The dropout

[KentuckyWoman]

An acquaintance via an online caregiver support group has posted this on her Facebook page after coming across this article.

She's in her 50's, some college but no degree, no kids, husband was blue collar with a good union but took retirement due to disability. Posted here in it's entirety with her permission but with the request to leave off names and places.

After 30 yrs in (this) industry I have decided to leave (my employer). I was with them for more than 14 years. The (redacted) family was a joy to work for at first. As time went on they began to take a lot for granted. More work added without a pay increase. When the "great recession" hit all 6 of the salary employees were told we needed to "share the sacrifice" and asked to take a 30% pay cut. Then they let a few go and added the work to the rest.

As you know for the last year 2 of us have been running the day to day operations. 70-80 hr work weeks were not uncommon - still at the same pay level we took to save the company 8 years ago. For the last year I eat and sleep work. Without much of either. My health is poorer, my marriage has suffered. I should never have made the sacrifices I did.

In the meantime the (redacted) family has pocketed millions of dollars. I know because I keep the books. Knowing they could afford to raise salaries and could afford to hire more people only compounded the frustrations and exhaustion. Listening to their endless whining about the stress of owning the business, their financial hardships yada yada. Sometimes I was really close to just gathering up my stuff and walking out without saying a word. Shake the dust from my feet and walk away. Why I hung on I don't know. I've never been a quitter.

My husband's near death in June changed everything. Oh like a good little soldier I left the hospital at 8 or 9pm and went to the office to get the work done. Returning to the hospital at 4 or 5 am, catnapping when I could and doing it all over that day.....for 2 weeks. Shockingly, I didn't faint away, have a car accident or screw up much of anything. And yet all the (redacted) family did was complain - mostly via rude emails that were mostly knee jerk reactions to something when it turned out they ran the reports wrong or pulled the wrong files and had the wrong facts to begin with

Within 2 weeks he was home and his best friend was here to help out so I could work. Male bonding... oh joy. However, it was not possible to give them 80 hrs a week of my time. They got the entire 40 hrs my salary paid for the whole time but extra just could not be done. What followed at work can only be described as hostile. I quickly figured out the owner's son had been logging in to my computer under my login making GL entries...... wrong. Calling attention to the mistakes with the notation of how it was corrected brought a fresh crop of constant negative pecking.


In the middle of July the owner told me my work was so bad she thought I didn't care about my job anymore. I asked her please to show me the mistakes as I'd like the chance to correct them but she couldn't seem to come up with anything. It was a horrible conversation. Horrible.

That night I really did not sleep. I knew I needed to quit but we need my income. Luckily we don't need my health insurance. Still, why would I leave my husband to go be abused by selfish greedy rich people who get all bent out of shape only because they can't take 80 hrs from me for such paltry pay anymore? It's not worth the stress. So I walked in the next day and with all the diplomacy I could muster, quit my job. Fully laying the reason on caregiving requirements.

I have been out of work for 3 months and I'm still suffering some sort of PTSD from the last year of working so hard. Constantly I feel like I should be doing something other than what I'm doing. I should be parked in that chair at (this) company. Still trying to figure out how to just be a human being again. The scars are deep.

The reason I am writing this is because I did care about my job. I actually liked my job. I wanted more money, of course, and more help so there were more reasonable demands on my time to get the job done, but the job itself I loved. I was good at it and still angry I had to quit.

The owner called me this week to ask if I knew anyone with the kind of knowledge I had. I felt so sorry for her. No one with the experience and knowledge of 30 years in that industry is going to work for that salary. I'd certainly never send anyone I care about to her. Couldn't tell her that, but it would not matter if I did. It wouldn't even sink in her brain.

Today the other person who has been there a long time called and said she has been let go and their kids are doing the work. The screw up son and the daughter who really really does not want anything to do with the business. I give them 6 months tops. The business will fail.

It didn't have to be like this. These people had the money and the business to keep their talent and expand on it. Instead they got greedy and selfish. They are the 1%.

To the younger crowd who reads this, I really want you to think about what you give your employer in exchange for your wage. Set your boundaries and stick to them. Personal sacrifice made for an employer will not earn you more money. It's not worth it.

I have officially dropped out. I won't work for a company again full time. When I need income I'll work retail or food service or temporary office work or maybe even finally get that 2nd hand furniture store I've been dreaming about all my live up and running. Whatever else the rat race will have to survive with one less rat.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

1. There's nothing to add.

She highlights the reason so many businesses will fail. I've seen this too. My housemate now does the work that six employees used to do in the past, struggling to keep up between overwork and chronic illnesses.

[KentuckyWoman]

2. It's an epidemic in American business.

There's a mass exodus of older workers leaving well before they are ready to retire. Companies long ago decided hourly workers are nothing but costs on a balance sheet and stopped being worthy of any human considerations. Now it comes to salary workers too. It's one thing to have labor be a cost item on a balance sheet but quite another for the elite to look at workers as nothing but cost items rather than an investment in the expansion of the business.

Younger boomers are saying "take this job and put it where the sun don't shine" rather than be abused. The knowledge base goes with them.

[zeemike]

3. Greed is a addictive illness.

It can never be satisfied. And human concerns will always take a back seat to the need for the next fix.

[malaise]

4. Here's the difference

The owner called me this week to ask if I knew anyone with the kind of knowledge I had. I felt so sorry for her. No one with the experience and knowledge of 30 years in that industry is going to work for that salary. I'd certainly never send anyone I care about to her. Couldn't tell her that, but it would not matter if I did. It wouldn't even sink in her brain.

I would have told them everything they didn't want to hear. I would not have spared the owner a single thought. Indeed I would have written it a in the resignation letter.

[LiberalElite]

9. Yes.

I would not have been so kind as this person. I'd lay it alllll out for them. Nothing to lose, why not?

[marym625]

5. I can relate to this in a way I can't share

It's common and it's horrible, life sucking, bullshit.

I hope your friend us ok.

[NBachers]

7. x

[rosesaylavee]

6. With a change in some details

this was quite similar to my work history ... except I prolonged it by going to work for another terrible company (non-profit in fact!) after my initial horrible/bullying experience -- but am finally turning it around with hope in my future, doing work I like to do with more of that on the way. That's the quick short version.

Good for her and there is hope for her recovering from this! I still startle at people running up or down stairs as that was the precursor to one of my bosses coming to yell at me about something that wasn't my fault but soon to be my responsibility to fix.

[lark]

8. I applaud your courage!!!

It takes gumption to jump off the cliff, but you did it! You are no longer their wage SLAVE. I'm sure tons of us recognize this story of the 1% greed, it's sadly not uncommon at all in this backwards country. I know I'm one of the lucky ones. I was a slave too, working 70-80 hours a week. However, I was paid quite well back then. My boss got jealous because i made more than her, even though I worked 80 hrs./wk. and she worked 30. She cut my pay by 20%, while my daughter was in college and we were paying for that. She said I shouldn't work so many hours, but when I brought up ideas to streamline my responsibilities, she would never approve them, and still wanted the same output. Some of the work I was doing had real value, like personally ensuring that all patient complaints and billing issues were resolved, but it was stuff none of the other managers did. I was basically making sure that my peers did their jobs. I quit doing this 3 years ago and to date not once has this been noticed. I was previously holding myself to much higher standards for myself than the company did. I had to change the way I looked at things and what I expected from myself. In my case, I drove myself all the extra hours, I just had to lower my self-expectations from super-woman to good manager - not perfect, but good is OK. I still work 50+ hours a week, but that's way better than 80. I now work out with a trainer 2x week and take the dog on long walks 2x week. The company is doing OK, not great, but I'm doing much better. I still have a total jerk for a boss and am now trying to once again lower my standards and not push improvements. I will raise issues, but when I get pushback from our incompetent IT Dept., I won't fight for the changes anymore. It's really difficult because I want things to be better, but if the company doesn't care I can't do it all by myself.

I wish I had come to this place earlier, I could have spent more time with my mom when it really would have meant so much to her.
I hope others can change their lives while their loved ones are with them and not face this regret later.

[Jesus Malverde]

10. Great post

Heartfelt thanks

[Enthusiast]

11. This is an all too familiar story.

[StatGirl]

12. I can relate to this so much . . .

. . . and my situation wasn't nearly as bad as hers. But I had to quit a job that suited me and that I used to love because it didn't occur to anyone that when business is up, people actually need to do the work. And not just any random person, but people who have relevant skills.

And why should they realize this? In my line of work, all the recognition, rewards, and promotions go to the people who bring in the money, and none to the people who create the product.

There's an interesting post on "Ask a Manager" this week about the "straw that broke the camel's back" and caused people to quit, and there are a lot of stories like this. (It's at www.askamanager.org, and I have no connection to the company or the owner; I just enjoy the letters and commentary.)

Hey, American management -- there's a lot of work that needs to be done! How about hiring people to do it and treating them like human beings? Your company or institution will prosper, and so will your country.