Tired of violence, doctor offers penile enlargements for assault rifles

[L. Coyote]

Tired of violence, doctor offers penile enlargements for assault rifles
December 31, 2012 By Dead Serious News

Dr. Aretha WashingtonDr. Aretha Washington, a well respected Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon, has an offer men can’t refuse-trade in your assault rifle for a larger penis.

Over the years, Dr. Washington has performed thousands of penile enlargement surgeries. In conversing casually with her male patients, they all have one thing in common. Their small penises force these men to compensate in other areas of their existence. According to Dr. Washington, men with the smallest penises tend to own assault rifles. “I don’t ask my patients if they own guns, but meagerly endowed men tend to bring up their assault gun collection during our consultation. I have seen this time and time again over the years,” asserts Dr. Washington.

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[KamaAina]

1. Too bad that's satire

[L. Coyote]

2. Old satire, but pertinent today

[hifiguy]

4. From Jonathan Swift to "Idiocracy"

the best satire always has a nice fat grain of truth at its core.

I've actually had to explain to people on DU that that's what makes it funny.

[snooper2]

3. So is it just boob jobs for women or do they have more options?

[L. Coyote]

6. Perhaps it is time to bring up the testosterone divide on mass killing.

Why are we not talking about how this is a male cultural problem?

[snooper2]

12. you should probably ask Nancy Lanza and Laurel Harper their views

Since the raised such nice well adjusted young men

[Manifestor_of_Light]

5. When I see some guy in a huge jacked up truck pass me,

I yell, "MICROPENIS!!!"

or "PUBIES!"

[ScreamingMeemie]

7. I do something similar here in Houston, but more subtle...

More along the lines of,"Because nothing says tiny penis quite like a Hummer." Not yelled, loud enough to hear as I walk past their double-space parked vehicle in the H-E-B parking lot.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

9. Hey! I do that when I'm in Houston too!!

To me, a Hummer says, "I Have bad taste and LOTS of money to spend, because I need a heavily armored combat ready truck, minus the turret and guns, to make people get out of my way in Houston."

There's a joke that people that own Hummers cannot get a real "hummer" (blow job) because they're repulsive.

I wouldn't know. I wouldn't date a Republican.

[Nye Bevan]

8. "Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?"

[longship]

10. Dr. Washington: "More penis rings! Step up production!"

"Now what am I going to do with all these AK-47s? Quick! Call the National Guard and tell them I have a sweet deal for them!"

[TipTok]

11. It's a wee bit concerning how much time the control crowd spends thinking about...

... the genitalia of the opposition.

[linuxman]

13. if i spent half the time thinking about my cock that gun controllers do

I'd be me at age twelve.

For all the talk of fixations, there sure is a kettle out there that's sick to death of being called black.

My penis sends its regards and thanks for being thought about by so many.