What causes extreme levels of clueless apathy towards the have- nots?

[luvMIdog]

I remember once I knew an college student /acquaintance that came over to visit me in my home one day. She was extremely upset because her parents had bought her a lovely car of fine quality. The reason she was so upset was because they had bought her sister a Jaguar and according to her "just look at that piece of shit they gave me". She was really sobbing about it. Sat there and cried for an hour. I listened .. I was trying to understand.. trying to be empathetic.. it was hard. Sitting in my driveway was a beat up old long yellow car with dents and those gray patches on it. You know those gray patches they put before they are supposed to repaint? It never got the repaint LOL. The air conditioning in my car didn't work either & one of the windows was broken & I had kids . It never even dawned on her that my car looked like someone pulled it out of a junk yard And she was crying and crying about this beautiful new car that she wasn't even going to have to make payments on. I look back at that now and it makes me chuckle.
When I lived overseas I was not like the poor locals there I had money they did not have, so I had water every day. They lived without this luxury. One woman used to walk miles with her children with empty plastic soda liters and ask me if she could fill them up with some of my water & then she hauled those miles back home. Every morning I wake up I say " I have all this lovely clean and available water. I am fortunate." That's because so many people in this world are deprived of that very basic need & the glorious gift of water.

Why would someone not wish food, water, shelter, and healthcare for everyone if they are fortunate enough to have it for themselves? I will never be able to understand the comments made by the right and the way they think about impoverished people. I try to understand why they view themselves as being superior and the less fortunate as lazy/worthless. I try to understand why they do no understand that their whole lives could change and they could become just like that unfortunate person. I do not understand why they credit their money as making them superior when all of that in life is often a stroke of luck and circumstance. I try, but I will never understand where the superiority and apathy come from.

[hedda_foil]

1. As far as they're concerned, the rest of us are, as they say, useless eaters.

And what we're eating should be theirs, so we're selfish and greedy to boot.

[Ilsa]

4. First World Problems.

I'd love to feed them some stuff I've eaten, but I bet they'd turn their noses up:
I've eaten liver (beef) but they'd insist on foie gras.
I've eaten squirrel, but they'd insist on pheasant.
I've eaten all manner of "trash fish" while they insisted on caviar.

I know I've complained about my parents' generosity to others as well, and I'm alive and drinking clean water, breathing clean air, not going hungry, and I'm sheltered and clothed, but they have their reasons and it's their money.

[elleng]

2. Neither to I understand, luveMI,

but seems there is a fair number of https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.138818765.0581/flat,800x800,075,f.jpg happening around here.

[jalan48]

3. She has the sense of entitlement common to many with money. It's all about her.

[KeepItReal]

5. "But dad, it's a '318'!!"

I saw a teenager lose it over dad deigning to give her a lowly brand new BMW 318 in the dealership.

She probably didn't know the difference between a dual overhead cam 4 versus and inline 6, but she knew a 318 wasn't a 325 or a 5 series.

My buddy who was looking for a pre-owned vehicle (thanks to the magic of depreciation) and I just looked at each other and shook our heads.

Our parents would have marched us outta there, sans Bimmer, and suggested we fund our own whips, then.

As they should.

[Sugar Smack]

6. I hear you-"poor talking" chafes me, too.

We all seem to get our expectations of life ahead of us early on. It makes me uncomfortable when someone who CLEARLY has had every advantage given to them/or was born with them turns to me for "comfort". I've seen so much of what you're talking about I never let it slide any more. I call them on it because I can't with a straight face listen to "poor talk" any more.

[Yupster]

7. Maybe it wasn't the car she was complaining about

Maybe if dad had bought her sister the same car she wouldn't have complained. Maybe she was complaining that dad was treating her sister better than her. Maybe she feels that dad always treats her sister better than her. I hear that a lot. Especially with blended families.

Who knows?

[usedtobedemgurl]

11. I thought this exact same thing.

It rings true since that is how my ex treats our younger son compared to the older one.

[marylandblue]

8. Most don't compare themself to humanity as a whole

But to people they consider peers. Kings compare themselves to other kings, not to members of their court. Rich people compare themselves to other rich people, not to poor people. Americans compare themselves to other Americans, not to starving people in Sudan.

It's part of our tribal nature. We look at status within our own tribe because that's how you get the admiration and the perks. The other tribes may be enemies or allies, but they are not "our kind."

[vlyons]

9. They lack compassion

In Buddhism, we have this concept called "boddhicitta," which is the aspiration that everyone can be happy and never have any suffering. In our meditation, we generate that aspiration for others, for everyone. It never occurs to most people, that all of us are suffering about something. That life is difficult and filled with obstacles and disappointments for everyone. Most people are so wrapped up in themselves, their own desires and needs, that it never occurs to them to be generous, kind, and helpful to others. It's a form of ignorance. That young woman with the new car made herself unhappy, angry and resentful through her negative emotions of envy and anger. She has not yet learned to tame her negative emotions. She could have taken a different point of view, and been grateful for her new car. Then she would have been happy, if not joyous.

There's not much we can do about such people. We cannot change them. They can only change themselves. Even if you told her that she's making herself miserable, would she have heard it? Change is very painful, because we have to first acknowledge that our habitual way of being is not making things better or us happy.

[WinkyDink]

10. Hatred, not apathy, IMO, from fear of becoming like them: poor.

[ChoppinBroccoli]

12. Because One Trait I've Found Almost Universal Among RW'ers.........

.........is that they're completely unable to imagine people having lives that are the least bit different from their own. They're unable to put themselves in anyone else's shoes. They grew up in a middle class household where they were loved and educated and didn't want for the basics in life, and therefore they assume that EVERYONE does. That's what makes it so easy for them to shower hatred upon people who are less fortunate. They assume that those people had all the same opportunities they did, and made a conscious decision to NOT take advantage of them. That's why you hear them say things like, "There are plenty of jobs out there, so if you're poor, it just means you're lazy," and, "If you don't like your lot in life, just go back to school and get more education." Because it was just that easy for THEM, therefore it must be just that easy for EVERYONE.

The other problem I've found is that they all "know someone" who is taking advantage of the system. Everyone has one of those stories about a deadbeat cousin or neighbor or friend-of-a-friend who is perfectly able to work, but just chooses not to because they are defrauding the welfare system. They all either know someone or (more often) they know someone who knows someone (it's often second- or third-hand knowledge), and just assume that EVERYONE who is on welfare is committing fraud. You think I'm wrong? I guarantee you I'm not. When I've had conversations with these people and tell them that there's an incidence of less than 10% of welfare recipients committing welfare fraud, they will flat-out tell you you're wrong, and that that number has GOTTA be closer to 50% or even 75% (I actually had someone tell me this).

And it's not just on this issue. Ever notice how RW'ers are against any kind of minority rights UNTIL they discover their son is gay, or something similar? And how they're 100% any kind of gun control whatsoever UNTIL a member of their family gets killed? And how they love to vote for "hanging judges" UNTIL a member of their family (or they themselves) have to appear in front of these judges. They are totally unable to see past their ideology unless and until it affects them personally. They will never be able to understand the, "You know, with just a few changed circumstances, that could very easily be YOU being homeless/needing welfare/whatever" argument, because in their minds, it never will be. And everyone in the world is exactly like themselves.