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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsTop 10 Conservative Idiots #25: Wheel O’Corruption 3: Dark Of The Moon Edition
Top 10 Conservative Idiots #25: Wheel OCorruption 3: Dark Of The Moon Edition
Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! It both tastes great and is less filling! Whew!!! And in case you were wondering, why yes, I am naming all the Wheel O'Corruption editions after terrible Michael Bay sequel titles. The next one will be "Age Of Extinction" followed by "Out Of The Shadows". You know we took a week off last week and it feels like an eternity doesnt it? But you know we couldnt really do a proper idiots list in the wake of the death of His Purpleness, Prince Rogers Nelson. It really was kind of a sad week last week wasnt it? You had tributes everywhere. And how great was Saturday Night Live playing the entire episode just chock full of great performances from Prince. I mean the man was truly legendary in what a performer he was. And not only was he a virtuoso on guitar, keyboards and just about every instrument you can think of, he also had his own way of doing things. I mean come on lets give it up for Prince! Now I know I say this every week but this might be our biggest edition ever. But first John Oliver enlisted the help of Hamiltons Lin Manuel Miranda to rap about the dire straits that Puerto Rico is in, mainly the doing of Conservative Idiot Hall Of Famer Strom Thurmond:
So as I promised in the last edition, and I am a man of my word, like the Joker from the Dark Knight, the Wheel OCorruption is back, yo! For the wheel this week we got a lot of conservative idiocy to discuss. The first entry is going to go to The Bathroom Police (1). Yes, conservatives policing bathrooms sadly is still a thing and not going away any time soon. Taking the second slot this week John Kasich (2) has a crazy sense of false hope that he is going to walk away the victor of a potentially brokered GOP convention that hes already naming potential VP picks and has formed a sort-of alliance with Ted Cruz in the hopes of taking down Trumpenfuror. At number 3, Trumpenfuror sets womens rights back about 100 years. In the number 4 slot, we are going to Maine where governor Paul LePage (4) is one of the craziest people in politics. Whew, boy he had some gems this week. At number 5, Alex Jones (5) really hates Beyonce for some reason and thinks her new album Lemonade is part of a CIA mind control plot. Like they do. Alex Jones closest rival Glenn Beck (6) takes the number 6 seed this week. So Glenn Beck has a godly explanation as to why the primaries seem like an eternity anymore. Be sure to stock up on plenty of popcorn for that one! In the number 7 slot there was way too much idiocy to comprehend for this week, so were going to try something different. We are going to have a Wheel OCorruption Lightning Round (7). With 3 minutes on the clock and a bunch of stories being rapid fired off, anything can happen!. At number 8, Ted Cruz (8) prematurely picks his vice presidential nominee, while being called Satan by former house speaker John Boehner. In the number 9 slot, while on the subject of trans issues, Keith Ablow makes the case for the APA to finally yank his medical license. As if he hasnt already. Finally this week we are going to devote the #10 slot by talking about science fiction. Do you guys and gals like science fiction? Did you know that a conservative faction led by white supremacist author and Canadian gift-giving holiday Vox Day (10) are trying to rig the Hugo Awards for the second year in a row? I went down the wormhole on this and its crazier than you would think it is. And we are going to put the new Top 10 Twitter feed to some good use. Enjoy! And as always dont forget the key !
[font size="8"]The Bathroom Police [/font]
So for this edition were going to spin an imaginary wheel for republican corruption. Use your best imagination for this one. Like what Stephen Colbert uses.
The wheel is back everybody!! And yes just like last time Ill talk about whatever the wheel lands on. But remember that if it lands on the Guacamole option that it costs $1.50 extra.
- Gun Nuts
- Donald Trump
- Go Directly To Jail
- Clip Without Context
- Guacamole
- 5,000
- Poison
- Poison (The Band)
- New Car
- Bankrupt
- Satan
- Buy A Vowel
- Prince
- Food
- Whammy
- Vice Presidents
- Chuck Norris
- Anti Abortion
- VR Headset
- Science Fiction
- Get Out Of Jail Free
- End Times Worship
- 10,000
- Celebrity Look Alikes
- Fox & Friends
- Double Whammy
- 15,000
- Casting News
- Supermassive Black Hole
- Money
- The Eagles
- Sex Scandals
- Racism
- Something random in the news
- ??? (Mystery)
- Florida (Obviously)
- Infowars
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin
Lets get this shit going! Spin it! And it lands on . Celebrity look alikes! Does this woman who appeared on Maury last week look like Ted Cruz? Well you be the judge!
My god the resemblance is uncanny! I mean the best plastic surgeon in the world couldnt do a job that good! And if you guessed this woman is going to do porn, you are correct sir/madam! You get points!
Spin it again! And this time it lands on . Bathrooms. Sigh. After the last editions scathing report on the GOP and bathroom crimes, have we not learned anything? I guess not because were a Z-rated show. So GOP, you fucked up on this one, and you continue to fuck up. So much that other countries are issuing tourism warnings to their LGBT residents to avoid the US because the anti-LGBT sentiment is so toxic that its beginning to become a problem. Honestly the anti-LGBT rhetoric in this country is becoming like Chinas pollution problem, or that mole on your back. It was fine when you checked it a year ago, but when you look at it again, its grown to the point where you should probably have a specialist take a look at that thing. Look at what the British government did just last week:
In the eyes of the British government, the U.S. may now be a risky destination for LGBT travelers. The British Foreign Office posted a travel advisory update to its website Tuesday warning members of the lesbian gay, bisexual, and transgender communities about anti-LGBT laws passed recently in North Carolina and Mississippi.
"The U.S. is an extremely diverse society and attitudes towards LGBT people differ hugely across the country," the advisory reads. "LGBT travelers may be affected by legislation passed recently in the states of North Carolina and Mississippi."
Read more: http://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/britain-issues-travel-warning-for-lgbt-people-headed-to-us/ar-BBs4iKE?ocid=spartandhp
"The U.S. is an extremely diverse society and attitudes towards LGBT people differ hugely across the country," the advisory reads. "LGBT travelers may be affected by legislation passed recently in the states of North Carolina and Mississippi."
Read more: http://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/britain-issues-travel-warning-for-lgbt-people-headed-to-us/ar-BBs4iKE?ocid=spartandhp
Bravo fundies. Youve officially made it completely unsafe for LGBT families abroad to travel safely to the US for holidays. I mean how are their children supposed to enjoy Disneyland or New York City? Well done.
Seriously I thought we had made progress in this area, but nope. So much that Target has weighed in on their issues regarding North Carolinas HB-2.
(Reuters) - Target Corp said on Tuesday that transgender employees and customers could use the bathroom that corresponds with their gender identity, becoming the first big retailer to weigh in on an issue at the center of a heated national debate.
The move came after North Carolina last month became the first U.S. state to require transgender people to use restrooms and changing rooms in schools and other public facilities that match their sex at birth rather than their gender identity. Lawmakers in some other states have also floated similar laws.
The law in North Carolina does not affect private-sector businesses, which are free to set their own policies, Governor Pat McCrory said in issuing an executive order related to the measure earlier this month.
Backers of the legislation in the Republican-controlled North Carolina legislature say it is meant to protect privacy rights and keep children and women safe from sexual predators.
Read more: https://www.yahoo.com/news/retailer-target-says-transgender-people-bathroom-choice-001322045--finance.html?nhp=1
The move came after North Carolina last month became the first U.S. state to require transgender people to use restrooms and changing rooms in schools and other public facilities that match their sex at birth rather than their gender identity. Lawmakers in some other states have also floated similar laws.
The law in North Carolina does not affect private-sector businesses, which are free to set their own policies, Governor Pat McCrory said in issuing an executive order related to the measure earlier this month.
Backers of the legislation in the Republican-controlled North Carolina legislature say it is meant to protect privacy rights and keep children and women safe from sexual predators.
Read more: https://www.yahoo.com/news/retailer-target-says-transgender-people-bathroom-choice-001322045--finance.html?nhp=1
Yes so Target has weighed in on the subject. Its officially OK for trans people to use their preferred gender bathrooms at their stores. But did you see the last part of that article? Private entities are exempt from the law meaning that they can dictate their own policies and what Target is doing is exactly what the law says. Now heres where things are getting out of control. First take a look at this video from The Liberal Redneck about the subject:
And then read where a Georgia republican casually admits that so-called "religious freedom" bills are actually designed to protect the KKK. Holy fuck. We live in the matrix. But now check out where this cop says he would beat the living shit out of anyone who dares use the wrong bathroom:
The sheriff of Denton County, Texas, Tracy Murphree, is so transphobic that he has no qualms about physically assaulting trans people who use the restrooms of the genders with which they identify. He has a young daughter, so of course he thinks hes justified in doing this, regardless of what the woman does in the restroom while his daughter is in there. In fact, he actually said :
All I can say is this: If my little girl is in a public womens restroom and a man, regardless of how he may identify, goes into the bathroom, he will then identify as a John Doe until he wakes up in whatever hospital he may be taken to. Your identity does not trump my little girls safety. I identify as an overprotective father that loves his kids and would do anything to protect them.
How does a law enforcement officer justify that kind of battery if theres no danger? How would he know that every person who entered that restroom was female at birth? Trans people use restrooms like the rest of us they go in, find a stall, shut the door, do their business, flush, leave the stall, wash their hands, and leave the restroom. Thats it. Thats all.
http://news.groopspeak.com/texas-gop-cop-would-beat-a-trans-woman-till-she-needed-hospital-care-gets-owned-on-his-own-post/
All I can say is this: If my little girl is in a public womens restroom and a man, regardless of how he may identify, goes into the bathroom, he will then identify as a John Doe until he wakes up in whatever hospital he may be taken to. Your identity does not trump my little girls safety. I identify as an overprotective father that loves his kids and would do anything to protect them.
How does a law enforcement officer justify that kind of battery if theres no danger? How would he know that every person who entered that restroom was female at birth? Trans people use restrooms like the rest of us they go in, find a stall, shut the door, do their business, flush, leave the stall, wash their hands, and leave the restroom. Thats it. Thats all.
http://news.groopspeak.com/texas-gop-cop-would-beat-a-trans-woman-till-she-needed-hospital-care-gets-owned-on-his-own-post/
What the hell is wrong with these people? And I always thought cops were supposed to serve and protect, not beat the shit out of innocent people just needing to pee. But heres where one right-wing religious fundamentalist takes things way too far, and takes the Target name literally:
Years of lugging guns around in public places such as supermarkets have resulted in zero terrorist plots thwarted. As such, ammosexuals have had to find a fresh new reason to make sure they are armed to the teeth every time they go outside of their homes. This time, the threat is only Isis if thats the name of a transgender woman who happens to be in a public restroom.
Christian Extremist and president of a theocratic law group named The Liberty Council Anita Staver has declared to the internet that she will be carrying a firearm with her every time she uses the bathroom in public from now on.
Staver took to Twitter to make her formal declaration of pseudo-vigilantism.
Liberty Lawyer ?@AnitaStaver
I'm taking a Glock .45 to the ladies room. It identifies as my bodyguard. #BoycottTarget @Target
1:48 PM - 22 Apr 2016
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2016/04/25/christian-lawyer-threatens-transgender-women-with-gun-violence-if-they-use-same-bathroom-as-her/
Christian Extremist and president of a theocratic law group named The Liberty Council Anita Staver has declared to the internet that she will be carrying a firearm with her every time she uses the bathroom in public from now on.
Staver took to Twitter to make her formal declaration of pseudo-vigilantism.
Liberty Lawyer ?@AnitaStaver
I'm taking a Glock .45 to the ladies room. It identifies as my bodyguard. #BoycottTarget @Target
1:48 PM - 22 Apr 2016
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2016/04/25/christian-lawyer-threatens-transgender-women-with-gun-violence-if-they-use-same-bathroom-as-her/
Holy fucking shit. You know we should not be afraid of trans people just needing to take a piss. What do they think we do in the bathroom? Hang around for the ambiance? Hell no! We pee, wash hands, and get the hell out. You know who we should be afraid of? Crazy gun-toting right wing lunatics like this batshit crazy woman who are declaring themselves judge, jury and executioner. They should not get to call themselves religious. Instead, theyre raging assholes. Give it up, fundies. And by the way if you guessed that the actual rate of a trans person committing a crime is zero, you are correct sir / madam! You get points!
http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/davidbadash/watch_even_fox_news_host_chris_wallace_calls_bathroom_bills_a_solution_in_search_of_a_problem
Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace slammed anti-LGBT conservatives this weekend for their obsession with so-called "bathroom bills," like North Carolina's HB2, that ban transgender people from using restrooms that conform to their gender identity.
After listening to conservative pundit and publisher Ben Domenech's claim that they are necessary to prevent men not transgender women from attacking women in restrooms, Wallace decided to point to actual research.
"We actually decided to try to find out whether it is a public safety issue, whether it is a problem with transgender people misusing bathrooms to prey on others," Wallace told his viewers.
"Here is what the fact checking group PolitiFact found," he said, reading their statement. "'We,' thats the PolitiFact, 'haven't found any instance of criminals convicted of using transgender protections as cover in the United States. Neither have any left wing groups or right wing groups.'"
Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace slammed anti-LGBT conservatives this weekend for their obsession with so-called "bathroom bills," like North Carolina's HB2, that ban transgender people from using restrooms that conform to their gender identity.
After listening to conservative pundit and publisher Ben Domenech's claim that they are necessary to prevent men not transgender women from attacking women in restrooms, Wallace decided to point to actual research.
"We actually decided to try to find out whether it is a public safety issue, whether it is a problem with transgender people misusing bathrooms to prey on others," Wallace told his viewers.
"Here is what the fact checking group PolitiFact found," he said, reading their statement. "'We,' thats the PolitiFact, 'haven't found any instance of criminals convicted of using transgender protections as cover in the United States. Neither have any left wing groups or right wing groups.'"
Damn you know youve fucked up when Fox News points out how much youve fucked up.
Oh and in case you were wondering, Ted Cruz has a solution trans people should just not use public bathrooms at all!
Ted Cruzs tour de transphobia, launched last week to capitalize on Donald Trumps criticism of North Carolinas anti-transgender law, has embraced a new extreme position. Speaking to reporters this weekend in Indiana, he actually admitted that he doesnt believe transgender people should be allowed to use any restroom except the ones in the privacy of their own home.
Every one of us has the right to live our lives as we wish, he said. If any one of us wants to dress up as a woman or man and wants to live as woman or man and believes that we might be something other than what we were born, God has made each of us with free will and the ability to choose to do that if man to wants to dress as a woman, and live as a woman, and have a bathroom at home.
http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2016/04/26/3772708/ted-cruz-transgender-bathrooms-at-home/
Every one of us has the right to live our lives as we wish, he said. If any one of us wants to dress up as a woman or man and wants to live as woman or man and believes that we might be something other than what we were born, God has made each of us with free will and the ability to choose to do that if man to wants to dress as a woman, and live as a woman, and have a bathroom at home.
http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2016/04/26/3772708/ted-cruz-transgender-bathrooms-at-home/
So whats the solution Teddy? Diapers? That weird walker with a bucket they sell in senior pharmacies? Trash cans? Sinks? Alleyways? A 64 ounce "Big Gulp" cup from 7-11? I could keep going! If you're going to take away a group of people's basic right to take a piss, you'd better be providing some fucking alternatives! Otherwise we will brand you as a paid spokesperson for the adult diaper industry! Ted Cruz: The official Senator of Depends Corporation! And that title previously went to David Vitter by the way.
And if you were wondering what an actual bathroom crime that the GOP is afraid of looks like, why guess what? It's not being committed by trans people! Instead it's being committed by - you guessed it - creepy white guys!
http://wkrg.com/2016/04/27/man-arrested-for-photographing-boy-in-restroom/
26-year-old Korey Byron Holt was arrested by Pensacola police yesterday afternoon for allegedly photographing an 11-year-old boy while he was using the restroom.
Holt is charged with video voyeurism and disturbing the peace.
Authorities made the arrest following an investigation where they determined Holt held a camera over a stall and took a picture of the boy. The incident occurred on Sunday around noon at a Pensacola church.
Police learned of the incident after the boy told an adult who later called the police. The 11-year-old boy said he saw someone reach over the top of the bathroom stall next to his and take a picture of him.
26-year-old Korey Byron Holt was arrested by Pensacola police yesterday afternoon for allegedly photographing an 11-year-old boy while he was using the restroom.
Holt is charged with video voyeurism and disturbing the peace.
Authorities made the arrest following an investigation where they determined Holt held a camera over a stall and took a picture of the boy. The incident occurred on Sunday around noon at a Pensacola church.
Police learned of the incident after the boy told an adult who later called the police. The 11-year-old boy said he saw someone reach over the top of the bathroom stall next to his and take a picture of him.
[font size="8"]John Kasich [/font]
Spin it to win it! And it lands on . Guacamole. Come on out, here, Fernando! So heres your $2. Everyone, Fernando is our sous chef here at the Top 10. Fernando, say hi to the audience. Audience, say hi to Fernando. Like most good chefs in California, we found Fernando working in the back of a Burger King and decided that his talents were much better put to use working as the official sous chef of the Top 10. See I have this amazing homemade burrito with carnitas al pastor, rice, refried beans, cheese and hot sauce, and Fernando is going to prepare my table side guacamole. Not too many tomatoes. In fact, almost none. Light on the onions. And can I get some of that habanero seasoning? Yeah look at that!
Lets try some. Mmmmmmmmm. Thats Fernando everybody!
Spin it again! And it lands on . Vice presidents! You know, those guys whose Hall Of is the least visited attraction at Disneyland. So in the last edition, I talked about how Donald Trump floated several possible vice presidential picks. Now John Kasich is doing the same in the hopes that the convention will be brokered.
Ohio Gov. John Kasich's campaign is starting to vet potential vice presidential running mates that it may use as part of its pitch at the Republican convention in Cleveland, he said in an interview Saturday.
"Well, we have some old hands now who are beginning to do that," Kasich said in an interview for Sunday's CBS "Face the Nation." "These things come quickly and you don't want to have yourself in a position where you've got to pick somebody out of a hat."
And asked whether that's something he will use in Cleveland to help get delegates to turn his way after the first ballot, Kasich replied: "Yeah, I think it's always possible."
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/john-kasich-my-campaign-is-vice-presidential-candidates/
"Well, we have some old hands now who are beginning to do that," Kasich said in an interview for Sunday's CBS "Face the Nation." "These things come quickly and you don't want to have yourself in a position where you've got to pick somebody out of a hat."
And asked whether that's something he will use in Cleveland to help get delegates to turn his way after the first ballot, Kasich replied: "Yeah, I think it's always possible."
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/john-kasich-my-campaign-is-vice-presidential-candidates/
And how far behind is Kasich in the polls, you may ask? Well I answer you, good sir / madam, with this:
And now the bad polling news for Kasich: A new Monmouth University survey of likely Republican primary voters in Maryland, which holds an April 26 primary, shows Trump ahead in Maryland at 47 percent, followed by Kasich at 27 percent and Cruz at 19 percent. The poll also shows Trump leading in congressional districts key to the convention delegate chase. Kasich's strength against Clinton is moot if he can't get to and through a contested GOP convention.
"If Trump's current level of support translates to each of Maryland's eight congressional districts, he may be able to run the table," said Monmouth polling director Patrick Murray.
http://www.cleveland.com/open/index.ssf/2016/04/polls_show_good_news_and_bad_n.html
"If Trump's current level of support translates to each of Maryland's eight congressional districts, he may be able to run the table," said Monmouth polling director Patrick Murray.
http://www.cleveland.com/open/index.ssf/2016/04/polls_show_good_news_and_bad_n.html
So trailing by 20%, Trumpenfuror would still win at the GOP convention if these polls prove to be accurate. So he thinks he can still win? Is this some kind of new math I wasnt taught in school? But Kasich has a strategy! He and Ted Cruz are planning to form an alliance!
With Texas Sen. Ted Cruz and Ohio Gov. John Kasich both mathematically eliminated from clinching the Republican nomination, Donald Trump is the only candidate left who can secure the spot as the party's representative. Knowing this, Cruz and Kasich have decided to join forces, form a team, and attempt to block the billionaire real estate mogul from reaching his goal.
As Cruz sits with 559 delegates, and Kasich holds on to just 148, both candidates have decided that coming together is their best shot at forcing a brokered convention. Establishment leaders have been dreading a possible Trump victory, and with less than three months until the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Ohio, desperate times have called for desperate measures. The Hill elaborated more on the story on April 24.
As Cruz sits with 559 delegates, and Kasich holds on to just 148, both candidates have decided that coming together is their best shot at forcing a brokered convention. Establishment leaders have been dreading a possible Trump victory, and with less than three months until the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Ohio, desperate times have called for desperate measures. The Hill elaborated more on the story on April 24.
But John Kasich on the other hand should be extremely wary of who Ted Cruz might want for his VP pick, and its original idiot Carly Fiorina (see Idiots #1 ). Anyone remember that the Planned Parenthood shooter was directly inspired by Fiorinas batshit crazy anti-abortion propaganda? Anyone?
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/carly-fiorina-vetted-ted-cruz-vp-pick-source/story?id=38662185
Carly Fiorina is being vetted by Ted Cruz's campaign as a possible vice presidential pick, a source with knowledge of the process told ABC News.
The source said no offers have been made at this time.
Carly Fiorina is being vetted by Ted Cruz's campaign as a possible vice presidential pick, a source with knowledge of the process told ABC News.
The source said no offers have been made at this time.
So with Teddy and Johnny forming an alliance, is Johnny the Newman to Teddys Jerry?
[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]
Spin that shit! Clip without context!
Was Donald Trump describing the horrors of 9-11, or did he actually eat one of those disgusting $2 awesomeness guaranteed chicken sandwiches at 7-11? Because either way both require first responders. That chicken sandwich may be $2 now buy you will be paying for it with a gastric bypass operation later on.
Spin it again! And it lands on .. Donald Trump. Yes Donald Trump has his own brand of batshit insane conservative lunacy. So Trumpenfuror was campaigning in Pennsylvania this week, and after the flub of him asking about Joe Paterno (see the last edition), this time Buzzfeed uncovered some old interviews where he unleashes some good old fashioned 1950s misogyny. Specifically this happened:
Buzzfeed took a look back at a series of interviews from 2003 to 2007, in which Trump held forth on fatherhood, taking care of the kids, and parental gender roles. The real estate mogul, who is not exactly known for being consistent, stayed on message about parenthood throughout: Dads supply the money, moms do everything else.
Heres an overview of what these interviews teach us about the GOP frontrunner as a dad and husband.
Trump doesnt change diapers
No, I dont do that, Trump said on the Opie and Anthony show in 2005. Theres a lot of women out there that demand that the husband act like the wife and you know theres a lot of husbands that listen to that Im really like a great father but certain things you do and certain things you dont. Its just not for me.
or really do anything hands-on to care for his kids.
I mean, I wont do anything to take care of them. Ill supply funds and shell take care of the kids. Its not like Im gonna be walking the kids down Central Park, Trump said in a 2005 interview with Howard Stern. Marla used to say, I cant believe youre not walking Tiffany down the street, you know in a carriage. Right, Im gonna be walking down Fifth Avenue with a baby in a carriage. It just didnt work.
Its not just babies that Trump avoids.
In a 2007 interview, Trump told Stern about his relationship with Tiffany, his daughter with Marla Marples. Trump said that Tiffany visits him, You know for about an hour, Hi dad, Hi Tiff, I love you Tiff. Shes a great kid, says Trump, who tells Stern that Tiffanys a smart girlsomething he knows because he glances at her report cards.
http://fortune.com/2016/04/24/trump-act-like-wife/
Heres an overview of what these interviews teach us about the GOP frontrunner as a dad and husband.
Trump doesnt change diapers
No, I dont do that, Trump said on the Opie and Anthony show in 2005. Theres a lot of women out there that demand that the husband act like the wife and you know theres a lot of husbands that listen to that Im really like a great father but certain things you do and certain things you dont. Its just not for me.
or really do anything hands-on to care for his kids.
I mean, I wont do anything to take care of them. Ill supply funds and shell take care of the kids. Its not like Im gonna be walking the kids down Central Park, Trump said in a 2005 interview with Howard Stern. Marla used to say, I cant believe youre not walking Tiffany down the street, you know in a carriage. Right, Im gonna be walking down Fifth Avenue with a baby in a carriage. It just didnt work.
Its not just babies that Trump avoids.
In a 2007 interview, Trump told Stern about his relationship with Tiffany, his daughter with Marla Marples. Trump said that Tiffany visits him, You know for about an hour, Hi dad, Hi Tiff, I love you Tiff. Shes a great kid, says Trump, who tells Stern that Tiffanys a smart girlsomething he knows because he glances at her report cards.
http://fortune.com/2016/04/24/trump-act-like-wife/
Changing diapers and raising your children is for stupid losers. See only winners like me who have gigantic penises are the real bread winners of this world. You know Im a very smart businessman, I make good decisions, I use the best words. And I cant do any of that if Im tied down and changing diapers! I just cant do it! Because thats stupid loser work!
Is he Borat now?
In other Trumpenfuror news while we won't get into his failed foreign policy speech this week (next week though... ), we will point out that Donald Trump has locked up the rageaholic vote by getting endorsements from former Indiana coach Bob Knight, Mike Tyson, and Mike Pence. So his key supporters so far are a raging asshole, a raging asshole, and a raging asshole. So Donald Trump has that vote locked up! Donald was once again fear mongering about ISIS:
"We don't know where they're from, we don't know where they're from, they have no documentation," Trump continued. "We all have hearts and we can build safe zones in Syria -- and we'll get the Gulf states to put up the money, we're not putting up the money -- but I'll get that done."
"Lock your doors folks, okay, lock your doors," Trump concluded. "There's no documentation, we have our incompetent government people letting them in by the thousands, and who knows, maybe it's ISIS. You see what happens with two people that became radicalized in California, where they shot and killed all their coworkers. Not with me, folks, it's not happening with me."
http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2016/04/25/3772530/donald-trump-fear-mongers-syrian-refugees/
"Lock your doors folks, okay, lock your doors," Trump concluded. "There's no documentation, we have our incompetent government people letting them in by the thousands, and who knows, maybe it's ISIS. You see what happens with two people that became radicalized in California, where they shot and killed all their coworkers. Not with me, folks, it's not happening with me."
http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2016/04/25/3772530/donald-trump-fear-mongers-syrian-refugees/
And by the way in case you were wondering yes, skinheads did turn up in droves at a Trumpenfuror rally in Pennsylvania this week:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/04/26/skinheads-come-out-in-full-force-for-donald-trump-in-pennsylvania.html
A Donald Trump rally in Harrisburg, Pa. last week brought out a large and varied crowd: teens in business suits, Republican members of Congress, and racist skinheads.
Almost a dozen white men decked out in the regalia of a white supremacist group hung out toward the back of the Trump-loving crowd, cheering heartily at the moguls calls for stricter immigration enforcement and eyeing police as they dispatched protesters.
The group is called Keystone United -- also known as the Keystone State Skinheads -- and its one of the better-organized state-level white supremacist franchises in the country.
A Donald Trump rally in Harrisburg, Pa. last week brought out a large and varied crowd: teens in business suits, Republican members of Congress, and racist skinheads.
Almost a dozen white men decked out in the regalia of a white supremacist group hung out toward the back of the Trump-loving crowd, cheering heartily at the moguls calls for stricter immigration enforcement and eyeing police as they dispatched protesters.
The group is called Keystone United -- also known as the Keystone State Skinheads -- and its one of the better-organized state-level white supremacist franchises in the country.
Ed. Note - don't worry! Next week we will be going into full detail about the Trump riots in California!
[font size="8"]Paul LePage[/font]
Entering the spin zone! Sweet, I get a get out of jail free card!
Ill just put that away for later. Spin it again! And this time it lands on racism. On the Top 10, Ive frequently talked about my love of the Tina Fey comedy 30 Rock and how life is imitating their art. In the 7th season of that show theres an episode where Tracy Morgan mimics a real life governor who is certifiably batshit insane. Really, honestly theres no way that 30 Rock could accurately recreate a character like Paul LePage. Hes our version of the late Toronto mayor Rob Ford, only without the crack smoking. So this week Maine held their annual GOP convention, where LePage went on this batshit crazy tirade and attacked Indian workers:
Bangor, Maine (AP) Maines Republican governor says its hard to understand workers from Bulgaria and workers from India are the worst ones.
Gov. Paul LePage said Saturday that foreign workers are being used in restaurants after he criticized a referendum proposal to raise Maines minimum wage to $12. He says hes disappointed his alternative proposal to hike the wage to $10 didnt get traction.
He described Indians as lovely people but youve got to have an interpreter.
LePage is known for making controversial remarks. In this case, he was chuckling as he spoke at the state party convention. He joked that his wife is going to get a job as a waitress for supplemental income.
He also had a crude remark about President Barack Obama, saying Obama stands for one big-ass mistake, America.
http://wbay.com/ap/maine-governor-workers-from-india-hardest-to-understand/
Gov. Paul LePage said Saturday that foreign workers are being used in restaurants after he criticized a referendum proposal to raise Maines minimum wage to $12. He says hes disappointed his alternative proposal to hike the wage to $10 didnt get traction.
He described Indians as lovely people but youve got to have an interpreter.
LePage is known for making controversial remarks. In this case, he was chuckling as he spoke at the state party convention. He joked that his wife is going to get a job as a waitress for supplemental income.
He also had a crude remark about President Barack Obama, saying Obama stands for one big-ass mistake, America.
http://wbay.com/ap/maine-governor-workers-from-india-hardest-to-understand/
Wow. Just . Wow. Where do we find these people? I mean seriously. Its almost as if life imitates art, or art imitates life. In one speech, LePage mocked Maines Indian population and denounced the idea of a $12 living wage for Maine. And One big ass mistake America? Thats not old by now? Sheesh, even the Republicans attempt at humor is pathetic, recycled, and as mean spirited as their talking points are. Its not that the fact that these people get elected mystifies me, its that they get re-elected. Like multiple times. Are the voters in Maine suffering from Stockholm syndrome?
But heres where LePage is busy crafting his own Nixon style enemies list which includes a peoples advocacy group and a pro environmental group:
Gov. Paul LePage used an address to the Maine GOP convention over the weekend to attack what he says are the greatest enemies to prosperity in the state: the Natural Resources Council of Maine and the Maine Peoples Alliance.
Representatives of the environmental and progressive advocacy organizations responded by saying the governor should work on uniting the state rather than dividing it.
http://news.mpbn.net/post/lepage-declares-2-maine-groups-enemies
Representatives of the environmental and progressive advocacy organizations responded by saying the governor should work on uniting the state rather than dividing it.
http://news.mpbn.net/post/lepage-declares-2-maine-groups-enemies
And another thing Paul LePage also gave a lecture at University of Maine Farmington, called the students idots then left 5 minutes in. And hes also trying to apologize for said incident.
Maine Gov. Paul LePage is apologizing and vowing to cut back on public appearances after clashing with two student protesters Tuesday at the University of Maine's Farmington campus and them "idiots."
"For more than five years, the media has flocked to events where I have been asked to speak, not to cover any good news about the events, but to disparage me over issues totally unrelated to the events," LePage said. "Since I am such a distraction to the media, I will no longer attend some of these public events."
http://www.necn.com/news/politics/Maine-Gov-Paul-LePage-Apologizes-After-Calling-Students-Idiots-Walking-Off-Stage-377350791.html
"For more than five years, the media has flocked to events where I have been asked to speak, not to cover any good news about the events, but to disparage me over issues totally unrelated to the events," LePage said. "Since I am such a distraction to the media, I will no longer attend some of these public events."
http://www.necn.com/news/politics/Maine-Gov-Paul-LePage-Apologizes-After-Calling-Students-Idiots-Walking-Off-Stage-377350791.html
Now as you all are aware now its widely believed that Prince died of an overdose of prescription pain killer Percoset. And when his jet landed in Illinois so that doctors could administer a life saving drug, that saved his life temporarily, its a damn good thing his jet didnt land in Maine, otherwise he would have died much sooner:
Brash Maine Gov. Paul LePage vetoed a bill that would make a life-saving overdose prevention medication more available because it will only prolong life until an addict's next overdose, he said.
LePage, a Republican, blocked the bill on Wednesday, which proposed to make the drug Naloxone designed to quickly counteract a potentially fatal opiate overdose available over the counter without a prescription to someone at risk, or their family members.
Naloxone does not truly save lives; it merely extends them until the next overdose, the controversial governor wrote in his rejection of the bill.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/reviled-maine-gov-paul-lepage-blocks-overdose-medication-bill-article-1.2612052
LePage, a Republican, blocked the bill on Wednesday, which proposed to make the drug Naloxone designed to quickly counteract a potentially fatal opiate overdose available over the counter without a prescription to someone at risk, or their family members.
Naloxone does not truly save lives; it merely extends them until the next overdose, the controversial governor wrote in his rejection of the bill.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/reviled-maine-gov-paul-lepage-blocks-overdose-medication-bill-article-1.2612052
Holy fuck. It takes a certain kind of crazy to believe that cold-hearted shit.
[font size="8"]Alex Jones [/font]
Spin it to win it! And where does it land? Nobody knows! Ah, it lands on the Eagles! And specifically Joe Walsh is pretty awesome. While we were on break last week this happened:
A Statement From Joe Walsh Regarding His Withdrawl From a Concert Event on Monday, July 18th in Cleveland, OH
April 20, 2016 - "It was my understanding that I was playing a concert which was a non partisan event to benefit the families of American veterans on Monday, July 18 in Cleveland. The admat I approved said this specifically. Today it was announced that this event is, in fact, a launch for the Republican National Convention. In addition, my name is to be used to raise sponsorship dollars for convention-related purposes. Therefore, I must humbly withdraw my participation in this event with apologies to any fans or veterans and their families that I might disappoint.
I am very concerned about the rampant vitriol, fear-mongering and bullying coming from the current Republican campaigns. It is both isolationist and spiteful. I cannot in good conscience endorse the Republican party in any way. I will look at doing a veteran related benefit concert later this year."
-- Joe Walsh
https://www.facebook.com/JoeWalshOfficial/?fref=nf
April 20, 2016 - "It was my understanding that I was playing a concert which was a non partisan event to benefit the families of American veterans on Monday, July 18 in Cleveland. The admat I approved said this specifically. Today it was announced that this event is, in fact, a launch for the Republican National Convention. In addition, my name is to be used to raise sponsorship dollars for convention-related purposes. Therefore, I must humbly withdraw my participation in this event with apologies to any fans or veterans and their families that I might disappoint.
I am very concerned about the rampant vitriol, fear-mongering and bullying coming from the current Republican campaigns. It is both isolationist and spiteful. I cannot in good conscience endorse the Republican party in any way. I will look at doing a veteran related benefit concert later this year."
-- Joe Walsh
https://www.facebook.com/JoeWalshOfficial/?fref=nf
Yes Joe Walsh hates the republicans and backed out of a planned concert which he later found out was a launching ground for this years GOP convention. Lets play some Joe Walsh before we get into the stink of Infowars, shall we?
Sorry Dude, we love the Eagles here. Spin that shit again! And it lands on . Oh Infowars! Infowars - that site you go to if you want to know the odds of an event in the news being the result of your guns being taken away. For most of us, we know the odds are zero, but Infowars fans think everything will result in your guns being taken away. Ugh, I dont want to comment on Infowars or anything having to do with Alex Jones. But they keep me coming back for more. Its so easy to make fun of right wing conspiracy theorists because they keep bringing the batshit crazy. I mean remember a few months ago when Beyonce showed up and eclipsed Coldplays halftime performance at the Super Bowl? Well if you saw Infowars last week you would have thought otherwise!
http://mediamatters.org/video/2016/04/25/trump-ally-alex-jones-claims-cia-funds-beyonce-cause-mayhem/210071
ALEX JONES: This is (Beyonce's) latest video, blowing stuff up, beating everything up, smashing vehicles, and its all about men. First its hate the cops in the last video, now its the ultimate feminist video being hailed. She just hates men and runs around with a crazed look on her face attacking everything.
Again, this is admitted high-level -- it turns out basically everything they put on the Super Bowl or out on Viacom is run by CIA propaganda because thats their domestic job. Beyonce invokes urban terrorism in new video, and this is just to get people to act like total morons so that they can then be basically arrested, set-up, put in jail. I mean, this is -- I mean look at the look on her face in the whole anti-police deal. This is how she ran around like, you with the cops, theyre the enemy, and that itll fix everything. And then shes funded by the very government and the very platform, the very establishment system puts her out there.
When you see Beyonce doing all this and making the way to stand up, burn down your neighborhood, or attack your police. The police, then, are being federalized and geared up for whats about to happen. And so its just a way to again play us all off against each other.
Again, this is admitted high-level -- it turns out basically everything they put on the Super Bowl or out on Viacom is run by CIA propaganda because thats their domestic job. Beyonce invokes urban terrorism in new video, and this is just to get people to act like total morons so that they can then be basically arrested, set-up, put in jail. I mean, this is -- I mean look at the look on her face in the whole anti-police deal. This is how she ran around like, you with the cops, theyre the enemy, and that itll fix everything. And then shes funded by the very government and the very platform, the very establishment system puts her out there.
When you see Beyonce doing all this and making the way to stand up, burn down your neighborhood, or attack your police. The police, then, are being federalized and geared up for whats about to happen. And so its just a way to again play us all off against each other.
What is Alex Jones smoking? And does he even know what the CIA does? Or is he just talking out of his ass? I mean seriously Alex Jones is about as deranged as they come. Hes Bill OReillys racist uncle. Who wants to go to jail? If you want to see people getting arrested for doing stupid shit, take a look at this story from Fort Bend, Indiana where a student was arrested for paying for lunch with a US legal tender $2 bill. I have one of those in my wallet right now! And then take a look at this statement from the White House where they said that our over populated prisons are more costly than helpful. And Alex Jones thinks people are getting arrested on purpose because it's a CIA plot purposefully incited by their media puppet Beyonce? What the fuck? And Beyonce is inciting riots? Show me exactly one riot that has been undertaken as a result of Beyonces Super Bowl appearance. I mean seriously. It cant be done, can it?
And in case you were wondering, the guest Alex Jones had on was just about as batshit crazy as he is:
Yesterday, conspiracy theorist broadcaster Alex Jones claimed that Beyoncé's new album, "Lemonade," was part of an attempt by the CIA to promote violence and attacks on the police, which would in turn allow the federal government to take control over local police forces. He expounded on this theory in an interview yesterday with far-right pastor James David Manning, urging parents to make sure that their kids arent exposed to Beyoncé because she intends to eat their brains. Im pro-human so I say, black people, especially, stop killing your kids and get them in church, whatever, take them away from Beyoncé, who wants to eat their brain with the CIA, literally, Jones said, adding: Obama literally is the killer of black people and they love him. Manning, who said he gave Jones statements three-and-a-half Boom Shakalakas, said Beyoncé is going to inspire children all across every spectrum to act in a violent way while, at the same time, literal demons are promoting homosexuality in our schools and in our institutions. Jones said that he even saw with his own eyes literal, devil-worshiping communists demonstrating in favor of abortion rights turn into satanic lizards: The black people have a green tone, the white people have a green tone, they are turning into lizards or something.
- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/alex-jones-beyonc-wants-eat-childrens-brains#sthash.8BDUIaIP.dpuf
- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/alex-jones-beyonc-wants-eat-childrens-brains#sthash.8BDUIaIP.dpuf
Holy crap, this guy contradicted himself in the same sentence! Hes pro human but says that Beyonce will eat your brains. Is he on the Walking Dead?
You know what? I actually did go buy Beyonces latest album Lemonade in spite of Alex Jones and his batshit crazy Infowars followers. And here's an actual screen shot from my personal iTunes library just to prove it! In addition to loving the metal, I also love the hip hop, the jazz, the funk and just about everything in between.
And you know what? Its really fucking good! Suck it, Alex Jones! In fact I think every time you buy a Beyonce album, the heads of Infowars subscribers do this:
[font size="8"]Glenn Beck [/font]
Spin that shit! And it lands on come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! Supermassive Black Hole! Hit it!
Damn, love me some Muse!
http://gizmodo.com/a-dozen-black-holes-are-mysteriously-spewing-energy-in-1772855254
Something strange is going on in a distant corner of our universe. About a dozen supermassive black holes are all shooting enormous jets of energy in roughly the same direction. It could be a cosmic coincidencebut some astronomers suspect there are larger forces at play.
Supermassive black holes, which are found at the center of nearly all galaxies, periodically erupt, hurling streams of energized plasma into intergalactic space. For instance our galaxys own supermassive black hole, Sagittarius A*, will sometimes swallow a star and belch x-ray energy all over the Milky Way. These eruptions are fascinating to astronomers, but they are typically thought to be independent events.
Something strange is going on in a distant corner of our universe. About a dozen supermassive black holes are all shooting enormous jets of energy in roughly the same direction. It could be a cosmic coincidencebut some astronomers suspect there are larger forces at play.
Supermassive black holes, which are found at the center of nearly all galaxies, periodically erupt, hurling streams of energized plasma into intergalactic space. For instance our galaxys own supermassive black hole, Sagittarius A*, will sometimes swallow a star and belch x-ray energy all over the Milky Way. These eruptions are fascinating to astronomers, but they are typically thought to be independent events.
So a dozen black holes all mysteriously blowing energy in the same direction? Either the 9 realms from the Thor movies are converging, or that could also be describing this years GOP debates.
Spin it again! End times worship. Someone who is anti science though is Glenn Beck. So everyones favorite batshit crazy chalkboard writing, end times worshipping conspiracy theorist Glenn Beck simply wont go away. Although this week, you know they say that a broken clock is right twice a day. So whats Glenn Becks scientific reasoning for why the elections seem like an eternity from the time they first start until the last ballot is cast on November 5th?
Glenn Beck Explains Why God Is Dragging Out The GOP Primary All The Way To The Convention
By: Kyle Mantyla, Monday 04/25/2016
On his radio program today, Glenn Beck suggested that the Republican presidential primary race is going to be dragged out all the way until the national convention because God wants to allow everyone to have their say before He removes his hand of protection from his nation (presumably for failing to nominate or elect Ted Cruz as president.)
As he explained, God is "making sure all of us are accountable" for what happens to this nation, saying that while presidential primary contests are usually settled relatively early on, things are different this year because God knows that the fate of the nation is at stake.
In America today, just as in the Old Testament, Beck said, "the people cry out for a king and God and the prophets stand up and say, 'Don't do it, don't do it.' And the people cry out for a king and God and some people stand up and say, 'Don't do it, don't do it.' But those people who are standing up are always in the vast minority; 'Don't do it, you don't want a king.' And then, usually, the third time they cry out for a king and God's like, 'Whatever. You got a king.' He doesn't stop your free choice; you have free choice. Because we have a covenant with God that started with George Washington, because we have a covenant, I think before He withdraws His protection, He just wants you to be clear and He doesn't want New York to decide for you, He doesn't want New Hampshire to decide for you, Florida, Iowa."
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/glenn-beck-explains-why-god-dragging-out-gop-primary-all-way-convention
By: Kyle Mantyla, Monday 04/25/2016
On his radio program today, Glenn Beck suggested that the Republican presidential primary race is going to be dragged out all the way until the national convention because God wants to allow everyone to have their say before He removes his hand of protection from his nation (presumably for failing to nominate or elect Ted Cruz as president.)
As he explained, God is "making sure all of us are accountable" for what happens to this nation, saying that while presidential primary contests are usually settled relatively early on, things are different this year because God knows that the fate of the nation is at stake.
In America today, just as in the Old Testament, Beck said, "the people cry out for a king and God and the prophets stand up and say, 'Don't do it, don't do it.' And the people cry out for a king and God and some people stand up and say, 'Don't do it, don't do it.' But those people who are standing up are always in the vast minority; 'Don't do it, you don't want a king.' And then, usually, the third time they cry out for a king and God's like, 'Whatever. You got a king.' He doesn't stop your free choice; you have free choice. Because we have a covenant with God that started with George Washington, because we have a covenant, I think before He withdraws His protection, He just wants you to be clear and He doesn't want New York to decide for you, He doesn't want New Hampshire to decide for you, Florida, Iowa."
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/glenn-beck-explains-why-god-dragging-out-gop-primary-all-way-convention
God wants to hold everybody accountable? Do you live in the same country that I do? Nobody is held accountable for anything! Rick Snyder poisons the water in Michigan. Hes not held accountable! Dennis Hastert rapes kids, he's not held accountable. Robert Bentley screws over the entire state of Alabama. He's trying to not hold himself accountable! I mean last week it finally took forever for the NFL to hold Tom Brady accountable for artificially inflating his balls!
[font size="8"]LIGHTNING ROUND [/font]
Spin city!!! Where does it land? Oh . Oh can it be??? YES!!! Its the Lightning Round!!!
So how is this going to work you may ask? Well I answer you good sir/madam: there was so much idiocy last week that its virtually impossible to contain it all. So we are going to do something different for this entry. Rather than post the whole story Im just going to give you the headline and then you can jump to your own conclusion. And we are going to bring out the wheels smaller brother which has just a mere 10 items on it, so I can rapid fire as much of these as possible. The 10 items are: Donald Trump, sex scandals, fundraising, Whambulence, random penises (oddly specific), conspiracy theories, greed, religion, voter fraud, election stealing. There might be a video or a comment or two. So lets put 3 minutes on the clock!
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRXN_817mHLNHx-3RG5BLC536lt9hvrX52dDTFiu8AuNK4uEI7cPg
Spin it! Donald Trump. Donald Trump fails to impress foreign policy experts..
http://www.politico.com/story/2016/04/donald-trump-foreign-policy-speech-reaction-222544
Spin it! Sex scandals! Dennis Hastert sentenced to 15 months for crimes related to sex abuse.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/04/27/politics/dennis-hastert-sentencing/
And despite that he is an actual sexual predator, he can use the bathroom in North Carolina. Hey O!
Spin it! Donald Trump. Again. This time he once again sets womens rights back:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trumps-womans-card-comment-escalates-gender-wars-of-2016-campaign/2016/04/27/fbe4c67a-0c2b-11e6-8ab8-9ad050f76d7d_story.html
Spin it! Fundraising! A John McCain fundraiser got busted for running a meth lab in Arizona. I mean come on, its Arizona! Californias Florida!
http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/phoenix-breaking/2016/04/27/mccain-fundraiser-arrested-meth-lab-bust-phoenix/83575352/
How much time do we have? 2:15? Spin! Whambulence! So Pat McCrory blames the backlash for HB-2 on a dem wanting to take his job!:
http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/davidbadash/gov_mccrory_blames_liberals_for_orwellian_orchestration_of_hb2_so_a_democrat_could_take_his_job
Spin! Conspiracy theories! So Chuck Norris whines about the terrible dangers of chemtrails:
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/chuck-norris-gets-behind-chemtrails-conspiracy-theory
Or are chemtrails afraid of the dangers of Chuck Norris?
Spin! Sex scandals again! So you know who Dennis Hastert has on his side? Former House speaker and current convicted criminal Tom DeLay! You can always tell a guy by the company they keep!
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/04/25/invoking-god-prominent-gopers-write-letters-for-dennis-hastert-sexual-abuser-of-four-boys/?utm_source=SilverpopMailing&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=friendlyatheist_042516UTC050409_daily&utm_content=&spMailingID=51230789&spUserID=MTE4MTY1MzAzMTE5S0&spJobID=903185020&spReportId=OTAzMTg1MDIwS0
Spin city! Religion! Robert Bentley invokes God and tries to pull a Jedi mind trick:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/alabama-gov-impeachment-threat-illegal-38768002
Spin it to win it! Oh... religion again! Man lots of religion! A pastor says he got photographic proof of heaven and was charging $340 for a glimpse at the photos, but then lost it:
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/04/pastor-says-he-took-pictures-of-heaven-but-lost-them-when-his-phone-was-stolen/
How much time is left? 1:22. Whats next? Spin! Greed! Nestle is once again trying to steal water and charge obscene profit!
http://thefreethoughtproject.com/nestle/
Spin it! Religion! Roy Moore once again loses his collective shit over the lawsuits from his recent decision on gay marriage in Alabama:
http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/davidbadash/roy_moore
Spin! Religion again! So someone built a life size replica of Noahs Ark and its coming to San Diego? To pick up the animals at the San Diego Zoo?
http://sdgln.com/news/2016/04/27/life-size-replica-noahs-ark-will-come-san-diego
Spin! And another one for religion! Do I get a trifecta? So the city of Oahu, Hawaii is requesting $250K for a evangelical megachurch:
http://www.civilbeat.com/2016/04/councilmembers-seek-250k-for-church/
45 seconds left! Spin! Voter fraud! Jim DeMint finally admits what were all thinking about voter ID laws!
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/jim-demint-voter-id-helps-elect-more-conservative-candidates#sthash.rlvGoTR7.dpuf
30 seconds left! Spin! Election stealing! So theres a new fact-free smear movie about Hillary Clinton that is set to debut before the DNC in July, and thanks to Citizens United thats now OK:
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2016/04/28/error-filled-book-clinton-cash-be-turned-movie-2016-election/210125
15 seconds left! Spin it! And for the last one it lands on: random penises! So what else did the Bundy Bunch leave behind at Malheur? Why if you guessed they desecrated Indian ruins by drawing penises on them, you get points!
http://wonkette.com/601019/bundy-buddies-added-dicks-to-indian-petroglyphs-not-a-dick-joke-wonkette-can-get-behind#WatvTXxJWp7hmd7O.99
Phew!! Thats how you do a lightning round! I need a beer!
[font size="8"]Ted Cruz [/font]
Spin it! And it lands on . Satan!
Long live Lemmy!
More specifically, former house speaker and current bronzer model John Boehner called Ted Cruz Satan. Or even more speficially the son of Lucifer.
When it comes to Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, even a few months time out of Congress has done little to lessen former Speaker John Boehners contempt for his former Capitol Hill colleague.
Lucifer in the flesh, Boehner told an audience at Stanford on Wednesday night, according to the Stanford Daily. I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.
Read more: http://www.politico.com/story/2016/04/john-beohner-ted-cruz-lucifer-222570#ixzz477ulMBpq
Lucifer in the flesh, Boehner told an audience at Stanford on Wednesday night, according to the Stanford Daily. I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.
Read more: http://www.politico.com/story/2016/04/john-beohner-ted-cruz-lucifer-222570#ixzz477ulMBpq
Hes Lucifer in the flesh, ladies and gentlemen!!! And by the way, why has no heavy metal band used that as an album or a song title? I mean come on guys lets get to it!
And by the way, The Satanic Temple weighed in on the subject:
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/04/28/the-satanic-temple-weighs-in-on-john-boehner-calling-ted-cruz-lucifer-in-the-flesh/
I asked The Satanic Temple to weigh in after all, they have a vested interest in this matter and spokesperson Lucien Greaves told me this:
Boehners comment is illustrative of how well past time it is to adjust our mythologies to reflect our realities. Cruzs failures of reason, compassion, decency, and humanity are products of his Christian pandering, if not an actual Christian faith. It grows tedious when pedophile priests and loathsome politicians are conveniently dismissed as Satanic, even as they spew biblical verse and prostrate themselves before the cross, recruiting the Christian faithful. Satanists will have nothing to do with any of them.
I asked The Satanic Temple to weigh in after all, they have a vested interest in this matter and spokesperson Lucien Greaves told me this:
Boehners comment is illustrative of how well past time it is to adjust our mythologies to reflect our realities. Cruzs failures of reason, compassion, decency, and humanity are products of his Christian pandering, if not an actual Christian faith. It grows tedious when pedophile priests and loathsome politicians are conveniently dismissed as Satanic, even as they spew biblical verse and prostrate themselves before the cross, recruiting the Christian faithful. Satanists will have nothing to do with any of them.
But in even stranger Ted Cruz news, we are just a mere 80 days away from the kick off of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland. 80 days! Which in political time feels like 7 and a half years.
But that didnt stop Teddy from prematurely announcing his VP pick. I mean dont we have a convention to go through? Dont you have things like delegates to get and a nomination to pick up before you announce your VP pick?
(CNN)Ted Cruz formally named Carly Fiorina as his vice presidential running mate Wednesday -- a last-ditch move to regain momentum after being mathematically eliminated from winning the GOP presidential nomination outright.
"After a great deal of consideration and prayer, I have come to the conclusion that if I am nominated to be president of the United States that I will run on a ticket with my vice presidential nominee Carly Fiorina," Cruz said during a rally in Indianapolis.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/04/27/politics/ted-cruz-carly-fiorina-vice-president/
"After a great deal of consideration and prayer, I have come to the conclusion that if I am nominated to be president of the United States that I will run on a ticket with my vice presidential nominee Carly Fiorina," Cruz said during a rally in Indianapolis.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/04/27/politics/ted-cruz-carly-fiorina-vice-president/
But Forbes is speculating that this could potentially backfire on him spectacularly:
Fiorina doesnt appeal to Kasich voters
For better or worse, Kasich has become the vessel of moderate Republican voters: the suburban, upper-income folks who prefer pragmatism to bomb-throwing. And Carly Fiorina is, at least rhetorically, a Cruz-style firebrand.
Theres also the fact that pragmatic conservatives tend to favor someone for veep who has deep experience in governing and legislating, something that Fiorina does not.
In other words, Cruz picked one of the few people in the 2016 field who will struggle to appeal to Kasich voters and unite the GOP around Ted Cruz.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/aviksaroy/2016/04/28/ted-cruzs-carly-fiorina-vp-pick-could-backfire-badly/#e6ed7747fc8c
For better or worse, Kasich has become the vessel of moderate Republican voters: the suburban, upper-income folks who prefer pragmatism to bomb-throwing. And Carly Fiorina is, at least rhetorically, a Cruz-style firebrand.
Theres also the fact that pragmatic conservatives tend to favor someone for veep who has deep experience in governing and legislating, something that Fiorina does not.
In other words, Cruz picked one of the few people in the 2016 field who will struggle to appeal to Kasich voters and unite the GOP around Ted Cruz.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/aviksaroy/2016/04/28/ted-cruzs-carly-fiorina-vp-pick-could-backfire-badly/#e6ed7747fc8c
And how did Carly Fiorina celebrate the announcement? By breaking out in a very awkward song!
[font size="8"]Keith Ablow [/font]
Spin it! And it lands on clip without context!
Because we all know God runs the voting machines. I mean he can change them at any time!
Spin it again! Fox & Friends. The most watched show by low information voters among the 18 35 demographic. Well weve discussed trans issues ad nauseum this week but then theres Keith Ablow. This guy is an entirely new level of just plain fucking evil. And he is a licensed psychiatrist. I will repeat this: he is a licensed psychiatrist!!! Why hasnt the board yanked this fundie douchebags license yet? Whats hes prescribing here is completely unethical, immoral, and inhumane .
Fox News "Medical A Team" member Dr. Keith Ablow speculated wildly about medical care for transgender children, proposing his own harmful treatments that go against scientific evidence and professional standards from mainstream medical associations.
In a rant where he compared being transgender to pretending to be 65 to get Medicare, Ablow proposed injecting transgender children with hormones corresponding to their gender assigned at birth to go with nature and make them feel more comfortable. Ablows proposed treatment is his own extreme variation of discredited ex-gay conversion therapy which falsely claims to change a persons sexual orientation or gender identity. Ablows suggestion is reminiscent of 1940s era treatments where lesbians were forced to submit to estrogen injections and men were given testosterone to cure them of being gay. These type of reparative therapy practices have been rejected for decades by all mainstream medical associations.
While Ablow has a history of attacking transgender children with extreme, inaccurate claims, experts contradict his talking points. The American Psychological Association has stated that it is "not helpful to force [a transgender child] to act in a more gender-conforming way." Family rejection of transgender youth has been linked to a series of negative health consequences.
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2016/04/25/fox-news-doctor-proposes-harmful-new-treatment-transgender-children/210068
In a rant where he compared being transgender to pretending to be 65 to get Medicare, Ablow proposed injecting transgender children with hormones corresponding to their gender assigned at birth to go with nature and make them feel more comfortable. Ablows proposed treatment is his own extreme variation of discredited ex-gay conversion therapy which falsely claims to change a persons sexual orientation or gender identity. Ablows suggestion is reminiscent of 1940s era treatments where lesbians were forced to submit to estrogen injections and men were given testosterone to cure them of being gay. These type of reparative therapy practices have been rejected for decades by all mainstream medical associations.
While Ablow has a history of attacking transgender children with extreme, inaccurate claims, experts contradict his talking points. The American Psychological Association has stated that it is "not helpful to force [a transgender child] to act in a more gender-conforming way." Family rejection of transgender youth has been linked to a series of negative health consequences.
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2016/04/25/fox-news-doctor-proposes-harmful-new-treatment-transgender-children/210068
Holy fuck!!! This is a Hitler-esque level of batshit insanity. How does the APA not revoke his medical license for this? This is just mind blowingly evil! Just I cant . what the I dont want to ah!!!!
[font size="8"]Vox Day [/font]
Lets spin the wheel one last time this week. What? Go Directly To Jail? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Wait Ive got that Get Out Of Jail Free card! Yeah!!! Suck it chance card! Spin it again! Come on VR headset daddy wants an HTC Vive!! And it lands on science fiction! I always say I save the crazy extra hard for the number 10 slot, and this is about as crazy and unbelievable as it gets, folks! You guys and gals like science fiction, dont you? I mean who doesnt love a good expansive sci fi novel with 1,000 characters and entire worlds to explore? We do live in a golden age of science fiction. I mean Hollywood is remaking the classic Japanese anime flick Ghost In The Shell starring wait for it - Scarlett Johannsen! I wish I were making this up! Scarlett Johannsen is the perfect choice for that role shes hot, can kick your ass, is fashion conscious, and was in The Avengers! But oh wait shes not Japanese. So lets talk about the Hugo Awards. Before I go into this weeks entry, I do love sci fi but I am really not that familiar with a lot of sci fi authors, but doing research for this entry, I discovered theres a lot more to the Hugo Awards the last couple of years than previously thought. And its all batshit insane. But before we delve into this thing, lets give you some background.
Since 1953, to be nominated for a Hugo Award, among the highest honors in science fiction and fantasy writing, has been a dream come true for authors who love time travel, extraterrestrials and tales of the imagined future. Past winners of the rocket-shaped trophynominated and voted on by fansinclude people like Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke, Harlan Ellison, Philip K. Dick, and Robert A. Heinlein. In other words: the Gods of the genre.
But in recent years, as sci-fi has expanded to include storytellers who are women, gays and lesbians, and people of color, the Hugos have changed, too. At the presentation each August, the Gods with the rockets in their hands have been joined by Goddesses and those of other ethnicities and genders and sexual orientations, many of whom want to tell stories about more than just spaceships.
Early this year, that shift sparked a backlash: a campaign, organized by three white, male authors, that resulted in a final Hugo ballot dominated by mostly white, mostly male nominees. While the leaders of this two-pronged movementone faction calls itself the Sad Puppies and the other the Rabid Puppiesbroke no rules, many sci-fi writers and fans felt they had played dirty, taking advantage of a loophole in an arcane voting process that enables a relatively few number of voters to dominate. Motivated by Puppygate, meanwhile, a record 11,300-plus people bought memberships to the 73rd World Science Fiction Convention in Spokane, Washington, where the Hugo winners were announced Saturday night.
http://www.wired.com/2015/08/won-science-fictions-hugo-awards-matters/
But in recent years, as sci-fi has expanded to include storytellers who are women, gays and lesbians, and people of color, the Hugos have changed, too. At the presentation each August, the Gods with the rockets in their hands have been joined by Goddesses and those of other ethnicities and genders and sexual orientations, many of whom want to tell stories about more than just spaceships.
Early this year, that shift sparked a backlash: a campaign, organized by three white, male authors, that resulted in a final Hugo ballot dominated by mostly white, mostly male nominees. While the leaders of this two-pronged movementone faction calls itself the Sad Puppies and the other the Rabid Puppiesbroke no rules, many sci-fi writers and fans felt they had played dirty, taking advantage of a loophole in an arcane voting process that enables a relatively few number of voters to dominate. Motivated by Puppygate, meanwhile, a record 11,300-plus people bought memberships to the 73rd World Science Fiction Convention in Spokane, Washington, where the Hugo winners were announced Saturday night.
http://www.wired.com/2015/08/won-science-fictions-hugo-awards-matters/
Lets stop there for a minute. So in the last 5 or 6 years the Hugo Awards have embraced diversity and expanded their author base to authors of other races, genders and sexual orientations. In other words, theyre becoming more inclusive. But not in the eyes of Vox Day and his white supremacist followers and trolls. They think of diversity the same way that Ron Burgundy does.
But what is Puppygate? Well lets find out what that is.
Two authors have withdrawn their work from contention for the prestigious Hugo science fiction awards in the wake of what George RR Martin has called Puppygate, the controversy that has plunged all fandom into war.
Marko Kloos, whose novel Lines of Departure had been picked along with four other authors for the best novel Hugo an award that counts Dune and Neuromancer among its former winners announced on Wednesday that he had withdrawn his acceptance of the nomination. Annie Bellet, whose Goodnight Stars was a contender for best short story, also withdrew from the race.
Both writers had been included on a slate of titles pulled together by a group of right-leaning science fiction writers dubbing themselves the Sad Puppies, who had mobilized fans to pay for membership of Worldcon, enabling them to vote and thus flood the categories with their choices. Brad Torgersen, the author behind Sad Puppies, wanted to reverse what he called the Hugos favouring of works that were niche, academic, overtly to the left in ideology and flavour, and ultimately lacking what might best be called visceral, gut-level, swashbuckling fun.
http://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/apr/17/hugo-award-nominees-withdraw-amid-puppygate-storm
Marko Kloos, whose novel Lines of Departure had been picked along with four other authors for the best novel Hugo an award that counts Dune and Neuromancer among its former winners announced on Wednesday that he had withdrawn his acceptance of the nomination. Annie Bellet, whose Goodnight Stars was a contender for best short story, also withdrew from the race.
Both writers had been included on a slate of titles pulled together by a group of right-leaning science fiction writers dubbing themselves the Sad Puppies, who had mobilized fans to pay for membership of Worldcon, enabling them to vote and thus flood the categories with their choices. Brad Torgersen, the author behind Sad Puppies, wanted to reverse what he called the Hugos favouring of works that were niche, academic, overtly to the left in ideology and flavour, and ultimately lacking what might best be called visceral, gut-level, swashbuckling fun.
http://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/apr/17/hugo-award-nominees-withdraw-amid-puppygate-storm
So the phrase Puppygate was coined by A Song Of Ice And Fire author George R.R. Martin, and that was because it was the result of a concentrated effort by conservatives to get more conservative authors to the top of the Hugo Awards. This is literally a science fiction novel that has come to life. You really do have two warring factions fighting with each other! So now coming back to this years awards, what does what happened last year have to do with this years nominations? Well
The result was that not a single Puppy-slate winner won a Hugo. In the categories where there were only Puppy candidates, the award went to No Award. Even before the awards, a few candidates who had appeared on the Rabid Puppy slate without their knowledge or consent chose to decline their nominations. Marko Kloos explained to his publisher that he had to do this, because This is the kind of stink that doesnt wash off. Nothing sums up last years awards better than the announcement of No Award winning multiple categories being met by thunderous applause.
But for this years nominations, some things have shifted. The Sad Puppies opened up their version of a slate into a recommendations page, and then ranked things by the number of recommendations they had received. Meanwhile, Rabid Pupppies leader Theodore Vox Day Beale released another set of slates for each category.
http://io9.gizmodo.com/last-years-hugo-award-drama-is-not-going-away-any-time-1773184986
But for this years nominations, some things have shifted. The Sad Puppies opened up their version of a slate into a recommendations page, and then ranked things by the number of recommendations they had received. Meanwhile, Rabid Pupppies leader Theodore Vox Day Beale released another set of slates for each category.
http://io9.gizmodo.com/last-years-hugo-award-drama-is-not-going-away-any-time-1773184986
Thats right! Not a single author nominated by the Rabid Puppies faction of Hugo Awards members got an award!
But lets go back to the Wired piece for a minute. Its very long but well worth reading and includes a very diverse and very insane group of cast members. So George R.R. Martin himself thinks that the Hugo Awards should not be a popularity contest:
Martin, the son of a longshoreman, rejects the idea that anyone has been excluded from the Hugos for not being either highbrow or politically correct enough. But just being popular shouldnt be enough to win, he told me on the second day of Sasquan. The reward for popularity is popularity! Its truckloads of money! Do you need the trophy, too? he said as we sat in his hotel room overlooking the convention center and the Spokane River. Cant the trophy go to the guy who sells 5,000 copies but is doing something innovative?
So on one hand you have people who think this is a popularity contest, then the guy who is arguably one of the most popular science fiction writers since Phillip K. Dick saying that this should not be a popularity contest. So which is it? Well heres also where the trolls trolled the Hugo Awards hard. Lets take a look at the Short Story and Related Work categories.
BEST SHORT STORY (2451 ballots)
Asymmetrical Warfare by S. R. Algernon (Nature, Mar 2015)
The Commuter by Thomas A. Mays (Stealth)
If You Were an Award, My Love by Juan Tabo and S. Harris (voxday.blogspot.com, Jun 2015)
Seven Kill Tiger by Charles Shao (There Will Be War Volume X, Castalia House)
Space Raptor Butt Invasion by Chuck Tingle (Amazon Digital Services)
BEST RELATED WORK (2080 ballots)
Between Light and Shadow: An Exploration of the Fiction of Gene Wolfe, 1951 to 1986 by Marc Aramini (Castalia House)
The First Draft of My Appendix N Book by Jeffro Johnson (castaliahouse.com)
Safe Space as Rape Room by Daniel Eness (castaliahouse.com)
SJWs Always Lie: Taking Down the Thought Police by Vox Day (Castalia House)
The Story of Moira Greyland by Moira Greyland (askthebigot.com)
http://io9.gizmodo.com/here-are-the-2016-hugo-award-finalists-1773157497
Asymmetrical Warfare by S. R. Algernon (Nature, Mar 2015)
The Commuter by Thomas A. Mays (Stealth)
If You Were an Award, My Love by Juan Tabo and S. Harris (voxday.blogspot.com, Jun 2015)
Seven Kill Tiger by Charles Shao (There Will Be War Volume X, Castalia House)
Space Raptor Butt Invasion by Chuck Tingle (Amazon Digital Services)
BEST RELATED WORK (2080 ballots)
Between Light and Shadow: An Exploration of the Fiction of Gene Wolfe, 1951 to 1986 by Marc Aramini (Castalia House)
The First Draft of My Appendix N Book by Jeffro Johnson (castaliahouse.com)
Safe Space as Rape Room by Daniel Eness (castaliahouse.com)
SJWs Always Lie: Taking Down the Thought Police by Vox Day (Castalia House)
The Story of Moira Greyland by Moira Greyland (askthebigot.com)
http://io9.gizmodo.com/here-are-the-2016-hugo-award-finalists-1773157497
Thats right you have such quality works on the bill as Space Raptor Butt Invasion (was the author playing Sci Fi Cards Against Humanity with that one? :chuckle), and you have Safe Space as Rape Room, and SJWs Always Lie: Taking Down The Thought Police. In going down the wormhole on this subject, heres where things get scary. I found this review of SJWs Always Lie. Which includes this excerpt from the book:
Trolling is what SJWs call it when you respond to them in their own rhetorical language. The perfect Queen of the SJWsand she would be a queen, never a kingwould be a mixed-race lesbian Swedish immigrant who was abused as a child by a conservative Republican white politician and kept as a sex-slave by neo-Nazis with Confederate-flag tattoos prior to writing a bestselling novel about a fictionalized version of her terrible experiences, appearing on Oprah, and starring in a science-fiction TV show popular with white nerds. No one but an SJW has ever used more than one of the following words in a sentence: problematic, offensive, inclusive, triggered, trigger warning, privilege, platforming, silencing, equitable,welcoming, safe space, code of conduct, cisgender, diversity, vibrant. No one but an SJW makes quasi-religious fetishes of Equality, Diversity, Tolerance, and Progress.
http://www.amren.com/features/2015/09/a-field-guide-to-sjws/
http://www.amren.com/features/2015/09/a-field-guide-to-sjws/
Holy shit! I hope he didnt open with that!
And the buzz words! Look at all the buzz words! So many buzz words! Its funny that Vox Day accuses others of being SJWs (social justice warriors) when hes one for his own causes. Pot calling the kettle black? And the reviewer called this delightful! And its a contender for a Hugo Award! This was allowed to happen! But heres where I am going to let you have some fun with this. If Vox Day and his brand of far right SJWs can troll his hateful bullshit, and other quality titles like Space Raptor Butt Invasion to the top of the Hugo Awards, we can troll them cant we? I mean come on what kind of world do we live in where we can't fight back against the trolls? Let's turn the tables! And heres where I am going to put the new DU Top 10 Twitter feed to use. Follow us at @DU_InitechTop10. Send us your best childish science fiction title, and the more childish the better, and hashtag it #HugosSoTrolled. The best ones will get posted next week!
See you next week!
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Top 10 Conservative Idiots #25: Wheel O’Corruption 3: Dark Of The Moon Edition (Original Post)
Initech
May 2016
OP
SwankyXomb
(2,030 posts)1. If there was such a thing as the Queen of the SJWs,
I found her theme song:
Initech
(100,079 posts)2. OK that's going on the Twitter feed!
Come on people let's troll the trolls!
dembotoz
(16,806 posts)3. k and r
flying rabbit
(4,634 posts)4. Excellent job.
Initech
(100,079 posts)5. K for Monday!
Come on people let's fight back against the trolls!