BREAKING: Girl Scouts required to sign Trump loyalty oath before selling this year's cookies

[Miles Archer]

Breaking news, so no link yet.

Girl Scouts required to sign Trump loyalty oath before selling this year's cookies



CNN, WASHINGTON DC: President Donald Trump signed an executive order late this afternoon requiring all members of the Girl Scouts of America to sign a loyalty oath to Donald J Trump before being allowed to sell cookies.

When asked about the oath, Trump replied "Would YOU buy a cookie from someone you can't trust? Even Mitt Romney questions cookies that are GIVEN to him before eating them. This is what I promised the millions of voters who put their confidence in me last November, when I won the Electoral College vote in a landslide, and the popular vote as well, if you don't count the millions of dead illegal aliens who were fraudulently registered to vote. I had the single largest turnout at my Inauguration in U.S. Presidential history. Were you watching it live on TV?"

When asked about the duration of the loyalty oath, the President replied "It's a binding agreement for my first two terms, and I have an executive order on my desk that I will be signing this weekend at the New Jersey White House in Bedminster that will abolish the twenty second amendment, so it will last through my third and fourth terms as well. I'll be 86 years old at then end of my fourth term and ready to pass the torch to either Don Jr., Eric, or Ivanka, as stipulated in the terms of my executive order. So for now it only covers the next 16 years, but when we draw closer to that date, I might sign an additional executive order to extend it."

The Girl Scouts of America could not be reached for comment.

[Chasstev365]

1. Deutschland Uber Allies!

[elleng]

2. Sounds onion-ish to me.

Girl Scout cookies were sold here weeks ago; it's over for this year.

[Miles Archer]

4. I wrote it, and...

...part of the deliberate, inherent stupidity was that I didn't bother to check the dates.

[Control-Z]

3. Satire? n/t

[Brother Buzz]

5. Poe's law is strong with this one.

Poe's law is an adage of Internet culture that states that, without a clear indicator of the author's intent, it is impossible to create a parody of extreme views so obviously exaggerated that it cannot be mistaken by some readers or viewers as a sincere expression of the parodied views

Well done

[Miles Archer]

8. Yeah, I'm kind of shocked that folks are asking if it's satire

I thought it would be blindingly obvious..I was just channeling the inner Borowitz, ya know? I guess these are the times we live in, because it could happen.

[Brother Buzz]

9. To be a fly on the wall when Borowitz et al. are brainstorming is on my bucket list.

Hell, I'd even spring for the donuts.

[procon]

6. I regret opening this thread. nt

[Me.]

7. REAlly Should Give An Indication, Somewhere, That This Is Satire

[treestar]

10. LOL!

King Donald of Orange! Crown Princess Ivanka!

[lpbk2713]

11. Trump should be prohibited from any involvement with Girl Scouts

Or females of any age for that matter. His record speaks for itself.