What I Saw Inside Roy Moore's Barn Burner
http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a14415471/roy-moore-last-rally/...You try. Seriously, you do. You give the benefit of the doubt to people because, what the hell, they’re the same species as you are, and they have the right to their opinions, and they can certainly vote into office whomever the hell they want. But sometimes, there is absolutely no way to keep faith with the truth and with your readers without pointing out that circumstances have led you into a hall of funhouse mirrors.
On Monday night, in Jordan’s Activity Barn, they had the last rally on behalf of Judge Roy Moore, the Republican candidate in Tuesday’s special election to replace Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III in the United States Senate. The whole event was lousy with pestiferous Bible-banging. Both reality and American history were fed into individual woodchippers. The theme of the night’s devotions was that Nobody Comes Into Alabama And Tells Us How To Vote. This theme was emphasized by the night’s roster of speakers, which included: a carbuncled vandal from Virginia (Steve Bannon); a failed congressional candidate from Wisconsin (Paul Nehlen); a disgraced sheriff from Wisconsin (David Clarke, Jr.), and a sitting congressman from Texas (Louie Gohmert). They all took turns bashing all the rank outsiders who came into Alabama to campaign for Doug Jones, the Democratic nominee.
Up was down. Down was up. Thomas Paine, of all people, was enlisted in the cause of an out-and-out theocrat, and the person who did so quoted him from the wrong pamphlet anyway. Abraham Lincoln was invoked repeatedly on behalf of a neo-Confederate who speculated that the Constitution might be improved by removing the amendments passed immediately after the Civil War. Moore was defended against the allegations of child molestation by an old Army buddy who told a story about how they all were taken to a brothel in Vietnam one night and Moore refused to pay for sex with prostitutes who may have been underage. Res ipse loquitur, y’all, and the adoring crowd drank it all down like so much apple brandy.
At the risk of sounding like every liberal Yankee bogeyman flitting through the minds of the assembled, this event was completely nuts. It was a naked appeal to unreason. It was the Rose Parade of empowered ignorance. It was the Royal Wedding of Stupid and Mean. It was the Celebration of the Lizard Brain. The Id was in the saddle, and it was riding the crowd, and the barker at this particular carnival of fools was quite happy to bring all the suckers in out of the Alabama dark and into the freak show he’d created.
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along with Bannon et al. constitute people coming to Alabama and telling them who to vote for? 
Or does that only apply to Democrats coming into the state and telling them who to vote for?
I imagine it's the latter, since Republicans don't recognize their own hypocrisy.
That would be their answer. 
in Alabama? Sixteen, maybe? Don't forget, it's a different culture down there. 
Dating girls who haven't reached puberty is the accepted norm, or at least it was when Ol' Roy was on the prowl. And he'd always ask their mothers for permission, too. That's a huge plus for Ol' Roy!
Fantastically apt and impressive description of these cultish imbeciles.
That's AL-born and lifelong native Doug Jones, BTW. He got both his BS and JD from AL universities.
Moore went to some left-wing liberal Yankee college in NEW YORK. 
Note to future GOP candidates: When you schedule a rally, and Louie Gohmert is one of your big "draws", Things Have Gotten Off On The Wrong Foot.
Yes, a glass of Chardonnay would go nicely with a little Charles Pierce binge reading. 
