14 PM
Dec 2017

Terrific point you make here! YES, we're angry! But we need to focus that anger on the deserving. NOT on each other.

Duppers

(28,125 posts)
9. "wish you were angry too."
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 01:09 PM
Dec 2017

Wow!! I'd LOVE to sent this to a few people I know!! I've been chastised for sending them articles that I'm positive they did not know about. I finally just stopped communicating with them, the damn pretend liberal Dems.

How can anyone call themselves a liberal and be apathetic!



DownriverDem

(6,229 posts)
10. Just what repubs want
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 01:18 PM
Dec 2017

For us to stop being angry. I know I've lost a lot of so called friends on FB, because I don't see their posts anymore. I just don't care either. Anyone who doesn't get it or likes to point out they don't like politics is just an idiot. Too bad those kinds of folks vote.

notdarkyet

(2,226 posts)
20. Me to. Been angry for a year and have cut off a lot of people on FB.
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 02:13 PM
Dec 2017

Evil wins when good people do nothing.

hamsterjill

(15,222 posts)
29. I've lost friends that I've had for a lifetime.
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 03:12 PM
Dec 2017

It does hurt, but I think it hurt more to realize what these friends actually stood for, believed in, and condoned. I realized just how very different my thinking was, and I'm sorry, but as arrogant as it may sound, I'm the better person when compared to someone who supports Trump. I realized my own compassion, tolerance and desire for good by facing those others' racism, hate and misogyny. So, in all honesty, I think I've grown as a person and I think I'm better off without those types in my inner circle.

As to anger, I just can't imagine anyone with a working brain can watch a press conference like Trump held this morning condemning the FBI and not put 2 and 2 together and see that he's trying to cast doubt on the abilities and ethics of the FBI because it is the FBI that is investigating him and his Russia connections. But each and every Trumpster that I know will justify his actions some way - ANY way they have to in order to continue to fool themselves that they made the right decision in supporting him.

The man is a traitor and it is as plain as day. Anyone who doesn't see that only does not see it because they refuse to see it.

You're absolutely correct in that evil wins when good people do nothing. So, we've got to stay angry enough to make sure that we continue to work for change. Anger, as bad as it can be, is a great motivator.

Alice11111

(5,730 posts)
12. Marie Antoinette Bill or Steve Mnuchin Tax Relief Bill for Wealthy
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 01:33 PM
Dec 2017

I'm Pissed at people who put their heads in the sand Re Tax Lie Bill. This is huge!!!

They kicked out/gagged our main voice exposing it, just in time, and they have railroaded it through.

This is the biggest fraud yet on the middle, poor and working classes.

It is not so much the corporate tax cut. Some of that is needed to keep businesses from locating their tax bades in Ireland and other places. However, corporations have acknowledged those savings WON'T be going to workers or wage increases. It is all of the other things that get little attention. Taxing grad students on money they don't really earn, disallowing their education deductions, while allowing parents who pay private school tuition for wealthy kids to deduct it. Isn't it bad enough that our country saddled so many kids with a hundred thousand in debt at relatively high percentage rates, for big banks, who borrowed the money at almost nothing to loan.

In my state, and many blue states, for small businesses, because of disallowing state and local tax deductions, that amounts to a 9pc tax on the TOP. Income tax applies to your NET, if you lose money, you aren't taxed on what you lose. This will tax losses for small businesses. For many that 9pc is the entire profit margin. Bye, bye innovation. It's, back to "working for the man," to make the rich richer. However, if you don't get rich on the backs of the working poor, fear not, you can inherit pretty much without tax consequencers, through intergenerational wealth transfers, up to $22 million, more if it is passed to both spouses and kids, 22 x whatever "x," before they even have to worry about fancy trusts and other deductions.

The bill is 500 pages, so I can't go over but a tidbit here.
Trump calls it a Jobs Bill, which is his biggest LIE yet, as Janet Yellen, Fed Reserve Chair, hinted at in her last speech.

Who will pay for this $1.5 trillion tax break for rich. Ooops, over the 10 year period, tax those with the least more, and the 2 year olds and 4 year olds of today will carry heavy debilitating burdens. Plus, as it increases, do away with medicare, Social security, etc.

Another sad day to be an American.

notdarkyet

(2,226 posts)
22. This is one of my anger points. Saddling my kids and grandchildren with
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 02:21 PM
Dec 2017

Massive debt. There will be no more “American Dream” just another huckster lie from the dumbest. Dumbos kids though will never have to work a day in their lives. Where is Ivanka anyway? What is she doing to earn her 180 thou, plus her staff. Does she pay taxes on that money?

Alice11111

(5,730 posts)
26. busy running her Chinese import company. I look at my children
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 02:39 PM
Dec 2017

and 2 year old grandchildren. So smart, fun, funny. Everyone works hard.

I see the rich I know, no taxes. One example, My cousin will inherit a $1 less than 1 billion $$, excluding property, businesses, trusts, and more. Most will come under exemptions with being spread between his kids ,spouse, etc. He and his wife are both educated, her an MD. Neither worked. Nannies, cooks, housekeepers, but, oh, the sacrifices they have made, doing so many special things with their kids, remodeling & redecorating their house every few years, upgrading their pools. Oh, if others of lesser means had 1/10 the time or resources, to spend w their small children.

They have been so screwed over by tbe Clintons and Obama on taxes. They believe that. Just think what they could have done.

Another friend of years was telling me they might have to cut back if there was no tax cut. They have paid 0 in taxes since Bush was elected. Live on muni bond interest at a lifestyle, only the top .05pc know. At least they are Dems, but Hillary Haters.

I thought a few real examples of the beneficiaries of the
Tax bill would help.

Pepsidog

(6,254 posts)
14. Me too! Reminds me of Peter Finch in the movie Network, Im mad as going to take
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 01:46 PM
Dec 2017

Last edited Fri Dec 15, 2017, 03:42 PM - Edit history (1)

this anymore” he yells slamming the desk as a fictional news anchor. I think many of us feel this way and those who aren’t mad as hell need to start paying attention to what is happening to this country. Hopefully, 2018 will be the year of the great “Awakening “ or rather “Reckoning “ where the great silent majority of decent, fair-minded Americans take their anger out at the ballot box and take America back from the fanatical right who are rapidly sending our society into a death spiral. Winning elections is the only way to stamp out the pestilence that grips the radical right who disproportionately influence our weak minded lawmakers and embicile president.

calimary

(81,322 posts)
19. Peter Finch.
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 02:13 PM
Dec 2017

That's one of my all-time favorite movies. I STILL can't believe how prescient it was, and I just rewatched it a few weeks ago.

Faye Dunaway as the scheming network TV programming executive who wanted shows that "articulate the popular rage", and Peter Finch, as the anchorman Howard Beale who went off the deep end and exhorted his viewers to go open their windows and stick their heads out and shout "I'm as MAD as HELL and I'm NOT gonna take it anymore!" both got best lead actor Oscars. Finch's Oscar was awarded posthumously. William Holden (as the news division head) and Robert Duvall (as the weasely corporate overlord's lackey) were both nominated in the supporting actor category. I think they should ALL have won. Some of the best performances I've ever seen! I think the movie should have gotten Best Picture, too. Fucking BRILLIANT, the whole thing! But it got beaten for that honor by "Rocky."

ananda

(28,866 posts)
15. If you're angry and willing to do something about it ..
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 01:51 PM
Dec 2017

.. you're in a good place!

Anger is always justified when Reeps are in charge!

shadowmayor

(1,325 posts)
16. Been this way since March 19, 2003
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 01:59 PM
Dec 2017

Since our invasion of Iraq, I have been furious. After spending 2005 in Iraq I'm still at a loss for words. Shrub was the start, and herr drumpf is the icing on the cake. Cannot stand many of my fellow Americans and loathe our elected leadership. And no - I wasn't defending our freedoms or the Constitution, I was just another pawn in the broken empire that is America.

What in the hell did the people of Iraq ever do to the people of the United States?

Response to babylonsister (Original post)

calimary

(81,322 posts)
23. Welcome to DU, robin650!
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 02:22 PM
Dec 2017

Most intriguing post. I wish I understood its contents (she said, admitting what a Luddite she still is, in the year 2017).

CrispyQ

(36,478 posts)
18. Kick, kick, kick!
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 02:10 PM
Dec 2017

I want to send this to every one of my friends who marched at the woman's march & are no longer politically engaged, because, 1) it's too depressing (buckle up, it's gonna get worse), 2) it won't make any difference (then why did you march?), 3) I just don't have time to call my reps/senators (bullshit), 4) fill in the blank (more bullshit).



lark

(23,108 posts)
24. Angry as hell!
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 02:24 PM
Dec 2017

Any patriotic clear thinking caring person would feel the same. Our country is being wrecked for the benefit of Russia and oligarchs who don't give a fuck about anything other than turning us all into their slaves/serfs and stealing all our assets. Well, actually it's worse than that. They sadly hate rape laws and think all women are fair game and they are fine with killing any brown/black person for no reason whatsoever. They are inhuman, cruel and greedy asse and they are in control of destroying our government.

Drumpf is dogging FBI, and he's also trying to institute a new spy agency that he personally controls. It's Hitlers SS he wants to recreate. He's following HItler's' plans so far, I cringe to think what comes next if Mueller doesn't fix this.

hay rick

(7,624 posts)
25. My sentiments exactly.
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 02:33 PM
Dec 2017

Democracy requires a critical mass of engaged citizens. The disdain of so many people for politics has poisonous consequences. People who are satisfied with being comfortable consumers are traveling down a road that leads from being citizens to being subjects. Our society is more than half-way there.

treestar

(82,383 posts)
40. +1000000000
Sat Dec 16, 2017, 11:37 AM
Dec 2017

I used to have this friend who was very smug about it: he boasted that he never voted! That's just being a sheep in the long run. People who act like they are "above" politics don't realize that they are the problem.

nocoincidences

(2,220 posts)
28. My only objection is the 4th line: I'm sorry.
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 03:02 PM
Dec 2017

I am NOT a bit sorry if you are uncomfortable with my growing anger.

I am sorry we have a bag of orange shit in the WH eating junkfood and watching TV all day.

I am very sorry about your perpetual state of denial about that.

robertpaulsen

(8,632 posts)
31. I share the same feelings, but I've had them since 12/12/00.
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 06:52 PM
Dec 2017

Which was only exacerbated by 9/11/01.

Which reached a fever peak 3/19/03.

Which briefly simmered down 11/4/08.

Which was negated by 11/2/10.

Which rose back to fever peak 11/8/16.

PatrickforO

(14,578 posts)
41. Bush versus Gore decision. Yes.
Sat Dec 16, 2017, 11:38 AM
Dec 2017

The Democrats sent statesman Warren Christopher down to Florida. Christopher was dedicated to making sure the votes were counted and the process fair.

The Republicans? They send James Baker, who was dedicated to winning.

They say good guys finish last, Robert. How can good people regain control of this nation in the face of avarice, ambition and lust for power?

That's our problem now.

The only solution I see is through recruiting more people to the Resist movement, and educating those people how to be responsible citizens, i.e. hold those they elect accountable by paying attention to what they do and squawking when they are doing it wrong.

robertpaulsen

(8,632 posts)
42. That's the key, Patrick. Strength in numbers.
Sat Dec 16, 2017, 01:22 PM
Dec 2017

They are bad. They are greedy and unprincipled. But WE outnumber them. We always have, but it's so easy for people to take things for granted or be apathetic. The more united the Resist movement is, the less chance they have to get away with their crimes.

 

Perseus

(4,341 posts)
34. Beautiful
Sat Dec 16, 2017, 07:56 AM
Dec 2017

I have been having a hard time explaining to some people why I feel they we I do, and my frustration that all they want to do is put their heads in the sand to ignore what is going on, but you came with a way for me to say it, and if you don't mind, I will pass it around.

TNNurse

(6,927 posts)
35. It is an anger that can and should be put to use.
Sat Dec 16, 2017, 08:48 AM
Dec 2017

If you are not angry, you are either uninformed or...wait for it...complicit.

handmade34

(22,756 posts)
37. yes
Sat Dec 16, 2017, 10:32 AM
Dec 2017

"I can imagine I’m not all that fun to be around right now..." I am angry and I wish more people were... I want us all out in the streets, making phone calls writing letters, organizing....

I want us all to be in this together...

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