Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-11: Heel The Nation (The Weeping Nazi) Edition

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Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-11: Heel The Nation (The Weeping Nazi) Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! The Top 10 Conservative Idiots has a +- 1% difference in idiocy over the leading Top 10 provider! Switch today and save! We are back everybody! So let me just check my Powerball tickets. Damn it, didn’t win. So we’re stuck here. You know can we talk about the solar eclipse for a minute? Particularly I want to talk about one angle of it that not everyone is talking about – the merchandising! I love when people try to capitalize off an event like this because you will see some bullshit. Like the eclipse t-shirt with a unicorn hopping over the moon, because you know in 2017, internet kids do love them some unicorns, right? I mean Krispy Kreme has their own special donut for the event. Dennys had all you can eat pancakes. The Postal Service issued stamps for the eclipse. There’s specialty wines. 711 was selling eclipse glasses for $24.99 – and yes seriously, that’s the price! And then there’s my favorite – the eclipse “Path Of Totality” 2017 tour t-shirt! Hey you cant sell a t-shirt for a fake tour that is not really happening! That’s my fucking job! And of course you can’t have a science based event without selling some specialty marijuana! Because of course stoners would buy all the specialty chocolate they could in order to enjoy the eclipse, because, weed! OK that’s enough of the intro. We got a lot of conservative idiocy to get to. But first you know SNL is on hiatus right now for the summer, but Tina Fey offered some advice on how to deal with Nazis and white supremacists in a Weekend Update spinoff:

Man where do we begin this week? We’re still trying to put together the pieces of Charlottesville, but the Alt Right gets knocked down and gets back up again. In the first two slots we’re dedicating to the Alt Right (1, 2). In the number one slot we’re going to talk about what went down in Boston, New Orleans, and my home, Orange County. In the second slot we’re going to talk about more madness coming from Charlottesville including some pastors who have said some crazy shit lately. In the third slot is Breitbart (3). So unless you’ve been living under a rock by now, Trump fired Steve Bannon, and he is going ape shit, and this means war. Donald Trump is going to be taking over slots #4 and #5 this week. In the fourth slot we’re going to recap his Afghanistan speech, which was a colossal fail. I think sometime we need to ask – “The War In Afghanistan – How Is This Still A Thing?”. At number 6 is Mar-A-Lago (6). And other various Trump organizations, because in the wake of Trump’s comments on Virginia, charities are refusing to hold events at Trump’s mega mansion. In the number 7 slot we’ve got another installment of “Holy Shit” (7) because religious fundamentalists are bringing the crazy extra hard this week. Particularly we’re going to focus on Liberty University because Jerry Falwell Jr is bringing the crazy extra hard, and it’s really pissing off Liberty University alumni. Taking At number 8 is Alex Jones (8). So man on the street interviews are typically done because the average person has no clue what you’re talking about. Well, Alex Jones on the other hand, attempted these in left-leaning Seattle, and it was a spectacular fail. So there’s that. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot, we’ve got yet another installment of “People Are Dumb” because the stupid just keeps coming, and there was a lot of stupid this week – particularly coming from America’s penis, Florida. And that’s a special kind of crazy. And we will end this week with the next leg of our World Tour 2017. It’s our last leg in Europe and I have to say Europe has been really great to us. But this is a world tour, damn it! And we must hit all 6 continents plus India and the Middle East! So we’re ending by doing it gothic style in the great city of Prague and visiting the Czech Republic! Plus it’s edition #3-11, and as promised we have a very special musical guest planned for this edition. I’m of course talking about 311! Yay! The kids love 311 don’t they? And their new album “Mosaic” is amazing! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
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It’s time for the Alt Right Squad! Starring: Leslie Nielsen. Guest starring: Donald Trump. Tonight’s episode: “Heel The Nation (The Weeping Nazi)”. So by now you know the alt right free speech brigade has been getting louder, dumber, and more rowdy as they visit each destination in an attempt to intimidate and harass liberals. So what happened on their latest stop – the great city of Boston? Here’s what happened!

WOBURN, Mass. — Kyle Chapman was sitting in a dimly lit Irish pub about 20 minutes outside of Boston, where Saturday afternoon’s so-called “Free Speech Rally” had just been shut down by tens of thousands of counter-protesters.

“The white man is one of the most discriminated against people in this entire country right now,” he explained.

Chapman—a muscly right-wing organizer who went viral earlier this year after video footage showed him swinging a heavy wooden stick at liberal Berkeley demonstrators—had been scheduled to speak at the rally on Boston Common. But organizers ended up pulling the plug early, he said, when the crowd of counter-protesters grew too large. After being escorted to safety by police, he and other attendees retired here to lick their (metaphorical) wounds.

“I was definitely concerned for my safety and the safety of the other attendees,” Chapman said. “The barricades [that police] set up were four-foot barricades and … there would have been no way to stop the alt-left domestic terrorists if they decided to attack us.”
https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/08/boston-free-speech-rally/537435/

The alt left are the domestic terrorists? Hey, we’re not the ones carrying AK-47s and AR-15s into Chipotle just to get dinner! Thank you! Man these people are fucking paranoid, aren’t they? I mean just this couldn’t get any crazier could it? Well there’s one thing I definitely don’t agree with and that’s death threats. Seriously, fucking stop it people! Just… stop it!

Nicholas Fuentes, 18, decided to leave Boston University after receiving numerous death threats for being a member of the alt-right, Fox News reported.

Fuentes made the decision last month after constantly being threatened for being alt-right. He says he no longer felt safe on campus.

The rise of the alt-right

The BU student was one of the people who showed up in Charlottesville, Virginia, for the “Unite the Right” rally. He said he has no regrets about attending the rally, despite the increased backlash.
http://www.theblaze.com/news/2017/08/19/death-threats-force-alt-right-student-to-leave-boston-university/

Yeah seriously people, stop with the death threats. Not everything you don’t agree with warrants, I don’t know, death. But getting back to much lighter news, this might be my favorite sign out of Boston:




Yeah they’d better pack a lunch! And of course Trump had to open his big fat Twitter account and say something divisive:

Link to tweet

But even the mayor of Boston told the alt right crowd to GTFO before the event even began:

Boston's Mayor Marty Walsh said on Thursday that right-wing “free speech” activists planning a rally in his city on Saturday have as much right to speak their mind as anyone else, but that the city will have a “zero tolerance” policy for violence.

“I didn’t want them to get a permit, quite honestly, but we also believe in free speech in our country,” Walsh told reporters, according to WCVB Channel 5.

The group planning to rally on Boston Common this Saturday is known as Boston Free Speech and is a coalition of far-right organizations. Organizers of the rally insist that they’re not affiliated with the alt-right, neo-Nazis or other groups that turned last Saturday’s “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, VA into a brutal melee that killed one and injured 20 others.

Thousands of counter-protesters are expected for Saturday’s rally. The two groups will be separated by a police barrier. Rally-goers will not be allowed to carry backpacks, signs with sticks or anything else that can be used as a weapon.

Read more: http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/your-message-isnt-wanted-here-boston-mayor-threatens-white-nationalists-planning-saturday-rally/

Yes they need to get the fuck out. But the best news? They got drowned out without incident like the clusterfuck that was Charlottesville!

The conservative activists had insisted they have no connection to last week's violent protests in Charlottesville, Va., which drew white nationalists and sparked violent clashes and a deadly vehicle attack. But that did not satisfy those who opposed their message. Many of them handed out stickers showing the face of 32-year-old Heather Heyer, who was killed in Charlottesville when a man who attended the white nationalist rally allegedly rammed his car into a crowd of counterdemonstrators.

Earlier, a speaker who addressed the crowd condemned what many see as President Trump's tepid response to events last week in Charlottesville.

"If you don't condemn it, you condone it," the speaker said. Demonstrators also chanted "black lives matter" and "our streets."

On Saturday afternoon, Trump tweeted his response to the rally, commending law enforcement officers on a job well done and protesters on speaking out against bigotry.

Some at the rally carried signs — among them: "Alt-Right Delete" and "The only thing we hate in Boston is the Yankees."
http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/08/19/544684355/bostons-free-speech-rally-organizers-deny-links-to-white-nationalists [/div

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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
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You know what people? Don’t be a dick. If you want to know the answer to the question “what would a dick do?”, look no further than the Alt Right. Since the clusterfuck that happened in Charlottesville, people have been asking a lot of questions. The biggest one is “who the fuck are these guys?”. Well, thanks to some rogue people on Twitter, we’ve been learning exactly who these people are that have been wrecking havoc. Yeah we get it, it’s free speech. You have a fundamental right to say this shit as guaranteed by the first amendment to the constitution of the United States. But don’t be a dick about it! Can we agree about that? Well here’s exhibit A – don’t spin what happened in Charlottesville as a false flag:

After pro-Trump outlet The Gateway Pundit drew attention to the SPLC report, which noted that “rumors abound on white nationalist forums that Kessler’s ideological pedigree before 2016 was less than pure and seem to point to involvement in the Occupy movement and past support for President Obama,” fringe right-wing media figures and hyperpartisan fake news purveyors quickly jumped on the claim. Longtime Trump adviser Roger Stone, who is also a host at the conspiracy theory outlet Infowars, tweeted the Gateway Pundit article, writing, “Oops ! Charlottesville “White Supremacist" was an Obama Supporter/Occupy protestor (sic) #fishy #falseflag #SorosOp.” Fake news purveyor Conservative Daily Post suggested the rally was organized by the left to “shatter Trump’s base and depict conservatives as white supremacists.”
https://www.mediamatters.org/blog/2017/08/18/pro-trump-media-conspiracy-theory-white-supremacist-who-organized-charlottesville-rally-really/217683

Hmmmm… Alex Jones is getting existential on us! Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Well, don’t be surprised when you get outed. Like there’s this guy from Charlottesville who was caught on the documentary show Vice – Chris Cantwell, and he shall forever be known by his nickname “The Weeping Nazi”.

Christopher Cantwell, one of the primary subjects of VICE News' viral documentary on the Unite The Right rally in Charlottesville and a prominent Alt-Right media personality, sobbed in a personal YouTube video after he says a warrant was issued for his arrest.

I called the Charlottesville Police Department... and I said, ‘I have been told that there’s a warrant out for my arrest.’ They said that they wouldn’t confirm it but that I could find this out if I wanted to go a local magistrate or something.

He goes on to tearfully admit to committing violence during the rally, but claims it was self-defense:

If I have to go to jail today, it won't be the first time...I don't want to, I don't think I should...I've been engaged in violence... and I've done nothing to hide that, but it was done in defense of myself and others.
http://digg.com/2017/vice-charlottesville-documentary-christopher-cantwell-crying-neo-nazi

Even Hank Hill is horrified at this! I mean come on, we have actual Nazis here in America , right here, right now! So there’s exhibit A. What about Exhibit B?

A 21-year-old Honeoye Falls, NY man was outed as a white supremacist after photos of him marching in Charlottesville, VA circulated online.

According to the Livingston County News, Jerrod Kuhn was filmed on Friday and Saturday last week by a BBC documentary crew as he carried a torch on the University of Virginia campus and chanted Nazi slogans and marched with the KKK and neo-Nazis the following day.

Rochester, NY-based group called Eastside Antifascists took still images of Kuhn and distributed 250 fliers bearing his photo throughout the Honeoye Falls area with the slogan, “No Nazis in our neighborhood.” The fliers explained that Kuhn is a participant and prolific poster at neo-Nazi website The Daily Stormer, “an avowedly neo-Nazi website around which local groups have been organizing to promote anti-Semitism, white supremacy and violence against LGBTQ communities.”
http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/my-life-is-over-21-year-old-charlottesville-marcher-whines-over-outing-by-anti-fascist-group/

Sounds and looks like quite the upstanding individual there! But oh we’re not done yet. May the court appoint this as exhibit C?

An 18-year-old who attended the white supremacist rally that turned violent in Charlottesville, Va., says he is not returning to Boston University in the fall, in part because of death threats he has received for his political views.

“It’s becoming very dangerous,’’ Nicholas Fuentes said Tuesday in a phone interview.

He said he has received 15 death threats over the past week via e-mail and social media.

Read more: https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2017/08/16/citing-death-threats-18-year-old-who-attended-violent-va-rally-wont-return-to-bu

I mean come on, people, don’t threaten death. That’s not cool. Not even for someone as hateful as this douchebag, who thinks liberal leaders should be tried for treason!

Right-wing radio host, commentator and conspiracy theorist Josh Bernstein posted a video yesterday in which he declared that President Obama and the leaders of progressive organizations like People For the American Way, MoveOn.org and Media Matters were to blame for the violence surrounding a recent white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, and called on President Trump to have them all arrested for treason.

“I blame Charlottesville as a result of that race war that Barack Obama, his administration and the hard left has been perpetrating against America all of these years,” Bernstein said. “Couple that with George Soros and David Brock and all of his left-wing organizations, from Media Matters to MoveOn.org to American Century Bridge to Correct the Record to People For the Un-American Way, as I like to call them, to Right Wing Watch—go head, I’m hoping for another one of your lovely articles about this video—those are the groups, along with George Soros, that with the Obama administration, in concert did everything they could to divide and conquer America, to destroy race relations in America and destroy the civil rights movement as we knew it.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/josh-bernstein-leaders-of-liberal-groups-should-be-tried-for-treason-in-wake-of-charlottesville-violence/

No, no, there’s no race war going on. And by the way after Charlottesville, I have to show this. This was being planned in my neck of the woods. But really, neo Nazis have to stop pretending like they care about children, because they clearly don’t. And who thought this was a good idea? Really?

Juan Cadavid organized a book-burning event with Brian Enright of the Three Percenters to be held at Huntington State Beach in California. The event was dubbed “Burning Degeneracy – CA,” but they have recently decided to cancel the event out of fear.

According to The OC Weekly, the group advertised the Aug. 19 event by telling people that it was time to “purge their homes, State, and country of degenerate literature.”

“This includes literature of Marxism, Communism, Bolshevism, literature with liberal, democratic tendencies/attitudes, and writings supporting the decline of Western Culture,” the event description read. “Books on sexuality and sexual education which serves to indoctrinate the life of degeneracy, such as Cosmo and Teen Vogue should be brought to the fire as well. We will also burn the Koran, publications such as Karl Marx, and more. We must create a future without degeneracy for our children.”
http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/alt-right-cancels-california-book-burning-of-degenerate-literature-after-organizer-says-he-fears-liberals/#.WZrhVMjXDf9.twitter

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[font size="8"]Breitbart Vs. Trump
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So in case you’re living under a rock, you should know by now that Trump fired Steve Bannon. “You’re fired, OK?”. But now instead of giving one of his own a pat on the back, Trump seems intent on throwing his useful idiots under the bus. You know, just like Hitler did! You know Breitbart – the premier news organization for today’s active 40 year old virgins.

Stephen K. Bannon, President Trump's self-styled liaison to the far right, has departed the White House in the latest staff turmoil, according to the Associated Press.

Long-simmering speculation that he would be forced out intensified recently when retired Marine Gen. John F. Kelly became White House chief of staff, charged with restoring discipline and order. Among other things, Bannon is suspected of stoking right-wing opposition to national security advisor H.R. McMaster.

But by Friday, he had apparently also lost the support of the president for his combativeness, after months of alienating many others within the administration.
http://www.latimes.com/politics/washington/la-na-essential-washington-updates-trump-chief-strategist-steve-bannon-1503076379-htmlstory.html

By the way that’s how Steve Bannon looked on SNL. You know what’s SNL going to do when they come back? Spicer and Bannon are both out, who will they make fun of next? Well, Death, er, Steve Bannon, will still be around. And he’s already got back to work. This means war!

Monday night, Donald Trump gave a prime time address to the nation on how he intends to move forward in Afghanistan.

During the speech, Trump made clear that he would not be pulling U.S. forces out of Afghanistan and in fact left the door open to adding more troops on the ground there. He acknowledged that this was at odds with the position he held throughout his campaign last year.

“My original instinct was to pull out — and, historically, I like following my instincts,” Trump said. “But all my life I’ve heard that decisions are much different when you sit behind the desk in the Oval Office. In other words, when you’re President of the United States.”

“I will not say when we are going to attack, but attack we will,” Trump said.

This change in position did not go unnoticed by many on the left and right, most notably Breitbart News, the rightwing blog where Trump’s former Chief Strategist Steve Bannon returned shortly after leaving the White House last week.
http://secondnexus.com/politics-and-economics/steve-bannons-breitbart-slams-trumps-afghanistan-speech/?utm_content=inf_677_1164_2&tse_id=INF_8f96bec0873f11e7a7253d7eefa2109b

We’ll get to the insanity that was Trump’s Afghanistan speech in a minute. But there’s more to the madness now that Trump has fired Bannon. Here’s the interesting thing – Bannon was supposed to make a peaceful exit from the White House, but then came Charlottesville:

WASHINGTON — John F. Kelly, the new White House chief of staff, told Stephen K. Bannon in late July that he needed to go: No need for it to get messy, Mr. Kelly told Mr. Bannon, according to several people with firsthand knowledge of the exchange. The two worked out a mutually amicable departure date for mid-August, with President Trump’s blessing.

But as Mr. Trump struggled last week to contain a growing public furor over his response to a deadly, race-fueled melee in Virginia, Mr. Bannon clashed with Mr. Kelly over how the president should respond. Give no ground to your critics, Mr. Bannon urged the president, with characteristic truculence.

At the same time, New York real estate investor friends told Mr. Trump that the situation with Mr. Bannon was untenable: Steve Roth on Monday, Tom Barrack on Tuesday and Richard LeFrak on Wednesday.

By Thursday, after Mr. Bannon undercut American policy toward North Korea in an interview published by a left-leaning magazine, Mr. Trump himself had concluded that Mr. Bannon was too much of a liability.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/20/us/politics/steve-bannon-fired-trump-departure.html

But come on Trump, you should know by now that Steve Bannon is not your friend. He’s only an insane ultra far right journalist who could break you to his batshit crazy base.

The crude heuristic that transformed Steve Bannon in the eyes of the media from the sewer-dwelling publisher of Breitbart’s “black crime” vertical into a master political tactician goes something like this: Donald Trump was on pace to lose the 2016 election to Hillary Clinton before Bannon joined the campaign last August, and then Trump went on to beat her—using Bannonite race-baiting and character assassination tactics—with a popular vote margin of -3 million.

Just as we can’t replay the election to determine whether Clinton would have won if she’d done more campaigning in the upper Midwest or if James Comey hadn’t sent that letter to Congress, we will never know if Bannon provided the ballast Trump needed to eke out the narrowest of victories.

But his performance as Trump’s chief political adviser in the months between the election and his unceremonious firing last week obliges us, at the very least, to rethink his reputation.
https://newrepublic.com/article/144460/steve-bannon-not-friend

And then even Bannon himself is already declaring the presidency over – and you know they’re just getting started. I mean we’ve been following this shit show since day 1. I mean here’s what I looked like 2 years ago when I started the Top 10. And here’s what I look like now!



As you can tell, this has aged me horribly! But even he’s saying it’s game over for Trump:

Washington (CNN)After his ouster from the West Wing on Friday, ex-White House chief strategist Steve Bannon declared the Trump presidency that his brand of populist, right-wing conservatives helped make a reality is "over."

"The Trump presidency that we fought for, and won, is over," Bannon said in an interview with The Weekly Standard. "We still have a huge movement, and we will make something of this Trump presidency. But that presidency is over. It'll be something else."
"There'll be all kinds of fights, and there'll be good days and bad days, but that presidency is over," he added, according to the Weekly Standard.

Bannon, who left right-wing news site Breitbart to join Donald Trump's campaign in 2016, remained on at the White House as one of the President's most controversial advisers -- and the man generally perceived as the driving force behind Trump's "nationalist" ideology.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/18/politics/weekly-standard-steve-bannon/index.html

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Anyone remember that movie Wag The Dog? You know the movie that presented the theory that when a president’s approval rating tanks because of a scandal, the president then launches a fake war to boost approval ratings? Well, there’s nothing that can save Trump’s presidency at this point. Even a fake war! So why not a real one? You know while all the attention is focused on North Korea, there’s two perfectly good wars that conservatives have seemed to forgot about – Iraq and Afghanistan! That is, until last night when Trump said this:

President Trump outlined a revised vision for the U.S. war in Afghanistan on Monday, pledging to end a strategy of “nation-building” and instead institute a policy aimed more squarely at addressing the terrorist threat that emanates from the region.

“I share the American people’s frustration,” he said. “I also share their frustration over a foreign policy that has spent too much time, energy, money — and, most importantly, lives — trying to rebuild countries in our own image instead of pursuing our security interests above all other considerations.”

But Trump provided few specifics about his policy and how much the U.S. military commitment in the region would increase as a result, insisting that conditions on the ground would determine troop levels and strategy.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-expected-to-announce-small-troop-increase-in-afghanistan-in-prime-time-address/2017/08/21/eb3a513e-868a-11e7-a94f-3139abce39f5_story.html?utm_term=.45e3c0a3033a

Sigh… this is why we can’t have nice things. And you know that this comes on the 64th anniversary of when the CIA first overthrew Afghanistan’s progressive government right? Well now Afghanistan is Trump’s war, and the conservatives own it!

President Donald Trump has just made one of the most consequential decisions of his young and turbulent presidency — whether to send thousands more U.S. troops to Afghanistan and to what end. If press reporting is correct, increasing the American commitment in Afghanistan was the Trump national security team’s preferred outcome — and despite the president’s misgivings, the final one. The goal: to help the Afghan National Defense and Security Forces stabilize the security situation, gain the momentum against the Taliban, and prevent the Islamic State from gaining a foothold in Afghanistan.

The Trump administration will assert that this is a new strategy — a clear break from President Barack Obama’s approach — but in reality it is just a moderate adjustment of a core strategy that has been in place for years, with mixed results.
http://foreignpolicy.com/2017/08/21/afghanistan-is-now-trumps-war-10-questions/

Trump’s just waiting for his “Mission Accomplished” moment, you know that! But you know since we like to present both sides of the argument here at the Top 10, here’s a few things you need to know:

He acknowledged reversing from his campaign position

Trump ran on a position of limiting U.S. engagement in foreign conflicts and has for years advocated a U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan, arguing the United States was wasting billions.

“Why are we continuing to train these Afghanis who then shoot our soldiers in the back? Afghanistan is a complete waste. Time to come home!” he wrote on Twitter in 2012.

But on Monday night, Trump acknowledged he was reversing course on his previous comments, asserting that quickly pulling troops from the country would do more harm than good.
http://thehill.com/policy/defense/347433-5-takeaways-from-trumps-afghan-speech

Of course he did! I mean really, at this point do you expect anything less from Trump? I mean that’s only the same thing every other politician does! Congratulations, republicans, your Washington outsider, became a Washington insider last night! Bravo, well done!

He was emphatic that nation building is not the goal

While Trump pledged to continue to support the Afghan government and military in their fight against the Taliban, he made clear his administration would take itself out of other decisions, dubbing the new outlook as “principled realism.”

“I share [Americans'] frustration over a foreign policy that has spent too much time, energy, money and most importantly lives trying to rebuild countries in our own image instead of pursuing our security interests above all other consideration,” Trump said.

“Ultimately it is up to the people of Afghanistan to take ownership of their future. ... We are not nation building again. We are killing terrorists,” he added.

You know the GOP loves to slam the very idea of nation building, but that’s exactly what they are doing, is some fucking nation building! Really, the hypocrisy is ridiculously strong with this one! But you know conservatives love to war monger, and boy Trump did some war mongering Monday night. In fact the military industrial complex – which is more of a thing than the deep state the conservative conspiracy theorists love, won’t be satisfied until they hit the jackpot.

vTrump took a hard line on Pakistan

The White House plans to pressure neighboring Pakistan to push harder on terrorist organizations within and across its borders.

“We can no longer be silent about Pakistan’s safe havens for terrorist organizations, the Taliban, and other groups that pose a threat to the region and beyond,” Trump said. “Pakistan has much to gain from partnering with our effort in Afghanistan. It has much to lose by continuing to harbor criminals terrorists.”

Trump hinted at withholding aid from the country, a tactic that has been used in the past. Defense Secretary James Mattis has withheld $50 million in aid from Pakistan over what the Pentagon described as its insufficient actions against the Haqqani network, a militant Islamic group based in the country.

Wait – Pakistan is next to Afghanistan, which is next to Iran. If the military industrial complex gets their way – TRIFECTA!!!!! Of course they could go for the Superfecta and declare war on North Korea, but we don’t have that kind of time!




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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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We need some music for this one!

Nah, how about:

Better. Closer. Warmer. I know!

Perfect! So how did you celebrate the big eclipse on Monday? Did you buy glasses to look directly at it, or did you try one of the alternate methods? Or did you not give a shit? Or did you give a shit and try to watch the NASA live stream? Which showed everything but the actual eclipse! I shit you not! Or maybe you’re like Trump – you actually kind of gave a shit, and then did the exact opposite of everyone else and stare directly at the sun?

That's Donald John Trump on the White House South Portico, seemingly looking directly into the sun. At the peak of the solar eclipse. Without any sort of protective eyewear on.

This, from the White House pool report of the moment filed by the Guardian's Ben Jacobs is, um, amazing: "At approximately 2:39, the President initially gesticulated to the crowd below and pointed at the sky. As he did so, one of the White House aides standing beneath the Blue Room Balcony shouted 'don't look.'"

Trump did, eventually, put on protective eyewear -- as did first lady Melania Trump.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/21/politics/trump-solar-eclipse/index.html

Can we show that picture?



Dude… what does he think he’s looking at? Maybe it’s invaders from the Deep State who are coming to take him away! Switching subjects., you know we got to talk about how he reacted to the Boston protests. First off, can we show the tweet that nearly broke the internet on Saturday?



Yes, we need to heel and we will heel! Sit! Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy???? Do you want a doggy treat? Yes, good boy! Thank you! See that’s one of those things that where you spell it wrong, has a completely different meaning! And you will be ridiculed extensively if you fuck this up!

Showing what would happen if your computer’s spell check became sentient and snarkily judgmental, whoever runs Merriam-Webster’s Twitter account has taken President Trump to task for a social media spelling error. Again.

It started sometime after 4 p.m. Saturday, at the end of a mostly peaceful protest in Boston, where most demonstrators rallied against hate.

Afterward, the president thumbed out a tweet of solidarity:

“Our country has been divided for decades,” he tweeted. “Sometimes you need protest in order to heel, & we will heel, & be stronger than ever before.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2017/08/20/trump-mistakenly-tweeted-that-the-country-needs-to-heel-the-internet-gave-him-hell/?utm_term=.fc979653ae09

I like that one! But you know this comes after Trump tweeted about “anti-police agitators” in Boston. Can someone please take his phone away?

Link to tweet

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Except there weren’t:

President Trump weighed in on the far-right rally held Saturday in Boston, describing "anti-police agitators" and complimenting the police.

Boston police said they had a tight security plan in place to ensure the violence that roiled Charlottesville, Va., last weekend did not take place in their city.

The large gathering ended as scheduled by 2 p.m. local time without any major incidents.
http://www.latimes.com/politics/washington/la-na-essential-washington-updates-trump-tweets-about-anti-police-1503171585-htmlstory.html

And switching subjects for a third time, we have to talk about again how he talks about the “FAKE NEWS!!!!” media like it’s a bodily function. You know Obama would have done the presidential thing and congratulated the Boston protestors for a job well done. But instead Trump tweets about FAKE NEWS like he’s a parrot. Speaking of which… we might bring out our old friend Trumpy! Hyperbole much, Trump?

President Trump tweeted that he was headed back to Washington following a 17-day trip that the White House described as a "working vacation."

The president's mood appeared foul Sunday evening, as he assured the public that he had been "working hard" from his golf club in New Jersey.

Trump also suggested that he'd been indulging his well-documented cable television habit during his time away, writing that the coverage he'd watched consisted of "some of the worst and most dishonest Fake News reporting I have ever seen!"
http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-pol-updates-trump-tweets-working-vacation-media-htmlstory.html

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[font size="8"]Mar-A-Lago
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So Donald Trump’s mega mansion in Florida – you know it as Mar-A-Lago, is losing a lot of business lately. Gee, I wonder why? Is it because of what Trump said about Virginia? That is definitely not the way to address a disaster like that. But of course Trump acts compulsively without thinking of the consequences it could have, and he’s the fucking president! Who had yet to sever ties with his business, which he should have. But nope. Instead charities are abandoning ship left and right. Like for instance…

A Florida charity for children announced Tuesday that it was canceling plans to hold a fundraiser luncheon at President Trump's Mar-a-Lago Club next winter adding to an exodus of its high-paying charity clients in the days after his comments about violent protests in Charlottesville.

The Unicorn Children's Foundation, based in Boca Raton, said it would move a planned Fashion Show Luncheon to another venue, but did not say which one. The group explained its decision with a statement saying We are not a political organization and do not condone hatred or bullying on any level.

Due to the political turbulence associated with this choice of venue it would be a disservice to our supporters and our children to hold our event at Mar-a-Lago, said Sharon Alexander, the group's chief executive, in the statement. We prefer the conversations to be centered off the venue and instead focused on how we can help kids with special needs excel in their communities.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2017/08/22/16th-charity-cancels-its-event-at-president-trumps-mar-a-lago-club-blaming-political-turbulence/

Well they’re not the first charity to abandon ship. There’s way more where that came from, in fact the number of charities abandoning ship is growing quite large. Don’t worry, they’ll get some right wing charities like the Wounded Warrior Project to play along!

And then there were two.

Or maybe four, depending on what happens when a couple of boards meet this week.

Today, the Palm Beach Zoo & Conservation Society and MorseLife both announced a change of venue for their annual Palm Beach fundraisers, from the Mar-a-Lago Club to – well, not the Mar-a-Lago Club. That brings to 19 the number of charities that have decided to leave Mar-a-Lago in recent months, many in the past week.

The defections leave only the Palm Beach Police Foundation’s Policeman’s Ball and the Achilles Freedom Team of Wounded Vets “Spirit of America” holiday gala as remaining at the presidential retreat.
http://www.palmbeachdailynews.com/news/local/new-palm-beach-zoo-gala-morselife-luncheon-leaving-trump-mar-lago/zeT6bNTSBKzMfzaM0SnQbM/

Oh not the Palm Beach Zoo! I mean at least Sea World is still available am I right about that? Shit, even a charity hosted by a Trump RELATIVE is pulling out of Mar-A-Lago!

A day after reiterating its intent to hold its 2018 fundraising event at President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Club, Big Dog Ranch Rescue did an about face and pulled its luncheon from the Palm Beach club. Instead, the organization will hold its event at a new facility in Loxahatchee Groves.

The move follows the decision by eight other charities to bail on Mar-a-Lago in the wake of of Trump’s controversial statements following last weekend’s neo-Nazi and white supremacist rallies in Virginia. Big Dog Ranch’s move, though, is surprising given that Trump’s daughter-in-law, Lara Trump, is a co-chair.
http://www.mypalmbeachpost.com/news/update-big-dog-ranch-event-chaired-lara-trump-pulls-out-mar-lago/Ak8WihK9tIWwJkoCy2jsnL/

Holy crap! The list just keeps growing! For those of you keeping score at home, that’s 4 stories now of people who are leaving Mar-A-Lago because of what Trump said! It’s up to 14 now!

Corporate fallout over President Donald Trump's comments on the violence that erupted in Charlottesville, Virgina continues as two more charities announced this weekend they would be canceling gala fundraisers at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach, Florida.

"The Preservation Foundation of Palm Beach is a nonprofit dedicated to protecting and celebrating the unique architectural and cultural heritage of Palm Beach," the group wrote in a Facebook post on Saturday explaining its decision to withdraw. "Given the current environment surrounding Mar-a-Lago, we have made the decision to move our annual dinner dance."
http://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/14-charities-abruptly-cancel-fundraisers-mar-lago-n794446

Now it’s up to 16!

In all, 16 charities have now canceled events at Mar-a-Lago since last Tuesday, when President Trump said there were “fine people” among the people who came to Charlottesville to protest the planned removal of a statue of Confederate general Robert E. Lee. That crowd also included neo-Nazis and white supremacists, including one man now charged with murder for running down counterprotesters with his car.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2017/08/22/16th-charity-cancels-its-event-at-president-trumps-mar-a-lago-club-blaming-political-turbulence/?utm_term=.b6437098f9af

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2017/08/22/16th-charity-cancels-its-event-at-president-trumps-mar-a-lago-club-blaming-political-turbulence/?utm_term=.b6437098f9af

And at the last time before we finished this week’s Top 10 – it’s now up to 21! Blackjack! Even Susan G. Komen doesn’t want anything to do with Trump, and they associate themselves with the NFL! An organization that protects criminals like Ray Lewis!

The list keeps growing.

The Unicorn Children’s Foundation announced today it was moving a planned fashion show luncheon from President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach.

That brings to 21 the number of charities that have decided to leave Mar-a-Lago in recent months, many in the past week. Nineteen of those organizations held events there during the last social season.
http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/local/21st-charity-moves-event-from-trump-mar-lago-palm-beach/616HQK6NG1Jd32pFcqZYFI/

OK now might be the time to abandon ship!


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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Yes, religious fundamentalists are dominating the news in our new segment, Holy Shit. But this week, Holy Shit is only going to focus on one aspect of the holy part of it – Liberty University, and specifically the current president of the university – son of the university’s founder and guy who has no remarks about Tinky Winky’s sexual orientation, Jerry Falwell Jr.

Since the early days of the 2016 presidential campaign, Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. has been a staunch supporter of Donald Trump. For some students and alumni of the Evangelical Christian School in Lynchburg, Va., Liberty’s perceived alignment with the president has been a source of “shame and anger,” a group of graduates wrote last week.

Last week, many reached their breaking point. After Trump’s equivocation about neo-Nazi groups following the violence in Charlottesville, Falwell tweeted that he was “so proud” of Trump for his “bold truthful” statement on the tragedy.

Falwell appeared on “Fox & Friends” Monday morning to reiterate his support for the president.

“President Donald Trump does not have a racist bone in his body. I know him well,” Falwell said. “He loves all people. He’s worked so hard to help minorities in the inner cities… He’s doing all the right things to help the people that are in need, the minorities.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/08/21/liberty-university-graduates-return-diplomas-because-of-support-for-trump-by-jerry-falwell-jr/?utm_term=.7e31ac534b54

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! As if Donald Trump suddenly cares about minorities! Got any other good zingers, Jerry? But… here’s where things get weird! As you know, they have been known to do under Trump! But this might be one of my favorite stories of the week. Not only is he not giving up defending Trump, he’s doubling down!

Jerry Falwell Jr., a leading evangelical Christian leader and president of Liberty University, defended President Donald Trump and his response to last weekend’s deadly rally of neo-Nazis and white supremacists in Charlottesville, Virginia.

“He doesn’t say what’s politically correct, he says what’s in his heart, what he believes in his heart and sometimes that gets him into trouble,” Falwell told Martha Raddatz on ABC’s “This Week” Sunday. “He does not have a racist bone in his body — I know him well.”

Falwell also praised Trump, whom he had endorsed in his presidential campaign, as “something we haven’t had in national leadership in a long time: He’s substance over form.”
http://www.thewrap.com/jerry-falwell-jr-defends-trump-charlottesville-substance-form/

Wait, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. Wait. Wait. Trump doesn’t have a racist bone in his body? Are you fucking kidding me? Have you been paying attention to the same clusterfuck we’ve been following for the last two years? Trump is enabling the racists and sexists! Jerry has apparently pissed off Liberty University graduates something fierce.

More than 200 Liberty University alumni have signed on to a Facebook group proposing they return their degrees in protest of University President Jerry Falwell Jr.'s unwavering support of President Donald Trump.

The movement follows a tweet by Falwell that applauded Trump's response to the recent events in Charlottesville, Virginia.

Heather Heyer, 32, was killed Aug. 12 in Charlottesville when a car plowed into a crowd of counterprotesters gathered to oppose a "Unite the Right" rally of white nationalist and other right-wing groups. Nineteen others were injured in the incident. Trump blamed "both sides" for the violence.

The alumni Facebook group organized for the movement has grown to 202 members and counting since it was launched Thursday. The members of the group are asked to mail their diplomas to Falwell's office on the same day, Sept. 5.

Read more: http://www.kmbc.com/article/liberty-university-grads-propose-returning-degrees-due-to-pro-trump-comments/12039757?utm_campaign=KMBC&utm_content=599a831104d3016df1cadb5b&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=trueAnthem%3A+New+Content

Yeah so Jerry Falwell Jr is apparently pissing off Liberty University graduates because of his support for Trump’s reckless policies. How more batshit crazy can the Christian right get? Well there’s Liberty University and then there’s the Steve-O of the Christian right, Paula White! And how is Jim Bakker still a thing? I thought we already asked that question!

Right-wing pastor Jim Bakker interviewed televangelist Paula White, one of President Trump’s key spiritual advisers, on his television program today, where she declared that opposition to the president is opposition to God and explicitly praised Trump for not sounding or acting presidential.

“Thank goodness he’s not a polished politician. In other words: whether people like him or not, he’s been raised up by God because God says that He raises up and places all people in places of authority. It is God that raises up a king, it is God that sets one down and so when you fight against the plan of God, you’re fighting against the hand of God.”

Later in the show, when Paula White declared that Christians “were sent here to take over,” the host Jim Bakker excitedly agreed, asserting “that’s why we have the president we have!”

White then proceeded to sell “resurrection seeds” for $1144 - a price she claims was personally set by God.

At: http://www.nova-magazine.net/trump-spiritual-advisor-paula-white-when-you-oppose-president-trump-you-are-fighting-against-the-hand-of-god-video/

To quote Mayor Quimby from the Simpsons – “Are these morons getting louder or just dumber?”. The answer to that question is dumber! Well, to sum up this week in “Holy Shit”, there’s Kentucky governor Matt Bevin. How come Kentucky always elects the dumbest people known to man? They’re the state that gave us Rand Paul and Mitch McConnell for crying out loud! Well, Matt Bevin may be the stupidest of all, because he thinks that Charlottesville happened because – wait for it – Jesus!

In a radio interview on Tuesday, Kentucky Gov. Matt Bevin linked the recent violence at a white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, to the removal of Bible study from public schools, saying that the removal of “things that are biblically taught from society” is correlated with “the kind of mayhem” we saw in Charlottesville.

Bevin spoke on Tuesday with West Virginia radio host Tom Roten about the Charlottesville violence and efforts to remove Confederate monuments from public lands, which Bevin said was a “sanitization of history” that he “absolutely” disagrees with.

Bevin said that removing these monuments sets “a dangerous precedent” that we’re “not allowed to talk about certain elements of our history” and amounts to “revisionist history.”

He then appeared to allude to efforts to remove statues of Roger Taney, the Supreme Court justice who wrote the Dred Scott decision, as part of a slippery slope set by removing Confederate memorials. (Although Bevin did not name names, a statue of Taney was recently removed in Annapolis, Maryland.)
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/kentucky-gov-links-charlottesville-violence-to-removal-of-bible-study-from-schools/

And Paula White isn't just exhibit A in batshit crazy Trump Bible thumpers. I give you Rick Joyner, who is also convinced of this:

Somehow, despite his vulgarity, disrespect towards women, bragging about sexual assault, and nearly everything else about him, most conservative Christians still support Donald Trump and believe God sent him to “save America,” and that God will protect the president.

That’s exactly what far-right pastor Rick Joyner said in a video he posted on Facebook last Thursday.

He dismissed recent news that Robert Mueller had issued grand jury subpoenas for Trump’s financial records. And he had a warning: God will take out anyone who tries to take down President Trump.

“God's going to transform our news media; Trump isn’t going anywhere,” he said. “Watch everybody fall who goes after him. Watch it.”

“It’s because he has a divine purpose,” Joyner added. “God put him there, and only God is going to be able to take him out. You watch what happens to everyone else who tries. Watch what happens to our Congress, watch what happens to Republicans who are obstructionist and devious in their methods too - who claim to be one thing and turn out to be the opposite. Watch what God does in these days.”
https://www.usamagazine.net/pastor-rick-joyner-says-that-god-will-destroy-anyone-who-gets-in-the-way-of-donald-trump-video/

That’s it for this week in:





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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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Man on the street interviews have existed as long as TV has existed. Anyone remember back in the 90s when Jay Leno first pioneered a completely different kind of man on the street interview? It was called “Jaywalking” and it focused on people who knew nothing about the given subject. Now all the talk shows do it, and one of the best is Jimmy Kimmel’s “Lie Witness News”. Well, ultra far right conspiracy theorist and after model in a Bronzer informecial… hey, this was me *BEFORE* bronzer!, Alex Jones was in ultra liberal Seattle last week, and he attempted to do this exact style of MOTS interview, and well, failed spectacularly.

Alex Jones, the controversial conspiracy monger behind the website Infowars, has been in Seattle the last couple of days, roaming downtown, ranting in front of a camera and confronting hecklers.

Jones has been dismissed and denounced as a lunatic fringe element for his spreading of paranoiac conspiracy theories, such as the false claim that the 2012 massacre of 26 children and educators at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, was a hoax aimed at advancing a gun-control agenda. But since last year, Jones has been granted added prominence by President Donald Trump, who has praised Jones and tweeted links to Infowars articles.

On Friday morning, Jones had a Periscope video feed going as he denounced liberal Seattleites as robots and slaves and said the CIA was threatening to kill Trump. Jones was greeted with profane gestures and comments by some passers-by. He responded by chasing them down and demanding they talk on camera. A bicyclist refused, snapping a photo of Jones and saying he didn’t speak with racists.
http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/conspiracy-monger-alex-jones-met-with-tepid-welcome-in-seattle-as-passer-by-dumps-coffee-on-him/

Let’s roll the tape on this:

So why was Alex in Seattle? Well, it could have something to do with the fact that the alt right is trying to troll the city over its’ statue of former Russian dictator V.I. Lenin.

Far-right “Pizzagate” conspiracy theorist Jack Posobiec tweeted videos and photos Wednesday showing him leading a group of people protesting a Vladimir Lenin statue in Seattle.

Video shows Posobiec leading the group in a chant of “tear it down, tear it down” as the protesters — wearing “Make America Great Again” caps and holding placards bearing phrases like “Lenin is Hitler” and “Alt Left Hate” — marched around the statue.

It appears that about 7 people, including Posobiec, attended the demonstration.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/seattle-lenin-protest-jack-posobiec_us_59955bb3e4b0acc593e53b45

Well, getting back to Alex Jones for a minute – so if you saw the right wing blogs you’d see the coffee thrower painted as a “libtard attacking Alex Jones”. But the actual story on the other hand is way more incriminating then you would think:

The “Infowars” host marched through the streets of the Washington city while streaming on Periscope as pedestrians launched salvo at him.

Jones stopped to speak with one well-wisher about four minutes into the nearly 15-minute tirade when someone yelled, “You’re trash.”

That set the reputed Sandy Hook Massacre denier off, and he charged at the man, who was carrying a thermos of coffee.

“Hey, hey come tell me on camera,” Jones shouted. Come here, coward. Right here on camera … tell people intellectually who you are.”

Jones was splashed with the brewed beverage while arguing with a man in Seattle — and the caffeinated incident was captured on video.

“Intellectually who I am? I’m your mama,” he responded.

Jones turned to his cameraman to say the man was a “slave to the system.”
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/alex-jones-doused-coffee-seattle-graphic-language-article-1.3425761

To which Alex responded with his usual message of “violent leftists” :

Link to tweet

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! So my favorite part of this whole thing is that even the Seattle police got in on trolling Alex Jones. Because you know when blowhards like Jones get taken down a peg or two it’s always fun to watch!

Whatever the opposite of a red carpet is, that’s what the people of Seattle rolled out for Infowars’ resident “performance artist” Alex Jones when he took to the streets of their city to opportunistically pretend to care about the victims of last week’s terror attacks in Spain to make some sort of ill-conceived, poorly argued Islamophobic point. There’s some debate over whether Jones hired actors to provoke him on the street in order to advance the “we’re the real victims here” narrative being pushed by the right, but if he did, wow did he make himself look like an idiot in the process.

The first two minutes of the video are practically unbearable as Jones rants about how the wording of USA Today headlines are personally attacking him, but things pick up 2 minutes and 20 seconds in, as this self-proclaimed alpha male is so bothered by a clearly bemused young man who flips him off on the street that he chases him for half a block. ”You’re an intellectual dumbass who watches mainstream media,” Jones yells as the guy walks away, laughing. Next up is a man since identified as Jake Stratton, a local wrestler and heavy metal singer, who throws “hot coffee” on Jones in what one could definitely argue is a staged attack.
http://www.avclub.com/article/seattle-police-department-joined-its-citys-trollin-259697

Oh and by the way in case you want to know what Alex does in his free time, he recently discovered the fidget spinner:

And here’s an isolate audio of the music he was listening to:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

So of course you know by now thanks to Depeche Mode’s famous song, people are people, and people are dumb. So who’s stupid this week? Well, this week it’s mostly all Florida. Because of course it is, and you can always count on Florida to turn the crazy up way past 11. One of my favorite categories of stories like this is fast food rage. I love a good fast food rage story and here’s one out of Delray Beach:

DELRAY BEACH, Fla. - A Delray Beach man wasn't happy that a nearby McDonald's didn't have any ice cream, so he pulled out a replica AR-15 rifle while he waited in the drive-thru line, police said.

Jerry Henry was arrested Monday after the incident at the McDonald's on Linton Boulevard.

Delray Beach police said Henry was a passenger in a car at the drive-thru when the driver, who was ordering food at the intercom, became upset with the employee who was taking his order.

According to a probable cause affidavit, the driver, identified as Michael Delhomme, was upset because the ice cream machine wasn't working.
https://www.click2houston.com/news/mcdonalds-drive-thru-passenger-pulls-out-replica-ar-15-rifle-after-ice-cream-dispute

Why does this story remind me of this guy?

Somehow I don’t think I’ll be going to Whammy Burger any time soon. But while on the subject of fast food rage, we’re going to tell you about a crazy story from my neck of the woods, Hollywood, California where these two loaded drunk women went CRAZY and destroyed an Uber driver’s car among other atrocities committed at the In N Out on Sunset Blvd:

A rowdy pair of Uber riders reportedly damaged their driver’s car during a late-night In-N-Out run in Hollywood on Saturday night. And as CBS Los Angeles shows, much of it was caught on camera.

The incident happened well into the evening on August 19, when two women requested a ride from Uber. Driver Travis Cole answered the request and picked up the two women outside of a Hollywood bar. The pair seemed intoxicated, Cole tells CBS, and things pretty quickly fell apart. At least one of the women allegedly threw up in the backseat, prompting Cole to force the whole car out at the In-N-Out in Hollywood along Sunset Boulevard.

From there, the duo got into a number of different altercations with bystanders and onlookers, and even took to Cole’s car, smashing his windshield with the heel of a shoe and causing plenty of other damage — in addition to that backseat vomit. Police arrived on the scene, arresting the women and posting bail of $20,000 apiece.
https://la.eater.com/2017/8/22/16184784/uber-hollywood-in-n-out-crime-video

We won’t show the video here, but it is CRAZY. So what’s next for the never ending shortage of stupid people? Well we’re sticking with the Sunshine State, and what about drugs? You know, maybe don’t bring drugs into the classroom? We can all agree on that right?

A sheriff’s deputy arrested a woman outside a Florida middle school after he allegedly spotted her chopping up and using cocaine while waiting in the parent pick-up line Tuesday.

The Lee County deputy said he was patrolling Lexington Middle School just before 4 p.m. when he saw 39-year-old Christina Hester snort the drug off the screen of her iPhone with a straw, according to WFTX.

The deputy took Hester to his office where he arrested her. A field test later determined that half a gram of white powder found in her purse was cocaine, according to WFT
http://wgntv.com/2017/08/16/woman-arrested-for-snorting-cocaine-in-parent-pick-up-line-at-florida-school/

And then next out of Florida – upskirt photos! Yeah guys, maybe don’t do this! Just don’t.

Authorities say a Florida man took photographs up a woman’s skirt while at a popular coffee establishment.

Justin Buck, 48, of Tampa, allegedly took several photographs up a 21-year-old woman’s skirt at a Starbucks in Palm Harbor on Monday, according to WFTS.

Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office deputies responded to the coffee shop after a Starbucks employee reported seeing Buck take the photographs under a table.
http://www.statesman.com/news/crime--law/florida-man-admits-taking-photos-woman-skirt-starbucks/Ij3RDgRXWEK6zHQwubJKrI/

No, Tony Stark isn’t Florida Man. What next? How about the Illuminati right? Well, maybe you don’t use this as an excuse for why you stole some shit:

A Florida man arrested yesterday for stealing items from a Kmart told police that the “Illuminati made me do it.”

Brian Isola, 30, was busted Thursday morning for allegedly trying to boost items worth $320 from a store in Vero Beach.

After reportedly being caught in the act by a patrolman, Isola initially blamed his travails on the Illuminati, the shadowy international organization that runs the world in conjunction with the Rockefellers, George Soros, the Bilderberg Group, and Jay-Z.
http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/kmart-illuminati-395017

What’s next? How about one of my favorite categories – stupid people and police officers? There’s this story out of Texas where a woman assaulted a police officer and said he was “hot”:

AUSTIN -- A woman who was arrested Friday on outstanding warrants picked up another charge for allegedly grabbing the genitals of a University of Texas police officer and calling him ‘hot.’.

According to the affidavit, Bonnie Fay Terraciano, 43, was loitering outside of a CVS drug store at 2200 Guadalupe St. when the officer approached her at about 11 p.m. and asked about an open can of beer sitting next to her.

When a background search revealed Terraciano had outstanding warrants for public intoxication and interfering with a roadway, she was arrested and placed in the back seat of the officer’s vehicle, an arrest report says. But the woman fell over and landed on the ground. As the officer assisted her back into the vehicle, the affidavit says Terraciano grabbed him and twisted.
http://www.statesman.com/news/crime--law/report-woman-charged-with-groping-police-officer-said-was-hot/nVI2WJnpqsFZMRKZi7cowO/

Finally this week – racism! Yes the stupidest among us are also the most racist! And none is more evident than this guy out of Florida. Because hey it’s Florida!

A faded pillow with the flag's print sits on the porch chair of his quirky urban farm in south Tampa, an area known more for craft beers and gluten free brunch. He's got a sticker with the red and blue battle flag and the words "I ain't coming down" affixed near the shopworn light switch in the building that holds his farm's free-range eggs. And in his barn, there's a cloth flag near a sign that says, "COW COUNTRY watch your step."

But the flag he's proudest of sits about 17 miles away, at the corners of Interstates 4 and 75.

It's the centerpiece of the Confederate Memorial Park, a small sliver of privately owned land.

Read more: http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-florida-man-proud-of-his-enormous-confederate-flag-says-he-s-not-racist-20170818-story.html

That’s it this week for:

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]World Tour Destination #11: Czech Republic
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Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. So if you want a recap of where we’ve been so far, we’re just about done touring all of Europe. The last two weeks we visited Scandinavia, where Norway is a little bit racist, and in Sweden – just about anything goes, including the nation’s cyber security laws, and The Netherlands has a serious case of food poisoning. Here’s the tour schedule:



[font size="6"]Czech Republic[/font]



Folks this is it! It’s our final stop in Europe. Then it’s on to Africa, South America, North America, and then to Asia. So we come to the last stop in Europe for the first leg of our World Tour 2017. The Czech Republic. The Czech Republic is one of the oldest countries in Europe and the home to tons of historical sites and wonders, such as the Prague Astronomical, a 600 year old mechanical clock that has kept time continuously for the last 600 years. Dude, I cant even keep time for 5 minutes! It’s also the home to tons of ancient wonders and castles, and very creepy gothic-looking churches and buildings. You could easily do some low budget horror movies and set them in Prague, and you wouldn’t have to pay set maintenance fees. The Czech Republic is also the home of a very unique sport – kickball. And no I’m not talking about the kind of kickball they made you play in gym class where it’s basically baseball with a giant rubber ball that could kill you. No, it’s more a combination of soccer, volleyball, and tennis – the net is low, and so is the kicking! So what else is the Czech Republic the home of? Why they’re the home of some of the strictest gun control in the EU!

The European Union’s plans to restrict gun ownership are nonsensical, undermine people’s trust in the EU and have a negative impact on the internal security of the Czech Republic, Interior Minister Milan Chovanec said.

The Czech Republic filed a lawsuit against a new European Union directive tightening gun ownership, aimed at limiting access to semi-automatic and other weapons after deadly Islamist attacks in Western Europe.

The European Parliament and EU interior ministers gave a final nod to the changes earlier this year despite the Czech Republic, Luxembourg and Poland voicing opposition.

The Czech Interior Ministry said the directive was too harsh, affecting, for example, thousands of hunters – a popular activity with a long tradition in the central European country.
https://www.euractiv.com/section/politics/news/eu-gun-control-push-undermines-trust-in-eu-czech-minister-claims/

Yes that joke never gets old! So what else is the country formerly known as Czechoslovakia? Remember that gigantic data breach in Sweden that we talked about a couple of weeks ago? Well the Czech Republic was one of the biggest victims of it!

HELSINKI -- A security leak in Sweden in 2015 is causing reverberations in the Scandinavian country two years later with Prime Minister Stefan Lofven saying it was "a disaster," exposing the nation to harm.

The breach, first reported on last week, provided confidential information abroad allowing IT workers, including in the Czech Republic, to access Swedish government and police databases when the Transport Agency decided to outsource some of its services. Although officials gave little detail about the leak, it made the country vulnerable to possible further cyberattacks.

"What happened was an accident... it was a complete failure and is very serious," Lofven told reporters Monday. "It was in breach of the law and exposed Sweden and Swedish citizens to harm."
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/swedish-pm-stefan-lofven-2015-security-leak-disaster/

But some good news is that the Ukraine continues to get fucked over by Putin a lot in his quest for global domination, but at least the Czech Republic will help them out…. ?

Ukraine can continue to rely on the support of the Czech Republic in defending its territorial integrity and deepening its relations with the EU, Ukrainian Ambassador to the Czech Republic Yevhen Perebyinis has said.

The diplomat wrote this on Facebook after a working meeting with Czech Deputy Foreign Minister Jakub Durr.

"I had an extremely friendly and fruitful working meeting with Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Czech Republic Jakub Durr. We managed to discuss a number of urgent and important issues for both sides, from the priorities of EU-Ukraine cooperation to the issues of confronting Russian aggression in Ukraine, Russia's violation of human rights, including in the occupied Crimea, and sanctions," Perebyinis wrote.
https://www.ukrinform.net/rubric-polytics/2286942-ukraine-can-rely-on-czech-republics-support-ambassador.html

I like that one! Now let’s talk about their neighbors Slovakia for a minute. You know neo Nazis are on everyone’s minds at the moment because of the clusterfuck that happened in Charlottesville. But if there’s one place that Nazis are actually taking over, it’s in Slovakia!

BANSKA BYSTRICA, Slovakia – Nestled in a valley at the foot of the Low Tatras mountains, this city of 80,000 in central Slovakia is more than just the home of far-right firebrand Marian Kotleba.

In 1940 around 10 percent of the population of Banksa Bystrica was Jewish. Most of the community worshipped on the southwest edge of town at a synagogue that backed onto a small creek, which provided water for the mikveh (ritual bath).

But by 1948 Banska Bystrica’s remaining Jews formed less than 1 percent of the town’s population. As more and more of the community left for Israel in the ensuing years, the local synagogue fell into disrepair, and was used as a warehouse until it was destroyed in 1983.
read more: http://www.haaretz.com/world-news/europe/.premium-1.806841

Needs a few more NEINs! So what about Slovakia makes this country so appealing to the extreme far right? Well despite that they’ve been BANNED from the country, they keep going after it, kind of like how Charlie Brown attempts to kick the football, only to have Lucy pull it away!

Ruzomberok, Slovakia - When 68-year-old Jan Bencik's son created a Facebook account for him after he retired four years ago, he saw little reason to log in, save for boredom. Just over a year ago, however, he discovered a way to make social media useful: tracking and doxing Slovakia's far right.

On a frigid afternoon in March, the retiree steps into a local pizza parlour and shakes the snow off his winter coat. He takes a seat on a sofa in the corner of the room, removes his laptop from its leather case and flips it open.

The former phone technician and publishing house employee opens a folder on his desktop, pulling up screenshots of social media posts, most of them since deleted, by far-right social media users.
http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2017/05/fighting-slovakia-online-streets-170529083248638.html

[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

This was one of the hardest countries to find any political dirt on because there really isn’t much out there – this is about as close to a liberal utopia as you can get. But be sure to visit before Putin does!

Tourism: B
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: C
Liberal Appeal: A +

Overall: A-

Now that’s the Czech Republic. If we were to grade their neighbors - who are very much a part of Czech’s political spectrum, where neo Nazis are fast on the rise…

Tourism: C-
Culture: B
Political Spectrum: D-
Liberal Appeal: D

Grade: D-

Yeah, visit the Czech Republic for sure, but don’t visit Slovakia!

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

Next week we’re finally leaving Europe and heading way down south to the land of the safari and wild outdoor adventures, South Africa! And also apartheid.



[font size="8"]And Now This:
311[/font]


Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been waiting quite a while to have this next musical guest on, and I saw them live last week! Their Unity tour with New Politics is over, but man it was an awesome show! They have an amazing new album out called “Mosaic”. Playing their song called “Perfect Mistake”, give it up for 311!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!

[malaise]

1. Just finished reading this

Brilliant as usual - what a labor of love

[Initech]

2. There's really too much news right now!

It's almost impossible to keep up!

[malaise]

3. It's crazy - non-stop

and now add a major hurricane to that.

[dembotoz]

4. but you do

[malaise]

5. And in detail

I couldn't do this every week

[Initech]

6. That's why I usually post on Wednesday.

I get about 1/2 done on Monday and 1/2 done on Tuesday. Mondays are usually my slowest days so it gives me more time to work on the Top 10.

[malaise]

7. You deserve an award

for quality and consistency

[dembotoz]

8. i think top 10 conservative idiots really set the hook for me

an earlier incarnation.....
cause i could not miss an edition....sort of like the sunday cats
remains one of the best things here

[Initech]

9. That's why I brought it back!

But that of course was before Trump when there were maybe 1 or 2 articles per story. Now there's 15 articles per story and they're all crazy. It's nuts!

[community]

10. Brilliant as usual

Brilliant as usual - what a labor of love