CDC: No zombie apocalypse, move along, nothing to see here...

[Initech]

A man in Miami chews the face off another man, allegedly while under some kind of drug-induced psychosis.

Another man in New Jersey goes insane and slices his belly open, then throws his own intestines at police.

Yet another man in Maryland admits to eating his roommate’s heart and brain.

A Canadian snuff film actor admits to murdering, dismembering, raping and eating a young victim, mails body parts to a newspaper, then goes on the run.

Finally, doctors take it upon themselves to calm a panicked public as the media hyperventilates over a Georgia woman whose leg had to be amputated to stop the spread of flesh-eating bacteria, now known to infect thousands of Americans every year.

As if this bloody chaos weren’t bizarre enough, it gets weirder still: All of these events happened in the same week.

Naturally, the Internet wants to know: is it — being, you know, The Zombie Apocalypse — finally happening? According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), the answer to that question is officially no.

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/06/01/cdc-denies-rumors-of-zombie-apocalypse/

Still should we be worried????

[kestrel91316]

1. They forgot to mention the woman who killed her 3 wk old infant

and dismembered it, decapitated it, and ate its brain - in the news today.

CDC just doesn't want us to know the bitter truth.

[krispos42]

2. *sigh* and Connecticut has a 14-day waiting period on guns

How am I suppose to arm myself for Zombpacolypse?


Well, at least I'll have plenty of electricity!

[kenny blankenship]

3. It's just a fad

It will be the hot trendy thing kids are into now, right up until people see their parents doing it. The day you see your parents gnawing on the brains and gizzard of some unsuspecting neighbor they just killed, the fad will be over. Unless of course your parents were already dead, in which case zombyism will become a fixture like death (oops.. strike that) or taxes (strike this too, if you're rich) like the Permawar and warrantless surveillance of law abiding citizens.

[WriteWrong]

4. Nothing to look at, just the pharma industry testing a new drug...

It's a cure for anorexia in prison.