Young Woman Tired Of Being Judged For Her Good Looks

[snooper2]

A young New Yorker says that life is hard for her because she is so good-looking.

In an article for Cosmopolitan, Felicia Czochanski wrote that she has received too much attention for her looks and not enough for her personality or accomplishments.

In the essay, published Friday, the 20-year-old Fordham University student lamented that people only pay attention to her "blonde hair, big hazel eyes, 34DDs, and toned calves," but they never notice her intelligence.

"Coming to terms with being perceived as 'beautiful' wasn't easy," she wrote. "It soon became how people knew me. People seemed to forget or simply ignore my accomplishments."

The young blogger and aspiring magazine editor said that strangers stare at her constantly.


?itok=vAm4nJp6

kinda cute there Felicia but methinks you need to get over yourself you ain't no Sandra Bullock



Oh, best comment below the article-

You can't blame her for being upset. Some people are attracted to her because of how she looks rather than appreciating her humility.

[WinkyDink]

1. Given her description, I doubt men are looking at her hair, eyes, or even legs.

[TheBlackAdder]

71. Dark Eyebrows, Blonde Hair... Ew! nt

[Skittles]

76. she clearly has brown hair

not sure why she thinks she is blonde

[WinkyDink]

88. I was referring to the two parts I omitted. Heh.

[Orrex]

2. God help you if you are an ugly girl / course too pretty is also your doom

[closeupready]

3. Okay, but honey, you ain't no Melania Trump.

IMHO, of course. And if SHE had to marry for money, don't worry, you'll have even bigger challenges ahead of you on which you can be judged for your competence, intelligence, and judgment, so cheer up.

[Contrary1]

17. Average looking in my opinion

[closeupready]

18. Hehe, is that her? File under God's "Oops, sorry, this is all I have left" file.

The kind of female about which I once had a boyfriend who'd say, "I don't get it. I guess you gotta be straight..."

[woolldog]

41. maybe she doesn't photograph well?

you can go to any college campus and see lots of women more attractive than her.

[TheBlackAdder]

72. Wow! She really has a distorted perception of herself.

.


411: When bleaching one's hair, also do the eyebrows.


.

[DetlefK]

86. You should go out more. You forgot what an average woman looks like.

1. What we see in the media isn't what an average woman looks like. Those are pretty women, which are then hyped as ordinary women. "If you are uglier than this average woman, you need our cosmetics/fashion."

2. We only remember outstanding, pretty or horrible things. Bland women simply fail to catch our eye and we don't really register them.

Break that mental barrier and actively look at the face of each woman you encounter. You will realize that very, very few look like the women you see in the media.

In my opinion, the girl in the image above is aesthetically prettier than average.

[Contrary1]

96. As you said, it's your opinion.

Average is in the eye of the beholder.

[WinkyDink]

89. Melania has face-lift squint-eyes.

[closeupready]

93. But a body of death, and

I'm not even into that gender.

[NightWatcher]

4. It's a burden some of us must bear

[lunatica]

5. I'd say learn to deal with it

Like everyone else who gets judged for something they can't help.

Or shave your head, stop plucking your eyebrows, wear really thick nerd glasses held together with tape and blacken one of your front teeth.

[Warren DeMontague]

13. Those are grease pencil eyebrows, I think.

[Warren DeMontague]

6. When I want less attention, I write an article for Cosmo, too.

Please! Please! Just leave me alone, already, okay?

Pretend I'm not here. No, over here, actually. Can you get the light behind me? It looks better, for those pictures where Im asking people to please not look at me.

[liberal N proud]

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

So maybe she shouldn't behold herself so much.

What one calls good looks, another might find not so much.

[ryan_cats]

8. What a terrible burden. n/t

[Warren DeMontague]

9. I predict she'll get her wish- now people will judge her for something other than her appearance.

Mission Accomplished!

[geek tragedy]

10. who the hell describes themselves as having "toned calves?" nt

[Warren DeMontague]

11. Me. My calves are nothing short of exquisite.

It's a burden, see.

[closeupready]

19. lol

You poor thing! At least you don't have to deal with the unsightly bulges some of us do!

[Warren DeMontague]

20. How do you know?

[Dr. Strange]

60. Oh my God! "To Serve Man"...

It's a tennis manual!

[Warren DeMontague]

63. that explains my sore elbow

OR DOES IT

[LisaL]

23. It's very important to give a detailed description of all your assets.

So people understand just what exactly these men are looking at.

[vankuria]

61. Yes and giving out your bra size

to a national magazine will surly get you less attention. Poor girl, having the terrible burden of being way too good looking! Too bad she wasn't born ugly or have a weight problem, those girls have it so good!

[Codeine]

53. I have AMAZING calves.

Total strangers comment on my calves. It's odd but there it is.

[hunter]

12. I thought for sure this would be an Onion article.

[Warren DeMontague]

15. It's those fuckin' Millennials. I never know when they're putting me on.

[Contrary1]

14. The Palin Syndrome:

Yoohoo! I'm over here!!! But keep all those mean media people from looking at me.

[pnwmom]

16. Well, she could stop plucking her eyebrows and skip the eye makeup.

But she would still be a pretty girl.

Obviously, though, she is putting some attention to making the best of what she has. Like most people. So this piece seems a bit attention-seeking.

[struggle4progress]

21. I know exactly what she means! It's, like, when I say to random women on the street,

Heeey, bay-beee! Why don't you come over to my place, and I'll take off all my clothes, so you can wash and iron them while you and I talk about vector calculus! and then they're just not interested because they're not into brainy guys

[Orrex]

22. I suspect that this is a social experiment, to see if she's attacked

either for her perceived vanity or else as a perceived fair-game target for sexist diatribes.


Hmm...

[PJMcK]

35. Narcissism

I think you've hit on something, Orrex. On the other hand, she's clearly got quite an opinion of herself. In my business I often deal with millennials and other younger people and many of them are overly impressed with themselves. Since I work with tremendously successful people, I often scratch my head when i see the narcissism that too many people of the recent generations are infected with. Is this possibly the result of "helicopter parenting" where everyone gets a trophy or a prize and are told repeatedly how wonderful they are? Or is it because their education has been so damaged by Republican attempts to destroy our public schools?

This young lady is clearly attractive and articulate and may one day be an excellent writer or editor. But at 20 years old, her accomplishments are most likely limited so I'd be more interested in a column about them than about her looks.

[Orrex]

40. Lots of interesting points there

She may well be a narcissist as you understandably describe, but my cynicism still makes me feel as though it's a pose to demonstrate a point, like performance art.

Of course, a quick sweep of this very thread reveals people tripping over themselves in their eagerness to tell her how average and unremarkable she is.

Funny how that works...

[Marr]

51. But what would that prove? That's a natural response to someone of pretty average looks who claims

they're so beautiful it's debilitating. I expect a man would get a similar reaction, and just about any age group.

[Orrex]

59. It's predictable and petty, whether the target is male or female

If a conventionally attractive person comments on his or her own attractiveness, then we can expect a barrage of "you ain't all that" posts, as we've seen here.

If an unconventionally attractive person declares him or herself attractive, then we can expect a warm outpouring of "good for you" and "this is true beauty" posts. Check out today's thread about the overweight mom who bravely subjected herself to public scrutiny, only to be wonderfully surprised at the result.

This isn't simply a matter of thinking that conventionally attractive people are unremarkable; if that were the case, we could expect these threads to sink without a trace. Instead, we see a conspicuous (and predictable) eagerness to set this young woman straight and tell her how attractive she really isn't.

If a similar thread attacked the overweight mom, we'd predictably see dozens of alerts and condemnations about fat-shaming and all the rest.


It's clear that body-positive attitudes are far more acceptable for some bodies than for others.

[Marr]

62. Ah, I see what you mean.

Yeah, that is an interesting disparity. Hmm.

[ProfessorGAC]

95. Actually Orrex, I Have Personal Experience. . .

. . .with a niece who excused having no friends, only a boyfriend and her reason was always the other girls hated her because she was so beautiful. That was pure narcissism and it led to her committing suicide when her life didn't turn out as perfect as she thought she deserved.

[smirkymonkey]

47. It's the selfie generation.

I see some of the photos these people put up and I would be embarrassed to vogue and pose like that and to post photos of myself all over the place. In fact, I have never taken a selfie. I hate having my picture taken (and I am someone who is frequently complimented for my looks, but really can't stand to look in a mirror).

She's cute, but not all that. I really see that with a lot of younger people these days. They vastly overrate themselves. Not just in the looks department, but in every way. They are very entitled. I think a lot of these people are in for a rude awakening after they go through years of having their illusions shattered by reality.

[Skittles]

80. what is up with that lip pose in a lot of selfies

reminds me of Wanda on In Living Color


I would not want to be the Selfie Generation

[smirkymonkey]

92. LOL! Totally!

I believe it's called the "Duckface".

[Marr]

50. Social media. Everyone thinks they're a star. /nt

[LittleBlue]

24. She wouldn't even be the prettiest girl at the club

Let alone among the prettiest in New York.

In a city brimming with thousands of models, she wouldn't beat many of them.

[NV Whino]

25. Well, based on those photos, I hope she has something else going for her.

[Control-Z]

26. That must have taken a lot of courage.

More than I've ever had. Good luck to her.

[Iggo]

27. Perfect way to get people to tear you down based on your looks.

Nice going, kiddo.

[DonCoquixote]

28. Actually

I do think there are actresses and even ac tors that suffer because they are looked at as being "pretty" rather than for their acting talent.

Cherlize Theron stole the show from pacino in Devil's Advocate, and uglied herself up to play Aileen Wuornos in Monster.
Brad Pitt was thought of as a pretty boy till 12 monkeys and fight club.
Uma Thurman cannot catch a break because people make her the Pretty blonde" save Tarentino.
Leonardo Dicaprio also has to ugly himself up for The departed.

Now of all these folks are great actors and actresses, capable of playing dynamic, even psychotic roles, but most peopl;e hire them for eye candy.

[tkmorris]

29. Give her a break

Her comments were probably ill-advised, but I do NOT envy any female that has to deal with the fact that 90% of the men she meets are plotting some way to have sex with her. It's a bit like hitting the lottery for a few million bucks. It's pretty terrific, but fielding all the calls from old acquaintances and distant relatives who want a piece of it gets old fast.

[vankuria]

64. Us average girls

can also have the same problem, if memory serves me right...in my single days lotsa horny guys out there and trying to weed out the bad ones who have a one track mind and those that might have an interest in something besides sex.

She won't get any sympathy from me.

[notadmblnd]

67. But you see, they're not

because a large number of men (and by that I mean the average joe) are intimidated by beautiful women and won't approach them.

[treestar]

94. Yes, I can kind of see her point

How to be taken seriously in your field, or for your accomplishments. Or find a man who really likes her, not her arm candy status. It could be tough to week that out from so much attention. If you're average, and you have a man, you know he really likes you for you (or at least, there is a better chance of it).

[Logical]

30. "I try to appear really pretty and am insulted people notice I am pretty" nt

[Rex]

31. Hmmm...I must be a bad person, she looks just as ordinary as anyone else I've ever seen.

I am so sorry for her to have such popularity thrown at her in a way she doesn't want it. That must be a real hassle daily.

[taught_me_patience]

32. life sucks then you die

[mercuryblues]

33. I want to be respected for who I am

We should get something straight here. I don't find my "attractiveness" so magnetic that it should cause men to stop what they are doing and be compelled to whistle, catcall, or tell their friends to turn and look at me. I am just a young woman trying to get where I need to be. I'm not bragging that people comment on my appearance; in fact, I despise that anyone thinks this type of behavior is acceptable.

<snip>

"I demand to be respected, both my body and my mind, because believe it or not, there's more to me than just my looks,"
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a45917/people-judge-me-because-im-pretty/

It always makes me suspicious when people post an article about an article someone else wrote. The snips in this OP give the exact opposite impression than what she wrote in her article. It focused a lot on street harassment and how it makes her feel.

But eh, as long as a few select quotes can be taken out of context and used to mock her; have fun. Because you know in a round-about way it proves her point. Because of her looks, why should be taken seriously? She couldn't possibly have something to say.

[vankuria]

65. Alot of us got catcalls

even us average girls. I can think of a lot worse things young women go through.

[WI_DEM]

34. Hate to tell her this, but she is OK looking, but I don't think drop dead gorgeous.

[lumberjack_jeff]

36. Some of us have to buy expensive cars to become attractive. n/t

[Skittles]

75. aw, it shines through once again

you seem unable to suppress it

[lumberjack_jeff]

77. Armor-all and turtle wax, baby.

High gloss, all the way.

[Skittles]

78. I am not your baby

save that for the poor unfortunates in real life

[lumberjack_jeff]

79. It's the chrome.

People can't resist coming close, even if only to tell me how much they disapprove.

[randome]

37. It's all in how you comport yourself. Confidence and intelligence will win out.

That works both ways, whether you think you're good looking or not.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]TECT in the name of the Representative approves of this post.[/center][/font][hr]

[Fumesucker]

82. Confidence and intelligence are often at least somewhat mutually exclusive

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." - Bertrand Russell

[Boudica the Lyoness]

38. I was in the same boat as her

So to stop it I got old... then I found out people don't care what you have to say when you are old and shit.

[RebelOne]

39. Same here.

When I was younger. I always said that I would start to worry when the men stopped looking at me. But now that I am 76 years old, the men stopped looking a long time now, so I don't worry any more because my good looks are gone.

[steve2470]

42. 20 years old ? She will regret this essay soon enough

Youth has its advantages, but lacks wisdom.

[Bucky]

43. I judge her pretty harshly for being 20 years old

[Vinca]

44. She's a very pretty young woman, but I don't think that's a rarity in the city.

Get over yourself, girl. It's not going to last forever.

[restorefreedom]

45. well someone seems to have a high opinion of herself

she is fine looking. but maybe quit the navelgazing and invest her energy into something meaningful,. If she stops focusing on her appearance chances are most other people will too.

[Snobblevitch]

46. I wonder if she an only child and from a family with wealth.

I used to know a few girls like that who were spoiled rotten.

[bluedigger]

48. It's not like I ever read Cosmo for the articles...

Not much seems to have changed.

[Marr]

49. Wait-- this isn't a joke?

Um... ok, supermodel. lol

[jmowreader]

58. Okay looking. No taste in makeup.

Blue eyeshadow and fuchsia lips? Honey, that shit went out in the Sixties.

[cilla4progress]

52. I don't think we should be so kneejerk facetious about this.

I find that I sometimes when I meet or see attractive people, I assume that's how they attained whatever status they have. In fact, sometimes it's the truth.

[Codeine]

54. Eyebrows not even vaguely on point.

Gorgeous beyond that, but who cares?

[notadmblnd]

55. she's cute, but she is not drop dead, can't take my eyes off of her- gorgeous

But she shouldn't worry, if her head gets any bigger people will mistake her for an extraterrestrial. Then there will really be reason to stare.

Bu if it really is such a burden, there are a few quick, fairly inexpensive fixes. It's what a lot of us too beautiful women do.

Hair dye fairly cheap.
colored contacts still affordable
boob reduction- a little costly, but I feel certain people would donate if she started a go fund me page pleading her plight
and finally cover your legs with baggy clothes and socks.

I guarantee, people will no longer stare

I'm too sexy for my love
Too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me

I'm too sexy for my shirt
Too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts

And I'm too sexy for Milan
Too sexy for Milan
New York, and Japan

I'm too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing.......

I'm too sexy for my cat
Too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy
Poor pussy cat
I'm too sexy for my love
Too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me

And I'm too sexy for this song

[AngryAmish]

56. It gets better, in about 9 years.

Patience.

[Glorfindel]

57. Well, that's easily remedied...

[Egnever]

66. Nothing wrong with that

Having said that her good looks also open doors for her that others wont have opened so easily. It is a mixed bag IMHO.

[Skittles]

68. that is not blonde

and she does not look exceptional to me

[Ms. Toad]

69. It's not because you're pretty - it's because you are female and breathing.

I'm not even sure the second is a requirement.

The article talks mainly about the kind of street harassment pretty much every woman receives - which is part of rape culture - aggression intended to make sure women know their places - always passed off. when called on it as a friendly compliment. Sounds like she bought the line.

[Arugula Latte]

74. Yep. Almost every women can rattle off several stories of being harassed ... and worse.

[Taitertots]

70. Accomplishments? She's not Marie Curie.

This has to be parody.

[Heeeeers Johnny]

73. But, she has huuuuge...

tracts of land!

I think what she's missing here is that she's not that extraordinarily beautiful, hot or desirable as she think she is;
it's more like a lot of men will eye rape anything with tits and a twat; especially in someplace like NYC where she'd
rate as average at best.

IIRC, didn't some NYC film crew document the harassment of one woman's experience living in the city?

[Uncle Joe]

81. I don't doubt that's it's a very real problem for some women.

It may not seem like one to many people and it may not be the worst situation that one can be born with but I have no doubt the feelings and experiences are real.

Thanks for the thread, snooper.

[betsuni]

83. This is just like Samantha Brick's clickbait in the Daily Mail a few years ago.

"'There are downsides to looking this pretty': Why women hate me for being beautiful."

[fadedrose]

84. Her problem will be solved by time

Even the average looking of us loses our looks in time, sickness, accidents, and just plain wear and tear.

Veins, wrinkles, gray hair, and a medicine cabinet full of junk will make her regret her complaining about people looking at her for her looks instead of her brains, and in time the brains get rusty too.

[MrScorpio]

85. So, the lesson here is that we're all living in an overwhelmingly shallow world...

This isn't exactly a secret, is it?

[steve2470]

91. shallow and...

not extraordinarily kind. For God's sakes, people, this woman is 20 years old. She meant well with this essay, but I'm fairly confident she did not anticipate the reactions she would get. Unspoken Rule #3492 for men and women: Even if you're drop-dead handsome/gorgeous, do not EVER say that out loud or in print unless you're with a very close friend or family member. I think she's learned that rule now, or she will very soon.

[leftyladyfrommo]

87. She needs to spend a couple of days

in an ugly woman's shoes. Same for ugly men. They never even get a chance. Talk about unfair.

[GOLGO 13]

90. She's a 4 maybe a 5

I minus her a point for being a drama queen/personality disorder/over sized ego. Anyone that complains about being "too beautiful" & not being appreciated for her...accomplishments?

Check yourself honey, NYC is PACKED with gorgeous girls with way less 'tude.

[MineralMan]

97. She's not really all that, but that's OK.

I wish her the best of luck.