Blast from the past
i just installed some ancient amiga software on winuae
it came with a 'liberal-taglines'
bear in mind these are old (90's or so)
still fun to see these one liners
posted as written by author of software (q-blue)
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; On Republicans:
; ===============
I think, therefore I am... not a Republican.
Warning: thinking to excess may cause failure to vote Republican.
Conservative: one who'd rather have 8% unemployment than 8% inflation.
Alan Greenspan: Full employment causes inflation. We can't have that!
MS-DOS: the operating system for Republicans.
"...for the Gingrich's heart was two sizes too small."
I want to be Neal Bush and rob banks legally.
Conservatives: bravely willing to lay down your life for their country.
Conservatism: Civil rights, women's rights, gay rights -- all wrong!
Republicanism: Suffering is good for you, you need more of it!
Conservative: one who admires the liberals of previous centuries.
Conservative faith: Any problem can be solved with enough punishment.
Conservative logic: Facing the problem = condoning immorality.
Some people actually believe that the answer is to pretend it's 1923.
MS-DOS: the Ronald Reagan of operating systems.
Mickey Mouse wears a Ronald Reagan watch.
Oxymoron: Reagan memoirs.
Bestiality: a perverted sex act between a human and a Republican.
No Newts is good news.
His leg had to be amputated. It had Gingrich.
Republicans always know who else to blame for taking no responsibility.
Feeling mean? Vote Republican.
Conservatives forget that they're defending values invented by liberals.
Newt Gingrich's alternative to welfare: Mary Kay & Amway!
Clinton may fib sometimes, but at least he can tell the difference.
Wall street loves layoffs.
; On liberals, Libertarians, and liberty:
; =======================================
Our conservatives support freedom... for money, not people.
Mr. Patriot, are you too busy defending freedom to BE free?
Libertarian: a Republican who wants cheaper drugs.
"An avidity to punish is always dangerous to liberty." -- Tom Paine
Radical meanies, reactionary meanies... Thank God for liberals.
The Libertarian Party: legalize slavery for the sake of freedom.
Republicans and Communists both hate liberals, the way Puritans hate sex.
Conservatives preach liberty, liberals practice it.
Why does anything with too many facts get called liberal propaganda?
"In every country & age, the priest is hostile to liberty." -- Jefferson
In any given century, the liberals generally win in the end.
; On the Religious Right:
; =======================
You folks telling me that intolerance is a Traditional Family Value?
"Fund" = give money; "amentalism" = mindlessness
If God is omnipotent, why does he need my money?
AIDS is a virus. Jesse Helms is a punishment from God.
Annoy a Christian: ask him how many gods he believes in.
Imagine Jesus standing before you.... are you picturing a white man?
Marriage by a TV evangelist is actually legal in most states.
Sects, sects, sects. Is that all you protestants ever think about?
"A good Christian does not think, a Good Christian obeys." -- B. Graham
I don't care if it rains or freezes / Long as I got my plastic Jesus
I believe in Traditional Values. The Earth is flat!
The Earth is flat / pi equals three / the Bible says it / so it must be
The most insidious threat to Traditional Values: education.
; Rush Limbaugh:
; ==============
" " " " " " " " " " " <-- Rush Limbaugh's listeners
Silence cannot be misquoted. Except by Rush Limbaugh, that is...
According to Descartes, Rush Limbaugh doesn't exist.
Will Rogers never met Rush Limbaugh.
Rush Limbaugh: Opiate of the asses.
Rush Limbaugh: America's designated Hitler.
Somebody please tell Limbaugh that America is not a Christian country.
Rush Limbaugh: 500 pounds of shit in a 250 pound windbag.
The Hindenburg and Rush Limbaugh: a flaming Nazi gasbag, and a dirigible.
If Rush Limbaugh is so smart, why isn't he Newt Gingrich?
Ever wonder why Hooked On Phonics advertises so much on Rush Limbaugh?
; Quotable quotes:
; ================
"Poor dear, there's nothing between his ears." -- Thatcher on Reagan
"A bad actor. He's inflated, he's egotistical." -- John Huston on Reagan
"That incoherent cretin..." -- Andrew Faulds, MP, on Ronald Reagan
"An amiable dunce." -- defense secretary Clark Clifford on Ronald Reagan
"Sort of a Boy Scout with a hormone imbalance." -- K. Phillips on G. Bush
"A do-nothing lackluster wherever he sat." -- A. Haig on George Bush
"John Birch Society nut... dumb and dangerous." -- Sinatra on Reagan
"The pits as far as blacks are concerned." -- Desmond Tutu on Reagan
"A cross between Rambo and Mary Poppins." -- Peter Fenn on George Bush
"A toothache of a man." -- Jim Hightower on George Bush
"Born with a silver foot in his mouth." -- Ann Richards on George Bush
"The perfect yes-man." -- Larry Speakes on George Bush
Molly Ivins on Camille Paglia: "Sheesh, what an asshole."
; One for you pinkos out there:
; =============================
So how much does this "free" market really cost?
; And a few for you pree-verts:
; =============================
I don't mind straight people, as long as they act gay in public.
If God didn't make homosexuals, there wouldn't be any.
Homosexuality isn't taught, hate and prejudice are.
If you don't like homosexuals, don't sleep with them.
More comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?
Lifetime heterosexual monogamy IS an alternative lifestyle.
; Zen teachings of Cheri Huber, and related ideas:
; ================================================
Nature has no rewards or punishments, only consequences.
We indulge ourselves to make up for punishing ourselves.
Being unhappy is okay. But being unhappy and hating it is hell.
We are taught that we are bad and punishment can make us good. Wrong!
We see others as victimizing us... so we keep victimizing others.
Take the greatest risk: let yourself be the way you really are.
Any voice that says there is something wrong with you, is not God.
Nobody needs to learn compassion, only to unlearn avoiding it.
Religion: God loves you if you obey. Spirituality: God loves you.
; Miscellaneous bits of liberalism:
; =================================
Is your church BATF approved?
Estados-UniDOS: Revolution detected. (E)mbargo (M)ercenaries (I)nvade
Man made booze, God made grass -- who do YOU trust?
Free Country [ ] Drug Free Country [ ] Choose One.
The new Vietnam: Somalia? Bosnia? Rwanda? No, the War on Drugs.
Cogito ergo liberal.
False Memory Syndrome? Suddenly pedophiles are psychology experts?
Feminism is simply the radical notion that women are people.
"Self-esteem is the basis of any real democracy." -- Steinem
"Conciousness of injustice is a step toward self-esteem." -- Steinem
A zoo animal, released, afraid to leave its cage. That is conservatism.
How come animal shelter workers are paid more than childcare workers?
The ultimate political weapon is to tell the truth.
The only time it is OK to beat your kids is at checkers.
Justice: forbidding rich and poor equally from sleeping under bridges.
If you're charged with thievery, you didn't steal enough.
The least trustworthy science: any that justifies existing social order.
To release spontaneous creativity, you must access your Inner Liberal.
An armed society is an uptight society.
One planet is all you get.
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