Betsy DeVos Says She Did Math on Trumps Tax Plan and It Will Save Nation Eleventy Krillion

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a ringing endorsement from the Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos said on Thursday that she did the math on Donald Trump’s tax plan and that she estimates it will save the United States roughly eleventy krillion dollars.

“I took out a pencil and paper and figured it out the old-fashioned way,” DeVos told reporters. “I wound up going through a lot of paper, because eleventy krillion has ten hundredteen zeroes.”

DeVos stressed that the eleventy-krillion figure was actually a conservative estimate. “The exact number was between eleventy and ninety-quelve, but I rounded down to eleventy,” she said.

The Education Secretary said that the national debt, which currently stands at more than twenty trillion dollars, would be greatly reduced by the eleventy-krillion-dollar windfall.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/betsy-devos-says-she-did-math-on-trumps-tax-plan-and-it-will-save-nation-eleventy-krillion?mbid=nl_Borowitz%2009282017%20Experimental&CNDID=25394153&spMailingID=12031453&spUserID=MTMzMTgyNjg0NzM5S0&spJobID=1242468483&spReportId=MTI0MjQ2ODQ4MwS2

[ProudLib72]

1. She is not very well versed in slideruleology is she?

I just did the calculations, and it's 11 bazillion samolians. It's easy peasy. Take the square of the current debt and divide by Dotard's weight in stone. That gives you 3.14159, which is an approximation of pi, which Dotard then eats. Then you multiply that times the number of Dotard's twitter followers who are Russian bots, and that gives you negative 273.15 Celsius. Divide that by negative 10,994 meters (the depth of the Mariana trench, where I wish Dotard was). Multiply that by the cube root of Conway's lies (which is a yuge number I'm telling ya), get fifteen evangelicals to pray over the that number for ten minutes, and you come up with 11 bazillion samolians.

[BigmanPigman]

3. That seems about right from my rough calculations.

[Ilsa]

6. Hahahaha. You need to send that to Andy Borowitz!

I bet he'd love it. Maybe use it as an addendum or update.

[maveric]

2. WTF is she talking about?

It's nonsensical gibber.

[Brother Buzz]

8. Andy Borowitz delivers nonsensical gibber? That's unpossible

How 'bout them Indians?

[janterry]

4. Eleventy Krillion of her OWN money

not the governments money.

She needs to recalculate, with her "I work for the public interest hat on" not from her I'm a billionaire who want to serve my own interests perspective.............

[Takket]

5. lol nice

Devos: What is the area of a circle?

Smart person: Pi-R-squared

Devos: No silly, pie are round! Now, what is the area of a circle?

Smart person: *Givers her keys to play with*

[smirkymonkey]

7. Another fine job by Borowitz!

DeVos has to be one of the most odious people in that administration. I despise her.

[dembotoz]

9. It that more than a Brazilian dollars?