The "Mad Pooper" on the loose in Colorado Springs..

[kentuck]

http://deadspin.com/a-jogger-dubbed-the-mad-pooper-is-terrorizing-colorad-1818521863

<snip>
There’s no use trying to skirt around this, so let’s cut straight to the chase: A Colorado Springs woman has been taking big craps in front of someone’s house for a few weeks now. They’re calling her the Mad Pooper and she won’t stop. The cops are involved. It appears to be some sort of revenge pooping. I hope you enjoy this report from local CBS outlet KKTV as much as I did.

<snip>
The goofy guy who said, “It’s just not a natural thing we do in our society, to drop your trousers and, uh, and relieve yourself right there when you know there’s people around,” really cut to the heart of the thing. We called the Colorado Springs Police Department, who confirmed that this is indeed a real case being handled by the CSPD’s Falcon Division.

<snip>
As the TV report indicated, the woman has also been sighted pooping in a Walgreens and in nearby backyards. The presence of bathrooms close by and her propensity for repeat turds clearly show that she doesn’t care about signs, warnings, completing the rest of her runs with mudbutt, or the stigma of a society unenamored with joggers taking drive-by shits in and around their properties. She even brings her own toilet paper. The only questions that remain are mechanical and motivational.

Is she a world-class crapper, who can shit dozens of times a day and therefore needs the variety? Is she motivated by some animal instinct to befoul as much of the city as physiologically possible? Why doesn’t she pick more prominent targets? Is the Colorado Springs PD ready for retaliatory poopings? What did the Budde family do to her? Is this revenge?

..more

[kentuck]

1. In the Age of Trump, this is perfectly normal.

Nothing to see here.

[LuckyCharms]

2. It's Kellyanne. n/t

[Throck]

3. Just another attention starved asshole.

[dewsgirl]

4. Last summer, my husband and I were on a trip and stuck in a traffic jam on I-75 a woman got out

Of her car, squatted, lifted her dress and took a poop right there on the hwy, every last one of us were rendered speechless, probably one of the most shocking moments of my life.

[kentuck]

6. What part of I-75? Florida, Ohio, or Tennessee?

Or Georgia?

[dewsgirl]

19. It was GA near Athens, it was pure insanity

It was like impossible look away, surreal.

[Voltaire2]

21. seems like a natural thing to do.

She had to shit and there was no other place to do it. We all shit, most of us every day.

[Initech]

5. It's a shitty story!

[Warren DeMontague]

7. The Freelance Fertilizer?

[Warren DeMontague]

8. THIS IS AN ENTIRELY NEW KIND OF CHAIN LETTER!

We represent the Fertilizer Society of the USA. It will not cost you a cent to join. Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address at the top of the list and shit on their front lawn. You won't be the only one there, so don't be embarrassed.

Then make five copies of this letter, leaving the top name off and adding your name and address at the bottom. Send them to five of your best friends and urge them to do the same. You won't get any money, but within five weeks, if this chain is not broken, you will have 3,215 strangers shitting on your lawn. (Here Comes Everybody!)

Your reward next summer will be the greenest lawn on the block.

DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN! Everybody who has broken it has within five days suffered acute, prolonged, and inexplicable constipation which responds to no known laxative and requires, in each case, intervention of the apple corer or its surgical equivalent.

[kentuck]

9. :-)

[Kaleva]

15. 725 5th Ave, New York, NY 10022 is the 1st address on the list

[Warren DeMontague]

16. mmmmmmmmmm

delicious

[Major Nikon]

18. Break the chain and wind up on the shit list

[Weekend Warrior]

10. That's solid...

Or maybe it isn't.

I just don't know what's going on anymore.

[kentuck]

11. No problem.

Every thing is normal.

[Weekend Warrior]

12. Story made me smile.

Revenge pooper. 😁

[Kaleva]

13. Ya gotta wonder what guardian angels talk about when their shift is over.

[Warren DeMontague]

14. this is why the lord invented the nest outdoor cam

[Motownman78]

17. It's Mel Gibson!!

From South Park, smearing feces on a door.

[jmowreader]

20. Colorado Springs?

The Budde family wouldn't be atheists, would they?

[Stuart G]

22. kentuck...you win the 2nd award of the day .."Topics never seen before".."Mad Pooper on loose.."

Orrex got one for the infamous discussion on the... "Oxford Comma", still going on,,,,.but you get the second award of the day....for posting the great story about...."The Colorado Springs Mad Pooper"... Two stories never seen before at DU...in the course of 30 minutes....INCREDIBLE...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

................of course........a hat tip for you................

[DemocratSinceBirth]

23. I haven't seen Sarah Huckabee Sanders on tv for a few days.