Trump's Xmas Speech:

[L. Coyote]

Link to tweet

[Chipper Chat]

1. "And I am much richer and wiser than those three fake kings."

"Especially the one with the almond eyes. He'll never be upgraded at my Jerusalem Trump Marriott."

[ProudLib72]

2. I don't know how Mary got pregnant! Don't look at me!

We were just having a little fun behind the stalls at the camel market. I mean, come on it was 2000 years ago and she was 14 at the time! What man in his right mind would not have gone after that nice little piece of tail?


Mary's version:

I had brought some camels to market to sell. I was minding my own business when this fat, orange man came up from behind me and put his hand on my nether region. His other hand wrapped around me and touched my breast. At first I couldn't move, I was so shocked. Then I started to fight back, but he whispered he would kill me if I didn't do as he asked. He took me behind one of the tents where no one would see him. Then he penetrated me.

[L. Coyote]

3. I read it on the internet, it must be true.

And Frederick Douglas saw the whole thing.