A message from a good friend of mine on FB that both broke my heart and made me think.

[Photographer]

"I'm in Jasper , Alabama and I just spent an outrageous amount of money for Christmas gifts.

Then I saw an old man standing on the main road with a sign that said "please help me get back to Memphis so I can take care of my dog before I die."

Of course, no one was stopping but as I drove by I noticed that he was one of my clients when I worked in mental health and he has an IQ of a 8 year old. He was safe and secure when we took care of him back then but cuts to mental health forced his release other than a visit every now and then to the Jasper mental health center. I actually know his story is true about his dog in Memphis because that was where he was sent to live with his drug addicted sister.

I called some of my former MH co workers and he now has a bus ride to Memphis with a mental health service administrator waiting on him when he arrives. If I wouldn't have known him would I have stopped? Probably not. I need to do some serious soul searching. What have I become? What have we become?"

That's the end of this message from my friend and it hits hard during this holiday season.

[lumberjack_jeff]

1. Kicking. n/t

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

2. K&R. nt

[elleng]

3. Hits us ALL hard.

[Photographer]

4. Me especially for a single memory.

I once brought a homeless vet to my home to spend Xmas eve in a home. I gave him a big box of wine for Christmas and got in an argument with my family over Xmas dinner the next day because they wouldn't let me bring him along.

I ended up driving him to an interstate per his request so he could hitch a ride. He carried the remnants of the wine with him and I went back home and cried.

[elleng]

5. Oh golly.

[whathehell]

17. You're a kind, compassionate man, photographer..

[BlueCaliDem]

27. You have a heart of gold, Photographer. Heart of gold.

[homegirl]

39. This year

I am attempting to celebrate the 12 days of Christmas by doing a good deed every day. Hopefully I will be able to make it my New Years resolution to continue the practice. Peace!

[Squinch]

62. Nice idea. I'm going to copy you.

[Marie Marie]

6. Wow

[cui bono]

7. Wow! What a story.

It is sad how many people are like him and are passed by.

I know whenever I pass someone who asks for money I pass judgment on whether I should give them any or not. I mean I can't give to everyone because I live in a huge city where there are so many, but who am I to judge which people I should give to and why? I don't know their story.

Good for you for taking care of him, and good for you for thinking about the deeper meaning of it all.

.

[Photographer]

13. +100 n /t

[Maraya1969]

47. I hear people say they don't want to give money to a drug addict or alcoholic

so they just pass them by. And that makes sense to a point. But these people do eat and they need other things and besides any of that the miracle to me is the gift of giving itself.

A lot of things are running around in my head right now and I certainly know I don't know everything or even a little bit of anything but it just occurred to me that maybe giving smaller amounts to more people might be a good thing because just acknowledging that a homeless person is a person helps I heard people who have been homeless say they feel invisible. Like other people don't look at them or acknowledge them, (and that is understandable because it is a hard situation for the other person too)

Or maybe if we just all made a pact to look each homeless person we see in the eye and smile at them and let them know we SEE them.

I used to run around doing errands and would keep my head down, not really feeling like I wanted to bother with anyone. Now I make it a point to smile at as many people as I can when I am out. And I try to give a compliment to someone because I know I feel good when someone gives me a compliment.

And I notice now that those errand days are much happier. ( Also, sending people good wishes all day long will do wonders for your own feelings of contentment)

[cui bono]

48. I give out food a lot. Buy extra and give it out on the way home.

Sometimes my job buys me dinner and I'm not hungry so I give it to a homeless person. One time I was getting a burrito and I saw this guy outside on the way in and he looked like he was missing a lot of teeth, so I bought an extra bean and cheese burrito and asked him if he wanted it when I was leaving. He smiled and graciously thanked me and took it. When he got it in his hands he looked at me and said, "Oh!... It's warm!". Broke my heart.

.

[Maraya1969]

49. That is a great idea. And thank you for helping that man with no teeth! That

is so thoughtful! I don't think I would have thought of teeth or lack of being a factor. But now you have taught me something!

[Joe Chi Minh]

52. There's nothing like these posts to make you realise what a

divine gift it is to be a human being, to care so deeply for the welfare of others.

And the tragedy for themselves of the wickedness of the wicked. We're in an ante-room of heaven here, without so much as an NDE.

[senz]

63. Yes.

When I'm out and about, I've noticed how ignored the homeless are and have made it a point to smile, say hello, and give them something, usually a dollar. When I was working downtown, I probably gave about $10 a week. And you're right, treating others well does something nice for one's own mood.

[oasis]

8. Thanks, you made my day.

[Photographer]

10. Naw, Thank you.

[smirkymonkey]

9. +1000

[Divernan]

11. I keep a stash of $5 bills in my car to give to "beggars"

I used to give $1 bills, but how much food can you get for a buck nowadays? Some cynical people say that people standing by the roadside with signs asking for help are slick, scam artists, and I'm a sucker for giving them money.

I disagree. Maybe some of them aren't as destitute as they'd like us to think - but they are still people reduced to standing out in bad weather, with no job benefits, trying to survive.

You know who the slick, scam artists are? I nominate a multi-millionaire grifter whose "charitable" foundation skims a percentage off all the "donations" processed from corporations and countries seeking political quid pro quos.

The people who are suckers are the ones donating their hard-earned dollars to One Percent candidates.

[Photographer]

12. Good on you.

Cynicism has its place, but you are so spot on as to who the real grifters are.

Hope you realize a karma in tune with your compassion.

[Pacifist Patriot]

14. Completely agree!

[Facility Inspector]

15. don't believe in karma or religion

but I will always look out for a homeless brother or sister.

Even if it is to offer a cigarette - I usually don't have money.

[F4lconF16]

43. Same here. I carry a lighter on me.

I give money when I can, but I'm scraping by and $5 goes a long way. I like keeping a couple cigarettes in my pack and a lighter in my pocket even though I don't smoke. It can make someone's day. Water if I have it on me, too.

[annabanana]

33. poverty is the hardest job in America

who actually thinks the rewards are so generous.. standing outside hour after hour in all weather?

[awoke_in_2003]

53. My feeling is that, if someone scammed me

that is on them, not me. I help where I can. What people do with that money is none of my business. I try to help- that is all I can do.

[hopemountain]

60. thank you for doing this because

i do it also. and there are some who share their food with their pet companion and so $5 has to go a little further.

the other thing is that in our community even the shelters and food programs make you complete a form to receive any food or services. those forms - no matter how few questions are on them are invasive and an affront to human dignity. i call it conditional giving. snark.

[Photographer]

16. Kicking... I was hoping this wouldn't slide to page 2 so fast.

[WillyT]

18. K & R !!!

[raouldukelives]

19. The least among us are outside and alone, every night.

I can only imagine the horror of being an outcast or a schizophrenic cold and alone in this world.

It would cost us so little, but if there isn't room for shareholders to profit from it, there isn't room for assistance.

[niyad]

20. k and r

[Bryce Butler]

21. K & R

[navarth]

22. The one and only thing wrong with this is

...we should be that way all year long.

Yes I know everybody here is like that, I'm mostly referring to all those humans out there; you know, the ones that only give a fuck about themselves.

[sagetea]

23. My christmas gift last year...

For the last 3 yrs. my husband has been working in Texas and Louisiana. I take care of all the expenses, and I kept noticing that every other week, he would with drawl 200.00$ from our personal checking accounts.

It went on for over a year, I couldn't figure out what he was doing with the cash. ( did think that maybe he was going to strip clubs) lol! Anything to bolster the old man!

Anyway, I finally asked him when he came home last November, why? This is what he said.

"Sage, every year, you donate to your favorite charities instead of receiving a gift from me. When I first came down here to work, I saw the devastation and the incredible amount of people that have been misplaced, so I give out money to them as my own way of giving back."

Then it dawned on me that after 20 yrs. of marriage, this man that I thought I knew, was still able to overwhelm and surprise me!

I encourage him to keep it up...last summer, he had to have an operation and was out of work for a couple of months which put a big dent in our bank accounts. when he went back to work, even though we now have huge hospitals bills, the with drawls keep coming out. I asked him if we should build up our savings again, No was all he said.

This may be stupid to you, but I am still so very proud to be his wife!

sage

[Photographer]

24. What a great story.

Thanks for posting it.

[chervilant]

25. I think it takes a great deal of courage,

not just to be homeless, but to ASK for help. We are taught from childhood to be self-sufficient, to "pull ourselves up by our bootstraps," as it were. But, when you have no bootstraps, asking for help becomes a grim necessity if you are to survive. This does NOT make it any easier to ask. To have to ask, when you have NO resources, how very difficult must that be?

I have spent the last five weeks bedridden due to sciatica, a perniciously painful physical malady about which I knew nothing until it disabled me entirely. I woke up this morning filled with extreme anxiety and nausea because my GoFundMe campaign has netted me less than a tenth of what I need to recover financially, and returning to work is unlikely for at least another week. I keep trying not to succumb to this anxiety, and to remain hopeful and upbeat. It's challenging, to say the least. I keep reminding myself that the pain is significantly reduced, and that this too shall pass.

So many people herein have expressed condolences, and sincere wishes to help, but they are in similar dire straits, financially and with regards to their health. So many millions of us are struggling simply to make ends meet and to maintain a meager household, with the specter of a single medical or financial crisis looming in the backs of our minds. One single crisis, and all of our "bootstrap" efforts are for naught. I had no idea what is sciatica until I couldn't stand, sit, or lay flat without excruciating pain. I cannot begin to imagine what it's like to be in such dire straits, AND not have a home or a shelter from the storm.

I have always helped the homeless people I encounter, and I always will. I've carried food and fruit in my car, and I've given money whenever I can. I hope that more of us will escape the bonds of judgment, and help our struggling brethren. We HAVE to have each others' backs!

[RobinA]

26. As a Person

also in community mental health, we do what we can. And no, it will never be "enough." If we bash our heads too often or too hard on this particular brick wall we will end up comatose or brain damaged and therefore no good to anyone.

I look at doing what I can do as adding my light to the sum of light. It helps me to look at it that way because it assumes there is other light out there. That quote is actually from Tolstoy, but I got it from the movie The Year of Living Dangerously where it is quoted by Billy Kwan who is attempting to aid poverty in Asia.

When taking stock, I try to look at what I have done rather than getting lost in the vast ocean of what I have not done and cannot do.

[BlueCaliDem]

28. As a (non-practicing) Christian, I've always believed that we should give without conditions.

What they choose to do with the money is no longer our concern. Give with the heart and hope for the best, but don't overthink things.

I've raised my children to do the same thing. Don't question what they might do with the money. Just give with your heart and hope for the best.

Just recently, a day before Thanksgiving, hubby, son, his girlfriend, and I were having lunch at a local Mexican restaurant (hubby can't get enough of Mexican food - and he's Dutch!). I of course am always tasked with doing the ordering for everyone, so when I eventually came to the table after placing our order, I saw this young, uncomfortable man sitting rather close. I gave my hubby a curious look and he nodded for me to sit down. In Dutch, he told me that the young man had asked if we had any cash for something to eat. Luckily, I had cash on me and gave him $15. I knew it took a lot for this young man to ask for charity in front of two people who were around his age. I knew he was embarrassed.

In the end, he got in line but when he saw we weren't looking, he left without ordering. I felt badly for him because I knew he felt embarrassed about having to order his meal there and then to have to sit in the same restaurant as the people who helped him. I wished he didn't think that way, but I understand.

My children are all working and two of them are members of ASPCA and the Humane Society. They donate every month. If someone asks any of us for a couple of dollars, and if we have it, we give it, no questions asked, no "wondering" what they'll do with it. I've raised my children to either give with their heart or not give at all. I can't stand people who question what these people will do with the charity they receive. It's none of our business. I firmly believe that our "business" ends the moment the money leaves our hands.

[F4lconF16]

45. I have a slightly different perspective on it, but I completely agree.

I'm poor and I make stupid financial decisions all the time. I'm lucky that I have as much of a handle on my finances as it is and that I have enough to live, if just.

I know a lot of people who are in situations worse then mine. Trying to keep ahold of your finances is not easy on constantly fluctuating income, being payed sporadically or sometimes not at all.

Homeless? What is $5, $10 here or there? What are they supposed to do, save it? You need a non-predatory banking account, and good luck getting one, as well as everything else involved with trying to set up a somewhat regular life. Some days that $10 might be food money. Some days, maybe it means you can smoke and not feel like crap. And it's embarrassing enough for many just to ask, as you said. Expecting them to do something that you want with it is humiliating. We need to respect their right to self-determination.

When you help someone, you help them. Not choose for them.

[Joe Chi Minh]

50. Yes, I wonder what the PC people with a hang-up about money, make

of Christ's tribute to the old widow in the Parable of the Widow's Mite.

They would doubtless say something like : "Don't you understand the moral hazard you've just placed yourself in, probably having to rely on others to pay for your next meal ! Where is your prudence, woman ! Prudence is a virtue !"

[SmittynMo]

29. The big story here

is "cuts to mental health". I'm sure the GOP was behind the cuts. Leaving mental health patients unchecked can cause a lot of problems. Does that sound familiar?

So how do we fix this? A good start would be healthcare for all.

Vote for Bernie and let's get started.

Note "Hillary wants to fix the ACA", which it totally the wrong answer. The ACA is temporary, leaves 29M without, and is catastrophic insurance.

[marble falls]

30. They call it burnout, but what it is a form of PTSD. I cannot even look at the ads from the ...

Humane Society without breaking down and I'm tearing up now just thinking about it. If I were to work with humans, especially children - I'm afraid I'd end up a client. I watched a lawyer friend who worked for the Dallas DA's sex crimes against children dept and she totally collapsed in less than four years. She owns a recycled toy shop now.

[Fla Dem]

31. I'm not sure it's what we've become as much as it is the reality of life.

Would I a lone older woman stop for a man with a sign? Probably not for a number of reasons, including safety issues, and general lack of knowledge of what to do to help him. If he said he needed $50 for a bus ticket, would I believe him? How do I know it wouldn't be used for drugs or liquor. So yes, I probably would have passed him by. I'm glad you were able to recognize him and had the resources to help him out. I don't think your friend needs to do much soul searching. A lesser person with the same history would have kept going.

[Angry Dragon]

32. kick

[CRH]

34. Your friend suffered an attack of humility, ...

and was thrust into a selfless act of kindness, by his/her conscience.

He/she was paid in spades with a small moment of peace, after having done the right thing.

No better statement than humble.

[hamsterjill]

35. I'm glad your friend took action. That's what is needed.

We can't all stop and help every homeless person that we see. It would be an impossible task in my city, at least, as I'm sure it is everywhere. There are just too many homeless. But when we can - when we can do something positive (like call former co-workers, etc.), then it is imperative that we act.

What have we become? As a whole, I'm afraid we've become a society that is too afraid to feel because that's going to hurt too much. (Of course, there are those who are greedy jerks, too.) It's up to those of us who still DO care to set the example and do what we can.

[Liberal_in_LA]

36. Kick. Thank u for helping him

[nolabear]

37. I've often wondered where some of my therapy patients ended up.

Don't ever believe you know the stories of those people you see on the street. I've known some incredibly gifted, wonderful, successful people whose illnesses made it impossible for them to negotiate life as it is now. If they had the most simple things available they might have a chance. The way we leave them helpless they often do not. It's heartbreaking.

[Photographer]

38. You do good work. Kudos.

[nolabear]

42. Thanks. Sadly it really gives you a look at the differences in social and economic strata.

Most of the practitioners I know make some time and space for some pro bono or reduced fee work for those who just can't get services otherwise. But it's hard to see people who have no family support, nowhere to be safe and get their basic needs met, to establish relationships that can help them get their legs under them, etc. People who have those things have such a better chance of hanging in and finding a combination of meds, therapy, whatever, that lets them have a good life.

I'd give a lot for universal health care and a new paradigm in mental health treatment.

[Divernan]

54. Charles Dickens absolutely agreed with your perspective.

Last weekend I went to a performance of Oliver Twist. I'm hard of hearing and the theatre company's customer relations person kindly emailed me a script of the particular adaptation in advance. This struck me when I read these lines, and particularly when I heard them delivered on the stage. Grimwig & Brownlow are two proper English gentlemen. Mr. Grimwig is the One Percenter/Scrooge (have we no workhouses?) character. Mr. Brownlow is the good-hearted man who goes to great lengths to track down and help Oliver, even before he learns that Oliver is in fact his niece's son.

MR. GRIMWIG: But what has this to do with the boy?
MR. BROWNLOW: Nothing, nothing at all – But I had a niece who felt un-loved – alone – betrayed and with nowhere to turn. And I did nothing to help her. If another one such passes through my life again – I must do what I can to help. This boy is one such.

[SammyWinstonJack]

40. To your friend..

[allan01]

41. bravo

[Depaysement]

44. I know what you've become

The Good Samaritan in Luke's gospel.

As for the rest of us, I cannot say, though I have some well worn ideas.

[Flaxbee]

46. A very insensitive person once told me that if a homeless person's sign was funny,

that person hadn't been homeless long enough.

Can you believe someone would actually BELIEVE that? How long is long enough, dammit?

Anyway. It is not always possible to give money; I don't always have cash and there have been times I wasn't sure if I'd have a home in a month. But it is ALWAYS important to see that person as someone who deserves respect and dignity. Until you know what has happened (and even then), judging someone who is homeless is a heartless thing to do.

[Joe Chi Minh]

51. Reading that made my blood run cold. High time for a return of that

classic by Joan Baez : 'There but for Fortune...'

I once read Joan said she'd offered a homeless man a twenty-dollar bill, but he refused it, just so happy to have her autograph, or maybe just see her - I can't remember now. 'Where your treasure is, there your heart is.'

In future, I'm going to say - unless I know the guy well : 'Make sure you spend it on something disreputable !'

[senz]

64. She had a gentle, loving message.

I remember her urging Berkeley protesters in the 1960s to "do this with love."

[Squinch]

55. Every time I read something you wrote, I like you more and more.

[Photographer]

58. Thanks, Squinch. I needed that.

[Squinch]

61. .

[spanone]

56. K&R...

[Bigmack]

57. K & R nt

[hopemountain]

59. one year my jeep

broke down at the beginning of december. as the sole support for my family, i needed this vehicle for my job in snowy, rural northern nevada - so of course, my entire paycheck went for repairs. there was no money for christmas that year and the pantry was bare - except for flour.

one night during the dinner hour a friend called to ask how we were doing. my hubby, who was on the heart transplant list, answered.
"what are you doing?", our friend asked.
"cookin' dinner", hubby replied.
"whatcha havin'?" friend asked.
"pancakes. same ol' same ol'", came the reply.
"what? pancakes? why?" friend asked.
so, hubby explained.

about an hour later, cars began pulling in the drive. several of our friends/neighbors brought us food from their pantries and freezers. whole frozen salmon! venison roasts and steaks! local butchered beef, a butchered chicken, beans, soups, veggies, p&b, cheese, eggs, etc.. one of our friends was in the middle of making indian tacos when she received the call about our situation - and she packed up and brought us a hot meal of indian tacos straight from her stove.

things had been challenging for us for a while and i could not remember when our food stores had been so full. i was humbled and sobbing. in this depressed community many of our friends were unemployed and i was fortunate to have a steady job. many of them were on tight budgets with food support - and yet, they shared with us. we did not have gifts under the tree that year - but we had one another and a delicious meal.

the generosity of our friends and neighbors showed me how we can never be too poor or without - to share something!

[senz]

65. K&R - thanks for this, Photographer.

Sometimes we get so comfortable that we forget what other people are going through.

I hope we will elect a President in 2016 who cares about people.