I don't know why, but I have this yearning to tell you here: My husband died Friday night
I know you all aren't my best friends, but I've been here since 2001 and I feel like I know a lot of you.
LOL, some of you know me because I locked your LBN threads in the past.
My hubby had cancer of the throat caused by the HPV virus. I need for everyone who has kids or knows children the appropriate age to get that immunization shot!
Although we had insurance ( Obamacare!) we were still sucked dry financially. Between the deductibles for two years and other expenses we had to pull money out of our meager IRA. Oh, and Robert was out of work for a year.
Cancer does that. I hope I go fast so my children aren't burdened with what I've gone through.
If anyone wants to put in a dime, my two girls started a fund for me.
https://www.youcaring.com/nancybrown-1009256
This was taken one week before he died. He put up his collar to hide the discolored radiation burns and lump.
= new reply since forum marked as read
My first cousin, who is like a sister to me, just lost her husband after a four year ordeal with metastatic renal cancer. She is in a very similar situation and still better off than many facing this because they had insurance.
I hope that you are heartened by an outpouring of support... 
What a nice picture; he looked like a very kind man.
He is at peace now.
and all who knew and loved Robert. May only the good memories fill your heart and bring you comfort and peace
I hope your memories give you comfort.
Thank you for sharing.
OKNancy. Thank you for sharing. And I am glad you have your two girls to comfort you.
for you, him, your family. Sounds as though you have been through hell. Sincere condolences, Nancy. 
this ordeal. May you be surronded by love and light and I hope you will find all the support you need at this time when your heart is aching. Your DU friends are here for you at every hour.
time of sorrow and may the love you have for each other ease the pain of grief.
Thank you for your thread. I have not seen much empathy here of late and that has bummed me out. You have a nice showing of support here and it's good, in my opinion, to see you tapping into it. I hope it gives you comfort.
I'll kick in a few $$ and let us know if there's anything else we can do for you.
A few dimes on the way
My hubby died 5 months ago.
Be prepared to wake up every day wondering if it was all a dream. I still do, but now it is about every other or third day.
If you are familiar with hurricane bands, this is the best way I can describe it: grief comes in bands like the winds and rain of a hurricane, with no warning and sometimes no trigger. You could be sitting in a dentists chair or at a kids party singing happy birthday to a ten year old, and suddenly the grief and tears overwhelm you. Then, again, suddenly over. As the months go by, the time between bands lengthens. I may now go four or five days tear free.
Stay busy busy busy. I also read audio books to keep my mind busy.
Hope some or any of this helps.
Cancer sucks.
Deepest sympathies, Nancy.
Beyond this vale of tears we find peace.
And Nancy - maybe not 'best friends' but surely some of your biggest fans.
I'm saddened to hear this.
KMOD sends her regards and is very sad for your loss.
I lost my mom to cancer. It's the worst.
I just followed the link. Hold on tight to your happy memories.
Please don't feel bad about sharing here. We're a (slightly) dysfunctional family, but we're here for you.
Cherish the good memories every day.
Very sad to read abt. the loss of your dear husband.
I agree with you, when it is looking like your time is coming, GO!
I have lost two members of my immediate family (which was small to begin with) to cancer back to back.
Mother in 2002 and a sibling in 2004 (only 40 years old), so yes I do know your pain and please know that you are never alone!
I am sorry to read you are wiped out financially. That is just another aspect of your story that really bothers me. This is so unacceptable and I am glad you shared it with us.
Healing vibes for you OKNancy!
I remember you from moderator days and you did a great job. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Marta & I are in.
OS
He's an elegant-looking man! A
on your profound loss OKNancy. Cancer is a menace and it pales in comparison to the financial destruction that comes with it. Rest in peace, Robert.
I know a bit about what it's like, as I lost my wife to ovarian cancer just over two months ago.
Please be kind to yourself, and take things slowly. You have some very hard times ahead. You might consider checking into the End of Life Issues board here on DU. I did during my wife's illness, and they are an enormously empathetic and supportive group.
Losing a loved one is the most difficult pain one can endure in a lifetime. May you and your girls find a road to peace through happy memories and small joys in life.
Losing a spouse is a terrible loss. I am so glad you have your girls to support you and they have you. Very nice picture of your husband.
I am awfully sorry . Hoping that we here at DU provide a tiny bit of comfort for your big loss. My hugs and heart to you..
He looks like such a gentle, caring person. A very kind face. Please accept my condolences for your loss.
So sorry for your loss and for the financial burden it put on your family. It's hard enough dealing with a serious illness without having to worry about how to pay the rent on top of it all
I am so sorry OKNancy
I swear our damn healthcare system is BARBARIC.
NOBODY should have to suffer through something like this worrying about money.
He was a fine-looking guy and I know you miss him like Hell.
I'm so sorry.
so much together. I'm so sorry for your loss.
What a hard road you have been through. Hope you have many memories to cherish.
(Yes, I will help, you have always been a decent friend here).
For your loss. I wish you peace at this moment.
You have my deep sympathies.
We are like a family, and sharing the loss helps.. I hope your daughters are close by to help you through the arduous task ahead.. You are never truly "prepared" for such a loss..
Thank you for letting us, your friends, know.
Your love has gone where all hurts are healed -- may his name be remembered as a blessing to you and your family.
We argue amongst ourselves sometimes, but when it's time to come together, we do. This is the first place I turned when I lost my husband to cancer over 7 years ago. We're here for you when you need to talk, cry, or just rant about how unfair the damn universe can be sometimes. Trust me on this one. For a while ( I still do it from time to time), you'll look at people that are absolutely abhorrent, and think, "My husband died from cancer, while that (your epithet here) is still walking around." Right now, it's the only purpose Trump serves for me.
Take care of yourself, Nancy. Let yourself mourn. Feel what you're feeling. Don't "choke back the tears" because you think it might make someone uncomfortable...let them go. Your friends will understand, and fuck everybody else. It gets better.
Wishing you comfort and peace, and may your husband rest easy now.
I'm also terribly sorry for all the financial pain this has caused you. It is beyond wrong that it works that way in this country.
My heart goes out to a dear DU friend. Thanks for letting us know! Peace to your family and to Robert's spirit.
Thank you for sharing this with us all. Let all these strong, broad, sturdy pairs of shoulders help buoy you up. You don't grieve alone. Don't forget what our own Skittles once said about this place (which I always found to be helpful and comforting): "Somebody's always here."
He looks like a very nice guy - handsome, too. I also lost my Dad to throat cancer and I send you sympathy and support.
keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
i'm sorry for what the both of you had to go through
this is a lovely picture you've posted of him.
Although I knew neither you, or your loving husband personally, we're all part of a family here at DU.
I believe John Donne said it best; “Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee.”
We're all part of a greater whole, Nancy. My deepest sympathy for your and your family's loss.
A friend died from esophageal cancer almost three years ago. He was a wonderfully kind soul, the type of person
who brought people together. Made music. Ran a farm with a music building on it where concerts were hosted.
He hadn't been retired from his day job as a social worker 3 months when they discovered the cancer.
There is no rhyme or reason to why so many of these good people are struck down by horrible disease--and then
screwed over by the messed up "health care" system in this country--and horrible, awful, scum bags walk
around until they're 90 something whatever. It just isn't fair.
Please take care of yourself. As others have said, there is always someone here at DU to listen.
That's a lovely picture of your husband.
So terribly sorry to hear this. Please hang on tightly.
My daughter (27 yo) has HPV virus.
We wished we would have had her vaccinated.
