81-y-o CT man arrested for sex with a SHRUBBERY.

[grasswire]

From radio WINY

FROM THE NEWSROOM: STRATFORD, Conn. (AP) — An 81-year-old Stratford man has been charged with public indecency, accused of performing a sex act with some shrubbery.

Police tell the Connecticut Post they arrested Wallace Berg Monday after a neighbor showed them a video he took of a naked Berg in the bushes outside Berg's home.

Police say the neighbor told them he confronted Berg who then stopped the indecent behavior, covered himself with a grill cover, apologized and went into his house.

Berg was charged with public indecency and second-degree breach of peace. He was released after posting a $10,000 bond and is due in Superior Court on Aug. 5.

He did not immediately return a phone call Wednesday from the Associated Press seeking comment.
...............

No pictures, thankfully!

[daleanime]

5. Beat me to it....

[Zorra]

11. me, too

[quizzle]

27. now he must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest wiiiiiiiiiiiith

&feature=player_detailpage

[hifiguy]

40. What is a herring, Alex?

The old coot must be a retired knight of the Order.

[msanthrope]

65. I laughed until I had to go pee......nt

[Petrushka]

79. No! Please! Not the mightiest tree in the forest! I protest!

http://www.berkeleyside.com/2015/07/18/in-berkeley-protesters-strip-naked-to-try-to-save-trees/comment-page-3/

[LittleBlue]

50. Ha!

First reply too.

[WinkyDink]

85. First thing that occurred to me! :-)

[PoliticAverse]

2. Ni means ni. n/t

[grasswire]

31. DUZY

Clever, clever!

[Monk06]

42. Damn I so wanted to quote the Knights who say Ni ! You snooze you lose.

[kentauros]

64. You could still quote from Roger the Shrubber.

No one else has mentioned him but I

[Monk06]

73. I struck gold on post #43

[kentauros]

74. Roger that, you did!

[nolabear]

66. Bwah!!

[Initech]

68. Drop the mic. /thread

[NightWatcher]

4. He likes a big bush apparently

[daleanime]

9. It's not the size of the bush.....

it's where you plant it.

[IcyPeas]

6. someone's gotta do this too:

[URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]

[fadedrose]

61. LOLOLOL LOL LOLL LOL

[LeftishBrit]

7. I hope this doesn't result in more Bushes coming into existence!

[PoliticAverse]

10. To quote Jesse Jackson...

"Stay out the Bushes".

[lpbk2713]

8. Not until later did he realize it was poison ivy.

Nah. Not really.

[jberryhill]

13. I swear, honey, I got it from the yard

[jberryhill]

12. That song was weird at the time

[Warpy]

14. Why do these loons always get naked?

If I remember the "raping the umbrella hole in the family picnic table" story, he was nekkid. Also the guy caught pleasuring pumpkins out in somebody else's field.

[jberryhill]

15. Okay, I'm stumped

How, exactly, does one pleasure a pumpkin?

[Warpy]

16. Through a hole cut into it.

Sheesh, I have to tell you people everything.

[jberryhill]

17. But how is that pleasurable for the pumpkin?

[LiberalAndProud]

21. You misunderstand. This is aliteration, not literal.

Can you not appreciate poetry when you read it? Ballads should be written about pumpkin pleasure.

[pinboy3niner]

26. Depends on whose stalks is gourd

[msanthrope]

67. Be careful, you wouldn't want to squash anything. nt

[Arugula Latte]

77. I'd butternut say anything about this.

[pinboy3niner]

86. Vine with me.

[JEB]

94. Stumped, you say.

[abakan]

18. "Couldn't help my self, officer"

"That shrub was coming on to me."

[BainsBane]

20. She was a big trees.

[abakan]

28. At his age he has to strike whenever he gets the feeling, at whatever is close to him. nt

[olddots]

22. probably a relative of mine

[pinboy3niner]

75. Aha! I thought I recognized you...

Florida man declares himself to be God, has sex with a tree
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=6519329

[Nye Bevan]

23. Not acceptable. Even if the shrubbery was drunk and wearing a short skirt (nt)

[pinboy3niner]

24. Or if it was potted. nt

[bluedigger]

25. Was that wrong?

Because, as God is my Witness, if I had known...yada, yada, yada...

[HFRN]

55. it's not a lie....if *you* believe it nt

[restorefreedom]

95. was that wrong?

Should I have not done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, ‘cause I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.

[pinboy3niner]

97. Don't ask us. You have to make your own deciduous. nt

[restorefreedom]

98. i think even george costanza

would have skipped the shrubbery.

howard wolowitz, on the other hand......

[Freddie]

29. But did the plant consent?

[dembotoz]

30. did he need a blue pill???? 81 and greenery gets him going

gotta admit i admire his imagination

Wonder if he writes for syfy network

just doing research new movie
Evergreen, ever sexy

[notadmblnd]

52. I was thinking maybe he was confused by those commercials

You know the one... where the girls are standing with razors and trimmed (into different shapes) bushes are covering their crotch areas

[grasswire]

70. huh????

I'm very glad I have missed those ads.

[pinboy3niner]

32. Gives a whole new meaning to "beating around the bush"

[dixiegrrrrl]

37. ewwwwwwwww

and

eecchhhhhhhh

but good pun.

[Princess Turandot]

72. not to mention 'wee whacking'...nt

[B Calm]

33. Sounds like another Florida story, but

it's Conn.

[Owl]

34. How? What? Ugh.

[Owl]

35. I kinda would like to see the picture of the bozo with the grill cover.

[Cali_Democrat]

36. Not in Florida?

[Buns_of_Fire]

41. Florida Man has close relatives in EVERY state.

They're a very fertile family, they are.

[daleanime]

59. Planted their seed far and wide....

[moonandsixpence.]

38. So the man wanted some bush.

So sue him!

[Jack-o-Lantern]

39. In all seriousness the poor man may be suffering from dementia and should not be arrested but sent

for treatment or guardianship.

[MineralMan]

44. Yes, probably. This thread is sad.

That was my first thought, too. Poor old guy.

[niyad]

53. thank you!!! exactly what I was going to post.

[Monk06]

43. The shrubbery was just asking for it.

[PatrickforO]

51. LOL.

Man, that pic doesn't even need a caption! The look on this guy's face says it ALL.

[fadedrose]

63. hahahhahh hhhahaa hhahha

[NuclearDem]

83. Some guys are just really into bush...

[malokvale77]

45. Some people need to mind their own business.

$10,000 bond? Who the hell was hurt so grievously?

[jmowreader]

46. That poor bush is gonna be traumatized for life

[malokvale77]

47. Did anybody bother to ask the bush?

It might have enjoyed it.

[KamaAina]

48. Push, push, in the bush!

Push, push, in the bush!

[Arugula Latte]

90. Oh my gawd ...

[Adrahil]

92. You win. I bow down to you! nt

[KamaAina]

49. Former Stratford resident here

I would strongly suspect my old boss, except a) he's well under 80, and b) he moved to nearby Trumbull a few years ago.

[Agnosticsherbet]

54. This comes from watching too much Monty Python.

[HFRN]

56. I've heard the shrub was trimmed provacatively

and had been known to be solicitous with bees and hummingbirds

[fadedrose]

62. HHHAA HA Ha haaaa haaaa

[Historic NY]

57. Isn't that call Beating the Bush.

[jberryhill]

58. He's been listening to RW nonsense about marriage equality

O'Reilly will have him on next week claiming he wants to marry it.

[fadedrose]

60. Gees, 81 years old....leave 'im alone

Maybe it reminds him of a long dead loved wife (or girlfriend, or boyfriend, who knows...)

Maybe it was a dogwood , or a bear-y bush, good it wasn't a cherry tree; he could have hurt himself....

[Initech]

69. Talk about a thorn in your side!

[betsuni]

71. Only a little bushwanking, leaf him alone.

[oasis]

76. Shrubbery's actually a comedown. Sexperts say it's anti-climactic after

"Romancing the Stone".

[Zorra]

78. Yep. Bush still sucks. nt

[SummerSnow]

80. This was a prickly situation

[pinboy3niner]

81. His best shot is to plead topiary insanity

He might just get off.

[grasswire]

87. you are a naughty, naughty punster

ten stars for you!!

[NuclearDem]

82. Sir, sir, put down the herring!

[raccoon]

84. The man must have dementia. nt

[hunter]

99. Dementia and testosterone are a toxic mix.

"Dirty Old Man" is sometimes an actual medical condition.

[Blue_Adept]

88. A $10,000 bond?!

WTF?

That's just nuts, no matter if he was 21, 41 or 81. But even more so that he's 81. The whole thing is where we lost our way in a sense, where it used to be cops would kind of just have a talk with you and shit would stop.

Now, it's big fines, big bonds and making sure the town keeps raking in the cash.

[G_j]

89. agreed

insanity all aroud

[Tommy_Carcetti]

91. Not Florida Man strikes again!

Thanks for all the Monty Python references, though.

[pinboy3niner]

93. Poor guy misheard the lecture and decided to try that new-fangled Orgasmic Gardening

[randome]

96. Everyone, just leaf him alone.

Guy was sporting some wood and had to do something with it so he junipered the nearest thing.

Conifer to my place some time and I'll show you how it's done.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]Treat your body like a machine. Your mind like a castle.[/center][/font][hr]