What would you do if President Trump showed up at your front door?

[Rollo]

What would you do if President Trump showed up at your front door?

1) Invite him in
2) Slam the door in his face
3) Berate him for his latest tweet
4) Refuse to open the door
5) Call Vlad and tell him his dog is loose

[sinkingfeeling]

1. Slam the door.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Turn off all the lights and hide.

Kind of like I do when the Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses show up.

[True Dough]

52. I still have memories

of being about 5 or 6 years of age and having my other usher my sister and I under the dining room table, which was next to a window not far from the front door. She told us to sit still and be quiet. We heeded her words (highly unusual) and heard a knock at the door. My mom stood at the door but did not answer it. There was another knock and then we heard footsteps down the front steps.

Naturally my sister and I were curious and a bit worried about what was happening. I can't remember my mom's explanation at the time but I learned as I grew up later that it was the Jehovah's Witnesses who tried to pay a visit.

Now, as an adult, I courteously but firmly tell them I'm not interested. I always get a kick out of those types trying to start the conversation by pointing to Syria or terrorist acts and saying, "Isn't this the scariest of times to be alive?" I always tell them that we were lucky not to be around during WWI or WWII or the Black Plague or the Crusades, and many other terrifying eras. By comparison we've lived through a walk in the park. Now, that may all change on Jan. 20...

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

68. My hub and I once saw the Mormons coming up the walk

and it was too late to do anything but flatten ourselves out on the floor under the front window so they couldn't see us. It was summer so the front door was open; only the screen door was separating us from them. They knocked and rang the bell and finally went away, but I wonder if they could hear our stifled laughter...

[True Dough]

70. Even if they did pick up on your failed attempts to suppress your laughter

all they could do is pray for your lost souls. Not so bad, eh?

[WhiteTara]

3. Spit in his eye.

[Angry Dragon]

4. I would ask him why he was slumming and talk to him on the deck.................

[11 Bravo]

5. Politely explain to him why he was not welcome on my property; and then ...

tell him, "Leave, or I will remove you from the premises myself".

[LeftofObama]

6. Call the police and have him arrested for trespassing.

[mnhtnbb]

40. Yes!

[leftynyc]

7. Call the police

and tell them a very deranged person was at my door and wouldn't go away.

[benld74]

8. Projectile vomit to his orangeness

[Charles Bukowski]

9. I definitely wouldn't slam the door on him, much as I'd want to

No sudden movements like that. I'm not getting shot for anyone.

I'd refuse to open the door. Maybe I'd yell "get off my property, you piece of shit" from the other side of the door. But that's it.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

10. I would try to convince him it is better to love your neighbor than to hate him.

[Vinca]

11. Have him arrested for trespassing on my property.

[First Speaker]

12. I would probably invite him in...

...and ask why he was there, at my house...and if it was at all possible, I'd try to be polite and get him involved in a dialogue. He lives so much in a box, in which only his solipsism exists, that any attempt to get him to realize that the rest of the Universe is real might make a slight, tiny difference in how he sees his fellow Americans. And even a little difference might do a small amount of good to someone, somewhere.

[Charles Bukowski]

34. All psychopaths live in a box.

[MANative]

13. Invite him into my kitchen.

[NightWatcher]

14. Defend my property!!!

(Removed snarky comment that would get me on a list for a visit)

[lpbk2713]

15. Throw a few choice words his way.

I didn't spend four years in the Navy to let that vocabulary just go to waste.

[Rollo]

81. Good one, LOL

[hollowdweller]

16. Try to get him stoned

He needs it.

[pintobean]

33. In the modern sense, or the biblical sense?

[jodymarie aimee]

17. call Casey Anthony and Zimmerman and OJ

I am only 4'11" and 96#, so would need reinforcements.

[onecaliberal]

18. Open the door tell him what I think and then give him a few seconds to get the fuck

Off my property.

[MineralMan]

19. Point at the No Solicitors sign next to my front door.

That's what I do will all such people.

[Croney]

20. I would flatter him, sweet-talk him, and

gush over him, telling him how huuge his hands are and how gorgeous his hair is. He would name me Secretary of State in ten minutes, and then I could start bringing in sane people to run the country.

[True Dough]

54. That just might work!

He's so easily manipulated. Just make sure your handle "Croney" isn't mixed up with Comey!

[Imperialism Inc.]

21. Talk to him, even though it would make my skin crawl.

Since he has no clue of his own, Trump believes whatever he hears last. I would explain to him why any healthcare law will inevitably look like Obamacare or it won't cover as many people as cheaply.

ETA: Unless we go full-blown single payer of course.

[Freedomofspeech]

22. First thing he would see is the " I didn't vote for trump sticker on our front door".

Then I would tell him that I was calling the police because he was trespassing.

[wryter2000]

23. Ask the Secret Service

to get him the hell off my lawn.

[RandiFan1290]

24. I'd be more excited to see the Secret Service

and would probably ignore the orange pedo

[haele]

25. Assume whatever is on my front porch is an impersonator.

Tell him to get off my porch, 'cause I'm not buying.
Ask his security detail what the fuck were they thinking letting him over here? For one, I'm definitely not his type - in more ways than the sexual reason.
Second - I can't stand willful idiots.
Thirdly - I'm not some mystical guru teacher willing to bring pig-headed fools to enlightenment. And he's certainly no Siddhartha. In all the years I've heard his name thrown about, he hasn't shown any indication that there's any hint of the real world of humanity in his mind or soul. He's been eaten out by personal demons long ago - he's a husk of a man. There is no spark in him. I hate to say it, but there's more in the black hearted spirit that inhabits Dick Cheney (who I've actually met twice) than there is in him.

No, I would kick him and his handlers off my porch and then probably pay someone to rip it up, burn it and build another to replace it. And sage the rest of the property to keep any other evil spirits away.

Haele

[longship]

26. He would hear in quick succession...

1. Me yelling "Fuck off!"
2. My door slamming in his face.

[northoftheborder]

27. grab his "hair" and investigate that nest of stuff

[unblock]

28. call mini-unblock to see so he can shout "hey, it's donald effing trump!"

we didn't teach him that, but that's what he calls him.

it's just the natural result of good child-rearing.

[madamesilverspurs]

29. I'd yell through the door,

"Dave's not here!"

Let him wonder.


.

[Kittycow]

43. Haha. ..love that one!

[BlueMTexpat]

60. This ...

[JackRiddler]

30. Wake up.

If it's not a dream, be very alarmed and hope to figure out in time what the fuck is going on.

[StevieM]

31. This subject actually came up over Thanksgiving. My cousin said she would never let Trump anywhere

near her children.

[ellie]

32. Invite him in

and berate him to his face. He is a coward.

[ananda]

35. Refuse to open the door.

Basically, just ignore the knock.

[louis-t]

36. Comment on his unusually small hands.

[Yavin4]

37. I'd do this

[malaise]

38. Release my imagnary dog to greet him

He wouldn't make it through the gate.
Hey my deceased dog was good at that.

[Thor_MN]

39. I would try to tie up as much of his time as possible, just like I do with telemarketers

Small sacrifice by me means he can't be messing with everyone else.

[mac56]

41. I'd give him a hearty handshake.

Two words: stink palm.

[procon]

42. Under the Castle Doctrine, shoot first and stand your ground. nt

[democratisphere]

44. Open door, invite him in and spend the available time trying to convince him he is wrong

about EVERYTHING! Don't run, hide or be silent.

[BlueStater]

45. I'd tell him that he's a sickening individual who doesn't remotely deserve that office.

And that he disgraces it every second he occupies it. And that if he even had smallest bit of human decency, he'd admit he isn't qualified or deserving of it and would resign immediately.

[guillaumeb]

46. I would say: Does someone need a hug?

[MyOwnPeace]

47. thinking............

"DAMN, didn't get that wall built soon enough, but I'll tell him how much he owes me for it!"

[hunter]

48. I doubt my dogs would like him. And I know he wouldn't like my dogs.

I'm also one of those organic people who doesn't use pesticides. We have a big compost heap, so yes, it's true, the tomatoes are grown in garbage! Germs everywhere! Trump hates that.

Best he go away.

[brush]

49. Ill take door #2.

[Runningdawg]

50. I would call animal control

and tell them there was a rabid animal on my porch.

[jmowreader]

51. Can you execute a citizen's arrest on a government official?

Between Titles 6, 8, 10, 11, 12, 15, 17, 18, 26, 29, and 52 of the US Code, there's GOT to be at least one thing every ten pages you could have him hanged by his tiny thumbs for.

[TheBlackAdder]

53. I'd invite him in. I can talk to anybody. If he stays exposed to his side, he'll remain in a bubble.

.


Of course, I'd be embarrassed at the wreck of a house I have.

I don't think there is one gold anything in it, not even a solid gold toilet mounted on a raised platform.



I'm Scottish, English and Irish by lineage. Gold is considered a passe metal to wear or adorn in a home.

That's how I know Trump is a fake Scot. No true Scot would ever live like they are in a Russian palace...

















.

[liberal N proud]

55. Invite him in and offer him a piece of pie, chocolate pie.

[Vinca]

56. ROFL. I loved that book and movie.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

73. Ha ha!

[doc03]

57. Tell him to get the f off my property before I use my

Castle Doctrine rights. Well technically I would have to invite him in first.

[zeusdogmom]

58. I'd let Zeus Dog do his thing

Zeus loves to launch his full 80 lb. body on people - generally to lick them silly and give juicy dog kisses. I usually hold the boy back so no harm comes to any visitor But in this case .... Launch on Zeus! Have at 'em!!! And if Trump really is a germaphobe, a good session of doggie licks and kisses could send him right over the edge.

[trueblue2007]

59. I live on a HOUSEBOAT (Floating Home) I'D PUSH HIM IN THE RIVER.

[The River]

61. I Have Hired Henchmen

who watch the front gate 24/7.
He can't get in without an invite
unless he's a homeowner and member.

[raccoon]

62. President-elect, you mean. nt

[2naSalit]

63. 3, then 2.

[2naSalit]

64. If he showed up at my front door, he'd be trespassing...

and in my state, I think it's leagl to shoot trespassers, especially if there's livestock on the property, which there is.

[kacekwl]

65. No secret service...

Kick in the nuts. Hard.

[roamer65]

66. I'd piss on him.

Apparently he enjoys that kind of thing from the leaked dossier.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

69. "Heh, heh, heh. He said 'leaked'."

Shut up, Beavis.

[JSup]

67. Well...

I would *ahem* 'stand my ground'.

[Barack_America]

74. I too would almost certainly feel 'threatened'.

[JSup]

78. Exactly...

...you don't know if he's there to ask to use your phone, throw you into a camp or punch you in the face for the entertainment of his sycophants.

[Different Drummer]

71. Call the police, have them escort him off....

and then, take out a restraining order.

[ecstatic]

72. I would sincerely ask him to call for a re-vote

and explain to him that millions of Americans are physically ill over what has transpired both before and after Nov 8. Unity will never be achieved without a re-vote. I'd remind him that he's a billionaire--so what does he have to lose? Worse case scenario, he gets to return to his regular life, without the need to divest or release his taxes.

[Bettie]

75. That depends on whether anyone knows he's there or not

Just saying, I might have a giant mason jar in my basement...with holes punched in the lid, I'm not a monster.

[marybourg]

76. Tonite? - piss on him. nt.

[bdamomma]

77. kick him in the nuts

[LaydeeBug]

79. I would tell him I *just* used the bathroom and won't reuire his services. nt

[bluedigger]

80. I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire.

I'd make him pay for it.