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Onion: Lindsey Graham Cowers Behind Tree Trunk As Trumps Hunting Dogs Close In
Lindsey Graham Cowers Behind Tree Trunk As Trump’s Hunting Dogs Close In
Exhausted and barely able to stand, Sen. Lindsey Graham can only listen in terror as the yelping from President Trump’s hounds grows louder and louder.
http://www.theonion.com/article/lindsey-graham-cowers-behind-tree-trunk-trumps-hun-55148?utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing
GREENVILLE, SC—After 36 hours on the run through the woodlands of South Carolina, a bloodied and exhausted Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) reportedly cowered behind the trunk of a willow tree Wednesday as President Donald Trump’s vicious hunting dogs closed in on him.
According to sources, Graham has spent the past day and night wading across frigid creeks, slogging into fetid swampland, and crashing through thickets of thorny brambles in an effort to evade Trump’s pack of hounds, but he has not been able to shake the president’s determined hunting party.
“Please, God, let me make it out of here alive,” the 61-year-old senator whispered to himself, trying to quiet his ragged breathing as the animals frantically searched the ground just above the hollow where he lay hiding. “Please.”
“If I can just make it to Virginia, (former Rep.) Scott (Rigell) will help me—he has to,” added Graham, apparently unaware the same dogs had ripped the recently retired Republican congressman to pieces a few days prior in reprisal for calling Trump a “con man” during the presidential campaign.
Exhausted and barely able to stand, Sen. Lindsey Graham can only listen in terror as the yelping from President Trump’s hounds grows louder and louder.
http://www.theonion.com/article/lindsey-graham-cowers-behind-tree-trunk-trumps-hun-55148?utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing
GREENVILLE, SC—After 36 hours on the run through the woodlands of South Carolina, a bloodied and exhausted Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) reportedly cowered behind the trunk of a willow tree Wednesday as President Donald Trump’s vicious hunting dogs closed in on him.
According to sources, Graham has spent the past day and night wading across frigid creeks, slogging into fetid swampland, and crashing through thickets of thorny brambles in an effort to evade Trump’s pack of hounds, but he has not been able to shake the president’s determined hunting party.
“Please, God, let me make it out of here alive,” the 61-year-old senator whispered to himself, trying to quiet his ragged breathing as the animals frantically searched the ground just above the hollow where he lay hiding. “Please.”
“If I can just make it to Virginia, (former Rep.) Scott (Rigell) will help me—he has to,” added Graham, apparently unaware the same dogs had ripped the recently retired Republican congressman to pieces a few days prior in reprisal for calling Trump a “con man” during the presidential campaign.
2 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
= new reply since forum marked as read
Always well worth an R&
our dear Lindsey is going to miss his mint julep this afternoon! (said in the voice of Jon Stewart) 
