ROFL: An Adult Film Company Just Offered To Make Ted Cruz’s Bizarre Dreams Come True (Letter)

[polly7]

A video that recently surfaced of a young Ted Cruz has raised some eyebrows. The creepy little Cruz, aside from declaring his aspirations to be rich, powerful and to take over the world, also expressed an interest in making a “teen tit film,” because he’s the perfect Christian. Yes, your sarcasm alarm went off for a reason.

Well now Ted Cruz has been given the opportunity to make his dream come true, thanks to adult film giant, Vivid Entertainment. Big shot at Vivid, Steve Hirsch, has extended an offer for Cruz to star in his very own XXX movie that would most certainly be quite a tad more risqué than an 80’s “tit film.” Hirsh offered to send $1 million to the super PAC of Cruz’s choice in exchange for his services.

This letter to Senator Cruz, obtained by TMZ, lays out the offer, along with a suggested headline for the film, which is nothing short of brilliant and hilarious:

?w=538

Would “Cruzin For Bush” be a big hit? It just might be. There must be people out there willing to pay good money to see the world’s most punchable face in action. The real question is, what would he do with his lapel flag?

Kudos to Steve Hirsch for pulling off the troll of the week!

http://www.addictinginfo.org/2016/02/06/rofl-an-adult-film-company-just-offered-to-make-ted-cruzs-bizarre-dreams-come-true-letter/

[jmowreader]

1. I'm gonna have to disagree with part of your post

How could you make a movie starring "the world's most punchable face in action" and not put Martin Shkreli in it?

[polly7]

2. Maybe he could be his double.

Beyond that ........ I don't even wanna think about it.

[rug]

3. They'll never find anyone willing to make it with him.

If I wanted to watch him jerk off in front of a camera I just have to watch the debate. And there's a bunch of assholes thrown in for free.

[Octafish]

4. Sounds like another GOP paedophile.

"I'd like to make a teen tit film."



There's a pretty big market, going from the arrests and cover-ups.

[polly7]

5. I just realized how much his expressions and demeanor remind me of the

man one of my good friends married a few years after her first husband died in an accident. I'd grown up with him, we were in the same classes from start to finish. A brilliant person - but always something that seemed strange about him to me - and I got along with everyone - he was just always a bit .... weird, but nobody excluded him or anything. 6 months ago he was arrested for having hidden cameras in the ladies washroom in his electronics store.

Thanks for that link, very interesting.

[EL34x4]

6. Seriously, Ted Cruz looks like...

...half the men on "To Catch a Predator" who show up with a 6-pack of beer and a bag full of dildos and then try to claim "I'm just here to warn her!" when the camera crew arrives.

I have no doubt that when Vivid Video offered the opportunity to work with any actress he'd like, Senator Cruz would be able to list names.

[polly7]

7. He's such a bigoted, skeevy creep ..

fair game for their offer. Maybe it will end up bringing out a little sump'n sump'n - you never know.

[beac]

8. I'm sure "God has forgiven me" for that

little indiscretion. Nothing to see here.... move along....

Still, good on Vivid for their epic troll of Carnival Cruz.