The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, a/k/a The Code of the One Percent.

[hifiguy]

1 "Once you have their money, you never give it back." "The Nagus" (DS9 episode)

2 "The best deal is the one that makes the most profit." The 34th Rule (DS9 novel)

3 "Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to." "The Maquis, Part II" (DS9 episode)

4 "A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen." The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 novel)

5 "Always exaggerate your estimates." Cold Fusion (SCE novel)

6 "Never let family stand in the way of opportunity." "The Nagus" (DS9 episode)

7 "Always keep your ears open." "In the Hands of the Prophets" (DS9 episode)

8 "Small print leads to large risk." The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 novel)

9 "Instinct, plus opportunity, equals profit." "The Storyteller" (DS9 episode)

10 "Greed is eternal." "Prophet Motive" (VOY episode)

11 "Even if it's free, you can always buy it cheaper." The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 novel)

12 "Anything worth selling is worth selling twice." The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 novel)

13 "Anything worth doing is worth doing for money." Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel)

15 "Dead men close no deals." Demons of Air and Darkness (DS9 novel)

16 "A deal is a deal (is a deal)...until a better one comes along." The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 novel)

17 "A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi." "Body Parts" (DS9 episode)

18 "A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all." "Heart of Stone" (DS9 episode)

19 "Satisfaction is not guaranteed." Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel)

20 "He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow." Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed (DS9 novella)

21 "Never place friendship before profit." "Rules of Acquisition" (DS9 episode)

22 "Wise men can hear profit in the wind." "Rules of Acquisition" (DS9 episode)

23 "Nothing is more important than your health...except for your money." "Acquisition" (ENT episode)

27 "There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman." Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel)

29 "What's in it for me?" Highest Score (DS9 novel)

30 "A wise man knows that confidentiality equals profit." The Badlands, Part IV (DS9 novel)

31 "Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother." "The Siege" (DS9 episode)

32 "Insult something he cares about." "Elite Force II"

33 "It never hurts to suck up to the boss." "Rules of Acquisition" (DS9 episode)

34 "War is good for business." "Destiny" (DS9 episode); The 34th Rule (DS9 novel)

35 "Peace is good for business." "Destiny" (DS9 episode); The 34th Rule (DS9 novel)

37 "The early investor reaps the most interest." ST novella: Reservoir Ferengi

40 "She can touch your lobes but never your latinum." The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 novel)

41 "Profit is its own reward." The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 novel)

43 "Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it." The Buried Age (TNG novel)

44 "Never confuse wisdom with luck." The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 novel)

45 "Expand or die.*" "Acquisition" (ENT episode)

47 "Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own." "Rivals" (DS9 episode)

48 "The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife." "Rules of Acquisition" (DS9 episode)

52 "Never ask when you can take." The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 novel)

53 "Never trust anybody taller than you." Mission Gamma: Twilight (DS9 novel)

54 "Rate divided by time equals profit." (Also known as "The Velocity of Wealth.&quot Raise the Dawn (Typhon Pact novel)

55 "Take joy from profit, and profit from joy." Worlds of Deep Space Nine: Bajor: Fragments and Omens (DS9 novel)

57 "Good customers are almost as rare as latinum...treasure them." "Armageddon Game" (DS9 episode)

58 "There is no substitute for success." The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 novel)

59 "Free advice is seldom cheap." "Rules of Acquisition" (DS9 episode)

60 "Keep your lies consistent." The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 novel)

_______________

Was this all copied word for word out of Milton Friedman?

More at http://memory-beta.wikia.com/wiki/Ferengi_Rules_of_Acquisition#The_Known_Ferengi_Rules_of_Acquisition

[olddots]

1. don't laugh I bet alot of the greedy woshipped the Ferengi

Old Milty even looks like one .

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Isn't that the GOP platform?

[fizzgig]

13. you had the best words ever on the subject last year

i just memed them. glad i could still find it

[kjones]

3. I'm actually working my way through DS9 right now on netflix

Quark's not all that bad a guy, he comes around...eventually...sorta.

TNG was great (I mean, come on, Picard) but DS9 is nice that it always
seemed to give a little more character depth to the different groups,
instead of being complete caricatures. Even a Ferengi has things that
matter more than profit. That might be something to keep in mind
here in the real world.

[Takket]

8. great cast on Ds9

you could have made a kickass show just on the characters that were reoccurring but not main characters

Vedek Bariel
Kai Winn
Shakaar
Gul Dukat
Damar
Garak
Martok
Weyoun
Founder Leader
Rom
Grand Nagus Zek
Leeta

all great flushed out characters that weren't even mains.

[kjones]

14. Definitely

I've never watched much DS9 until now, so I don't know (want to be surprised) if
Dukat and Garak's history is further elaborated later in the series (surely it must be)
but if not, that would have an interesting derivative. A spin-off of a spin-off of a
revival...ha.
The Nagus and Ferengi would also be an interesting topic to explore.

[fizzgig]

11. i'm re-watching right now, too

great series

[KatyMan]

15. My wife and I watch it through about once a year

along with Voyager, Stargate Atlantis and the rebooted Battlestar Galactica. I guess we're lame but we love it. DS9 is my favorite ST series.

[fizzgig]

16. i guess that makes me lame, too

i watch through voyager and ds9 about as frequently. the bsg reboot is my favorite series of all time, but i can't watch it now that it's not on netflix

[KatyMan]

17. I know, we were just about to start watching it too

Luckily it was around Mother's Day so I had the kids get my wife the DVDs for a present, so now we're happily motoring through it

[karadax]

4. #212 (not pasted) is my favorite

"Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don' t hesitate to step on them."

[hifiguy]

6. That one should be in the top ten.

It's the cardinal rule of US Big Biz.

[stevenleser]

5. Don't forget #284 - "Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi."

Which is how people who operate by similar rules think. They think everyone is as ruthless as they are so what they are doing is OK.

[Takket]

7. Ferengi

I'm a long time star trek fan (duh, look at my avatar). I always felt like the Ferengi were modeled after the right wing idea of utopia. In addition to the rules women Ferengi are not allowed to work or wear clothes, and pre-chewed food for the males in their home (husbands and children). I'm not making this up.

There are actually I think 285 rules which were published in a book at some point... most of them are here:

http://memory-beta.wikia.com/wiki/Ferengi_Rules_of_Acquisition

109 if my favorite. It was Quark's response to someone telling him "at least you still have your dignity"

I don't want to post any spoilers for those watching the show but the Ferengi evolution over the course of DS9 was fascinating and the episode "Bar association" is a much watch for anyone who understands progressive struggles in the workplace.

[olddots]

9. someone please do a graphic of the clown car group dressed as Furengi

[LittleBlue]

10. Yesss

The Star Trek writers knew

#40

[fizzgig]

12. .....

[jrandom421]

18. Don't forget the universality of Rule of Aquisition 285

"No good deed ever goes unpunished"