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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsCashiers angrily told me "Merry Christmas" in a smug and self righteous way
I live in the bible belt, Texas, and in fact I live in a county that has been dubbed, Big Red. They call it Big Red because it is the most conservative large urban county in America. Throughout my whole life, I have had plenty of cashiers or people in stores say to me, "Merry Christmas," cheerfully with a smile and a wave as I finished my business with them and walked away. It never bothered me. I would usually smile and wave back and go on about my business.
However, last year it was different.
Last year, there were multiple cashiers, as I was checking out with them and nearing the end of our business transaction, they would look me dead in the eyes, and without a smile, sternly tell me, "and you have a merry Christmas." It was weird. Like the look in their eyes was not happy not a true warm wish of seasons greeting, it was like they gained some type of power now that Trump told them it was ok to say "Merry Christmas" again. And for the first time in my liberal life I was actually angry that they said it, more so that they said it like that, because I felt like it came from a place of hate. They were smug and angry all in one.
One cashier, was doing that to everyone in her line, there was about 5 or 6 people. Except there was a man in front of me that was of middle eastern dissent. When he got to her, she didn't say it to him. She told everyone in the line "Merry Christmas," except for him. I remember feeling furious about it. So when it was my turn, and she said it to me, I told her to stick it up her ass.
Anyway, this was just my observation from last year. Ironically, also, it was only cashiers at stores, like the grocery store or department store, that were doing this. Has anyone else noticed this, as well?
janterry
(4,429 posts)With glee
GreatCaesarsGhost
(8,585 posts)Would be a good retort.
edit: oops I meant to reply to the OP
janterry
(4,429 posts)I agree with your answer, too
Maeve
(42,297 posts)Occassionally adding "and a good Kwanzaa, happy New Year and a blessed Festival of Lights"
NastyRiffraff
(12,448 posts)Add "Happy Solstice."
Merlot
(9,696 posts)That should do it!
Jim Lane
(11,175 posts)I'm no more a pagan or a Wiccan than I am a Christian but that's the way I recall genuine believers using it.
I like it because it sounds even more esoteric than "Happy Solstice".
Ken Burch
(50,254 posts)n/t.
safeinOhio
(32,736 posts)The bell ringer lady broke out in a big laugh yesterday when I said that..
Renew Deal
(81,883 posts)And the newspaper
treestar
(82,383 posts)does not want customers treated shabbily.
CrispyQ
(36,540 posts)I always answer "Merry Christmas!" with "And a Happy New Year!"
Fred Sanders
(23,946 posts)is what they deserve. Now if we could only get them to move to their own theocratic country.
bdamomma
(63,931 posts)nt
Sailor65x1
(554 posts)500 times a day. Maybe she doesn't like being forced to say it by her employer. Maybe she figured she could take a break with the guy who stood a good chance of not caring about hearing it. This season is particularly hard on retail employees and maybe we should be cutting them some slack
Telling her to "Stick it up her ass?" Really? Come on. Were you proud of that?
LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)"Maybe she figured she could take a break with the guy who stood a good chance of not caring about hearing..."
But of course that's the narrative you promote rather. Clever... regardless of the petulant irrelevance of whether you're proud of it or not...
Sailor65x1
(554 posts)But, if the cashier were acting with the motivations the OP ascribed to her, then she would have made it a point TO say it to the man, not avoid saying it.
As far as proud, that's pretty simple; the OP is talking about treating this retail empoyee like shit simply because the OP decided he or she knew the cashier's motivations? The way we treat people who are in service occupations has always been considered one of the best indicators of our character.
As far as my narrative, that's pretty simple also. I deal in logic and data. The OP reached the conclusion that the man was Middle Eastern. It stands to reason the cashier reached the same conclusion. Such reason extends to the statistical probability that the man wouldn't care to hear it. Put yourself behind the counter; say you had a man standing in front of you wearing a Yarmulke. Would you take this into account and say something other than Merry Christmas, or would you ignore the obvious and say it anyway for fear of the "Narrative?:
Hortensis
(58,785 posts)I disagree that checkout lines are a proper place to engage in religious and cultural warfare. If it's offered by some ill-mannered ideologue, smother it with a peace blanket.
Since we moved to the Bible Belt, we'll respond to overtly religious people, and there are a LOT of them here, with an assumption of good will and return it with thank-yous and same-to-yous without repeating their phrases. It's plain old happy holidays most of the rest of the time.
Shell Seas, with us it was our closest supermarket. Rurally raised checkers were obviously distressed when ownership changed and they were supposed to know the names of heathen vegetables, because they were blatently smugly claiming they didn't months after the changeover. I went along for some while, inviting them to smell the raw ginger (same as grandma's ginger tea!) and talking about my favorite salad recipes for Napa cabbage. But eventually I had enough and refused to tell them the names when they claimed ignorance. Instead, it was me who looked them in the eyes and told them it was past time to go to the produce department and learn their jobs. They didn't like it one bit, but at least it put an end to it when I came through.
anneboleyn
(5,611 posts)phrase just seems totally overblown. If a waitress or cashier said merry Christmas to us I wouldnt think the service person was setting out to harass me as if he or she had any clue what I believed. If ANYTHING the owner or possibly a manager directed them to say it. Treating cashiers in this way seems very problematic to me. They work for pennies and constantly take shit from customers who consider them THE decision person for the entire company. They are powerless and nowadays they dont get health-care or anything else.
Mariana
(14,861 posts)I used to live in Texas and while I was there, I was on the receiving end of an utterly nasty, hateful, snarling "Merry CHRISTmas!" more than once. Maybe you haven't noticed, but conservatives have become considerably more rude and openly hateful since Trump was elected. It is entirely possible that the cashier is a conservative Christian Trump lover who watches Fox News and listens to RW radio, and the OP interpreted the intent correctly.
treestar
(82,383 posts)that indicated hostile intent.
Shell_Seas
(3,336 posts)It only means that the Cashier believed all Christians were white and look American....
Sailor65x1
(554 posts)It means that you made assumptions about what the cashier thought or believed, and you treated her badly in response to your assumptions.
Shell_Seas
(3,336 posts)SharonClark
(10,014 posts)'look American'.
Shell_Seas
(3,336 posts)SharonClark
(10,014 posts)Or are you just making this all up because you are bored and you thought it was good click-bait?
Shell_Seas
(3,336 posts)anneboleyn
(5,611 posts)bdamomma
(63,931 posts)FiveGoodMen
(20,018 posts)He's a monster and a danger and a big fucking baby.
But he's not the only bad guy we're dealing with.
bdamomma
(63,931 posts)nt
anneboleyn
(5,611 posts)ollie10
(2,091 posts)LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)This year, I've had two opportunities so far to respond to the idiots with "all holidays matter..."
Shell_Seas
(3,336 posts)SharonClark
(10,014 posts)melman
(7,681 posts)That's nice.
anneboleyn
(5,611 posts)2naSalit
(86,843 posts)told to say it and were obviously not into it..?
Sailor65x1
(554 posts)How often that does turn out to be exactly the case. It's also very unfair to those employees.
Sanity Claws
(21,860 posts)I worked retail when I was in college and the holidays were tough at times to handle.
While stores may not have as many in-store customers as before, they have fewer people on staff and many are on-call with no set hours. I imagine some people are feeling tired and resentful.
anneboleyn
(5,611 posts)NCTraveler
(30,481 posts)Without this beast of an issue rearing it's ugly head. Then again, I've been without cable for years and that is where this war is promoted and for the most part takes place. I'm far from a hermit and just can't find anyone to fight me on this hot topic.
You could be reading this way wrong.
"Last year, there were multiple cashiers, as I was checking out with them and nearing the end of our business transaction, they would look me dead in the eyes, and without a smile, sternly tell me, "and you have a merry Christmas." It was weird. Like the look in their eyes was not happy not a true warm wish of seasons greeting, it was like they gained some type of power now that Trump told them it was ok to say "Merry Christmas" again. And for the first time in my liberal life I was actually angry that they said it, more so that they said it like that, because I felt like it came from a place of hate. They were smug and angry all in one."
They are probably severely underpaid, overworked, and are coming into the busiest time of the year. A time of year when their customer base is not at their best. People often get stressed during the holidays and take it out on people they view as "less than". Additionally, these decisions are more often than not made a little further up the chain than cashier.
Girard442
(6,086 posts)..."Have a good holiday." This year though, I'm not saying "Merry Christmas" to anyone now that Trump has shat on it.
50 Shades Of Blue
(10,064 posts)I live in a very blue area and haven't noticed any aggressive Merry Christmassing. If I experienced it, I'd wish them a Happy Saturnalia in return.
Baitball Blogger
(46,769 posts)I say Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays interchangeably. But I don't like being bullied by anyone.
SharonClark
(10,014 posts)Baitball Blogger
(46,769 posts)I'm not here to judge how someone responds to bullying.
marybourg
(12,642 posts)community, last year the supermarket cashiers did not utter any holiday greetings at all, nor was the store decorated, nor was Christmas music played, although Halloween and Thanksgiving had been heavily promoted. It was as though the right wing had destroyed Christmas last year. Have seen and heard nothing holiday-ish so far this year. Happily!
There is some excellent Christmas music out there, but they sure don't play it in any stores I've been in. Gawd does that music suck. But you know, I noticed a similar thing. Yesterday I was shopping in a store I used to work in. Last year and the year before, when I worked there, they started playing the shitty Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving. Yesterday, they were playing the somewhat less shitty regular music.
Roland99
(53,342 posts)Mariana
(14,861 posts)and shut the fuck up about whatever holidays may be going on. Shit, Christmas isn't for for three weeks yet! Does anyone go around saying "Have a happy Independence Day" in the middle of June?
Drahthaardogs
(6,843 posts)Get to the end of the street.
This is such a little thing and we have such more important issues.
Shell_Seas
(3,336 posts)SharonClark
(10,014 posts)Shell_Seas
(3,336 posts)Which wasn't the point of this. I was just curious if anyone else had notice a shift in aggressive attitudes with the "We can say Merry Christmas" again, because Trump said so.
anneboleyn
(5,611 posts)wouldnt occur to you that IF they were saying merry Christmas in an unhappy manner that they werent trying to be bullies they were ordered by an owner or store manager to say it. Seems very obvious. Cashiers work hard for small amounts of money and have zero benefits these days. They are not setting policies.
obnoxiousdrunk
(2,910 posts)Demsrule86
(68,715 posts)was in college. I probably wasn't very enthusiastic about 'merry christmas' either...although, we were taught not to use merry christmas but happy holidays... so as not to offend the non-Christians...this was before the militant faux Christians. The bottom line is maybe the person had a bad day. And as you noted this is not worth worrying about. I live in Ohio which went for Trump and have experienced none of this...in fact there seems to be a great deal of buyers remorse since the tax cut and the ACA attacks.
Response to Shell_Seas (Original post)
blogslut This message was self-deleted by its author.
WhiskeyGrinder
(22,467 posts)"Merry Christmas"? But I thought you said they already said Merry Christmas?
Cashiers. Gaining power. Okay.
Telling a cashier to stick it up their ass. What a hero.
treestar
(82,383 posts)that's OK, right?
It was not about cashiers gaining power, but right-wingers gaining power. The way she said is showed she was a right-winger being a jerk about it. That's how it was described.
WhiskeyGrinder
(22,467 posts)JFC, listen to yourself, my people.
treestar
(82,383 posts)You have the right not to believe the story, but the story was not told the way people are interpreting it.
SharonClark
(10,014 posts)Maybe the cashiers were unhappy to say it but were forced to by their boss?
Maybe the cashiers didn't want to say it to a middle eastern man because they thought it might be offensive to him?
"So when it was my turn, and she said it to me, I told her to stick it up her ass". Hum, there may have been a better response.
Shell_Seas
(3,336 posts)Wounded Bear
(58,743 posts)WhiskeyGrinder
(22,467 posts)Tipperary
(6,930 posts)Telling a retail person to stick it up their ass during this stressful time of year (or any time) is just mean.
WhiskeyGrinder
(22,467 posts)anneboleyn
(5,611 posts)Pachamama
(16,887 posts)And that "gleeful look in their eye" is really them frustrated and angered that they are supposed to say that and try to sound happy and smile for the 150th time that day when they are not feeling the spirit of the holidays in light of their barely making it on minimum wage and increased costs of living?
Just like when you are told as a kid to give a hug and kiss to the creepy family friend?
Just saying....I really wouldn't read too much into this...
DBoon
(22,403 posts)And believes the cashiers are a front in the war against christmas.
And maybe the cashiers are grumpy because they are tired of boss' BS
sarisataka
(18,821 posts)To stick it up her ass
Way to strike a blow for the common folk
*golf clap*
WhiskeyGrinder
(22,467 posts)I can't stop laughing at this post.
GallopingGhost
(2,404 posts)to piss them off, put on your best Mad Hatter voice and say, in a sing-song voice, "And a very Merry Un-Birthday......to youuuuuuuuuuuu!!!"
I've always said Merry Christmas to those I know for certain believe as I do, and Happy Holidays otherwise.
Trump is such a ignorant hateful ass.
BoneyardDem
(1,202 posts)happy holidays, Merry Christmas or just have a good day...and I follow suit and I truly hope it doesn't sound like it's all worn thin and is contrived. Whatever the greeting, is just not that important to me to attempt the disingenuous, I just want to give a decent and non forced retort and move on. Lots of shit going on, a greeting or parting statement is not that big of a deal to me.
SDJay
(1,089 posts)I was in a part of the country where the perceived victimization of the privileged majority was rampant. I was on a business trip and wanted to grab a little gift for a client at the last minute. The nasty, Kim Davis-like cashier could see that I was obviously not from around there and said MERRY CHRISTMAS in quite a confrontational way.
I smiled, said thanks, and wished her a very Happy Kwanzaa.
The utterly confused look on her face was priceless. I'm pretty sure she spent the rest of the day asking people about Kwanzaa.
MuseRider
(34,135 posts)I too live in a pretty red area but not so bad considering most of the rest of Kansas.
I have had to learn how to deal with some of that and I am so sorry this happened to you.
Pick your battles, this "war on Christmas" is, as we all know, just plain stupid. The only people who were upset with Happy Holidays were the "special little snowflakes" who are only happy if they can force you to their will or treat you like jerks if you do not do what they want. At least it started that way but it seems to me now that they just do it because it gives them power and jollies.
I just smile and say it back like I am happy and gay and in the holiday spirit. It may not help anything like my own bile rising but nothing makes them feel worse than picking a target that will not go along with the game. If someone wished you Happy Hannukah would you say Happy Hannukah back? I do because it makes me happy that others celebrate differently and it is good for us all.
I have lived by my Grandfather's rules for many years and this is one of the best. Never let them get to you, shine it on and let them stew.
YMMV
GulfCoast66
(11,949 posts)Because if you told her to shove it up her ass for wishing you a Merry Christmas, I imagine you would have slugged her had she had the nerve to say God Bless You
Personally I cannot get my mind around being angry about being Merry Christmased with questionable motives.
Egnever
(21,506 posts)are we really so weak? This sort of thing makes us tell people to shove it up their ass?
What a sad state we have come to.
FSogol
(45,555 posts)can that get the cashier in federal trouble?
"good will towards men"
inwiththenew
(972 posts)Or maybe have a Snickers.
Shell_Seas
(3,336 posts)JHB
(37,163 posts)FSogol
(45,555 posts)Your story says more about you, than them.
Tipperary
(6,930 posts)I cannot imagine trying to figure out what is in their head as they do so. I never was much good at mind reading anyway. I take it at face value, say thank you same to you, and move on with my day. I generally go about my day in a happy way, hoping the attitude will be returned. Usually it is.
Mariana
(14,861 posts)I refused to say anything about any holidays to the customers. "Thank you for shopping at XYZ! Have a lovely day!" A few times a day during December some customer would give me the nasty snarling "Merry CHRISTmas!" and I would just smile big and say nothing. Now, I wasn't afraid of losing that job, if I were I might have done differently, but I sure don't like being bullied and dammit, why do people insist on babbling about it when it's still three weeks away?
mitch96
(13,929 posts)really knocks 'em off their self righteous indignation position
m..
I have noticed it. They are almost defiant about it. So weird. I like your response.
nadine_mn
(3,702 posts)That smug look? Probably fucking terror.
Customers are incredibly insane this time of year....and will SCREAM at cashiers for saying happy holidays instead of merry Christmas. They will refuse to be waited on by devil worshippers (because they are too ignorant to differentiate a Star of David from a pentagram) or by a person of color.
I have worked as a cashier and as crazy and made up as some stories seem...I would say most are true. Never underestimate the craziness of a customer.
And people with no power in their own lives (for whatever reason) really seem to get off on abusing people who can do nothing else but stand there and smile and say have a nice day.
With Trump in office, I guarantee it wasn't the CASHIERS that felt emboldened to inflict holiday cheer...it was CUSTOMERS. Customers screaming that it's Trumps America now and you will say Merry Christmas. Customers complaining to corporate about rude "racist" or "terrorist" cashiers that won't wish them Merry Christmas even though it's the "law".
irisblue
(33,036 posts)steve2470
(37,457 posts)ProfessorGAC
(65,248 posts). . ."oh, it's christmas already? Must have slipped my mind."
That would take them totally off guard, but since it's not nasty, what could they say?
get the red out
(13,468 posts)A butcher back in the Kroger meat department handed me the item I had requested THEN gave me a steely look and said "Merry Christmas" in a cold tone that had to be a test to see if I was good or evil. I said "you too", and went on my way. But ,damn, it was COLD! I live in Kentucky. Lots of RW shit for brains people here too.
elehhhhna
(32,076 posts)When it happens this year I think you should say wow that sounds more like a fuck you than a merry Christmas so get to know Jesus
Or say happy holy days
ollie10
(2,091 posts)Without being smug and self-righteous?
Laffy Kat
(16,389 posts)No wonder. Give em a break, let it go.
steve2470
(37,457 posts)When I walk into a restaurant and am insincerely greeted by the people at the front desk, I don't reply back with a snotty attitude. I just say thanks and go to my table. They HAVE to say it.
lagomorph777
(30,613 posts)Bradshaw3
(7,533 posts)Oh yeah, we have that every day.
lagomorph777
(30,613 posts)Initech
(100,108 posts)Eh... I lost my train of thought.
The empressof all
(29,098 posts)It either appeases, confuses or scares the shit out of them.....
randr
(12,417 posts)and they are resentful?
demmiblue
(36,903 posts)Dreamer Tatum
(10,926 posts)and a Happy Bullshit.
DFW
(54,448 posts)Europe isn't hung up on this issue.
I don't know if anyone here remembers who Father Divine was (good piece of American history to check out), but his organization still owned some property in Philadelphia when I was going to college there. My two roommates and I often ate there, since it was good food and within all our budgets (my two roommates, friends from my senior year of high school, were ghetto guys on full scholarships, and not exactly swimming in it). The women (only women) working in the restaurant there were somewhat elderly, and always said "thank you father and mother." There was always a place set at the head of one table in case Father Divine decided to pay a visit from the hereafter, and was hungry.
Anyway, if you think that people saying Merry Christmas is a little off, try hearing "thank you father and mother" while keeping a straight face.
steve2470
(37,457 posts)anneboleyn
(5,611 posts)cashiers and workers etc just go with it. We shouldnt act like assholes with working people who get shit all the time as it is!
Small world DFW! This makes me smile!
DFW
(54,448 posts)I don't even think the place was still serving meals by the time I graduated. The women serving there were holdovers from the cult, which had its heyday in the 1930s and 1940s. It provided them with shelter in their "hotels," and food. They were sort of like cult nuns, all unofficially married to Father Divine. One time when I was there with my two roommates, Mother Divine, the virgin (presumably still) bride of Father Divine came in with her "secretarial staff" of five or six women in tow, decked out in fur and jewelry, paraded around the dining room while the poor women working in the restaurant looked on in awe as if the Virgin Mary had popped in and asked for the drink named after her.
The food WAS good, and copious. I don't know if I'd go as far as "incredible," but it was definitely the best bargain in the neighborhood. Being West Philadelphia in 1970, though, that isn't saying much. My roommates and I called the place "Daddy D's" and even started saying "thank you father and mother" around the dorm as a joke. Some of our classmates who did not frequent the same establishments, and had never heard the expression, thought the three of us had gone totally loony.
nini
(16,672 posts)I don't get the look in their eyes thing at all.
The Muslim thing is one thing but I'm not getting the snark unless they'd know you thought it was stupid to even care what anyone says.
Glamrock
(11,803 posts)I like, "and a happy orgy of capitalist consumerism to you too! "
pintobean
(18,101 posts)Texasgal
(17,048 posts)Does it take much to respond with kindness?
This post makes me want to go out of my way to be kind to people. Hopefully I'll take up for your nasty comment.
UGH. Merry Christmas indeed.
Tipperary
(6,930 posts)Treating people poorly when they are paid to serve you is just wrong. I had a friend years ago and I was horrified when I learned that she was consistently rude to servers, retail people and the like. I told her I though it rather cowardly (and rude) since they had no recourse but to take it. As far as dotards influence on anyone, he simply will never have that kind of power over me that I would change my way of interacting with people.
EarthFirst
(2,905 posts)lindysalsagal
(20,747 posts)I told her she was being brainwashed by a cult.
Hey-she started it.
Skittles
(153,226 posts)but I was mistaken
lindysalsagal
(20,747 posts)Skittles
(153,226 posts)elfin
(6,262 posts)If there is a protest by the cashier, say "Sorry, I misspoke because I am Jewish and you look Jewish too - have you checked your DNA?"
Jake Stern
(3,145 posts)I always give retail workers slack, especially around this time of year. Know how it feels to have a customer a few inches from your face in a spittle flecked rage because the toy their little miracle wants is out of stock.
Or to be told by the boss that "Even when the customer's wrong, they're right" and " I've got fifty applications on my desk right now, you're not irreplaceable. "
tammywammy
(26,582 posts)I don't think I've ever found a cashier to be "smug and self righteous".
If I had seen this I would have just thought you were another asshole the retail worker had to deal with that day. I remember working retail during the holidays and assholes were a dime a dozen.
BTW, I've never heard of Tarrant County as being referred to as "big red", but I found one article when I Googled it so there's that.
anneboleyn
(5,611 posts)and there will be one very overworked cashier still working a long line and one person to help all of the people screwing up the automated checkouts. I never go to Walmart but they are one of the very few that still use three or four cashiers, and we dont live in a rural area we live near a big city.
Your interpretation makes zero sense to me. I dont think for a second that cashiers at a store are singling you out for some sort of hostile treatment by uttering a common holiday phrase (how the hell would they have any idea what beliefs you do/dont hold?)
If anything theyve been told by their employer that they MUST say it to every customer. That would explain the glum looks. Its hardly a phrase so controversial that only Trump supporters say it.
SWBTATTReg
(22,176 posts)crazy time of the year for everyone, all self-induced...which is the sad part. Xmas and Holidays are supposed to be a time of peace and joy...this is what the pursuit of the almighty dollar has gained us...sad...
Response to Shell_Seas (Original post)
sl8 This message was self-deleted by its author.
pnwmom
(109,009 posts)They'll get the message.
Trueblue Texan
(2,447 posts)...and told the clerks who helped me and checked out my purchases, "Merry Christmas!" They told me thank you and the same to me. I then told them I was an Atheist and I celebrate Christmas and I hoped they didn't believe the lie that Atheists have a war on Christmas. Really, every Atheist I know celebrates Christmas--it just means something different for them than the Christians. I wish Christians would act like Christians. I still don't want to be one, but really... they are the meanest people I know.
lunasun
(21,646 posts)of experiencing that all year long IMO it is very obvious as you say from a normal transaction Perhaps the little power they desire over another to try and bring another person down at thier clerk job is all they have in their pathetic life because at the point of purchase you are thier captive.
Amazon doesn't judge my front door
Sunlei
(22,651 posts)maxrandb
(15,364 posts)Say about 150 items, then I'd fish around my pockets and say; "darn I left my wallet in the car" walk out and never go back