Abortion

[cilla4progress]

I was 34 years old, married 9 years. Just graduated with a degree that was going to open up a career path in my rural community. After years of relying on birth control - condoms! - my husband and I had a slip-up. I thought I was "safe," but was not. (Believe it or not, the only time I became pregnant using condoms. I couldn't tolerate messing with my hormones with the pill, and had difficulty using IUDs, diaphragms.)

When I learned I was pregant I did a very deep personal reality check. I sat with the decision, which is my way. My husband and I were very tentative about having children (this was 1989). With the state of the world, and our own personal fears or shortcomings, we took the decision - the commitment - very seriously. I knew for one that if we took the leap it would have to be at the "right time" for us. The right time for us was when I could commit wholeheartedly; would not have to rush in the morning to take my infant to daycare; could let her rhythms guide - dominate - mine. For me, it had to be an unequivocal commitment. I wasn't ready - nor was my husband, who never tried to influence me. A very, very personal choice.

At 5 weeks we terminated. I held up emotionally, and felt I was doing right by all involved.

Since then, "pro-lifers" have tried to convince me that I am a criminal, going to hell, an unsaveable sinner. I almost bought in...

This article on ThinkProgress is a breath of fresh air. Recommended reading.


http://thinkprogress.org/culture/2015/12/15/3732106/abortion-tv-2015/

<snip>

2015 also signaled somewhat of a change in the way that on-screen characters respond when they’re confronted with pregnancy decisions.

This year, abortion wasn’t always portrayed as a dramatic or life-altering decision. In this season of HBO’s Girls, for example, one character casually mentions the fact that she recently had an abortion, a decision that she didn’t talk over with her boyfriend and that she defends against his negative reaction once he finds out. In the CW’s Jane the Virgin, one character calmly advises another to get an abortion rather than follow through with a pregnancy that was conceived through deceptive means. And on Scandal, Kerry Washington’s character gets an abortion without any discussion about the procedure whatsoever.

“We’re seeing more abortions treated as matter-of-fact and unapologetic. We’re not seeing a lot of the agonizing decision making that we would have seen even five years ago,” Sisson said. “Abortion is being shown a little more like just another part of women’s reproductive lives.”

It’s a welcome shift for reproductive rights advocates, who have long argued that inaccurate pop culture representations of abortion affect Americans’ attitudes about the issue. For instance, Sisson and Kimport have previously found evidence that abortion is portrayed as more dangerous on the screen than it is in real life, which could contribute to the political fiction that abortion needs to be more tightly regulated.

[dembotoz]

1. we need to fight to protect our rights cause they sure as hell want to take them away

[cilla4progress]

2. Follow-up to this story...

4 years later, when our lives had stabilized, we had our one baby daughter, who will be 23 in January. It was intentional, and it took only 2 weeks after deciding, to conceive! We had the rural property we always pined for, and other personal needs fulfilled that we wanted aligned before becoming parents. I knew intuitively that without that, I would be an anxious unhappy mom.

We were able to afford my working part-time, which I did from home, while our daughter was an infant. We had health insurance through my husband's work. There were either very expensive or very low-quality daycare options available in our rural community (still the case). We were able to remain middle class, rather than slipping under.

I lost ground professionally, by going on the "mommy track," but with a lot of hard work and tenacity I climbed my way back up. I gradually returned to the workforce - working part-time in pretty crappy positions in my field, but keeping a toehold, until she was about 13, then returned fulltime.

Personal choices. Different for every family. My story. Glad to get a little support from popular culture. It's a side of the abortion story that's rarely told.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

5. Glad to hear it worked out OK for you :) n/t

[valerief]

3. Lack of access to abortion is life or death. Abortion isn't life or death.

Let's hope this TV trend in Truth About Abortion continues.

[cilla4progress]

4. Truly..

one of our supposed tenets in this country is choice.

Oh, but not for women/POC/LGBTQ...I get it...

[niyad]

7. come on, now. you are acting as if you think that the groups you mentioned are actually people.

[niyad]

6. thank you for sharing your story. the choice to have, or not have, children, should not ever

be in the hands of gynoticians, the church, or anybody other than the woman and whoever (if anyone) she includes. PERIOD.

[cilla4progress]

8. I wholeheartedly

concur!

[hamsterjill]

9. You made the choice that was right for you.

Your story is inspiring, and I thank you for sharing.

I worry that younger women in today's world do not take the idea of LOSING the freedom to choose seriously enough. Sometimes, mere mortals don't miss something until it's gone. I'm an old fart and remember the days before access to abortion was safe. I remember hearing of women dying from botched abortions, and I remember even as a teen thinking THAT was ridiculous.

To me, it's healthcare. It's a subject that should be between a woman and her health care provider, and anyone else whom she seeks to discuss it with. Beyond that, there should be no discussion of it because it should be as private as any other medical procedure.

[cilla4progress]

10. Yes. Women must be trusted

to make their own decision, as the responsible adults we are.

Thank you for saying it's inspiring. It's a little sad to me in part because if there had been a stronger social safety net, that would have been a factor in our decision. Not the only factor, but a factor.

Parents should have a choice about leaving their newborns to return to work. It shouldn't mean risking sliding into poverty.

[CharlotteVale]

12. K&R. Abortion rights are my #1 line in the sand.

[niyad]

13. yours and mine both. if a person is not completely for women's autonomy, I want nothing to do

with him/her, on any level.

and before the typical response shows up, if a person is not for women's autonomy, that person does not regard women as full, complete human beings, thereby dismissing the existence of over half the world. therefore, we have nothing to say to each other.