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From the Vatican's Craigs List Page:
Experienced Personal Guards NeededAre you tired of lousy pay and silly looking uniforms in your current position? Donald Trump is looking for a few good men to serve as part of his personal guard service while he is President of the United States. If you are currently a member of the Swiss Guard that protects His Holiness, you may be just the person we're looking for. Enjoy better pay, better hours, along with custom Hong Kong dark, hand-tailored suits when you join the elite Special Service that will protect President Trump from harm and danger. Please submit your resume soonest to TrumpsSS@ProtectTheDonald.com
:satire:
