Male privilege & a basket of tampons

[TalkingDog]

http://gallagherwitt.tumblr.com/post/133986448001/male-privilege-a-basket-of-tampons

At some point, my friend had occasion to use the bathroom. When he went into the bathroom, he was disgusted to see that the hostess had left a basket of feminine hygiene products on the counter for guests to use if needed.

Later, when my friend told me about it, he wrinkled his nose and said, “Why would she do that? Guys don’t want to see that!”

When I suggested that she was just making them available in case a woman needed them, he insisted that they could be left in the cabinet or under the counter. Out of sight, anyway.

I wish I’d had, at the time, the ability to articulate what I can now.

[hedgehog]

1. K&R Thank-you!

[packman]

2. Hmm - what if there was a basket of condoms

Just saying, for the men to use . Would a woman be offended if she walked into that bathroom?

[hedgehog]

3. I would hope we have reached the point where sexually active women carry condoms -

the Pill is no protection from STDs.

[NCTraveler]

5. Condoms are for men and women.

There were times in my life where I liked to have one with me.

[packman]

10. Remember when you got your first leather wallet

and you put a condom in it and then as time passed:

[URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]

[NCTraveler]

12. They never did that to my purse and it.......

is an irresponsible manner in which to hold one anyway. Just one more reason I took care of myself in that area instead of trusting a guy to properly do so. Far too many young men think that is a good way to carry them.

[packman]

13. Opps, sorry - gender error

And that condom in the wallet probably expired , like, years ago.

[NCTraveler]

15. No problem on the gender error at all. I took no offense.

Thanks. And yes, a ring on the wallet is concerning. lol.

[RoccoR5955]

36. Never happened to me

It got used in due time. And I needed more than one, so I kept a box of them in my backpack.

[libdem4life]

6. And exactly why would a man need a condom in the bathroom...maybe I don't want to know.

Most women I know would howl in laughter...that's a picture that's hard to get out of your head.

On second thought, some might run in terror or at least check under the stalls first?

Just messin' with you ... gender stuff is fascinating.

[jeff47]

16. You never know when you might suddenly want to make a balloon animal. (nt)

[libdem4life]

20. Not touching that one with a 10-foot pole.

[jeff47]

21. ...or need to protect the end of a 10 foot pole from liquids.

[w0nderer]

51. for a long time in the nordic countries

Sweden and Denmark at least

it wasn't unusual to have free condom handouts in a huge bowl or brandy snifter (think soccer ball big)

in bars and nightclubs

actually Roskilde festivalen (rock festival in denmark) used to run a 'rock and roll on' (roll...on..) with a badge/pin and a 5 pack of condoms handed out free

as for tampons in the bathroom? why not, there for the ladies, or the men if they get a nosebleed (or anything else) useful things tampons

[libdem4life]

57. That's Europe for you. (Just finished reading about Angela Merkel...did we really come from there?)

Oh I remember, it was the Puritans who came over here. Yes, a little bit of something for whatever floats your boat, as they say.

[w0nderer]

61. *teasing* what's this "we" sh** i'm a johnny come lately to check out the progress don't even get

to vote yet!

but

yeah...old OZ saying
europe exported religious freaks to the US, criminals to Australia, Australia got the better deal

somewhat

[libdem4life]

62. I think you're on to something there. God/dess help us all.

[w0nderer]

64. what little religion i have is aesir

so god and goddesses, or more like "kinsmen'

Happy holidays
may the little people ease burdens at work if you believe in them
and if not, may you shoulder it well

[saturnsring]

25. i ,as a man, would think wtf

[lunatica]

42. Women use condoms too.

Probably more than men do.

But tampons are not for safe sex, etc. condoms are for a biological function common in women of a certain age group.

If I walked in a saw a basket of tampons my first thought would be that I sure don't need them anymore and I sure don't miss them!

[pnwmom]

44. No. But you have a choice to engage in sex. You don't have a choice about periods.

So they're not comparable.

[MineralMan]

52. I lived in a huge old house while in college.

Eight bedrooms. It ran as a sort of communal living deal. On the coffee table in the main living room was a fishbowl full of condoms. Tampons in the bathrooms? Of course. It was a fun place to live, for sure. 1970-72.

[w0nderer]

65. you rock!

i love your anecdotes

[niyad]

4. ohhhhh, the pooooooor, set-upon man, forced to look at tampons. such delicate sensibilities.

too bad that the hostess did not provide a fainting couch for him.

"put them in a cabinet or under the counter"?? out of sight? nobody is going to go snooping through cabinets, etc. when a guest in someone's home. what a jerk he is.

[libdem4life]

11. If you don't mind, I'm going to use your post for a similar subject...the word "douchebag"

and how it's often used way, way out of context and as a pejorative. Women's parts and their necessities are best left unmentioned by the other gender.

I have the deepest of respect for men and the real gender burdens they bear, as well. Heck, the love of my life is now a man. I raised him and taught him to respect everything female...even PMS.

[niyad]

14. you are more than welcome to use it.

[Dont call me Shirley]

45. A gender specific opposite to that is a dickwipe.

[libdem4life]

47. Oh Noes...LOL. Promise I won't use it if they don't.

[w0nderer]

68. can i grab 4-6

2 for my med kit, 2 for my survival kit and 2 for my on person in case my date miscalculated i'm cooly considerate kit?


sheeh ye'd think some of these people never were asked by their gf's go down and pick up tampons or sanitary pads or what ever


sure hun, you feel bad? ok...so midol and which brand and model pad? *writes down* got ya... 10 minutes babe <<--what's wrong that?

[niyad]

70. now, that person is considerate and thoughtful. the person mentioned in the article is an idiot.

[snooper2]

7. many many uses for tampons, even at parties!

LOL

[sarge43]

35. We used them to spit shine our shoes

Far handier and neater than cotton balls

[central scrutinizer]

49. The wrappers are a good substitute

for rolling papers. We used them when we were out of Zig-Zags.

[niyad]

8. And people wonder why we still need feminism.

the whole article is a most excellent read.

[saturnsring]

26. assuming the story is even true

[LanternWaste]

30. No doubt, the myopic and dogmatic will certainly hope the story is not true...

No doubt, the myopic and dogmatic will certainly hope the story is not true... as it doesn't validate many particular, out-dated biases. Much better for them to wish it away...

[niyad]

66. and why would you assume it isn't? I have known plenty of men who think exactly that way.

[Bonx]

9. Important thread. Glad I didn't miss this one.

[B2G]

17. Privilege? No. Idiocy? Yes.

[TygrBright]

24. "Why is this privilege?"

The conclusion of the article illustrates nicely:

"It’s part of the same thought process that measures a woman’s value through her bra size and her willingness to have sex with him—that everything about us is displayed or hidden based on how men perceive them or what he wants to get from us...

...It’s the line of thinking where a man blames anything other than cheerful sexual consent on the woman being a bitch, being a lesbian, or—naturally—being on her period. Everything we do, from our facial expressions to our use of hygiene products, are filtered the lens of “how it looks to a man.”

It’s the line of thinking where a small gesture from one woman to another, an assurance that someone else understands and will help her without question or judgment, a gesture which could save a woman’s evening from being ruined, is trumped by a man’s desire to see an untainted landscape of pretty, smiling women with visible cleavage and vaginas that never bleed."

Privilege is also encapsulated in the mindset of "The way I see the world is the normal/default/correct way to see the world and any challenge to how I see the world is unreasonable."

helpfully,
Bright

[niyad]

63. read the reply below, or the article, one or the other, which will explain both privilege and

idiocy.

[PersonNumber503602]

18. Some people are idiots. The guy in that story is an idiot. I don't see much more to it than that.

As as guy I'd be annoyed if someone said something that stupid to me. I can only speak for myself, but I don't think many guys find the sight of tampons disgusting. I can only imagine the horrors such a person would experience when going to the supermarket.

I don't really see privilege though. Had they actually been hidden away or difficult to access, then I think there'd be a solid point about privilege. Here we just have an idiot who thinks his illogical thoughts should be respected.

[bettyellen]

58. his illogical thoughts are on how a woman should prioritize his comfort well above a woman's...

and as such, is part of a much bigger picture constantly filled with that sort of illogical behavior.

[niyad]

67. you might try reading the entire article, which explains how male privilege is involved.

[valerief]

19. But it's okay for him to see toilet paper.

What an asshole.

[Dont call me Shirley]

46. Good one...

[phylny]

59. Funniest/smartest thing I've read all night. Bravo! n/t

[valerief]

71. Thank you. I'll be here all week. Remember to tip your waitress. nt

[3catwoman3]

22. Imagine how grossed out this ...

...cretin would have been had he had to see a woman with blood-stained clothing because mother nature came calling unexpectedly and no supplies had been available.

Excellent article.

[jalan48]

23. Why should we men care? I don't.

[hifiguy]

29. Who in his right mind would give a single hamster turd?

[B2G]

38. Because one jackhole said something, that allows the narrative

to be written that men are privileged bafoons who are totally insensitive to women and their biology, thus whipping up more righteous outrage between the sexes.

Men vs women, blacks vs whites, conservatives vs liberals...

Pick a side or get off the field dammit!

[Turbineguy]

27. In the movie "The King of New York"

they use them to plug bullet holes. In modern America, one must be open to all eventualities.

[Victor_c3]

34. I did that in real life

They gave them to us when I was in Iraq for that reason.

The person on the receiving was less than enthusiastic about it though. However they were probable pissed off that we had shot them already so we had nothing to lose.

Taking a step back, it was funny when I think about the incident and me my medic fumbling around with the tampon and applicator while we were trying to put it the hole in the kids back.

[hifiguy]

28. Whatta maroon.

[Victor_c3]

31. As a guy, I could care less about seeing tampons

I have never understood the revulsion other guys display towards menstruation. It's a part of female biology. It's not anymore disgusting that sneezing, peeing, or any other bodily function.

[LanternWaste]

32. This guy reminds me of the hysterical and overly-emotional reactions to...

This guy reminds me of the hysterical and overly-emotional reactions to "Woman freely bleeds running London Marathon without tampon"

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027063006

[Spitfire of ATJ]

33. I'd have told him to shove it up his ass....

Might help, since he's full of shit.

But that's me.

[alarimer]

37. Guys really need to grow up on this issue.

I get the same BS from my boyfriend at the store.

[saturnsring]

40. i have a wife and daughter. i have seen so many products like these it doesnt even phase me

[phylny]

60. My wonderful husband is the father of our three daughters.

When the oldest asked him to buy tampons at the grocery store for the first time, he was about to make a joke like he was horrified and I stopped him in his tracks. "Three daughters - you don't want to make them think men aren't grown up enough to handle menstruating women." He never said a word after that and bought what they needed when he was grocery shopping.

[olddots]

39. women are from Venus

men are from Hunger .

[KamaAina]

41. Excuse me?

[Gormy Cuss]

43. Oh, come on -- there are men who are uncomfortable seeing unused tampons?

Kids, sure. But adults? This is a bouncy.

[Warren DeMontague]

48. Some guys would probably think it's a plate of big joints, and smoke one.

Although come to think of it, a plate of big joints isn't a bad idea for your party guests, either.

[Jim Lane]

50. I wonder what the guy would do if asked to BUY the wretched things.

I was running other errands that would take me right past the drugstore, so the woman asked me to pick up tampons for her. No problem. What would this guy have done, told her she'd have to make a totally unnecessary extra trip just so he didn't have to risk touching a package of tampons and thereby lowering his testosterone level?

[Skittles]

56. a male coworker of mine from way back

told me that a wife and three teen-age daughters had cured him to his aversion to buying feminine hygiene products

[2theleft]

73. God love my boyfriend.

He will buy anything on the grocery list. I usually handled that stuff, but his 16 year old daughter needed them and I was out of town for work....Frantic text to me while in a meeting "K started her period, no stuff. I'm at store. WTF are the wings for? Why would you want your panties to fly when you are on your period?? I don't have to buy that kind, do I?" Worst part was not being able to laugh in that meeting I was in.

I laughed and laughed about that one. Still have it saved on my phone 2 years later and show all the women in the family.

[Jim Lane]

74. I can relate

Although hazy on the details, I knew that there were different kinds, different brands, etc., and I have a low tolerance for ambiguity. My only problem in buying the tampons was having to make any kind of decision. Their intended recipient had to tell me EXACTLY what she wanted, and, yes, I nerdily wrote it down.

If you've been showing your boyfriend's text around for two years and he's still with you, I'd say he's a keeper.

[lumberjack_jeff]

53. It's reassuring to see that we've resolved all the big issues. n/t

[Liberal_in_LA]

54. great article

[betsuni]

55. My sister had a tampon-obsessed cat.

He'd spend hours batting tampons around the apartment, completely absorbed in play, ecstatic. Even when my sister put the box of tampons on the highest shelf or in a closet, that cat sooner or later always found a way to get at them. Once after a first date she invited the young man back to her place, and as they sat on the sofa talking and watching the cat play, she realized with horror what the cat was playing with. Eventually the young man noticed too. I don't remember if there was a second date.

[niyad]

69. I guess that this guy would never make it in whatever that initiation ritual is in some motorcycle

clubs about having sex with a menstruating woman, eh?

[dilby]

72. I don't see why the guy had a problem.

They are all wrapped up like little fudge pops, now if she left some used ones in a trash receptacle next to the toilet, I would have been like girl should have thrown those out before the guest arrived.