Donald Trump pledges to replace Constitution with the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

[TexasTowelie]

The United States Constitution will be modified to include the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, according to a policy document leaked from the Donald Trump campaign.

The news emerged after it became clear Trump’s campaign website would not allow supporters to cancel reoccurring donations, a move covered under Rule 239 as “Never be afraid to mislabel a product”.

Trump, who believes he is running for the position of ‘Grand Nagus’ of the United States, has a personal motto of “A man is only worth the sum of his possessions”, which is his favourite of the rules.

Others of his favourite rules include ‘war is good for business’ and ‘Employees are rungs on the ladder of success – don’t hesitate to step on them’.

Read more: http://newsthump.com/2016/08/06/donald-trump-pledges-to-replace-constitution-with-the-ferengi-rules-of-acquisition/

[Stuart G]

1. Ferengi Rules of Acquisition....OH MY..!!!!!!

An obscure reference to.. "Star Trek The Next Generation..."...who will know but us, as to who the Frengis were????...................this last line might give it away...but you never know...
"The leak was described as ‘Unsurprising, predictable and weak’ by Trump’s opponent in the race, Hillary Klingon."

[TexasTowelie]

5. And the best thing for Donald is that there will be no DNA evidence

when he receives oomocks in the Oval office.

[Stuart G]

6. About the DNA .... so is he an alien from Ferengi? or.....

some other planet far far away....in a galaxy far far away.......

..he ain't from earth, that is obvious..

[gelsdorf]

7. I've been saying this for months

A partial list:

1. Once you have their money, never give it back
2. You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try
3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to
4. Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough
5. If you can't break a contract, bend it
6. Never let family stand in the way of opportunity
7. Always keep you ears open
8. Keep count of your change
9. Instinct plus opportunity equals profit
10. A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one
11. Latinum isn't the only thing that shines
12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money
14. Anything stolen is pure profit
15. Acting stupid is often smart
16. A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along
17. A bargain usually isn't
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all
19. Don't lie too soon after a promotion
20. When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat
21. Never place friend ship before profit
22. Wise men can hear profit in the wind
23. Never take the last coin, but be sure to get the rest
24. Never ask when you can take
25. Fear makes a good business partner
26. The vast majority of the rich in this galaxy did not inherit their wealth; they stole it
27. The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down
28. Morality is always defined by those in power
29. When someone says "It's not the money," they're lying
30. Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother
32. Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss
34. War is good for business
35. Peace is good for business
36. Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore
37. You can always buy back a lost reputation
38. Free advertising is cheap
39. Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers
40. If you see profit on a journey, take it
41. Money talks, but having a lots of it gets more attention
42. Only negotiate when you are certain to profit
43. Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon
44. Never argue with a loaded phaser
45. Profit has limits. Loss has none
46. Labor camps are full of people who trusted the wrong person

[RapSoDee]

2. The Ferengi Republicans are really not very funny. But, what the hell, LOL.

[Stuart G]

4. Outstanding Picture...thanks for posting.....look at those ears..........

[Stellar]

3. LOL! the Ferengi!!!

[lindysalsagal]

8. Some of my favorites:

6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
21 Never place friendship above profit.
34 War is good for business
48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
94 Females and finances don't mix.
111 Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.
139 Wives serve, brothers inherit.
211 Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.

Can I get an Amen?

[TexasTowelie]

9. You get an amen for those,

but Donald is adhering to rule #237. "There's a sucker born every minute. Be sure you're the first to find each one."

[lindysalsagal]

10. Much obliged.

[meow2u3]

11. Donald "Ferengi" Trump

[hunter]

12. Ferengi are the most reliable trading partners in the known universe...

..not because they are honest or trustworthy, but because they are predictable, and even honorable in their own perverse manner.

Trump is not Ferengi.