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Samantha

(9,314 posts)
Tue Jun 12, 2012, 06:05 PM Jun 2012

I want to tell you a story

Last edited Wed Jun 13, 2012, 01:24 AM - Edit history (2)

I was inspired by Sheepshank's thread to tell you a story. Here goes.

Some time ago, I relocated to a small rural area in the panhandle of West Virginia. Having grown up for the most part and having been educated in the DC metropolitan area, I lived in a state of culture shock for the first five years. I could tell you many incidents that would surprise you, but the one that came to mind as I read Sheepshank's thread was the one that involved a visit with my former husband's friend in rural Pennsylvania.

He and his wife were very friendly and talked of life events in the area in which they lived. His wife in particular focused on a couple down the road where the husband habitually beat his wife to keep her in line. To my shock and horror, the husband said many men in that area thought the Bible taught that a man should discipline his wife in the same manner he would his children if she sinned against God or failed to submit to her husband, the head of the household.

"But he really hurts her when he beats her, and it happens all the time," his wife weakly objected. Perhaps she did not want to risk appearing to question a husband's authority....

One day we returned for another visit, and the wife volunteered another installment of the ongoing problems down the road. It turned out one night when the husband went to bed and fell asleep, his wife tied him up with the bedsheets. She picked up his baseball bat and then proceeded to beat the -- shall I say the Bejesus -- out of him. Things had quietened down considerably since that incident.

I rode home that evening for a short while in stone silence, not being able to believe some of the things I was learning about cultural beliefs held by some in the midst of where I now lived. I quietly looked over at my companion behind the wheel, and said, "Always remember, regardless of what happens, YOU GOTTA SLEEP SOME TIME. He looked shocked momentarily, but then broke into laughter and said he would keep that in mind.

For the remaining duration of my life in West Virginia, when things would happen that seemed headed towards a disagreement between the two of us, take a wild guess at the line that was always my opening response. Good natured that he was, those simple words always diffused whatever tension had arisen.

As all good stories end, that couple in question lived happily ever after with a newly-found sense of parity of their relationship.

Sam


4 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
I want to tell you a story (Original Post) Samantha Jun 2012 OP
Don't think that domestic violence only happens Marcia Brady Jun 2012 #1
Decades ago one of my closest friends was married to this guy malaise Jun 2012 #2
I know I should not have laughed but that story is wonderful because it too Samantha Jun 2012 #3
I'll see you at the Meck for open mike wink wink :) Drew Richards Jun 2012 #4

Marcia Brady

(108 posts)
1. Don't think that domestic violence only happens
Tue Jun 12, 2012, 06:16 PM
Jun 2012

in rural areas! It is rampant throughout our society, regardless of religion (or lack thereof,) geography, class, race, sex, age, or any other factor you can think of.

malaise

(269,004 posts)
2. Decades ago one of my closest friends was married to this guy
Tue Jun 12, 2012, 06:23 PM
Jun 2012

Well one day he showed his true colors and beat her up - and left the house.
He had a vast record collection and she methodically destroyed the best of his collection.
When he returned home she told him to sit down. She then told him that if he ever raised his hand again in her direction she would wait until he was sleeping, put a pan of cooking oil on the fire, stick a funnel down his ear and fry his fugging brains.

He never hit another woman in his life and he just turned 70. Once was enough for her and she filed for divorce the week after he hit her.




Samantha

(9,314 posts)
3. I know I should not have laughed but that story is wonderful because it too
Tue Jun 12, 2012, 06:29 PM
Jun 2012

Last edited Wed Jun 13, 2012, 01:26 AM - Edit history (1)

tells women they have to stand up for themselves. I think it is a lot more difficult concept to grasp when one lives way out in the middle of nowhere, and there is no one to turn to for assistance. I asked why the woman in my story did not leave this man, and the answer was that she had two small children and she had nowhere to go. In that particular area, there were no police, no fire department, no nothing, just an isolated road up in the mountains where I guess it was every man (and every woman) for themselves.

Thank you for sharing this story.

Sam

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