NBC's "To Catch A Predator," special Collusion Edition starring Donald Trump Jr.

[Miles Archer]

SCENE: Trump Tower, New York. Donald Trump Jr. arrives promptly for his meeting, unaware that a surprise awaits him in the form of NBC's "To Catch A Predator" host Chris Hansen.

TRUMP JR: (knocking at door)

(Door Opens)

HANSEN: Hi, you must be Donald Jr.

TRUMP JR: Er...yeah, who are you, and where is Ms. Veselnitskaya?

HANSEN: Oh, she's here...she just went down to the lobby for a moment. Come on in and have a seat.

TRUMP JR: What about Paul? Jared?

HANSEN: They called a few minutes ago and said they were stuck in traffic, but they're on their way.

TRUMP JR: And you are?

HANSEN: I work with Ms. Veselnitskaya. Can I get you a drink?

TRUMP JR: No thank you. Gee, it seems funny that I'm the only one here.

HANSEN: Oh, the rest of the people will be here shortly. So, Ms. Veselnitskaya tells me that you're intrigued that she might have damaging information about Hillary Clinton, that you wanted to learn about Mrs. Clinton’s “fitness” to be president.

TRUMP JR: Yes, who WOULDN'T I said that I'd love it if they had that information. Listen, if no one else is coming, I think I'm going to leave.

HANSEN: Oh, I assure you that they're coming. Let me have her paged for you. (picks up phone) "Yes, could you please page Ms. Veselnitskaya and tell her that her guest has arrive for their meeting? Yes. Thank you."

TRUMP JR: Is she coming?

HANSEN: They said they'd ask her to come right up. Say, I see you brought a bottle with you. Is that Stoli?

TRUMP JR: Er...yes, why do you ask?

HANSEN: So, Don, you like to meet Russian attorneys in rooms of your dad's building and bend the old elbow, eh?

TRUMP JR: Hey, she's over 21, what business is that of yours?

HANSEN: I'm just making small talk until everyone gets here.

TRUMP JR: I think I'm going to go now.

HANSEN: Before you do, take a look at that vase on the table. See the flower in the middle. Take a close look.

TRUMP JR: Is that a HIDDEN CAMERA?

HANSEN: You watch a lot of TV, Don?

TRUMP JR: No, just Fox News.

HANSEN: Ever heard of a show called "To Catch A Predator?"

TRUMP JR: Isn't that the show where they trap perverts who mess with kids?

HANSEN: Well, yes...perverts, and members of Presidential campaigns and administrations who do things like meet with Russian attorneys to see if they might have damaging information about Hillary Clinton, so that they can learn about Mrs. Clinton’s “fitness” to be president. We catch them too.

TRUMP JR: I DIDN'T SAY THAT!

HANSEN: Actually, Don, you admitted to it a few minutes ago. Would you like to see the replay? (turns on TV)

HANSEN: So, Ms. Veselnitskaya tells me that you're intrigued that she might have damaging information about Hillary Clinton, that you wanted to learn about Mrs. Clinton’s “fitness” to be president.

TRUMP JR: Yes, who WOULDN'T I said that I'd love it if they had that information. Listen, if no one else is coming, I think I'm going to leave.

(turns off TV)

TRUMP JR: THAT WASN'T ME! THIS IS A SETUP!

HANSEN: Don, it IS you! The man in that footage is wearing the same clothes as you and he's holding a bottle of Stoli.

TRUMP JR: Hold on, I have to make a phone call. (Presses numbers on cell phone). Hello, Dad? Can you still arrange that pardon for me?

TRUMP SR: What'd they get you for?

TRUMP JR: They tricked me into saying that I met with the Russians to get dirt on Hillary. Dad, I'm scared, I don't want to go to pr....

(CLICK)

TRUMP JR: Dad? DAD?

(Knock at door)

HANSEN: Oh, good. The people I've been waiting for are here.

TRUMP JR: You mean Ms. Veselnitskaya, Paul, and Jared?

HANSEN: No, actually, it's some other people. You'll like them. They're going to take you for a nice ride in a nice unmarked government van.

DON JR: Oh, I like vans. You know what they say...if the van is 'a rockin', don't come 'a knockin'! (giggles)

HANSEN: That's good, Don. aways keep your sense of humor.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

1. LOL. nt