Just found out my ex called me "ultra-left wing lesbo" on FB.

[Kath1]

Well, that is a label I will wear with pride. Yes, I am very left wing but "ultra"? Don't think so.

Much rather be "ultra-left wing lesbo" than Limbaugh-brainwashed RW reactionary creep. Just saw him recently and he was SO nice. Thought that wouldn't get around to me. So stupid.

[bravenak]

1. Please block him too. You should not have to be attacked by his garbage.

He listens to Rush? I'd rather be dead than be a rightwing Rush listening jerk.

[Kath1]

8. Blocked long ago!

Found about from a mutual friend.

Yeah, I'd rather be dead, to.

[Texasgal]

2. Wear that label

with PRIDE!!!

[Kath1]

9. I do!

And will!

[Generic Other]

3. Was this his explanation for why you would reject him?

Because a woman who doesn't want him must be a lesbian? And a smart ultra-left wing one too? Some guys are as easy to read as a picture book!

[Kath1]

29. I'm in a lesbian relationship now.

Hadn't even thought of it at the time of our divorce.

But, yes, he hates left-wing women, obviously. Good luck to him.

[LittleBlue]

31. Wow

I'm in a lesbian relationship now.

You're a lesbian (or bi) who married a straight dude and left to be in a lesbian relationship, but he's still bitter.

Why does this sound like a great sitcom?

Sorry, you have my sympathies that your ex turned out to be a homophobic, abusive douche.

[Kath1]

33. It would make a great sitcom.

I could us the money, but happiness means a lot to us!

PEACE!

[yeoman6987]

4. He is your ex for a reason

Get on with life. Your days of listening to him are over when you signed the papers.

[Kath1]

10. My days of listening to him ended long before that.

But I have gotten on with my life, very happily.

Thank you!

[yeoman6987]

15. That's great. I hope my reply didn't come across nasty. I didn't mean it to.

[Kath1]

47. No worries.

We're cool.

[Blue_In_AK]

5. Thus "ex," right?

I've got one, too.

[Kath1]

11. Then you know what I mean!

Ex - YES!!!

[Blue_In_AK]

13. Mine was an abusive beast,

but thankfully our dissolution was much less chaotic than our marriage, and he hasn't bothered me since. I was one of the lucky ones.

[Kath1]

14. Yes you were! No child involved?

I got full custody because of abuse.

Glad you are rid of him.

[Blue_In_AK]

17. Yes, we have a daughter,

but she was 16 by the time we split up, so beyond the age when custody would have been an issue. She stayed with me, but I never fought him for child support. I was just glad he was gone without much fuss. I refinanced the house (which was in my name) and gave him some money, so he went away.

Our daughter is 30 now and finally recovering from the anxiety which he caused her. They stay in touch, but she really doesn't like him much. I wish I hadn't stayed with him as long as I did.

[Kath1]

21. Our stories are much the same.

Daughter was 14. Full custody for me because of abuse. She really doesn't want much to do with him.

Of course, I am to blame for turning her against him. Bullshit.

And, yes, she is recovering from the anxiety, also.

[villager]

6. I grew up in the SF Bay Area in the 60's -- welcome to the "ultra left!"

The sad thing is, all the "ultra left" things we talked/warned about, economically and environmentally, decades ago -- have all come to pass!

[Kath1]

12. I am proud to be considered ultra-left.

And yes, ultra-left views have proven true!

[davekriss]

7. Ultra?

That would be like -9/-9 on political compass fot org ... erm, that's about what I score.

[irisblue]

16. Congrats! you ultra-left lesbo

what a blessing he is your ex

[Kath1]

18. Thank you!

Divorce can be a beautiful thing!

[gratuitous]

19. Another Facebook meme

"What other people think of you is none of your business." The gratuitous Addendum is, "Unless you think I'm fabulous. Then you're very perceptive, and very right."

[Half-Century Man]

20. Doesn't he know how to spell "Lesbian"?

It's not hard, hell you can just wing it and let spellchecker catch it.
Pure laziness

[Kath1]

22. Guess "lesbo" is less letters.

[Scootaloo]

27. Maybe he's accusing you of being an Aegean island? Is he a geography nerd?

Seriously though, good call on the ex-ing.

[Kath1]

28. LOL! Thank you!

Good call? Yes!!!!

[Fairgo]

23. Sounds like a complement to me!

I'd get the t-shirt if they made one.

[Kath1]

25. LOL! Thank you!

Made me smile!

[Jim Lane]

24. If I bothered with Facebook I would ask if I could friend you.

I'd be proud to be able to say I was friends with an ultra-left-wing lesbo.

I almost never open my Facebook account, though. We'll have to settle for friendship on DU.

[Kath1]

26. Cool!

Just glad you can relate.

DU friendship is OK.

[Kip Humphrey]

30. Nothing wrong with Ultra!

[Cha]

32. Oh Dear.. Good thing you got rid of him, Kath! And, yes "ultra" is not even your style..

[Kath1]

34. Thank you so much for your reply, Cha!

Glad of I got rid of him.

I am anti-war. I am pro-choice. Views he came to oppose.

And "ultra" is not my style at all.

Peace, sister!

[Cha]

38. I know the kind.. I hear via the grapevine that my former husband is a fox "news" truther..

has been for years. It never would have worked out.

Peace, Kath~

[Kath1]

43. Still has those Romney and "Freedom Isn't Free" stickers on his big ole truck, I hear.

Loser.

This girl has moved on!

Love the graphic!

Peace, sister!

[Aristus]

35. He's barely worth even talking about.

I'm posting simply to show my support.

Glad you kicked him to the curb...

[Kath1]

36. Thank you!

My life has been so much better since I did!

[MrWendel]

37. I'm sure he's pro lesbian...

when it comes to his secret porn stash.

[Kath1]

44. LOL!

You are probably right about that!

[DFW]

39. This reminds me why some people are better off being/having an "ex"

I haven't had that particular experience, but I think your attitude is great all the same--and that probably gives an accurate indication of what I think of HIS attitude.

As a straight man who has been happy with the same woman for the last 41 years (we met when we were 22), with two normal well-adjusted daughters, I can't say I have the slightest idea what it's like to be in your shoes, but I can still shout "you go girl!" along with everyone else.

[marew]

40. Dear One, just remember...

When people say stuff like that, it is so very much more about them than it is about you!

About 12 years ago my hubby of 32 years got a girlfriend and dumped me. I heard from her former boyfriend that, since the ex and I were doing well, she believed it was all my ex's doing! LOLOL! In the divorce he asked me to relinquish my half of a small business we owned and he would not go after my "savings." I said simply "where do I sign?" She was someone who wanted to latch onto a "rich" guy- she had no clue what "rich" meant or who was the brains behind the outfit!

Long story short- he has a bankruptcy and several foreclosures on his record- not a penny saved for retirement at age 69. He will never be able to retire! I retired in 2000 and am debt free- been to Europe a couple of times following the footsteps of my favorite composers. Want to go again but have too many critters I love who were already abandoned once- two blind dogs, two three-legged cats. etc. Regularly volunteer for literacy and critter issues.

Remember, there is a need to vilify those they have wronged- human nature at its worst. Has NOTHING to do with you!

[Kath1]

46. Love your story!

Happiness is the best revenge!

PEACE!

[Scuba]

41. Sounds like a compliment to me.

[Kath1]

48. I'll take it as a compliment.

I just think he is very vindictive and some of the more RW members of my family were piling on, too.

I don't intend to reply to any of it.

[Scuba]

49. Taking the high road is seldom a bad choice.

[Kath1]

50. Good advice.

Thank you!

[eridani]

42. Why, what a nice thing to say! Wouldn't mind at all myself

But the, back in the day, I was one of those longhair dope-smokin Avatar-readin livin-in-the-common-unwashed hippie Marxist preverts myself.

[Kath1]

45. LOL!

So was I. Stopped for 12 years of marriage. Now I'm back, better than ever!

[Skittles]

51. I cannot imagine why you would not want to be with that gem

[TheBlackAdder]

52. Just remember, it's important to move on. Those harboring hate are still attached to the other!

.


What your EX just did was indicate that they are still attached to you, having close affections still!

This is even more comical if they are seeing another person, that means they haven't moved on and aren't really into the new person they are seeing. I like to say, when this happened with my EX, "Why are you still angry at me? Isn't the new guy doing it for you?"

If they are single, they are suffering internally. This is something that will get worse as the holidays approach, and crest around Valentines day or significant anniversaries.


Stay strong and enjoy the hidden compliment they've given you!


.

[Kath1]

54. Hadn't thought about it that way.

There is probably a lot of truth in that.

I initially had the gut feeling that he is jealous.

Thank you!

[TheBlackAdder]

56. Also, just keep this in mind...

.


The anger and 'hate' that your EX is carrying is only hurting them internally. It's excess baggage.


Just keep the high road and everyone else will notice the same thing. Kath isn't doing anything wrong, she's moved on, what XXX's problem? She's not denigrating him, why's he constantly trashing her?


Believe me, this is transparent to everyone, including his own family.

After a few years, when a level of sanity spreads though his family, where they aren't buying his storyline, they will befriend you and realize that he's just being jerkish. My EX's family now invites me over for Christmas dinner, and most are now not even speaking to her, when at first the family wagons circled close by her. But, you have to maintain the high road. If you feel compelled to respond, just reply with a classic 'Nice' comment, no punctuation, just those four letters. That says it all. The best thing is, unless kids are involved, is to break off contact from their social media accounts. There is no other reason to keep those strings attached, because that indicates you are still connected to him in some manner.


Good luck!


.

[Kath1]

57. Very cool for you to post that.

Excellent advice.

Thanks, and I mean it!

[Kennah]

53. As a straight man, can I wear the ultra left lesbo label?

As a cyclist, I already get labelled queer at times. I personally never knew that cycling was dominated by gay men, but I thank them for letting me ride.

On a serious note, block but don't unfriend. They will continue to see your ULL feed on FB.

[Kath1]

55. Wear it with pride, my friend!

We are all in this life together!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

58. It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart:

the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you. Mark Twain.