I must not fear.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
I'm sure many of you can relate to the difficulties we humans have, both with acknowledging need, and with asking for help. I am, at turns, embarrassed, ashamed, angry, and afraid -- very afraid. Why can't an almost sixty year old, educated, hard-working individual make her own way in the world?!?
Well, perhaps because, unexpectedly, I have just spent the last five weeks bedridden with severe sciatica. I had no idea I could experience such relentless, debilitating pain! I've had no income during this enforced bed rest, and have had far too many moments when fear has seemed my only companion.
The good news is, I'm recovering, finally. My doctor prescribed diclofenac (thank you, thank you, my dearest lovely C***e, for recommending this anti-inflammatory!), and I can walk farther and stand or sit longer with only modest pain.
I do have two jobs to which I can return, hopefully by this coming weekend. However, I get less than $9 an hour, and have only once been allowed to work more than 32 hours in a week. My income has been just sufficient to pay my monthly expenses, and I still qualify for food stamps (thankfully, as this has enabled me to continue to eat).
Consequently, I need help. If I can get help with my rent, utilities, and medical expenses for just next month, I will be fine.
Please help. Even a small donation will help, AND every single donation is GREATLY appreciated.
(Please also note that I am aware that many, many -- TOO many -- of us are in dire straits, so if you cannot help, please give me a K&R -- and a
)
My GoFundMe page is here.
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Just this morning, I woke up sleeping on my left side -- the OMG, the PAIN!! side -- and there was no pain!!!!
NO PAIN!!!!
There are just not enough words to express how relieved I am, and how hopeful I have become that the MRI and the surgery are not necessary!
Thank you so much for keeping track.
I was just telling Mnemosyne that I woke up this morning laying on my bad side, and there was no pain. SMH!!! I have been up and walking around, and I see my doctor this Thursday, and I am VERY hopeful she will clear me for work.
Thank you for the kick.
and many
tytytyty!
Have you seen the movie "Human," by Yann Arthus-Bertrand? I thought of you when I started watching it. I think it's so powerful, and I hope you will watch it, if you haven't already. I'm still watching, as there are three parts on YouTube (and, I posted the first part in Videos here).
