2019: Former Republican House Member Applies for Job as Used Car Salesman
Dealership Owner: So, I have to ask. What experience do you have in sales?
Congressman: Well, I've been selling complete bullshit to people for 16 years, so selling cars can't be that different.
Dealer: Well, we sell used cars. They sometimes have problems. How will you get past those problems.
Congressman: Same answer, really. I'm used to glossing over problems when I talk to people.
Dealer: Due to the nature of our clientele, our car loans don't have the best interest rates. How would you handle that?
Congressman: Hell, man, I've been selling useless budget expenditures forever. I'll just talk low monthly payments, and leave it at that.
Dealer: We count on our salesmen to work their friends and acquaintances and sell to them. Can you do that?
Congressman: Look, I've sold myself to my constituents over and over again. I know how to sell crap to anyone.
Dealer: I think you're just the man I'm looking for. You're hired!
Congressman: Say, thanks. By the way, I can only work three days a week. I have several other grifting jobs.
Dealer: No problem. You'll be working on commission, so come in when it's convenient. Just sell cars, and you'll do fine!