Come for the food and stay for the company. Everything else can be made better with gravy.
from Margaret and Helen:
............
»This year I learned that it takes all kinds. For that reason, I am broadening my horizons and opening my mind to the fact that some of you have certain dietary concerns. So listen close. If you are avoiding fat, sugar, sodium or gluten you should be concerned. If you are vegetarian, I think you might be able to forage enough on the table to make a meal.
» As always you can leave your electronic devices in the basket by the door and I suggest you do the same with your political opinions. My turkey has both white and dark meat. That means at my table you can be someone who voted for Donald Trump but you do not need to be someone who acts like Donald Trump. If you don’t heed my warning, you’ll get the store-bought pies Gertrude brings rather than my homemade ones.
» Football is on all day long. The television is not. When the meal is ready the set is off, and it doesn’t go back on until the last person is done with their meal. God forbid we actually talk to one another.
» Cloe, I am tired of fighting with you, dear. Feel free to bring that disgusting dish you call Jell-O-salad. I question if it is really either. Honey, no one is going to eat it so make sure you have the appropriate container to take it back with you. I don’t need that left-over mess staring at me every time I open my fridge. However, if you want to make it with orange Jell-O this year, we can call it Trump Dump and at least laugh with you rather than at you.
» Parenting is a full-time job. You don’t get to take time off when you get to my house just because it’s a holiday. Little feet stay on the floor and off the furniture. Red drinks and other liquids that stain should either be avoided or consumed outside. My nice things stay out where I can see and enjoy them. Your children’s hands stay off. "Yes" is not the only word in the dictionary. There is also “No” and “Because-I-said-so” (all one word).
» I love each and every one of you and I am so glad to have yet another holiday together. Come hungry and leave full. Hug one another because you can. Argue if you must, but then agree to disagree. Try something new or let go of something old. Give more. Take less. Oh hell. Listen to me rattle on like I am some sort of philosopher. Screw it. Come for the food and stay for the company. Everything else can be made better with gravy. I mean it. Really.
https://margaretandhelen.com/2016/11/22/thanksgiving-letter-to-the-family-2016/
