Middle-Schooler Who Wrote G.O.P. Health-Care Bill Claims He Has Not Been Paid

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The middle-school student who wrote the Republican health-care bill that was unveiled earlier in the week complained on Friday that he still has not been paid for his work.

Kevin Tenco, a seventh grader from House Speaker Paul Ryan’s congressional district, in Wisconsin, said that Ryan hired him two weeks ago to write the American Health Care Act with the promise that it “wouldn’t be too much work” and that he would be paid handsomely for his effort.

“He said I would get paid, like, five hundred dollars, and I could buy a Nintendo Switch,” Tenco said.

Taking Ryan at his word, the thirteen-year-old, from Twin Lakes, Wisconsin, “pulled several all-nighters” to complete the health-care bill in time for its Monday unveiling.

http://www.newyorker.com/?p=3324278&mbid=nl_031017 Borowitz Newsletter (1)&CNDID=25394153&spMailingID=10595698&spUserID=MTMzMTgyNjg0NzM5S0&spJobID=1120825919&spReportId=MTEyMDgyNTkxOQS2

[longship]

1. Love Andy Borowitz!

R&

[ProudLib72]

2. If he gets paid

and invests that $500 now, by the time the act is finally passed he will be worth as much as tRump claims he is.

[eppur_se_muova]

3. Not buying his claims. One all-nighter at absolute most.

And that was only because he procrastinated.