A repost from October 2008

[NanceGreggs]

If I Don't Stand With You .... what I Stand for Matters Not.

I wear a ring, a gift from my husband. It is inscribed in Hebrew with a quote from the Songs of Solomon: “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.”

It’s a simple statement, but it is one my beloved and I are free to declare – publicly and openly, without fear of ridicule or derision. That freedom of expression is not based on our commitment to one another – it is based on the fact that we are a man and a woman.

I consider myself a tolerant person, one who truly makes an effort to understand the viewpoint of others – even when their staunchly held opinion vastly differs from my own.

But on one topic in particular, I have failed miserably in trying to understand – or be tolerant of – the distaste and distrust, the baseless paranoia, and the incredible narrowness of mind that refuses to recognize that love knows no boundaries – nor was it ever meant to.

If we have one common destiny as human beings, surely it is to constantly strive for a more perfect world. And I can’t help but wonder how we can pretend to perfect ourselves in a world where love must be hidden for appearance’s sake, relegated to something “done” behind closed doors, or denied altogether because it is socially unacceptable.

To those who are currently living without the rights they so obviously deserve, I will not deign to say, “I know how you feel.” Because I can’t possibly know.

Never having been there, I can’t know what it’s like to worry about being denied a death-bed visitation with the person I’ve spent my life with. I cannot know how it feels to long to hold a child in my arms while resigning myself to the fact that the care I would give so freely is deemed unworthy by those who do not know me, and never will.

I cannot know what it’s like to restrain myself from spontaneously throwing my arms around the one I love for fear we are in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing, and might suffer dire consequences for actions that come as naturally to us as they do lovers everywhere, and have since the beginning of time.

Please forgive my inability to express myself as articulately as I normally pride myself on being able to do. But what I really want to say (albeit incredibly inartfully tonight) is this: If I do not stand with my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters, everything I have ever believed in falls away. If I am not willing to fight their fight, I am woefully inadequate to fight at all. If I am not ready to do what is necessary to make things right for them, I have no right to believe that anything will ever be truly right for me.

I realize how easy it is to ask for patience, when I am not the one called upon to be patient. I appreciate how unspeakably glib it sounds to say your time is coming, when my time has already arrived. I am cognizant of how condescending it may seem to preach tolerance of the very people who have shown no tolerance at all. And if and when I am guilty of any or all of the above, I humbly beg your pardon.

Simply put, you are my beloveds, and I am yours.

And if I ever waver in my commitment to you or your cause, remind me that if I don’t stand with you, I don’t deserve to stand at all.



It seemed appropriate to repost this message tonight, because here we are - eight years later - still being "tested" by those who question our commitment to equal rights for ALL, by those who try, through violence and the propagation of hatred, to dissuade us from what we KNOW is right.

We who believe that love IS love that has no boundaries need to stand firm. We who believe that ALL love is created equal need to redouble our efforts to promote the idea that LOVE, rather than hatred, is the natural order of things. We who believe that LOVE is not defined by what a bunch of homophobic extremists say it is have to speak out without hesitation.

THIS is the time to speak up. THIS is the time to say "never again". THIS is the time to say "I am with you".

This IS the time. So do it.

[sheshe2]

1. I am with you 100% on your intent.

One issue.

I realize how easy it is to ask for patience, when I am not the one called upon to be patient. I appreciate how unspeakably glib it sounds to say your time is coming, when my time has already arrived.

Our time hasn't arrived either. Women have yet to arrive.

Sorry, Sorry, that is one point I cannot agree.

[NanceGreggs]

2. My "time" being accepted as a heretorosexual woman ...

... arrived with the dawn of history.

My "time" as a woman in other respects is another topic.

[sheshe2]

3. Got it....

Thanks.

[NanceGreggs]

4. I knew you would. n/t

[brer cat]

5. Well said, Nance.

K&R