This has been the most intense memory trigger time, of my life

[Siwsan]

If you have ever been subjected to any kind of sexual assault, these last 5 or 6 days have probably been dredging up some truly awful memories. That's been my experience. It has been a bombardment. Periods of shortness of breath, crying, heart pounding, sleep issues, loss of appetite, and more. These women's stories - why they didn't report them at the time they happened - it is just all too familiar. This is hard to watch, but I am forcing myself to do so.

Because it will be worth the emotional strain to see the final ruination of Trump.

[Warpy]

1. Random waves of rage here

Good part, I'm getting things done around the house. Bad part is that I've been having really poor sleep.

[Siwsan]

3. I've noticed that my little cat, Sophie Stinky Toes, has become very attentive

Every time I sit down, she runs up and flops down next to me, or on me, licks my hand and purrs up a storm. Animals just know.

[LiberalLoner]

5. Me too. Hard to take. And my kitty Bobo has been my angel too.

[Ilsa]

10. Me too. And the surrogates make it worse.

Their denial infuriates me almost as much as Trump's misogyny.

[wordpix]

32. the infuriating surrogates are horrible---they must be paid a lot

But then again, maybe Trump won't pay them b/c he doesn't like "the results."

[Sophiegirl]

26. Funny how animals know

Two of my kitties have stuck very closely the last week. It has been pretty difficult this past week to resist the flashbacks and the anxiety that tries to creep in.

Stronger together folks. It helps me to come here and have those feelings validated. Helps calm the nerves.

[Small Accumulates]

2. Me as well

It's been comforting to be in this place with others who've suffered this.

[Siwsan]

4. it really does help

[Generic Other]

6. We all have the scars

Let's vow that they will only make us stronger. Sisters.

[kimbutgar]

7. Me too. I remembered being groped at 9 years. It felt wrong but I couldn't explain it

It was at a surplus kind of junk store. My mom loved to go to these type of stores. She always brought me a cheap toy. The owner his name was Gus followed me back into the toy section. My mother was nearby but not in eye view and then he put his hand and touched my vjay. I was surprised and ran over to my mother and we left a couple minutes later. Couple weeks later, she asked me if I wanted to go. I told her no, mom was surprised because I said " I didn't want to go". She kept asking me why and I finally told her. I will never forget the look on my mom's face. A lot of emotions went over her face and then the mad look settled. She grabbed me and we drive to the store. She got in the face of Gus and said "never touch my girl again". Then she said, " Or I will tell her father". At that he became a wimpy guy. My Dad was 6'2 kind of menacing look guy until he smiled. We went back after that but only if we found his wife there. He never came near me again. He died a painful cancer death. My mom finally told Dad. He got really mad my mom didn't tell him then.

[Happyhippychick]

8. Me too, I've been furious and weepy.

Hugs to all of us who have dealt with assault.

[Divine Discontent]

9. so very true...

[radical noodle]

11. Hugs Siwsan

Same here.

[Siwsan]

12. Keeping things like this secret can become so toxic - the light of day is so healing

[Johnny2X2X]

13. Guilt

I felt guilty for most of my life until the age of 25 for what someone did to me as a little boy. It took an epiphany to finally realize that I had nothing to feel guilty about. Almost ruined my whole life.

Power, the loss of power did this damage to me.

[Siwsan]

14. That is a very common burden.

Guilt, denial, fear. But we can find strength and healing by turning to each other.

[cry baby]

15. Mostly tears and anger. And overeating, too. nt

[Tribalceltic]

16. K & R

I can only offer my sincerest support

[semby2]

17. Calm

I know it can be difficult, but please try to occupy yourself with non-election activities. Try not to spend too much time each day checking the news. We'll get to celebrate victory in less than a month.

[nolabear]

18. I can be having multiple FB conversations at a time with triggered women.

We are holding one another up. Rage, old fear, glee, horror, it's spreading like wildfire. And that's unpleasant but healing I think. We are not in it alone.

[lindysalsagal]

19. My deepest sympathies: I hope everyone has support and can heal.

Remember: It wasn't your fault. If it hadn't been you, it would have been another woman.

Even though you're stuck with the aftereffects, the incident itself had nothing to do with you: It was about the scumbag, entirely.

[kentuck]

20. Trump is toxic for our country.

Hillary has to win the election.

[uppityperson]

21. Big k&r and best wishes to you and other survivors

[undergroundpanther]

22. No sleep for me

I am awake most of the time my psych meds don't do crap to help I get to a twilight sleep around 4 or 5 am than up at 7go to group,do my chores and stuff and I am exhausted . I am constantly tired oppressively tired sore in my muscles tension all the time inside headaches flashbacks. And other symptoms of PTSD and dissociative stuff kicking my ass. I've been through a lot of abuse by men.
And I want that pos rump to fail so bad he kills himself.

[applegrove]

23. I was not paying much attention to cnn tonight. Too much.

Last edited Thu Oct 13, 2016, 03:22 AM - Edit history (1)

Too much denial on Trump's part for me.

[Cha]

24. Oh yeah.. I know what you mean.

It's triggering all right.. but I'm still not talking about it.

Good on those Women who are bravely coming out now because of hearing the billy bush/trump tape. The dam just broke.

[Patiod]

25. Not sure where it's coming from, though

I literally cannot watch the debates, because Trump is so physically upsetting to me. The more he interrupts and stalks and is vicious, the more upset I become.

I'm a 6' athletic woman who has fended off two rape attempts (I'm not including the time someone came into my apartment window when I was sleeping, and I was able to get out of the apartment inches ahead of him, which would be attempt #3) Plus I have a big hulking partner who makes me feel even safer.

So you'd think I'd feel tough and invulnerable, but this horrible orange creature just gets me so physically upset that I've pretty much sworn off live media (listening to a lot of podcasts) until after the election. If I'M this upset, I can't even imagine how disturbed women are who are ACTUAL victims of rape or abuse.
Hugs to everyone going through this. Nov 9 can't come soon enough

[Siwsan]

29. I dealt with a lot of that intimidating posturing during my time in the Navy

And the bullying behavior. I have no patience with anyone who acts like Trump. And I watch the debates with my finger on the remote control mute button.

[RKP5637]

28. I wake up at night wondering "what if?" Are enough Americans callous enough to elect this

extremely dangerous person who wants to be a dictator. Hillary must win this election. Otherwise, we will be living through the end of the US. He is so reminiscent of the dictators of the past.

[MFM008]

30. YES

I am taken back to age 7. Everything comes back so clearly.
Damn the maggot.

[Hugin]

31. I'm sincerely sorry for the anguish so many are experiencing.

[wordpix]

33. I went back 40 yrs to when I was groped in close quarters

I was in a food locker (freezer) putting garden produce in there. I had on shorts and a tank top for a hot summer day. This guy walks by with his GF and groped me. I said to the GF, "Hey, your guy just groped me and I don't like it!" She actually blamed ME for wearing shorts and a tank top.

[sheshe2]

34. Siwsan,

We are in this together, it will make us stronger.