President Donald Trump's Daily Security Briefing...
INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY
A group of US military, FBI, NSA, and CIA officers enter the Oval Office and approach President Trump who is sitting behind his desk tweeting on his phone.
ARMY GENERAL: Mr President, it's time for your daily briefing.
TRUMP: Let me finish this tweet. Rosie O'Donnell was complaining about the 19% unemployment rate. (he presses send button) That will teach her. Someone remind me to audit her taxes after lunch. What are you people doing here?
ARMY GENERAL: Mr President, it's time for your daily briefing.
TRUMP: Fine. Get on with it.
CIA MAN: Russia has moved two divisions onto the German border.
TRUMP: Of course, it's OctoberFest. The best beer.
NSA OFFICIAL: North Korea tested 2 nukes last night, on Japan.
TRUMP: I told them to get their own nukes.
FBI AGENT: ISIS has taken over Israel.
TRUMP: You people call this a briefing! What's going on with my hotels? What is the occupancy at the Doral Resort? Are we getting full rate at the Old Post Office Hotel?
ARMY GENERAL: Mr President, we need to deal with these security threats. We're going to mobilize a Navy strike force in the Mediterranean Sea.
TRUMP: Has anyone even visited the open house for that condo I'm selling in Boca? Get out here. I need to call Ivanka for a real briefing.
The men leave the Oval Office. Trump turns to his speaker phone on the desk. The light on the button indicates an open phone line.
TRUMP: You get all that Vladimir?
A voice from the speaker replies.
PUTIN: Got it.
The End
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