Poor "Bob" from Microsoft scam has been replaced by Siri voice.

[dixiegrrrrl]

JUST got a recorded call from a robot woman's voice. incorrect grammar and all, about Microsoft Windows problem, they want me to call THEM to speak to a member of their "security team".

I will miss screwing with "Bob"'s calls.

and IRS is suing me, says another robot voice. Have to call them back, too.

It is only Tuesday.

[sharp_stick]

1. Those robocalls suck

There's no satisfaction in yelling at or hanging up on a robot. My wife did get to play with a real "Microsoft Security Technician"...Bob I assume a few months ago.

In addition to the IRS sending the cops for me the latest are a series of high pitched hyper women trying to tell me that because I stayed at one of their resorts in the last year I am eligible for a great promotion.

Another is telling me that I qualify for a great government program to help me pay off student loans that were paid off more than a decade ago.

[zipplewrath]

2. Reduced credit card debt

I keep getting the calls to reduce my credit card debt. When I get a chance, I always ask "how much lower than zero can you drive it?"

[MurrayDelph]

11. For a while I

would quiz "Bob" on how they were able to detect and trace my computer, but I figured why should I help them get better at scamming people.

Then I started trying to shame them with "Does your family know that you are trying to steal money from elderly people in America? Do you think they would feel honor for what you do? Why don't you find a job that won't bring dishonor on your family?"

Once or twice, I would listen to his spiel and then counter with "So. Whatcha wearin'?" That one flummoxed "Bob" who tried to continue, so I would say "my computer is fine. I'm trying to give you a chance to earn some money honestly." (I used to be a SysAdmin for a phone sex company).

The Fast-talker telling me I stayed at their resort, I would just hang up on. You can't mind-fuck artificial intelligence. Yet.

After a while, I got bored of the whole thing, and enabled my phone company's protection, which announces that we do not take telemarketing calls, and to continue they need to press 1. So far, the demon-dialers haven't learned to get around that.

[MurrayDelph]

13. I forgot the most-important part

When they would call, if they started the conversation with "Mr. Delph?" the correct response is "who wants to know?"

You never say yes to these scumbags, in case they are recording the call, and would edit your yes into giving them permission to rip you off.

[CurtEastPoint]

3. You will fall and need help. Press 1 to talk to Mrs. Fucking Fletcher or whatever.

[dixiegrrrrl]

7. I can't push 1, I fell.

My favorite sales call, from a real live person yet, happened late last year....
I was recovering from surgery for cancer, and got a call selling funeral plots.
Seized the moment, acted all hysterical, demanded who told her I had cancer, did my husband put her up to this, he has always been after my money, does she know something I don't know , did the doctor tell her I was gonna die...on and on.
She was totally seriously mortified and torn between apologizing and wanting to hang up.

best laff of the year.
I miss real sales calls when I am in the mood to play......

[csziggy]

9. That's wonderful! You should have recorded it

And put it on YouTube. Sometimes I listen to the videos of people screwing with telemarketers and scammers.

My two favorites - some IT guy got a new "Microsoft Security" specialist to lock the BIOS on the boss's laptop which happened to be the server for the entire operation; a British kid turned the computer access program around and wiped the hard drive of the "Microsoft Security" specialist's computer.

Of course this is the classic:

[dixiegrrrrl]

10. wiped the hard drive of the "Microsoft Security" specialist's computer.

OMG...I have to know more about that.....do you remember where you found that????
Too too rich for wards.

[csziggy]

12. Here you go

If you watch the video on YouTube there are other examples of that being done in the suggested videos at the side. They can be great fun.

[hunter]

4. I got a "Microsoft" call just past 11 o'clock at night.

I think the fellow was a little peeved at me for fucking with him twelve hours previously. Normally I wouldn't have answered but I was expecting a call from my wife.

But it's absolutely the truth, just what I told him, I won't touch anything Microsoft unless someone is paying me, and maybe not even then.

[lpbk2713]

5. Damn. Now I can't tie up their phone or the caller.

"I want to know more about this but can you hold on for just a moment? I'm cooking something and I have to go turn off the stove."


Before they could reply I'd lay the phone down quietly and check back a few minutes later.

[NurseJackie]

6. I use the "Mr. Number" app on my Samsung phone, and...

... it intercepts about 99.5% of the scam calls. On our home phone, we use "Nomorobo" by simul-ringing the Nomorobo service. If they detect a blocked caller ID or a known scammer caller ID, they'll intercept the call. It's about 98% effective.

The only downside to both of these services is that we always hear the first ring. But I'd rather hear one ring that's intercepted instead of having to answer and hang up on all these robocalls.

It's insane.

[peggysue2]

8. I received . . .

a Microsoft alert from presumably MS 'Tech Support' by email this morning. Did a quick scam search and dumped the disingenuous alert. Lots of scamming out there. Beware.