Shkreli Miraculously Makes Nation Side with Congress—Borowitz was there

[Mira]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a feat that some observers called nothing short of miraculous, the embattled pharmaceuticals C.E.O. Martin Shkreli single-handedly made the American people side with Congress on Thursday morning.

According to polls taken after his appearance before the despised legislative body, Shkreli’s smug, smirking, and utterly douchey performance had the effect of temporarily transforming members of Congress into marginally sympathetic figures.

The University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, which tracks the American people’s attitudes toward the legislative branch, said that after Shkreli’s appearance Congress’s approval rating surged from eleven per cent to fourteen per cent.
“A three-per-cent gain may not seem like a lot, but I think everyone in Congress is popping champagne corks today,” Davis Logsdon, the pollster who supervised the survey, said. “Martin Shkreli is the best thing to happen to Congress in years.”

Shortly after the hearing concluded, a congressional spokesman announced that Congress plans to hold an additional twenty to thirty hearings with Shkreli in the immediate future.



www.borowitzreport.com

[NV Whino]

1. He's such a slimy little bastard

I just want to slap him upside the head, and wipe that smirk off his face.

[Octafish]

2. Guy Tweeted Congresspeople are ''Imbeciles'' afterward.

The smirk reminds me of some crazy war monkey from the dim past.

[Mira]

3. "Backpfeifengesicht"

That is what he has, and the above is the German word for it
translation:
"a face that looks like it is in bad need of a slap"

[jmowreader]

6. There are better German words than that

Schwanzsauger (cocksucker) comes to mind, as do Arschloch (asshole), Scheisskopf (shithead), Arschkrebs (ass cancer) and Schweinhund.

Backpfeifengesicht is a fun word, but not that many people in Germany use it.

[Mira]

7. Well --- any of yours ---

though I know them and understand them --- are in my own personal vocabulary.
Backpfeifengesicht is humorous and used by those that want to express disapproval without being crass.

[Solly Mack]

12. :)

[smirkymonkey]

8. I always understood it to mean "A face badly in need of a fist".

Either way, I think he needs a serious beating from anyone who has ever been screwed over by the pharmaceutical industry. If he doesn't survive it, oh well.

[napkinz]

4. Shkreli & Trump

[Mira]

5. Oh that is RICH ----they are both detestable. n/t

[MisterP]

9. from MST3K

[cali]

10. Thanks to wonderful Andy for an early morning laugh

[Flying Squirrel]

11. Hmmmm