To hell with Facebook

[FrodosNewPet]

For a long time, I have tried to support and defend Facebook. But after listening to the criticisms, and seeing how it does more to divide and depress people, and even enable the worst behaviors, to hell with Facebook. I deactivated mine a week ago. I encourage everyone else to do the same. Call your loved ones. Send e-mails, heck, here's a radical idea: Visit the people you care about in person, and give them a real hug, not a virtual poke. And if you really want to be radical: grab an old-fashioned pen and piece of paper and send (gasp!) a LETTER! You'll be helping to save the post office and giving your friends and loved ones something they can literally hold on to!

[jehop61]

1. Bah, humbug

Too bad you can't see the positive results of Facebook. I get to see what's going on in the lives of my far flung family and have found old friends to be involved with again. Lighten up and look at the half full glass. Happy New Year

[Blue_Adept]

2. Email? You're better off going by courier or pony express

Email is such a half assed way of dealing with it.

[Roland99]

19. Who said anything about just email??

[we can do it]

8. I saw the "positive" results of FB November 8th.

Fake news, lies and regurgitated rumors. Over and over again.

[longship]

3. What's Facebook? nt

[FrodosNewPet]

6. It is an NSA program to spy on citizens and encourage bad behavior

It helps trick people into believing that random strangers are your "friends".

It uses a few small benefits to trick people into over-sharing, providing TMI. It encourages envy and fame seeking.

It is a monster with a pretty face.

[longship]

14. Love it, my friend!

Facebook is also a space alien conspiracy. Do not let them fool you.

Just ask David Icke about Mark Zuckerberg.

Huh! Huh?

There ya go!

[pangaia]

23. Depends on how it is used.

My use of and experience with it have been a boon.

[miyazaki]

4. Dumped it years ago! n/t

[Canoe52]

42. Same here

Got tired of my right wing relatives (most of my family) spewing crap.
Oh, and the pictures of "what I cooked for dinner".

[yuiyoshida]

5. I also gave up Facebook because of the amount of private information

they exposed one time, accidentally. I now use Twitter instead. I prefer it mostly because I can follow my favorite Japanese bands and they can follow me and some actually have!
so cool!

[BeyondGeography]

7. Never went there to begin with; I do think it makes many people miserable

I have colleagues whose professional relationships were damaged by the election, e.g. In my 30+ years of work I've always put up a wall between the personal and the professional. Work is mostly transactional; why complicate things? Doesn't mean you can't have close personal relationships that grow out of it, but that's about trust building and only meaningful when done face-to-face. As for rekindling long-lost ties, the Internet was already pretty good at enabling that. I will always love the Internet as the world's largest and most easily accessed knowledge repository. Social media has added nothing for me, and I think no small part of the madness we are living through right now can be traced to its rise.

[Sherman A1]

9. Facebook is just like anything else in the electronic world

including this board. It's how you use it and what you expect.

I get a lot of hobby related information, author visit updates at the Library, recipes, local museum updates and a host of other things. Yes, there things I don't necessarily find to my liking, but those for the most part can be blocked or avoided. It takes just a few minutes to tailor your page to your needs and/or desires.

Despite your call to deactivate my account there, I will continue to enjoy the information that it brings to me about not only the above, but also allows me to connect with people that would have otherwise fallen off the radar of life as we proceed along it's path.

[FrodosNewPet]

13. If it works for you, great!

Just a few short months ago, I was saying exactly what you were. I brushed off the criticisms.

But, as time progressed, I started paying attention to the critics. I saw how shallow most people's replies were. I saw how it was dividing families and friends. I saw how it was inspiring jealousy and retribution and bullying. I myself was becoming darker and more frustrated, until I finally gave it up.

And now we have the sad tragedy of the torture of a young developmentally disabled man by four fame seeking sociopaths to bring these points home.

If you have a path to happiness and success with Facebook, fantastic. But I stand by my encouragement for those who do not have the same positive experience as you.

[Ligyron]

17. As they say sometimes - familiarity breeds contempt

[pipi_k]

26. It's still

about how you use it and what you expect.

But, as time progressed, I started paying attention to the critics. I saw how shallow most people's replies were. I saw how it was dividing families and friends. I saw how it was inspiring jealousy and retribution and bullying. I myself was becoming darker and more frustrated, until I finally gave it up.

Families and friends being "divided"...that's been happening since the beginning of human history

Shallow replies? You can get shallow replies through emails too. Or even with face-to-face communication.

If Facebook was affecting you in a negative way and you had to give it up, well, then that's unfortunate. But what you're doing now is trying to convince others to give up a mode of connection and communication they enjoy based on YOUR experiences with it.

And now we have the sad tragedy of the torture of a young developmentally disabled man by four fame seeking sociopaths to bring these points home.

Facebook did not cause those kids to do what they did. But here's something...without Facebook (and the stupidity of criminals who film themselves committing crimes and then posting it all on Facebook), there would be little to no evidence to help prosecute and sentence the criminals.

Everything has a positive and negative side.

You don't like Facebook, for your own reasons. We all get that. But there are those of us who don't have a problem with it and we'll still continue to use it for our own reasons.

[pangaia]

32. My experience using FB has been 100% positive, well maybe 99%.

Of course I suspect it is how I use it...

Recently retired, I can easily stay in touch with friends/professional colleagues throughout the world--Japan, Korea, China, Russia, Bulgaria, Latvia, Finland, Norway, Germany, Oman, Brazil,.. you name it.

I have even made new friends through my profession whom I have then later met.. These new connections have brought me to Korea, Japan, Portugal, Russia and The Netherlands so far.. even though I had been there in the past.... always nice to have a new reason to travel. I am going to Madrid and Moscow next month and Rotterdam and Amsterdam in March, Kyoto in May I think it is..Lisbon and Marvao in August.....
Hell, I'm even going to LA and SF in 2 weeks to meet friends and eat in some great Sichuan joints..

In fact, I recently quite by chance reconnected with a fellow musician whom I met in Jan, 1985 in Leningrad, spent one evening with, and, together with 5 of his colleagues, drank 7 bottles of vodka in the former Europskaya Hotel... across the street from the Leningrad Philharmonic Hall and just around the corner from the Mikhaylovsky Theater,....and had not heard from since!

The result, of reconnecting, not the vodka, is that he and his wife are coming to the US next month to visit me...

Pretty much all thanks to FB..

[Sherman A1]

39. Whatever works for you

[Augiedog]

24. It's not like this board at all. There are rules here, enforced, for the benefit of like minded

people. Enabled by a jury system of random members, the hate and personal attacks are minimized. And, most importantly perhaps, DU members are anonymous if they chose to be. No family or friends need be informed of your activities here unless you want to be. Facebook has become a place employers use to vet potential employees. Nothing like having your youthful escapades used against you. Facebook should never be allowed to accept anyone under the age of twenty one, even with parents permission. It's child abuse to let your kids expose themselves to the vileness that has become Facebook Land.

[Sherman A1]

38. You have your opinion

to which you are entitled.

[Raine]

79. I've had good luck with FB too. I've met many people that have the same interests as I do

in hobbies, working with animals, politics etc.

[Sherman A1]

80. Agreed

Some folks seem to believe that their experience points to their's being the only experience and their solutions being the only correct one.

[Captain Stern]

10. Facebook is just fine.

The facebook experience is what the user makes it.

Don't want to see 'fake news'?....Don't be friends with people that post that shit.

Don't like assholes?......Don't be friends with them.

Don't want facebook to have your private info?......Don't give them your private info. All you need to have an account is a name, and email address.

[pangaia]

34. + a lot

Exactly what I do.

I never post any political stuff, for example. Although the great advantage of knowing people throughout the world is the different takes I can get on events...

[sinkingfeeling]

11. Deactivated mine on Nov. 9. Facebook seems to be a place

where everyone can post their fake news stories, lies, and hate.

[ileus]

12. No facebook, TV or cellphone.

Yup I'm a social Amish.

[Fast Walker 52]

15. I love Facebook, I have a lot of great friends that share a lot of fun or important posts

and we often have interesting conversations. Sometimes there are annoying people and trolls, but it's good to interact with Trump voters to have some idea what they are thinking.

I think only posting in our isolated silos also divides people.

Facebook is just a tool, and it depends how you use it.

I'm not sure what your hangup is about it.

[pipi_k]

45. Isolated silos...

I think only posting in our isolated silos also divides people.

I agree 100%

DU, for the most part, is an isolated silo, yet how much vitriol and hatred have we seen (and some have experienced) right here over the years...

And as for anyone worried about present or future employers getting hold of information they should not have, there's a solution for that.

Two profiles.

One goody-goody profile in your own name, updated with pictures of kitties and inspirational stuff...something even the most prudish of maiden aunts would find acceptable.

Then, the alias, with all the wild goings-on a person can post, whether real or imagined.

[Fast Walker 52]

62. Yes, agree. One funny thing I've seen is that almost always it's conservatives who unfriend me

because they don't like what I say.

I usually try to avoid unfriending people but I've done it to a couple of people who were just too obnoxious-- just rude.

I try as hard as possible to be civil to people, even on the right.

[pipi_k]

82. Friends on both

sides of the political spectrum, and in between.

As far as I know, none of them has unfriended me. I don't usually get involved in political discussions on FB anyway

I haven't unfriended anyone either, although I have stopped "following" them. Meaning, for anyone not familiar with FB...still being friends with the person, but their posts don't show up on my newsfeed. So yeah, there's that. Most times I just scroll right past the RW bullshit.

One person I absolutely HAD to stop following wasn't because of political views. It's one of those insufferable modern-day moms who think their kid is the second coming of Jesus and is forever posting photos. Constantly. It's like every single minute of the kid's life is being documented via photo and honestly who needs to see 25 photos per day of a kid doing the same damned thing.

This person confessed recently to having something like 35,000 photos stored on one of her devices, and at last count (5+ years ago, I tallied up over 18,000 photos on Facebook...95% of them of her kid)

So yeah...sometimes there are things even worse than someone's political views.

[Loge23]

16. Proud to say I never joined! (eom)

[Coventina]

18. Another who never joined!!

[DinahMoeHum]

44. Same here. No Twitter account either.

I don't swim in dirty water.

[yagotme]

63. Same here.

Neither one.

[OKNancy]

20. No, I'll keep mine

and twitter too. and I'll watch cable tv and cable news, and I'll even watch some reality tv... oh and cheer for sports teams I like.. and eat Velvetta cheese nachos

[pangaia]

35. Velveta!! Oh, how could you???

I just think I will unfriend you..

[nolabear]

41. You ANIMAL.

[Sissyk]

61. I use Velvetta for Mac & Cheese!

and I never miss an episode of Face Off, Project Runway, and Top Chef.

Just shoot me now!!

Oh, and I even eat GMOs.

[FrodosNewPet]

71. I wish I could afford that fancy stuff

Until I rebuild my career, I am stuck on Kraft Powdered Trump Colored Mac and (ahem) "Cheese".

[Sissyk]

74. My boys used to love that stuff! N/t

[OKNancy]

75. LOL - I have other verboten things I do

but those will remain with me... I still and always will vote straight Democratic.

[Sissyk]

77. Yep!

Straight Dem ticket in an extremely red state. Both of us.

[pipi_k]

83. Only thing better

than Velveeta mac and cheese is Velveeta mac and cheese with a dollop of sour cream stirred into the cheese.


PS...

I eat stuff with high fructose corn syrup in it and I am going to burn in hell.

[Javaman]

21. to use a quote from Star Wars to describe facebook....

"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious."

[Augiedog]

22. I dumped Facebook two years ago when I realized what a nasty fucked up place it is. Anyone

using Facebook needs medical intervention, if not institutionalization. Run, don't walk, away from from it as fast as you can.

[pangaia]

36. Are you implying that I need medical intervention?

None, absolutely none of the people I interact with are are nasty or fucked up.
Not one.

It is what one makes of it, or...chooses not to..

[pipi_k]

48. It's not

the place, it's the people who use it.

And like the person who replied above me, I have lots of friends on Facebook who are way less nasty and fucked up than...

well, all I'm going to say is that nasty people exist everywhere, and there are even quite a few of them on Internet message boards. And not just the Conservative message boards, either.

[Fast Walker 52]

86. it all depends on who your friends are...

it's as nasty as you make it. I love it myself. I keep in touch with my family who live all over the place and talk to politically like-minded folks.

[johnp3907]

25. Interacting with friends and aqainetnses on Facebook BAD.

Interacing with strangers on internet forums= GOOD. Gotcha.

[pangaia]

37. :)) touche..

[RedWedge]

27. Interesting; I get great comfort and inspiration from my friends and family through FB, and it makes

it easy to quickly share mobilizing information ("call these senators on this issue," etc.). The connections I've made and strengthened FB have led to freelance work and a full-time job. It's all how you use it, I guess -- but then, any online forum is like that.

[tparrett62]

28. Another ex-User

I deactivated mine the day after the election; couldn't take the chest-pounding from the Trumpsters. I am a little disappointed in that I expected some sort of epiphany after unplugging, but not so much. I don't miss the temptation to get into arguments over stupid things with people whose opinions I don't care about, but all in all, no biggie either way. For those who enjoy it, I'm happy. For me, just as good without.

[alarimer]

29. Not to mention the data they collect on you

The most sinister aspect, though, is that Facebook (and Google) could ban fake news sites, but they choose not to because of ad revenue.

[crazycatlady]

30. I haven't logged on in over a year

don't miss it

[panader0]

31. I love the old fashioned pen and paper idea.

I love sending and receiving letters.

[Beearewhyain]

33. I dumped FB a number of years ago mainly because

I don't like how the organization operates. What they do with your personal information, how they track you and what they do with that information disturbs me. Now I know that it is practically a moot point now that everyone tracks and sells info today but still won't go back.

Aside from that there is a real bonus from disconnecting from FB...I like my friends better. You see, when I don't have to see every inane, trivial, self aggrandizing post or stupidity displayed we get along better IRL. You have to have actual conversations with people and ask questions and catch up on things. if they happen to make a dubious partisan point you can call them out on it in real time and they can't (well, it's much more awkward) do a quick google search to find the latest counter talking point. In other words, they have to actually engage and think and I do as well.

The bottom line is that even with the friend I have that I vehemently disagree with, the disagreement is based on a real conversation and any nuance, if some exists, is not lost in the pixels. I am much happier without FB.

[bluedigger]

40. FB has allowed me to reconnect with many old friends around the country and planet.

Using the filtering tools it provides has allowed me to minimize viewing unwanted posts. I'm very thankful for it, but I appreciate that freedom of choice allows people to participate voluntarily. Now, Twitter, that waste of time I really don't get.

[Docreed2003]

56. This!

I love FB for a lot of reason but it's all in what you make of it. The filtering tools you describe have made life a lot better on FB!

[GliderGuider]

43. As others have said, it is what you make of it.

I have far more deep, free-wheeling, thoughtful, respectful and truly progressive discussions and debates over there than I do here. I have made more IRL friends there than I have here. I'm sad to say it, but FB is a far more interesting and productive place for me than DU these days.

[socialist_n_TN]

65. Agree with everything you posted.........

FAR more interesting and productive.

[nolabear]

46. I'm glad you're happy without it but there are things available there that I need.

I get quite a bit from it in my association with others in my professions and I get a lot of news. I don't argue with trolls and now and then have a fruitful disagreement with someone.

I agree though that you have to be careful or it can keep you stressed out. If you need to go cold turkey I approve.

[Rorey]

47. I use it to MY advantage

I have two accounts, both very private. On one I have less than 30 Friends, almost all family members. I mostly ignore it and the only posts I ever make are to tell them Happy Birthday, etc. The other one is completely fake. I use it mostly as a search tool. It's one of my screening tools for prospective tenants and business associates. I'm constantly amazed at how much information people put on the 'Net for total strangers to use to their advantage.

[Paladin]

49. I'll probably end up walking away from Facebook.

As it is, I've blanked out all the rabid Trump pages I've come across; de-friended a number of old acquaintances. And in answer to the question: Is it really worth it, losing friends over their allegiance to Donald Trump? My answer is: Yes, absolutely. We're going to have to fight to get our country back; losing a few friends is just a down payment.....

[nini]

50. Before facebook we'd get those stupid chain emails

so perhaps the problem is some of the people we associate being complete morons? Don't blame the method - blame the person posting crap that you are associated with. I do agree we need to step back from technology in general more and interact with the people around us.

Facebook is like anything else.. too much of it can be a problem.

[LittleGirl]

51. I can't do that

My Mother is 5,000 miles away and she's on facebook. In fact, all of my friends are at least 5000 miles away and only a handful are close enough to visit in town. I don't post political things there because of my Mother. She asked me not to.

[Mike Nelson]

52. I "like" Facebook...

...and only post cool stuff! Occasionally, I will post a political picture - trying to point out Trump's failings in a humorous way... offensive posts are permanently discarded.

[bowens43]

53. Don't blame facebook for stupid posts by stupid people

Nope I like it.

[marlakay]

54. You see what you want

I delete anything I don't need to see.

I live pretty far from my kids and friends since we moved so FB keeps me in touch. Besides pics i have a lot of friends that post motivational and or funny things to help your day.

During election i only had to delete one new FB friend i met during primary who went nuts during main election time.

Set everything to friends only and never give them phone number. Email connected to it is my general not personal one.

[socialist_n_TN]

55. You should see my newsfeed.......

FULL to the brim of commies and a GREAT way of spreading alternative LEFTIST news to everybody else. And yeah, it also helps me keep up with my YUGE and far flung family.

I'm freer in my posts on Facebook than I am on here.

[Docreed2003]

57. Very true in many ways!

-also in TN! Lol

[socialist_n_TN]

64. Less than a thousand posts.........

I think we can still do the "Welcome to DU" thing.

So what do you think of Mary Mancini as Democratic Party chair? I'm biased because she's a long term buddy of mine, but I'm interested in what other Tennessee Dems think.

[Docreed2003]

66. So I've just moved back to the area after about 20 years...

Graduated high school and left for college/med school and after a long circuitous route moved back home last summer to be closer to family.

From what I can tell, she's done a good job considering what she's had to deal with. Tell her to keep up the fight!

[socialist_n_TN]

88. Well welcome back to Tennessee then too.....

And Mary will keep up the fight. That's what she does.

[Waldorf_]

58. I enjoy Facebook, but with moderation. Its mainly used to keep up with family (we are spread all

over the States) and see all the pictures posted. Especially new ones of my granddaughter.

Also being in groups with the same hobby interests I have is nice.

Never done twitter. That social media seems to bring out the worst in people.

[riverwalker]

59. What is this "Facebook" of which you speak?

No way, no how. Tried it for a month years ago, hated it. Love anonymity of Twitter and the immediacy for news junkies. Facebook has been really destructive for family members who are on it.

[Act_of_Reparation]

60. You damnable technophiles and your "letters"...

...have denied generations the tactile pleasure of carving cuneiform tablets.

Your friends will appreciate the hard work and effort you put into your communications, and with shipping costs being what they are, twenty pound stones will benefit the USPS more than your flimsy fucking letters.

[FrodosNewPet]

69. I keep trying telepathy

But everyone keeps complaining about the static. And I guess the tuning keeps drifting, so I end up sounding like Donald Duck.

No, wait... that's the Ham Radio.

[KamaAina]

67. The people I care about are scattered across several time zones.

And I have met quite a few new ones through FB.

[Different Drummer]

68. Facebook is a mixed bag for me.

On the one hand, I am on several pages and groups devoted to my various interests and have come to know and make friends with the people that populate these. On the other hand, I'm from Georgia and most of the people who I've known for most of my life who are Facebook "friends" have devolved into deplorables. Those "friends" usually end up as being part of the group I have unfollowed. I fill up my feed with pages and groups in an effort to avoid seeing anything from them, but sometimes things sneak through that don't sit well with me.

[FrodosNewPet]

78. That's exactly how I ended up

I absolutely get why some people love it. But I still think, for the rest of us who are not strong enough to use it wisely, stepping away is the best choice.

[GoCubsGo]

70. I wish I could go visit and hug my Facebook friends.

But, they all live hundreds, if not thousands of miles away, and I can barely afford to pay my bills, let alone travel to see them. I enjoy seeing the photos they post, and the articles they share. I'll keep my Facebook, thank you very much.

[FrodosNewPet]

73. If it works for you, fantastic!

I know the O.P. was a bit of over-reaction.

My brother is developmentally disabled. Doing anything bad to that community of people REALLY tears me up. These are the people who need our protection, our assistance, and our love.

Mess with innocents, the young, the elderly, and the frail, and I am ready to... nope, I better not say!

[DavidDvorkin]

72. Pen and paper!? I don't trust those.

Too newfangled. Rocks and chisels. That's the only way.

[Warpy]

76. Never signed up, didn't like their business model

Their product wasn't a site where people could connect, their product was you and all the information they could data mine from your profile, posts, and browsing history.

[Skittles]

81. people who say they can't keep up with their families/friends without FB

that is pathetic

[pipi_k]

84. Why

is it "pathetic"?

It's a central place to see photos and get updates on peoples' lives. I don't have an overwhelming number of facebook friends, but it would still be a real pain to get emails from all of them letting me know what's going on. And it's not just ME...these people have other friends and family and it's not like they can just sit and write out email after email to all the people they know. And I sure wouldn't want to have to write out a shitload of emails in return.


I'm also signed up to a bunch of specific FB groups. Crafts. Health related issues. Issues involving pet care, recipes, new and cool home decorating ideas, etc. Also, there are the funny videos that often cheer up my day.

I mean, I can understand someone not liking the whole idea (even if they've never even tried it) but to call it pathetic...that kind of sucks.

It's sort of like someone saying that connecting with other people on a discussion board (like DU) is pathetic.

Whatever.

[Skittles]

85. saying it HELPS is fine

saying they can't do it - pathetic......I know people who HAVE to have FB who before FB would never even have considered sending a postcard to their "loved ones" when on vacation - JEEZ, you know, THAT was just TOO much effort

[betsuni]

87. I think it's funny how some people I know are paranoid about government surveillance ...

and "corporatists" think nothing of telling all on Facebook and buying everything online. THEY know everything about you!