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rzemanfl

(29,565 posts)
Sat Dec 31, 2016, 05:27 PM Dec 2016

Dear Orange Julius Caesar. Happy Fucking New Year you obnoxious piece of shit.

I read your New Year reminder that I am your enemy and you are mine. As if I needed reminding.

I hope 2017 brings you protests, disdain, humiliation, bladder and bowel restrictions, urinary incontinence, projectile vomiting, diarrhea from your ass (your mouth and Twitter account already have it), cramps, impotence, painful urination, suppurating sores, deep vein thrombosis, migraine headaches, hemorrhoids, cataracts, corns, bunions, gout, ingrown toenails, muscle spasms, facial tics, arthritis and venereal diseases.

I hope the rest of your hair falls out in chunks on National television.

I hope Melania leaves you and your son is as temperamental and childish as his father.

I hope the Obama's dogs left piles of shit for you to step in all over the White House and the White House lawn, although I pity the shit for the indignity of being stepped in by the likes of you.

I have many more wishes for you Donald, but I know your attention span is short so I will save those for Valentine's Day if you haven't gotten us all killed by then. Okay asshole?

34 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Dear Orange Julius Caesar. Happy Fucking New Year you obnoxious piece of shit. (Original Post) rzemanfl Dec 2016 OP
Yeah! world wide wally Dec 2016 #1
Orange Julius Caesar. Lindsay Dec 2016 #2
Except for Mira Dec 2016 #12
I thought "adolf sniffler" had a good ring to it... dionysus Dec 2016 #22
OMG Lucinda Dec 2016 #23
Julius Caesar may have usurped the Roman Republic, but at least he was a talented general and TrollBuster9090 Dec 2016 #14
I still like Cheeto Benito LW1977 Dec 2016 #27
I want to see him fart, burp, cough, sneeze, and hiccup all at the same time. Buns_of_Fire Dec 2016 #3
While drinking milk so it comes out of his nose. n/t rzemanfl Dec 2016 #6
Oh, and the fart should be wet. n/t rzemanfl Dec 2016 #8
How did ou know what I was was thinking? Auntie Bush Dec 2016 #4
You know what they say about great minds. n/t rzemanfl Dec 2016 #7
GET OUTTA MY HEAD MFM008 Dec 2016 #5
I will if you will tell me how to keep our shelter animal from thinking rzemanfl Dec 2016 #9
Lounge is eighth forum on the left......... lastlib Dec 2016 #10
Oh please, this guy is not Caesar. At best he's Caligula. TrollBuster9090 Dec 2016 #11
A brief digression: Aristus Dec 2016 #13
Yes I know. Caligula means 'little boot,' and it was a nickname that his father's legionaries gave TrollBuster9090 Dec 2016 #15
Sounds like you know your stuff. Cool. Aristus Dec 2016 #17
Heh, nice to meet you! So what's your biggest Roman geekery possession? TrollBuster9090 Dec 2016 #20
A small collection of Roman coins. Aristus Dec 2016 #21
Roman history or orange drinks. We need to draw a line in the sand. rzemanfl Dec 2016 #19
When Caligula is an orange drink I will switch. n/t rzemanfl Dec 2016 #16
Point taken! nt TrollBuster9090 Dec 2016 #18
Caligula wasn't as bad as Trump jmowreader Dec 2016 #24
one of the best sentences I've ever read... dhill926 Dec 2016 #25
Bravo! smirkymonkey Dec 2016 #26
Your New Year's wish for Comrade Trumpski is far nicer than it should be Pachamama Dec 2016 #28
My parents raised me well, what can I say? n/t rzemanfl Dec 2016 #29
Indeed Pachamama Dec 2016 #30
Solid rant 10/10 Calculating Dec 2016 #31
I bet my husband tonight that Cheeto Fucktrumpet will be gone from office mnhtnbb Dec 2016 #32
My very non-political wife says the same. I hope you ladies are right although rzemanfl Dec 2016 #33
Indeed. mnhtnbb Dec 2016 #34

TrollBuster9090

(5,954 posts)
14. Julius Caesar may have usurped the Roman Republic, but at least he was a talented general and
Sat Dec 31, 2016, 07:17 PM
Dec 2016

statesman. This guy is Caligula, not Julius. Poor old Julius must be spinning in his grave at the comparison.

Buns_of_Fire

(17,180 posts)
3. I want to see him fart, burp, cough, sneeze, and hiccup all at the same time.
Sat Dec 31, 2016, 05:46 PM
Dec 2016

Preferably, during his inauguration speech.

rzemanfl

(29,565 posts)
9. I will if you will tell me how to keep our shelter animal from thinking
Sat Dec 31, 2016, 06:15 PM
Dec 2016

she owns the house and we exist only to serve her every cat need.

TrollBuster9090

(5,954 posts)
11. Oh please, this guy is not Caesar. At best he's Caligula.
Sat Dec 31, 2016, 07:14 PM
Dec 2016

I know, they're both technically Caesars, but let's at least specify that this shitstain on American history is Caligula and not Julius.

TrollBuster9090

(5,954 posts)
15. Yes I know. Caligula means 'little boot,' and it was a nickname that his father's legionaries gave
Sat Dec 31, 2016, 07:19 PM
Dec 2016

him. But let's distinguish him from the original Julius. Half the men in Rome were named Julius.

TrollBuster9090

(5,954 posts)
20. Heh, nice to meet you! So what's your biggest Roman geekery possession?
Sat Dec 31, 2016, 07:26 PM
Dec 2016

I actually have a bust of Augustus Caesar in my study. (The Augusta Primaporta statue.)

Aristus

(66,380 posts)
21. A small collection of Roman coins.
Sat Dec 31, 2016, 07:32 PM
Dec 2016

They're in poor enough shape that identifying the emperors on the obverse is a little difficult. But I think I've confirmed one as being struck during the reign of Constantine the Great. One I'm less sure of, but more excited by, is a coin possibly from the short reign of Maximinus Thrax. He ruled for only four years, and never visited Rome. I don't know how large his coinage was while he was emperor, but any specimen is likely to be fairly rare.

rzemanfl

(29,565 posts)
19. Roman history or orange drinks. We need to draw a line in the sand.
Sat Dec 31, 2016, 07:22 PM
Dec 2016

Or I need more education in Roman history.

jmowreader

(50,559 posts)
24. Caligula wasn't as bad as Trump
Sat Dec 31, 2016, 08:25 PM
Dec 2016

He restored democratic elections, had the treasury audited and reported the auditors' findings, and built some fairly decent public works projects while he was resting up from all the summary executions and sexual debauchery.

The closest analog to Trump in the Historical Rulers category is probably Idi Amin.

dhill926

(16,339 posts)
25. one of the best sentences I've ever read...
Sat Dec 31, 2016, 08:56 PM
Dec 2016

"I hope the Obama's dogs left piles of shit for you to step in all over the White House and the White House lawn, although I pity the shit for the indignity of being stepped in by the likes of you."

Bravo!

mnhtnbb

(31,392 posts)
32. I bet my husband tonight that Cheeto Fucktrumpet will be gone from office
Sat Dec 31, 2016, 10:42 PM
Dec 2016

by this time next year. No prediction on how, when, or why he'll make his exit, but I predict
he will not be in office on Dec. 31, 2017.

rzemanfl

(29,565 posts)
33. My very non-political wife says the same. I hope you ladies are right although
Sat Dec 31, 2016, 10:57 PM
Dec 2016

Pence is no prize.

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