With permission from Art Buchwalds estate, the Kansas City Star publishes his Watergate-era column

[kpete]

Oh yeah? Well, what about Chappaquiddick?
BY ART BUCHWALD
Republished courtesy of the estate of Art Buchwald
DECEMBER 01, 2017 07:22 PM
UPDATED DECEMBER 02, 2017 10:52 AM
WASHINGTON

These are difficult times for people who are defending the Nixon administration. No matter where they go they are attacked by pseudo-liberals, McGovern lovers, heterosexual constitutionalists and paranoid John Dean believers.

As a public service, I am printing instant responses for loyal Nixonites when they are attacked at a party. Please cut it out and carry it in your pocket.

1. Everyone does it.

2. What about Chappaquiddick?

3. A President can’t keep track of everything his staff does.

4. The press is blowing the whole thing up.

5. Whatever Nixon did was for national security.

6. The Democrats are sore because they lost the election.

7. Are you going to believe a rat like John Dean or the president of the United States?

8. Wait till all the facts come out.

9. What about Chappaquiddick?

10. If you impeach Nixon, you get Agnew.

11. The only thing wrong with Watergate is they got caught.

12. What about Daniel Ellsberg stealing the Pentagon Papers?

13. It happens in Europe all the time.

14. People would be against Nixon no matter what he did.

15. I’d rather have a crook in the White House than a fool.

16. LBJ used to read FBI reports every night.

17. What’s the big deal about finding out what your opposition is up to?

18. The president was too busy running the country to know what was going on.

19. What about Chappaquiddick?

20. People that live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

21. McGovern would have lost anyway.

22. Maybe the Committee for the Re-Election of the President when a little too far, but they were just a bunch of eager kids.

23. I’m not for breaking the law, but sometimes you have to do it to save the country.

24. Nixon made a mistake. He’s only human.

25. Do you realize what Watergate is doing to the dollar abroad?

26. What about Harry Truman and the deep freeze scandal?

27. Franklin D. Roosevelt did a lot of worse things.

28. I’m sick and tired of hearing about Watergate and so is everyone else.

29. This thing should be tried in the courts and not on TV.

30. When Nixon gives his explanation of what happened there are going to be a lot of people in this country with egg on their faces.

31. My country right or wrong.

32. What about Chappaquiddick?

33. I think the people who make all this fuss about Watergate should be shot.

34. If the Democrats had the money they would have done the same thing.

35. I never did trust Haldeman and Ehrlichman.

36. If you say one more word about Watergate I’ll punch you in the nose.

A. If the person is bigger than you: “If you say one more word about Watergate I’m leaving this house.”

B. If it’s your own house and the person is bigger than you: “What about Chappaquiddick?”

http://www.kansascity.com/opinion/opn-columns-blogs/syndicated-columnists/article187662578.html

[tblue37]

1. K&R for visibility. (And they still bring up Chappaquidick to deflect from GOP crimes!) nt

[mopinko]

2. this is really good.

i got knocked the other day on fb for "spouting liberal talking points" lol.

[dalton99a]

3. A keeper, indeed

[KT2000]

4. Glad they did that -

so the R's have always been slippery on their principles.

[malaise]

5. 15. Id rather have a crook in the White House than a fool

They can't ask this one this time around - he's both

[ffr]

6. Get thee to the greatest page!

That's a gold nugget.

[LongTomH]

7. Same mix of propaganda devices used by Trump supporters today:

Whataboutism, trolling, discrediting the news media, etc.

[George II]

8. Art Buchwald was a genius.

[Stuart G]

9. Perhaps, just perhaps,..someone might explain..." Chappaquiddick

I really don't have the stomach, some newer people really don't know what that is....

Thank You...for your consideration...

[lastlib]

10. Short answer for those needing it...:

It was the Benghazi/e-mails of the 1970s......

'nuff said.

[Nitram]

12. Not really. Bernghazi was a completely fake scandal.

Chappaquiddick was real. But you are correct in that it got a great deal more mileage than a horse that has been beaten to death should get.

[lastlib]

13. No. It was falsely made into something it wasn't....

by repuglikans eager to smear Edward Kennedy. Yes, Mary Jo Kopechne died; yes, Sen. Kennedy's recklessness probably caused her death. But there is no evidence to show that it was a nefarious (criminal) effort to cover up something, as repukes tried to claim.

[Nitram]

16. Kennedy panicked and ran without calling the police or emergency services.

Yes, the right wing insinuated that he was having an affair with Kopechne. Maybe he was and maybe he wasn't. With the Kennedy Brothers it isn't surprising many people suspected he was. But Kennedy was guilty of being involved in her death and running instead of helping. There was room for doubt. Benghazi was a crime made out of whole cloth.

[Nevernose]

18. Thats a disservice to Clinton and the dead woman

Clinton wasn’t directly responsible for Benghazi (responsible in a “The buck stops here way” maybe), nor was there anything wrong with the emails other than stupidity.

Ted Kennedy got in a drunk driving accident and his friend/employee died. He waited ten hours to report it, probably so the alcohol could leave his system.

Ted had an accident and made stupid decisions before and after; Clinton didn’t do anything wrong, and certainly not of that magnitude.

The similarities, I guess, would be in the insane GOP conspiracy theories afterwards. Ted Kennedy was out on the road that night because he was delivering pizza for Comet Pizza! And stupid shit like that.

(Also: the new autocorrect sucks)

[lastlib]

24. My point was that the "scandals" were made-up GOPee bullsh1t.

Beyond that, I make no claims.

[SergeStorms]

20. I remember the great National Lampoon parody advertisement.

"If Ted Kennedy had been driving a Volkswagen, he would have been President today".

They got in big trouble for that one! It was true though. Volkswagen Beetles were so airtight they floated, at least for a while.

Lord, I miss the old NatLamp. Off to the College bookstore every month for some of the best satire/comedy on Earth, to this day!

[Nitram]

21. That, and the "If you don't buy this magazine we'll shoot this dog."

The following issue, "We shot the dog."

[SergeStorms]

23. I still have a copy of that one.

Along with a few others. I have the Vietnamese Baby Book, which is just sick. I laughed my ass off when I saw the dog on the cover of that magazine. What a brilliant strategy to sell magazines. The humor was just cutting edge, and SO irreverent. I loved every word. I'm a sick puppy anyway.

[Nitram]

27. Me too!

I just couldn't believe P.J. O'Rourke went over to the dark side.

[SergeStorms]

28. He always was a little right of center to begin with.

Then when he got a few coins in his pocket he became Mr. greed and avarice, just like the rest of them. Money does strange things to some people.

[Nitram]

11. I read Bookwald religiously back in the day.

He is missed.

[SergeStorms]

17. Same here.

I never missed him. I think his column was on Thursdays in our local newspaper, and I always looked forward to Thursdays. He was a truly great satirical political writer.

[Demsrule86]

14. I save that thanks...kind of funny we hear the same comments even here.

[SergeStorms]

15. All of those sound hauntingly familiar.

Just plug in "Hillary's emails, Hillary and Benghazi, Hillary and Russia, Hillary and Human Trafficking," etc. etc. etc. and nothing has changed with the Republicans in 45 years.

"There is nothing new under the Sun"......from some religious book or another.

[Hekate]

19. The more things change, the more they remain the same

Art Buchwald was a treasure.

[gibraltar72]

22. Can only imagine

what Art and Molly would write about Il Douchey!

[Hoosier]

25. THANKS

This is genius.

[mcar]

26. The more things change, the more they stay the same

[niyad]

29. k and r, plus a change, plus c'est la mme chose