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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsAlabama Republican (what else???) Wants To Give You A Hand In The Bathroom
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Alabama Republican Wants To Give You A Hand In The Bathroom
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Need some help pottying? Here's your man.
Hey there, gender-non-specific person! Are you doing the pee-pee dance? Are you at a public place in Alabama that has gender-neutral bathrooms? You are probably in Birmingham in Little Five Points or something, at some trendy joint where city-dwelling liberals (they have them, in Alabama!) with educations and class go to drink their brunch, and the management knows you are a goddamned adult and can handle a bathroom thats open to anyone, because there are stalls in there, and because, again, you are a goddamned adult.
Well, theres this one guy in Alabama who REALLY wants to give you a hand with your various pottying needs. His name is state Sen. Phil Williams, and he is a Republican. WAIT COME BACK, HE MEANS WELL! Its just that he wants to go in there and make sure nobody does any funny business to OUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS in the john, and he wants to pass a bill requiring all establishments with gender-neutral restrooms to hire bathroom attendants, to hang out and help you pee and make sure nobody does OUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS! to you. Senator Phil cant be in all the gender-neutral bathrooms at the same time, thats why theyll have to hire a bunch of attendants:
The law states that bathroom, or changing facilities that are designed to be used by multiple persons must either be exclusively for persons of the same gender, or open to people irrespective of their gender with attendants present.
It requires: Bathroom, or changing facilities that are designed to be used by multiple persons at once, irrespective of their gender, that are staffed by an attendant stationed at the door of each rest room to monitor the appropriate use of the rest room and answer any questions or concerns posed by users.
And if Senator Phil tries to do gender-neutral number twos in a gender-neutral bathroom and theres nobody there to protect him, those places can be fined $2,000 for a first offense, and $3,500 for subsequent offenses. God, wingnuts have the most prurient obsessions. Is this the most adorable, we mean deplorable, bathroom bill yet? MAYBE. But its part of a whole passel of them being introduced around the country, in the wake of the election of our new Leerer-In-Chief, who probably wouldnt mind grabbing around some junk in the bathroom, as long as he can be guaranteed its ALL PUSSY.
Texas is doing a bathroom bill, and its Republican lieutenant governor, Dan Patrick, has splained that its necessary so that we may prevent men from doing bathrooms because of the way they feel. Now, he doesnt mean like I feel like I have to pee, therefore I will, but rather I feel like a lady who needs to pee today, therefore I will, because these idiot assholes actually think people wake up in the morning feeling all transgender.
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Read more at http://wonkette.com/610272/alabama-republican-wants-to-give-you-a-hand-in-the-bathroom#c7lVMtt492HsQJdB.99
roamer65
(36,745 posts)Wounded Bear
(58,670 posts)Proud Liberal Dem
(24,414 posts)That Transgender men and women: a.)Exist and b.)Have the same biological functions as Cis (non-Transgender) -men and women and c.)Have been using the same bathrooms for, like, forever. So, apparently, now that this information is out, we're a public menace to society?
HassleCat
(6,409 posts)I thought I was joking when I predicted there would be people assigned to check genitalia in bathrooms. Now my joke doesn't seem as funny. I also suggested men named Dick would be exceptionally well qualified. I don't really think that shoe will drop, but we're living in strange times.
liberal N proud
(60,336 posts)niyad
(113,342 posts)niyad
(113,342 posts)because, I tell you now, if one of your attendants tries to feel me up, that person is going to be seriously hurt. and, if not feeling us up, are they going to be standing in the doorway of the open stalls? got news for you, THAT is not going to happen, either.
unblock
(52,253 posts)is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
hibbing
(10,098 posts)unblock
(52,253 posts)guillaumeb
(42,641 posts)The GOP Congressman who resigned after his wide stance behavior was.............dare I say,.... exposed?
unblock
(52,253 posts)guillaumeb
(42,641 posts)with the Southern States being the prime sources of energy.
unblock
(52,253 posts)a far better indicator than geography.
niyad
(113,342 posts)better indicator than geography.
unblock
(52,253 posts)niyad
(113,342 posts)Affiliation: (R)
District: Senate District 10
County: Cherokee County, DeKalb County, Etowah County, St. Clair County
Phone Number: 334-242-7857
hibbing
(10,098 posts)The empressof all
(29,098 posts)Trump University will re-open with new curriculum for training Bathroom "Associates" Ivanka can even make their uniforms.
niyad
(113,342 posts)world wide wally
(21,744 posts)pnwmom
(108,980 posts)Seems like they should be doing something for their paychecks besides just standing there.
niyad
(113,342 posts)pnwmom
(108,980 posts)They'll just shut down the bathrooms, and everyone will be so much better off.