I've had a really bad week

[snpsmom]

I'm in grad school, away from my husband. Everyone on this site seems to hate each other. I get that it's primary season, and we're fighting for the foundation of the party and all, but does that mean we have to hate each other? Sorry if this is meta, but I had a hard time getting out of my pjs to go to class today, and I'm 51 years old. The hate is getting to me.

[uppityperson]

1. Hi snpsmom

Isn't going back to school as an adult different than being young? Congratulations on being in grad school, I hope you are working on something enjoyable.

There is a lot of outspoken bickering here, which is a shame. On the other hand, I've met some wonderful people here. I am glad to meet you.

[Suich]

2. Hang out in the Lounge...

As a rule, I don't think it is as much hate as it is a difference of opinion. Some posters are mean-spirited, but the vast majority are good, kind people. We just don't post as much.

Hang in there, and stay out of GD Primaries!

[snpsmom]

6. Thanks

Doing an MFA in creative writing after 20 years in the navy. Nice to meet you, too.

[Sherman A1]

25. best advice

is the lounge and be sure to check out the daily holidays there.....

[snpsmom]

7. Good advice n/t

[Botany]

3. I just woke back up ... things will seem better in the morning

But in the meantime here is a basket of puppies for you.

[snpsmom]

4. Thanks forthe puppies

Puppies and kitties always help.

[napi21]

5. I really don't think we all hate each other. I know I don't.

You need to stay away from the posts that are just talking hate and anger. There's a lot of other posters and the majority by far are good people who get a little grumpy once in a while.

Are you going to be able to go home for Thanksgiving? I hope so. You need a break ad to be with hubby.

BTW, my granddaughter is a freshman this year,able to commute from home though (thank God!) and she tells me it's a very normal thing for students to go to class in their PJs...every day! You should try that! Maybe it would get the whole class smiling for a change.

Edited for typos

[snpsmom]

8. Trying to imagine

me in class in my pjs. lol

[MADem]

9. Yeah, it is kind of sucky at this time of the election season.

There's lots of love in Cooking and Baking, though! And the Lounge isn't bad, either.

51? You're a spring chicken!! Don't let it get you down! It's JUST the internet--skype w/your family, and shake it off!

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. Pets... Pets is also awesome for the down times.

Love that forum and its furry denizens.

[MADem]

13. Yes, and the weekly Salmon Chanted Evening post--I look forward to that!

I had no idea what "LOL cats" was when it first fired up...I was totally unclear on the concept! But I thought it was fun as all get out!

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. It's the perfect way to close out the weekend and get ready for the week.

[MADem]

21. I agree--even when I get weary of this place, it DRAGS ME BACK!!! I can't not seek it out!! nt

[Suich]

16. I had no idea there was a Pets forum!

I'm a fan!

[ScreamingMeemie]

11. ...

At our core, I think we're all good people. That screen makes it easy to say some not-so-nice stuff from a distance. Take care of yourself.

[snpsmom]

12. Careful

Y'all might restore my faith in Democrats and make me think things are actually okay, you nice people, you.

[MADem]

14. Keep telling yourself two things...

It's ONLY the internet!!!

and


This, too, shall pass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Skittles]

18. IT'S 'TEH INTERNETS'

GET WITH THE PROGRAM MADem

[MADem]

20. Hee hee....I always forget the "teh" .... or should it be "teh teh?" nt

[Skittles]

17. you want I should kick some hateful ass, snpsmom?

I WOULD DO THAT FOR YOU MY SWEET

[snpsmom]

19. Awww, thanks

but wouldn't that just make things worse? 😜

[Skittles]

22. no, a good righteous ass kicking is very theraputic

heck, I have paying customers

[patricia92243]

23. Trash the GD-P forum. Subscribe to each individual candidates group. Go into each

group to read. They will have information about that candidate so you can make an informed decision about who you want to vote for. Guaranteed to stop the hate.

Also, you can block keywords. You can block certain posters. You do not have to put up with the hate.

When I see posters who say they are leaving DU because of this or that, my only thought is that they didn't go to the trouble to make DU their own experience.

I love DU as much as I did when I first joined it years ago. But I have had to make a few tweaks here and there to get it to be the informed, fun place it used to be.

[Solly Mack]

24. Here's hoping you have a better next week.

[yardwork]

26. I'm sorry that you are having a bad week.

As a long-time (off and on) DUer, I have learned a few things. I will share, in case any of this is helpful.

1. Read DU for entertainment.

2. Read DU for entertainment only. Seriously. Don't expect anything else from it. If it's not giving you anything positive, take a break. This is for fun, nothing else.

3. Don't let DU substitute for human contact. Even if it's the person working at the bagel counter, go interact with humans.

4. Get exercise. You're in grad school at the end of the semester, away from family and friends. It's easy to not get enough of what you need - sleep, healthy food, fresh air, exercise. Do those things instead of DU.

5. We'll be here when you return. Most of us don't hate anybody. A few of us just get noisy sometimes.

Good luck with the end of the semester.

[Quantess]

27. Best advice is to turn off DU until you graduate.

I am 100% serious. It's a giant time waster, and you need to be studying.

[JNelson6563]

28. I trash GDP & visit DU much less these days.

Sadly the primary hate bullshit spills into threads in other forums. True zealots just can't help themselves. That's why I come here less all together. I do check out a couple of the groups pretty regularly. The ones I like don't have primary nastiness going on.

Julie

[ellenrr]

29. snpsmom, I know the feeling... But I suggest,

skip "General Discussion" and go to individual forums and groups.

I also thot all there was, was hate and posturing here, but in the groups I have found some wonderful, soulful, compassionate, honest, humble, supportive, helpful people.

Good luck to you.
I know it is not easy to be in graduate school at 51.
At least, I didn't find it easy when I went back at 45 or so.

[bigwillq]

30. Stop taking a message board so seriously.

It's not a big deal if folks on a message board "hate" each other.

No need to stress yourself out over that.

Feel better.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

31. A lot of folks are fighting to survive.

Yes, many of the folks onsite are wealthy enough to survive a Clinton Presidency and hope for a better President after her... But many also aren't, and think a Bernie Presidency is their chance to stay alive at least into the next decade, or for their children to rise out of poverty and not die for lack of breathable air, fish in the ocean, animals on land.

In a fight for survival, things get nasty. We're in Mockingjay 2 time, and those of us with bows and arrows are trying to storm the capital.

[snpsmom]

32. Where's that basket of puppies again?

[cwydro]

33. Welcome to DU!

After you've been here awhile, you'll learn that it's usually the same few posters who are consistently nasty. And they spend a lot of time suspended because of it.

Most everyone else is good people.

Check out the lounge for sure!

[nolabear]

34. Hey, fellow writer! Congratulations on going to grad school!

Hit a girl up and we'll talk being women writers of a certain age!

[Le Taz Hot]

35. I don't hate anyone on DU.

I'm sure that's true for the vast majority of people on DU. I think you're in a funk and you're perceiving negatives that aren't there. Debating isn't hate, presenting varying points of view isn't hate, advocating for your candidate over other candidates isn't hate. This is your perception, my friend, having nothing to do with reality.

[snooper2]

36. you are letting conversations on a random discussion board affect your personal life?

[lpbk2713]

37. Some people lose their civility when they have a keyboard and monitor before them.

I just try to put it in perspective. They might be timid as a mouse eye to eye.

Try to avoid attaching too much importance to what gets posted.

Good luck. Concentrate on the real task at hand, getting that degree.

[annabanana]

38. do what I do... stay out of GD: Primaries

It is a cesspool.

[ThoughtCriminal]

39. Block three groups and you will see the DU you love

Did this a while back. 90% of the feuding becomes invisible and it's easier than blocking individuals.

[Shankapotomus]

40. I agree

I don't think it's just an Internet thing as others have suggested. I don't encounter this kind of hate and immature cliques on other forums.

Something about DU's policies facilitate hate within the liberal community. People are allowed to come on here and blame entire groups for their problems and that's never gonna fly with anyone, especially liberals.

There's people on DU who are absolutely certain you deserve abuse purely because of the demographic you fall under and without knowing anything else about you. Those people are sociopaths who have coopted liberal causes to engage in abusive interactions with others.