i think i'm beginning to heal.
it's been 3 weeks since my dear husband passed but he was diagnosed 3 months earlier with a brain tumor.
i was living on boost and hamburgers from denny's (usually a once a year thing). today i stopped at the chinese restaurant and brought home chicken and vegetables with brown rice. i even considered cooking meatballs and sauce, but i'm not quite ready for that yet.
my stepdaughter was so happy when i told her what i ate.
i didn't cry all day until an old friend who had just heard the news called.
again thanks to all of you for your condolences.
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You have been lucky in your life and no one can ever take away the memories, experiences and things you learned together. You haven't really lost him. He will be on you shoulder when you make decisions telling you what he thinks. And in your mind I'm sure you will speak to him and ask for advise knowing in your mind what he would do or say. Peace to you.
Nance told us how wonderful your husband was. He would be happy that you're getting better; you know that.
a year and a half ago when he died of a sudden heart attack. I have good days and bad days, it takes time, lots of time. 
Please eat and eat often. Food can be such a wonderful source of comfort. Go back to cooking you will really love it and the pain will ease in due time.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It will get better.
...so let me do that now. I can't imagine what you are going through, my thoughts are with you. Please take care 
Just a PM away...anytime.
That's all you can do. It's tough, I know. Take care of yourself.
Having people over for dinner can be a good motivation for getting interested in cooking again.
Stay strong & take care of yourself.
Julie
are able to process the death of your husband in an honest and healthy way.
I am so glad to hear you're healing, sweetie...
It does take time, but you've got that...
And it's great to see you posting too!
I am sorry for your pain...
for you.
Or for neighbors (I don't know where you live or whether there are people close by). Maybe you can find--through an online support group or something like that--a friend who has the same fears and you two can agree to check up on each other.
It's a totally natural fear you have and I'm sure I would feel the same way in the situation of losing your love and companion of 42 years. It must be the most horrible feeling, but it's also a small blessing that communication is so much easier these days and, once you have the energy to take practical steps to reach out and find a buddy who feels the same way, you can help each other. (I'd volunteer but I already know that my schedule would make me not the best daily-check-in-er.)
I'm so glad you're eating. What a difference it makes. Part of you might feel a little silly eating in the midst of grief but it has to be done.
You always have your friends here. Thank you for your update. Many to you.
you're hurting.
Thanks for checking in. 
It's been just over 3 years since my stepdad suddenly died of pancreas inflamation, they could never figure out what caused it. I've been crying a lot this Father's Day because I miss him.
One moment at a time.
and posting ... I haven't been in your situation so not sure exactly what to say or how hard it is to keep going on. I'm just glad you're here.
I just returned to DU after a rather long absence. Part of the reason was my own dear husband's illness and passing. It was just two years ago the other day, and I know how much it hurts right now, but it will get better. I pretty much survived on ramen noodles for the first couple of months...getting your appetite back is an important first step, and a good sign.
I will give you one piece of admittedly unsolicited advice, though. Let yourself feel what you're feeling. I was all determined to be strong and brave. You know the head trips you go through...his suffering is over, he's in a better place, the disease can't hurt him anymore, etc. Then one day I had a total meltdown and spent the better part of the day pretty much glued to the floor and couch. I decided then that if I teared up and it made someone uncomfortable, fuck 'em. My friends and sisters understood, and that's all that mattered.
You'll get through this. It does get better. My sister told me she knew I had turned the corner when I changed my email signature from Churchill's "When you're going through hell, keep going", to "Ob La Di, Ob La Da, Life Goes On".
We're all here for you.
I lost my mother in 97 and I still miss her. It's so very difficult.
it's a very unique, and sad experience for me emotionally. it was so unexpected. 
The pain and grief will always be there, but it does get better.
I've lost a of of people in my life (nearly 100, now), beginning with my father when I was 15. Losing my Dad was was really tough, but after a while, the scent of Old Spice Aftershave (my Dad's aftershave) in a crowd would bring a smile to my face.
It's still early for you, but I wish for you that moment when the reminders bring a smile instead of tears.
You are in my thoughts. 
I read your post. His suffering was over and yours continued. Love and peace be yours, please take care of yourself, DesertFlower. Be gentle with yourself and may the universe shroud you in warmth and love from us all.
I'd like to say,
but things will ease
each and every day.
take heart to know
you are thought of well
with people you don't even know.
Peace.
